Current Events > Why aren't young men having sex anymore?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I think the world has just gotten a LOT more competitive compared to 50 years ago. You can no longer be a decent looking guy and find someone anymore. The percentile to reach the status is much higher than it was 50 years ago. From a woman's standpoint, this is awesome news, but for a man it's not great at all.
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Had an interesting conversation about this with a friend not too long ago. I think dating apps are a large part of it. Women now have way easier access to older and more established men. And older more established men are probably more than willing to date a girl in her early 20s with not much going on in her life other than being hot and young than if the sexes were to be reversed.

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Chunkey Simmons posted...

I think the world has just gotten a LOT more competitive compared to 50 years ago. You can no longer be a decent looking guy and find someone anymore. The percentile to reach the status is much higher than it was 50 years ago. From a woman's standpoint, this is awesome news, but for a man it's not great at all.

Depends what kind of man you are. If you're desirable you'll have a ton of options and not be pressured to settle down of you don't want to. Pretty awesome news for you if that's the case.

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NOM posted...

Am I generalizing? Yes I am, fuck off. Most women generalize men as well and I have no problem with being a petty bitch anymore.

You tell'em bitch

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Because the men that get the long end of the stick want to continue that.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Idgaf about incel label anymore.

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But the truth about why aren't young men having sex anymore? is....

The flat out truth is women have the upper hand when it comes to relationships and sex. There's sort of a "sexual law of supply and demand". Way more men want to have sex then women willing to. Don't get me wrong this doesn't mean women don't want to have sex but women actually have some risks involved such as pregnancy and assault.

So let's talk about the upper hand women have what does this mean? As an example let's say for every girl you like or find attractive she probably easily has like 12 other dudes interested in her and had a few guys hit on her that week.

Now human nature is greedy and were the tables turned men would do this just as much (*the top 20% of men do), but let's say you've got a whole table of food in front of you and someone tells you you can pick one or two dishes. You're going to pick the best ones right? Well that's what women do.

It gets to a point where women who aren't even that attractive can select guys way above her league just because the law of supply and demand allows her to. This sounds great and it is but here is one of the disadvantages that comes from being a woman. If you see all these guys interested in you you never know which ones are into you for your body or actually into you for your personality. So to them they just think all these guys think they're hot stuff. So when it comes to getting into a relationship they have these guys break up with them prematurely because in their mind the guy is thinking "oh well I'd have sex with this girl but this isn't the face of the girl I want to wake up to every morning".

So women can get discouraged from this and think no one wants them but it's just not the guys they want. There's a observation that's been drawn from this (which I agree with), is that 80% of women are attracted to 20% of the male population.

Another element to the equation of the disparity is since women always have men interested in them, they often have less down time between relationships. This causes women to reach the end of their "sexual experimenting phase" way faster. Where as men still want to "try out different flavors of ice cream". That's why you'll often see more women that want meaningful relationships instead of just "meaningless sex".

So just how bad is this sexual law of supply and demand? Well it's so strong that any woman that joins a dating app will have her inbox flooded with matches/messages, regardless of her personality, weight, beauty, or even age. Yes I've even seen a tinder experiment where an unattractive 60 year old women gets flooded by dudes, some guys even being "chads". I have also performed this experiment with a picture of a random overweight woman and seen it first hand.

I don't think I need to say much more on the matter it's quite evident that there's a sexual law of supply and demand or a
"Sex Gap" if you will. We see this every day in simp culture (ex: guys who buy feet pics, work on their female friends car for free, defends them on the soul basis of being a woman). A sex industry that is oversaturated with women "only***s, Snapchat premium, the porn industry."

I've gotten so many matches over the years on Tinder where if they weren't ignoring me their other cream of the crop matches, they were promoting their Instagram, snap premium, asking for money on their cashapp, or just a straight-up hooker.

I know there's some people that won't agree with me and call me an incel but I've probably been with more women then any of them (16 as of now). Many of the women I've been with I've maintained a relationship with over the years and I've gained a lot of this information through conversations with them as well as my own personal experiences.

