Current Events > I don't understand the biphobia in the gay community

(+) Yeah! (+)

So fucking stupid.

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I blame GLEE

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I notice this in particular with lesbians being cruel to bi women

I imagine they want someone who legitimately likes men rather than someone who just wants to experiment and have fun but doesn't actually like men sexually.

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there's a distinction between bisexuality and hetero-romantics

they wanna be in love and not just bang

TerraSeeker posted...

I imagine they want someone who legitimately likes men rather than someone who just wants to experiment and have fun but doesn't actually like men sexually.

Bi people legitimately like both men and women

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Garioshi posted...

So fucking stupid.

When people say biphobia in the gay community what exactly is meant? Is it that gay people don't want to sleep with bi people? Are they treating bipeople negatively or bigotedly? Are they denying the existence of bi people? Like saying they're just straight but experimenting or some such thing?

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It's just a matter of ideological purity. Some people take their sexuality too goddamn seriously.

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the insecure partner angle is so fucking stupid lol like uhhhhhhhhhhh in a straight couple the male is still attracted to women, you dont ever see the angle that the woman is always gonna be insecure that her male will find other women attractive

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Everybody hates everybody.

DeathDeathSong posted...

the insecure partner angle is so fucking stupid lol like uhhhhhhhhhhh in a straight couple the male is still attracted to women, you dont ever see the angle that the woman is always gonna be insecure that her male will find other women attractive

I mean, yes it is stupid, but I can sort of understand why there could be more insecurity attached when your partner is also fundamentally attracted to something you fundamentally can't offer them.

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DeadBankerDream posted...

Are they treating bipeople negatively or bigotedly?

This, pretty much
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Kanaya413 posted...

I notice this in particular with lesbians being cruel to bi women

So, I'm thinking there is a different response to bisexuality in heterosexual and homosexuals for a practical reason.

Say you're a dude. And you're into chicks. You find out your chick is also into chicks. You're cool with that, because two chicks is hot and you might get lucky and get two chicks in bed at once.

Now, say you're a dude into other dudes. Your dude is also into chicks. But since you don't like chicks, there's nothing interesting there for you. It's just more competition.

I assume lesbians feel mostly the same about chicks who also like dudes.

Then again, straight chicks apparently often don't like dudes who also like other dudes.

bump

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Esrac posted...

Then again, straight chicks apparently often don't like dudes who also like other dudes.

I was with a woman once who told me she broke up with her ex when she found out he was bi, saying something like, I was worried hed always be tempted.

This is how I felt about it then and now, pretty much:

DeathDeathSong posted...

the insecure partner angle is so fucking stupid lol like uhhhhhhhhhhh in a straight couple the male is still attracted to women, you dont ever see the angle that the woman is always gonna be insecure that her male will find other women attractive

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there's a stigma that they're either just experimenting or that they're inevitably going to go straight and settle down for the increased normalcy. its dumb and unfair but what can you do

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We're supposedly a bunch of sex crazed promiscuous cheaters who are only "fake gays" who get to have our cake and eat it too by being able to "pass" as straight or some crap like that. We get shit from both many straight people and many LGBT+ people. It really sucks.

I do have a somewhat relevant and funny (actually sad) anecdote. When I worked at Hollywood Video years and years ago, I had a gay man coworker who hated lesbians and a lesbian coworker who hated gay men. There are just lots of bigoted people out there.

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Living life as a gay person has a few extra pitfalls over living a life as a straight person and just "blending in"

The concern with dating a Bi person, as a gay person, is them realizing that and opting for that easier life, which also comes with non-surrogate, non-adopted children. Which I'm not able to provide.

On the sex angle? Great, whatever. LTR's, especially on the younger folk, is where the leeriness lies. It can be overcome with both words and actions but it's an extra layer of work that a default gay-gay relationship is free to gloss over.
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It is very frustrating. Some of the worst phobia I've had is from the gay community, not that it was ever really bad thankfully.

Many think we're just lying or in denial "We'll turn gay sooner or later" or simply just pretending to "fit in" better. That and the usual "Oh they're just a slut" nonsense you get from all sides. Then you get the whole issue where people don't want to commit in a relationship with a bi person as they don't trust them, which really speak to them more than anything. Don't blame others for your own trust issues.

Thankfully, my own experience is that most of the LGBT+ community is very supportive, but you do get those who are very vocal in their phobia and it is disappointing that they throw the same hate they get onto others, often using the exact same reasoning.

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You'll have "purists" in every group, except bi.

To be fair, how many straight people would be okay with dating and settling down with bi? Outside of the ones who wouldn't for religious reasons, I think its probably the same when bisexuals date straight or gay potential partners. But that's just my hunch. There's that insecurity, as if they have more options to cheat on you.. But it's not that simple. It doesn't mean they go from partner to partner like its nothing.

But I feel bad. I don't really think about the stigma that much, but no doubt I can see it hurts a lot for bisexuals as they get shitted on from both hetero and homosexual communites

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