Current Events > Anyone else profoundly depressed

(+) Yeah! (+)

Sometimes i cry myself to sleep

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That used to be me. Then I started investing, hitting the gym, working harder at work, and now Im too stressed to even notice the depression half the time.

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Idk how much longer i can keep going

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Yes.

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I'd raise my hand, but that's just too much effort right now

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Too much to do to be depressed.

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I wouldn't say profoundly since I can still find stuff funny. But I've been sleeping until I absolutely can't anymore lately. I go to sleep to get up at like 9-10 and don't wake up til 1 anyway. And even then I only get up to not feel worse when I wake up even later.

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Sometimes I wake up with panic attacks.

It's like I can go to sleep fine. Then when I wake up it's like the world is ending. Especially if I have a weird dream.

I'm on meds for it now but they're not working.

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To elaborate. When I wake up it feels like something is telling me to kill myself. It's getting stronger as time goes on.


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My depression has been getting worse as my hearing loss has been progressing
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try listening to this and then tell me what you fucking think:

https://open.spotify.com/track/3ECoINjEVrNiDmwsGNeLrY?si=c7496f053a1a437c

LeoRavus posted...

Sometimes I wake up with panic attacks.

It's like I can go to sleep fine. Then when I wake up it's like the world is ending. Especially if I have a weird dream.

I'm on meds for it now but they're not working.

LeoRavus posted...

To elaborate. When I wake up it feels like something is telling me to kill myself. It's getting stronger as time goes on.

I know this feeling, but it happened for different reasons. I know them as seperate feelings. I know the feeling of opening my eyes, looking at my slightly opened door thinking "Is there a point?" And I know the stronger comment you made through drug fueled deprivation induced intrusive thoughts. It's when I made a terrifying realization that gave me a lot of empathy for suicidal people. Though I never felt I personally and consciously wanted to go that route.

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Have been for a long time, it's worse recently because of work

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LeoRavus posted...

Sometimes I wake up with panic attacks.

It's like I can go to sleep fine. Then when I wake up it's like the world is ending. Especially if I have a weird dream.

I'm on meds for it now but they're not working.

I had an ex who would wake up like that in college. Sucks, im sorry

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As usual I blame CE.

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I can't cry anymore.

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BloodMoon7 posted...

I can't cry anymore.

I watch sad movies/anime and cry for the cathartic release. Sometime i cry at happy/romantic shows,too, tho, because ill never experience those positive situations

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XxMahnaMahnaxX posted...

I watch sad movies/anime and cry for the cathartic release. Sometime i cry at happy/romantic shows,too, tho, because ill never experience those positive situations

Sad things just make me laugh. I can't relate to happy/romantic things so I laugh but this time in confusion.

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Did u eat a SMILE fruit?

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Weird flex but ok

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BloodMoon7 posted...

No I just enjoy people's suffering. If everyone would just suffer, that would be great. And I was told than when in doubt, laugh! Aha! Hahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

Real talk: I have some weird enjoyment of hearing stories of people whose generosity blew up in their face.

Nothing serious, just someone trying to do right by another person and that person being enough of a selfish ass to misuse the gesture. Like a person offering to buy a guy a bike who claims he just needs a way to get to work to hold down a stable job then two days after getting that bike it's discovered he pawned it for beer money.

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Why is that funny? Yall are warped

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Solid Sonic posted...

Real talk: I have some weird enjoyment of hearing stories of people whose generosity blew up in their face.

Nothing serious, just someone trying to do right by another person and that person being enough of a selfish ass to misuse the gesture. Like a person offering to buy a guy a bike who claims he just needs a way to get to work to hold down a stable job then two days after getting that bike it's discovered he pawned it for beer money.

That shit is pretty funny though, I think most people would find it at least mildly amusing.

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XxMahnaMahnaxX posted...

Why is that funny? Yall are warped

Bloodmoon is a gimmick account

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Anyway, all the darkness in the world, and the apparent enjoyment people get out of it, is depressing

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TheRadiant posted...

Bloodmoon is a gimmick account

Oh. Really lame to troll a topic about depression but w/e =/

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And radiant i totally feel you on working exacerbating depression. Sometimes before/during work i just break down crying because its so depressing this is my life; i get paid to get yelled at by people over their internet service for pennies

I feel pathetic

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Not proundly so, and only when I'm sober
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call centers are not designed to be long term employment.

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Its all good man, this is a safe space

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I'm drowning in it.

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XxMahnaMahnaxX posted...

Oh. Really lame to troll a topic about depression but w/e =/

Yeah it's pretty sad. Both BM and SS are anti vaxxer trolls.