Why do I still think that this is an issue even though I've been with a decent amount of women? Well it still took an astronomical amount of verbal effort, failing over and over again and bettering myself so that I'm a more attractive bachelor. Also I'm not selfish I see that other men struggle too. It's not right that some men reach their 30s and are still virgins. I can't imagine my life without sex and it seems sad that some guys don't even get to experience that, it's like not getting to eat gourmet food.

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I blame videogames and modern conveniences. It's too easy to just stay home and enjoy yourself.

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People are lonely all around. Women also like modern conveniences, maybe more often that takes the form of Netflix compared to video games for men, but it's a similar story. Couples can get lonely too. Despite that people are having kids way less (the main thing that kills your social life), I hear a lot about childless couples not having much in the way of socialization besides each other.

What annoys me the most is that out of all the social norms that are breaking down (usually in a good way IMO), the idea that men have to "chase" women hasn't really gone away. You see a little more of the roles breaking down, like couples splitting checks, but it still seems like women are always waiting to be asked out

ImAMarvel posted...

Ehhh, I don't want to go full incel but you're not really wrong there. It's interesting to see the stereotypical white male incel talk about how badly they have it, when if you look at dating site/app statistics, white males get messaged back at much greater rates than men of other races.

Like, there's a lot of truth that if you're, say, black and you're not a 6" Adonis with a gorgeous face, huge biceps, chiseled abs, and a big dick, dating is probably going to be harder for you, if not much more so. There's also truth that Asian men have an issue with being perceived as non-sexual and passive. It's so fucked up.

Though I feel like even though a lot of posts itt have made some good points, it's starting to go full incel in here. It's such a shame that you can't talk about this genuine issue without those sorts coming out of the wood works, because a lot of people are starting to realize that a lot of men drew the short stick when it comes to dating. Posts like that just make it harder to really talk about it and analyze what exactly needs to be done about the issue.

im black and dont have trouble getting girls.

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I totally fucking read the left side of the chart wrong

Also to go dark, men with mental health issues will be heavily looked down on I speak from experience
It's gotten a little better in recent years but there is still a stigma against people with mental health issues and even more so males.


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If you are a male and complain about loneliness, you are considered a threat to society.

Something to throw in prison or throw into poverty.

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I don't know about other guys, but I know I don't have anything to offer, so I'm not surprised that I'm almost 38 and still a virgin.

Some things just aren't meant to be.
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ImAMarvel posted...

How are you so successful with women, if I may ask?

The short answer is be the best you that you can.

You need to shoot for self improvement, exercise, lift some weights, keep up your hygiene (shower, shave/trim, clip nails, buy some nice cologne, do facial masks, etc). Dress nice (pick a style you like and go with it don't just wear graphic tees and sweats/gym shorts [even jeans are boring sometimes]). Style your hair, you don't always have to brush it straight. I found out my hair looks really nice and curly if I only comb it right after getting out of the shower. Girls love earrings, I started with some cheap magnetic ones off of Amazon but now I'm pierced.

If you really want to go the mile for whatever reason girls love tattoos as well (I don't have one). Girls also love height and if you're short you can give the appearance of being taller than you are by buying some nice boots which will add a few inches but you don't need that.

If you're not socially adept, then you're going to need some practice, and lessons. I have high functioning autism, so I had to learn social skills the way somebody would study for a test. There's some good videos on YouTube with really simple things you wouldn't think mattered like posture, and where your eyes are looking (it's very important to maintain eye contact about 70-80% of the time). A way you can practice this is having a job in customer service, you learn to be confident in yourself. If you don't do this then just practice talking to anyone it doesn't have to be a girl, you can even start with just learning how to wave or say hi to people that you pass by.

One more thing I'll say on the matter is that you're going to have to settle sometimes, you may have to settle a lot. This means there's a girl that's interested in you but you don't think she's very attractive. For example I settled for some girls who were obese. My thought process was "well I can't bash it until I've tried it and I'm told to try to exemplify body positivity". So if you try it and it's not for you, at least in the end, to put it in video game terms, you "leveled up your romance and relation skills"


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Inferno Dive Dragoon posted...

