Current Events > Scenario: Captain Planet is getting a gritty reboot

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Our good buddy UnfairRepresent is trapped in purgatory so he asked his fellow CEmen to bare the weight of his gimmick.

Scenario: Captain Planet is getting a gritty reboot.



The planet is in shambles. With wildfires eating up the western part of the United States and the polar ice caps melting, forcing polar bears South to feed on human flesh, the planet needs a hero.

Gaia, the mother of the Earth (played by Whoopie Goldberg, naturally) needs help from the world's youth to combine and summon the healing force that is Captain Planet (played by Don Cheadle, naturally).

You are being funded by DuncanWii's bad spending habits so budget is not a problem. He has big plans to move in with his girlfriend and needs to prove to her parents that he's financially viable so there's lots of pressure on you for the movie to make it's money back. He only has the rights until the end of next year so he wants it to be a 2022 Summer blockbuster as Covid will be over by then.

Who do you get to write and direct this would-be summer blockbuster? Who are you going to cast as the planeteers? The consultant says that pitbulls are hot right now and they want a talking pitbull in the movie as a mascot voiced by either Gilbert Gottfried or John Leguizamo if he says yes.

Oh, shit, we forgot to tell you that there's a videogame based on the movie coming out too! Which studio do you get to make the game and what kind of game is it?

The higher ups are breathing down your neck for this thing to be the biggest commercial success since the MCU, even bigger with an expanded universe, multiple spinoff films and toy line. Funko pop already said yes to the movie so they'll need to know by Saturday (That's today!).

What do?

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