Current Events > Time for drunk confessions.

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I once dreamed that I grew boobs and had octopus arms for legs (like all 8 tentacles and not a squidward(( and when I went to work after waking up, my coworker (attractive female imo) complimented me on my work and told me that if she could give me her boobs as a promotion she would....

She was married, i was like 18 and haf already put in my 2 weeks notice as I was shipping off to boot camp soon. I said something like " yea that would be cool but im addicted to money not attracting other guys"

Next day she gave me a manilla folder with photocopies of her boobs and a note that said I couldve had them if I wasnt such a smartass..

I legit thought she meant let me have her tits mounted on my chest bc she never came pn to me like that before.

Edit: forgot to mention, I always thought it was my dream trying to advise me about the upcoming potential sexual encounter.

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wbloechel posted...

...is this a copy/pasta?

No, this is legit me and my post from somwthing that happened maybe 15ish years ago

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I once left a floater in the sink at work and blamed it on the hot girl that wouldnt give me play

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randy_123r posted...

Now this gon be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do. Got me talking to myself asking how I'm going to tell you.

I got plenty more, whatever anyone says can always be one upped

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Let me drop a real bomb.

I once had a girlfriend that had 2 dogs, a chihuahua and a pomeranian (sp?). Once we finally got to that point that we were having sex, she was very much a 1 way girl (misisionary and anything else was whoreish or something).

Anyways, a few months after we started doing it on a regular basis, I started getting a little bored (I'm not a cheater, fidelity is important to me) but the sex was DULL....

One day i was clapping it on her bed as usual and I felt a little tingle on the... You know.... The exit.. Felt like she had reached around and .. Well lemme keep this as PG ad possible, I didnt like it but was willing ti do anything to progress beyond boring, but I really dont gaf bc none of yall know me in real life... Felt like she was adventurous finally. I said, "uhhh girl we can do whatever u want I'm here for u bb"

She looked at me like i was crazy. I looked back, and sure enough, FUCKIN DAMN POMERANIAN DOG had started to sniff my butt and i thought it was her getting freaky.

We broke up.


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Pup was curious about dat booty

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My parents are very hardcore right wing christians, not trying to get political but they were extremists to anyones definition trust me, they wouldnt let me move into my own place when i was 18 and i finally told them I was gay when I wasnt thinking they would kick me out. Instead I had a pastor come over every day for 2 weeks straight exorcising my gay demons.

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Maccabeus posted...

My parents are very hardcore right wing christians, not trying to get political but they were extremists to anyones definition trust me, they wouldnt let me move into my own place when i was 18 and i finally told them I was gay when I wasnt thinking they would kick me out. Instead I had a pastor come over every day for 2 weeks straight exorcising my gay demons.

Dog thats deep.

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I once dreamt i woke up to take a piss and while I was pissinf my cat hopped head first into the toilet and then swam down it and got stuck and he escaped down the drain before I could pull him out.

It was the most vivid dream too. It genuinely fucked me up and I had to go find my cat before I could go back to bed since he wasn't sleeping on me.

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Tag

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CanuckCowboy posted...

I once dreamt i woke up to take a piss and while I was pissinf my cat hopped head first into the toilet and then swam down it and got stuck and he escaped down the drain before I could pull him out.

It was the most vivid dream too. It genuinely fucked me up and I had to go find my cat before I could go back to bed since he wasn't sleeping on me.

I had some similar shit happen about an old pet bunny. I had a dream i was really mean to it, like torturing it kinda, felt real bad about it later and gave it extra food to ease my convictions.

Humans do crazy shit sometimes.

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bladegash posted...

I had some similar shit happen about an old pet bunny. I had a dream i was really mean to it, like torturing it kinda, felt real bad about it later and gave it extra food to ease my convictions.

Humans do crazy shit sometimes.

Saying the word "convictions" makes it sound like you tortured it in real life man. I'll let it slide since the topic says you are drunk, but you should just say ease your conscience.

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bladegash posted...

I had some similar shit happen about an old pet bunny. I had a dream i was really mean to it, like torturing it kinda, felt real bad about it later and gave it extra food to ease my convictions.

Humans do crazy shit sometimes.

Lol. Yeah its weird the way a dream can mess with you even when you know.it was just a dream.

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CanuckCowboy posted...

I once dreamt i woke up to take a piss and while I was pissinf my cat hopped head first into the toilet and then swam down it and got stuck and he escaped down the drain before I could pull him out.

It was the most vivid dream too. It genuinely fucked me up and I had to go find my cat before I could go back to bed since he wasn't sleeping on me.

I've had dreams like this too about my fuzzies. I hate those dreams


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