I don't know about other guys, but I know I don't have anything to offer, so I'm not surprised that I'm almost 38 and still a virgin.

Some things just aren't meant to be.

Sure seems that way. I'm closing in on 32 and even when I was 18-early 20s and working out girls never expressed interest in me and the women I did try to hook up with either friend zoned me or shut me down. I'm not inherently appealing to women and trying to improve yourself only gets you so far.

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Also it sounds bad but you can't be too nice because that's boring you got to learn to make fun of them a little bit but not in a mean spirited way. Also make a few sexually suggestive comments but not too much, there's a fine balance. You want to spark their curiosity but don't be too heavy-handed with it. Yes respect women and all but if you matched with a girl on Tinder, she's not going to want you to talk to her like you would talk to your mother.

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deoxxys posted...

The short answer is be the best you that you can.

You need to shoot for self improvement, exercise, lift some weights, keep up your hygiene (shower, shave/trim, clip nails, buy some nice cologne, do facial masks, etc). Dress nice (pick a style you like and go with it don't just wear graphic tees and sweats/gym shorts [even jeans are boring sometimes]). Style your hair, you don't always have to brush it straight. I found out my hair looks really nice and curly if I only comb it right after getting out of the shower. Girls love earrings, I started with some cheap magnetic ones off of Amazon but now I'm pierced.

You wore fake earrings and someone had sex with you? FAKE POST NOTHIN TO SEE HERE YALL

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ImAMarvel posted...

Will post my thoughts and ask questions tomorrow. Thanks for the detailed response, dude.

No prob

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ShyOx posted...

You wore fake earrings and someone had sex with you? FAKE POST NOTHIN TO SEE HERE YALL

You'd be surprised most people don't even realize they were magnetic.

And technically being magnetic doesn't make them fake earrings, they would be just fake piercings.

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ShyOx posted...

You wore fake earrings and someone had sex with you? FAKE POST NOTHIN TO SEE HERE YALL

Bro what lmao

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deoxxys posted...

You'd be surprised most people don't even realize they were magnetic.

And technically being magnetic doesn't make them fake earrings, they would be just fake piercings.

Nah of course they cant tell I just thought it was funny, my brother got some when we were like ten. It just seems like one of those ridiculous things that could throw a wrench when someone figured out youve been wearing magnetic earrings

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Too many men are spoiled by modern conveniences and develope into immature manbabies at age 25. Addicted to porn, video games and food they end up gross and unattractive to the opposite sex. Women are spoiled too but it impacts men more because more is expected of men.

KingWhiteKnight posted...

>Name checks out


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Its easier to stay inside and keep yourself entertained these days. We have tv shows and k dramas for women. Video games and twitch for men.

Back in the days, kids had to play outside.

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ImAMarvel posted...

Okay?

My point was that black men are frequently only seen as attractive if they tick off certain boxes.

"B-b-but I'm not a Chad or ghetto and I get laid"

Congratulations, that doesn't mean the rest of us don't have it at least a little harder lmao

Plenty of black guys dont check your boxes and have no problem getting laid at all myself included.

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deoxxys posted...

For example I settled for some girls who were obese. My thought process was "well I can't bash it until I've tried it and I'm told to try to exemplify body positivity"

Everything you posted up to this was good, but this bullshit here is an epic fail. Fuck that bullshit of thinking its ok to be unhealthy, and if you are not attracted to fat women do not do yourself such a disservice to fake it. Having an unattractive partner is one thing but never settle for someone obese you know your not at all attracted to even for practice or experience, have some self respect.

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RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

Everything you posted up to this was good, but this bullshit here is an epic fail. Fuck that bullshit of thinking its ok to be unhealthy, and if you are not attracted to fat women do not do yourself such a disservice to fake it. Having an unattractive partner is one thing but never settle for someone obese you know your not at all attracted to even for practice or experience, have some self respect.