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And yes that was a One Piece reference. I have nothing in my life so ive been binge watching from Fishman Island on after a year+ hiatus
Nearly done with Wano

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ultimate reaver posted...

call centers are not designed to be long term employment.

Its too much work to find a new job.

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I hope all of you find something(s) that make you happy.
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XxMahnaMahnaxX posted...

Anyway, all the darkness in the world, and the apparent enjoyment people get out of it, is depressing

Dont worry, like the Sonic guy said - you buy that bike and the guy sold it, but who cares? You did your part, and that person is happier off for it. The worst extreme event is a junkie collapsing, but I didnt do that or know that and it is what it is. The world especially cant get you down when you just have good reasons to carry on and honestly, my depression goes away when Im in service to someone else

and in a strange way I feel happier that they dont feel like I do. I start to become happy because that makes me happy - and I dont ask stupid questions like why, how, or what.. just how can I give more

course Im a human being and get upset and angry like anyone else but I try to make things right if I make them wrong

You can go and do that too, life doesnt need to have its heroes just in fiction when we know you can try and be one for someone else

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RedJackson posted...

Dont worry, like the Sonic guy said - you buy that bike and the guy sold it, but who cares? You did your part, and that person is happier off for it. The worst extreme event is a junkie collapsing, but I didnt do that or know that and it is what it is. The world especially cant get you down when you just have good reasons to carry on and honestly, my depression goes away when Im in service to someone else

and in a strange way I feel happier that they dont feel like I do. I start to become happy because that makes me happy - and I dont ask stupid questions like why, how, or what.. just how can I give more

course Im a human being and get upset and angry like anyone else but I try to make things right if I make them wrong

You can go and do that too, life doesnt need to have its heroes just in fiction when we know you can try and be one for someone else

Respect. Helping others is a great thing

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XxMahnaMahnaxX posted...

i get paid to get yelled at by people over their internet service for pennies

I feel pathetic

Oh >_>

Well just let them yell I guess, why does that bother you?

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RedJackson posted...

Oh >_>

Well just let them yell I guess, why does that bother you?

Existing solely to act as an emotional and verbal punching bag to shield an objectively awful company is just nerve wracking and depressing. Its hard to explain if youve never worked customer service

The company treats you like an easily replaceable cog and the customers just dump on you

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BloodMoon7 posted...

I can't cry anymore.

^^^

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XxMahnaMahnaxX posted...

Existing solely to act as an emotional and verbal punching bag to shield an objectively awful company is just nerve wracking and depressing. Its hard to explain if youve never worked customer service

The company treats you like an easily replaceable cog and the customers just dump on you

Ah, yeah. I dont have much experience there.. as other said, sometimes all you really got is a sense of humor with ya at the ironies and situations life throws at you. Theres been times where certainly shit has gotten so fucked up that I couldnt help but laugh at the astounding reality of a thing happy.

Sometimes things are so stupid that you can only hope to laugh and say bruh

Honestly Id just get hip with even encouraging them to insult you, by just doing what you can and trying to figure out what exactly triggers them lol especially if you got hours to go.. its like what else can ya do?

Hope that gets better for you though

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Yep and I'm out of drugs too

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Yeah man. I slept for 15 hours last night because like... What's the point?

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If you are out of shape do yourself a favor and try exercising and getting your diet in check.

Working out will release chemicals that make you feel less depressed and has the added bonus of improving your body. Eating excessive processed fast food, junk food and sugar seriously messes up not only your physical health but also your mental health and makes you feel bloated and sluggish. People are so conditioned into eating all this crap constantly that they think it's normal. Dunno if it will help you but it worked for me.

XxMahnaMahnaxX posted...

Its too much work to find a new job.

its worth it. those jobs are meant to chew you up and spit you out because agents are super disposable. the people that stay are either made of iron or purely self destructive

i worked at one for two years and by the time i quit i was legit like a different person. every other job id ever worked i have been really consistent and rarely call out, that place i was regularly skipping work for depression and was probably going to end up fired (or dead) if i didnt go.


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ultimate reaver posted...

its worth it. those jobs are meant to chew you up and spit you out because agents are super disposable. the people that stay are either made of iron or purely self destructive

i worked at one for two years and by the time i quit i was legit like a different person. i spent every day before going in in a malaise and every evening after i get off eating and drinking myself to death. every other job id ever worked i have been really consistent and rarely call out, that place i was regularly skipping work for depression and was probably going to end up fired (or dead) if i didnt go.

Jesus this is so spot on to my life

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I used to smoke weed and drink a lot for self medication, waiting for it to be legalised in missouri because when I'm high everything feels alright.

I'm watching YouTube videos of people brawling in public.

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