I mean I don't believe in this myself and it's true you should work to be healthy. Also some things you don't know if you like until you try it. People look at fat people and say they aren't attracted to them. But having sex with a few plump women gave me appreciation for them (especially if their fat distribution was on point, heading to the boobs, butt and thighs instead of face), where as before I only wanted women who were average or skinny and now I don't mind if they're overweight but not obese.

And I disagree, if one of the virgins here get a chance to be with a big gal they should give her a shot, at least they won't be virgins anymore and they will have a better idea of what their goal is and how to properly interact with women.

Now if I want to give one last piece of advice on this, big women do not want to lose weight. So if you think you're going get a cute but fat girl and have her lose weight think again. Partially it's the fault of the body positivity thing, when you're told you're a princess your whole life, that you should be accepted for how you are and you have men lining up to have sex with you. It's kind of conditioned women too never never consider self improvement whereas men that's all we have.

A few girls I was with were really big and this was pretty much the story with them. Never wanted to change their diet habits, workout, etc.

There was one girl which I legitimately loved and wouldn't mind marrying, she was the sweetest thing ever. But she got super defensive and dismissive when I suggested losing weight alongside her. Long after we went separate ways and still talked she still kept having the same problem, men who didn't want to stick around because they just wanted a screw. She could never realize it was because she never wanted to better herself.

It's a shame to because she was really pretty and one of the sweetest girls I'll ever have shared a life experience with. Even if it didn't work out I would never take back the time I had with her. And that's specifically why I disagree with you on never trying a relationship with a big girl.

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Personally, I could never be with a woman who doesn't look like a supermodel even when she's not wearing makeup. I feel I'm entitled to that.

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NOM posted...

Honestly, and I know I'll get called an incel to hell and back for this but I don't really give a shit anymore...

Women are annoying as fuck and not to be trusted. At least, here in the USA. They don't truly know what they want, they contradict themselves, instead of talking to you about perceived issues they have they either keep it inside, or blab about it to their girlfriends, or put you on blast on social media.

To interact with them is akin to interacting with a ticking time bomb.

Not to mention they go for older dudes because they have some kind of daddy issue.

Am I generalizing? Yes I am, fuck off. Most women generalize men as well and I have no problem with being a petty bitch anymore.

Damn. This is stereotypical and harsh, but it also rings true given my personal experience.

People always talk about stuff like this here but I have to wonder how successful those who have no luck with the opposite sex are when it comes to social interaction in general.

Apart from a couple of shut ins that I knew from school and uni, I've never known anybody facing the struggle that many posters in here seem to be claiming is all too common. It's like the people struggling live in a totally different part of society.

this isn't new

for every ranma there is a ryoga and mousse

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Glob posted...

People always talk about stuff like this here but I have to wonder how successful those who have no luck with the opposite sex are when it comes to social interaction in general.

Apart from a couple of shut ins that I knew from school and uni, I've never known anybody facing the struggle that many posters in here seem to be claiming is all too common. It's like the people struggling live in a totally different part of society.

Speaking of people I know from school, one thing I've noticed is that a lot of people who got into a relationship late in college are still in it/married, and a lot of people who were single are still single. That isn't to say that they haven't been with anyone in the time between of course but it really just makes me wonder if it's mostly being in the right place at the right time. I think you'd find very few people who would say their social life has improved since college.

Look, I'm 30, married and haven't been single since 2013, but from what I have gathered in observing and talking to single friends:

• Communicating via online methods, allowing people to pick and choose when to reply (ie - hours/days later, or never at all) has a massive impact on the ability to form relationships. Meeting and striking up a conversation in person generally means that people won't just "ghost" you mid conversation (although this can still happen), and you can form bonds/attraction quicker.
• People are less trusting of one another now
• Financial reasons/more people living with their parents can impact the ability of hooking up
• The prestige around having lots of sex is less than it used to be - people don't put as much effort into it (although that could just be that I/my friends are getting older)

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Glob posted...

People always talk about stuff like this here but I have to wonder how successful those who have no luck with the opposite sex are when it comes to social interaction in general.

Apart from a couple of shut ins that I knew from school and uni, I've never known anybody facing the struggle that many posters in here seem to be claiming is all too common. It's like the people struggling live in a totally different part of society.

social anxiety and depression often play a huge role but looks, luck, and lack of charm can play a role to. In my case when I was working out and hanging out with a bunch of different people in college dorms, women just didn't show any interest in me in terms of a realtionship and/or sex

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TreyFlowers posted...

Communicating via online methods, allowing people to pick and choose when to reply (ie - hours/days later, or never at all) has a massive impact on the ability to form relationships. Meeting and striking up a conversation in person generally means that people won't just "ghost" you mid conversation (although this can still happen), and you can form bonds/attraction quicker.

I hate this shit. I'm sure we're all guilty of it to some degree, including myself, but some people are just really bad about it. If you don't wanna talk to someone that's fine but the people who constantly try to be your friend when it's convenient for them, only to repeatedly ghost you out of nowhere are the worst

Look back when I was single, if I was talking to a girl in a bar and decided I didn't like her or want to pursue any further, on more than one occasion I just got up and left mid conversation. As in, literally as she was speaking.

I was an asshole.

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CoorsLight posted...

I think you'd find very few people who would say their social life has improved since college.

Well that seems obvious. A time of your life when you often don't have to get up early in the morning and all of your peers are looking to make new friends and many of them are looking to have sex and you've probably got plenty of free time? Seems like it would be the peak of anybody's social life.

GS4Life posted...

social anxiety and depression often play a huge role

Sure, but that will play a huge role in terms of other interactions too, right? That was kind of my point.
GS4Life posted...

looks, luck, and lack of charm can play a role

Looks are nowhere near as important as most people believe. If you're unlucky, you'll face more rejection but that's part of the process for nearly everybody.

GS4Life posted...

In my case when I was working out and hanging out with a bunch of different people in college dorms, women just didn't show any interest in me in terms of a realtionship and/or sex

Most men aren't approached by women. That's not how our society works. For better or worse, as the guy you have to initiate and accept the fact that it won't always go the way you want it to.

You ever notice that these topics always wind up being just guys commiserating with each other?

Women never show up to say anything.

Do women at large give a single fuck about the romantic woes of men?

Hornswoggled posted...

You ever notice that these topics always wind up being just guys commiserating with each other?

Women never show up to say anything.

Do women at large give a single fuck about the romantic woes of men?

That's a really weird standard to hold them to. Do men often sit around worrying about the romantic woes of women? Because they have a lot of communities dedicated to dismissing all concerns of women, romantic or otherwise. Modern society has made things very hard for men to have sex compared to the historical norms, but compared to the situation women face with sexual harassment and assault, it's pretty ridiculous to expect them to go "oh man I feel so bad for men that can't find someone to have sex with". Especially when some of those men form communities dedicated to hating women and dismissing or even advocating for harassment and assault.

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Hornswoggled posted...

You ever notice that these topics always wind up being just guys commiserating with each other?

Women never show up to say anything.

Do women at large give a single fuck about the romantic woes of men?

There aren't a ton of women on this board, but one literally showed up on the first page.

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Hornswoggled posted...

Women never show up to say anything

Women on gamefaq's lmao

ssjevot posted...

That's a really weird standard to hold them to. Do men often sit around worrying about the romantic woes of women?

Agreed


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Chunkey Simmons posted...

I think the world has just gotten a LOT more competitive compared to 50 years ago. You can no longer be a decent looking guy and find someone anymore. The percentile to reach the status is much higher than it was 50 years ago. From a woman's standpoint, this is awesome news, but for a man it's not great at all.

anecdotal evidence.

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Mackorov posted...

I agree those are legitimate factors but it doesn't explain why MEN are having less sex than women. After all, isn't it MEN that naturally would want more sex? I'd also discount off the factor on gays since they only make up 1% of the population. so wouldnt affect survey data much... if they happen to made up the respondents

Wut?

4 pages of the most fucking pathetic whining and blaming of women about made up bullshit when the op's image literally shows the vast majority of young men, are, in fact, having sex.


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