Current Events > Again. Don't rely on anyone in life.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I think I made a similar topic like this a year or so ago. Everyday validates this. There should only be a small handful of people in this world you can somewhat rely on. Even then, dont fully rely on them because life can happen. Their life will always take priority over yours if things are rough too

Handle your problems yourself as much as possible. Dont expect help. Dont help everyone else all the time thinking these people will help you if you are in trouble. Because most of the time they wont.

This even goes for family. I have a friend who lives 5 states away from me. He is down big right now. He lost his car in a wreck and has to walk 2 hours to work one way everyday. He has a friends and coworkers there that he helped all the time. What will they do now that he needs help? Nothing. They wont even give him a ride. He has family there too. Same result. He cant borrow a car or even get a ride. Im the most help get got across the country.

People in the world are inherently selfish. Constantly relying on them will be nothing but disappointing. Also, learn to be happy without rely on someone to make you happy including your SO. This will benefit you in the long run

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Trust nobody not even yourself

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Irony posted...

Trust nobody not even yourself

True statement. This goes with reliance as well. The difference is, if you screw up that folly only effects you, which is motivation to do better. Plus, you will plan for when you screw up too

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Bump

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I only trust the people who I can manipulate

Edgy

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I don't understand how this can be possible. It's Group life for all. You make your food and motor?

The most important thing is to have a functional Group in the City.

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it really just depends on your life, and the people in it.

There's a difference between having mutually beneficial relationships with other people that involve spotting and generosity, and putting yourself into a situation where you need someone to bail you out to prevent your life from falling apart

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkaexjc-1os

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There will be times when no one can help you. And you will feel powerless.

SniperRifle505 posted...

There will be times when no one can help you. And you will feel powerless.

That's what TC has been saying tho... Even if you feel powerless. Even if it's without a doubt, a hopeless situation. You have yourself and only yourself. When no one else can help you, your only option is to help yourself. And if you learn this early on, you will be as prepared as you can be to move foward.

You must. There is no alternative.

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BloodMoon7 posted...

That's what TC has been saying tho... Even if you feel powerless. Even if it's without a doubt, a hopeless situation. You have yourself and only yourself. When no one else can help you, your only option is to help yourself. And if you learn this early on, you will be as prepared as you can be to move foward.

You must. There is no alternative.

This exactly. Im not saying you can ask others for help. Im saying dont rely on them. That is a trap.

What if you lost your job right now? It wasnt even your fault. They just wanted to downsize. What is the plan? Did you save enough to be able to pay the bills while you job hunt? If not, then what? How will you bring in money fast enough to pay bills? What if you cant and you lose your home/apartment? Now where do you live? With your friend? Parents? What if those options are duds because they just cant?

See how fast life can spiral out of control? This a lot of that could have been prevented if you prepared in a way that you can that you relied on yourself. You cant control everything. However, losing your job by something you didnt see coming to you actually having time to find another job because you prepared. That would be much easier vs going down that rabbit hole.

That is all just from one example.


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This exactly why i have chosen to live with my parents. I know they will never fuck me cuz they are old enough now to see how much i help them. I used tocare about having a family and a wife, that comes 2nd to my father and mother. They were there for me through my worst times, they never gave up on me. I am going to make sure i get my folks a nice place to stay and stability. If a girl decides she wants to be a part of our little family then she is welcome but i am not going to leave my folks behind again for pussy.

I have cut out a lot of people in my life now. I am just waiting to get out of this god forsaken state of illinois and start fresh. I am sorry to hear about your friend. I hate to ask but why does he not take public transportation or buy a bike and cycle to work? What about leasing a car or finding a person willing to rent to own a car from?

I can't lose my job tho

Life is better when you have people you can rely on really. I think out of necessity having to do everything yourself sucks. It happens though. Life is weird though. Usually the people you find are when you are just on your own doing your own thing. When you really need them they suck ass. Makes you realize how fake people can be.

TrollTrace posted...

I hate to ask but why does he not take public transportation or buy a bike and cycle to work? What about leasing a car or finding a person willing to rent to own a car from?

Getting into the entire story will take to long so Ill give the abridged story. He makes more money than I do but doesnt save much at all. His car was breaking down and he held off on repairing it while not saving. His car eventually broke down to where it wasnt drivable and he didnt have the money to fix it. No one will give him a ride, family or coworkers. He helped them many times but no one could help him. So he started walking to work.

I gave him some money to help fix his car. Not enough because I have to look out for myself too, this why you dont rely on anyone including those that actually help, and I told him he should get a moped or bike with that money. He refused and put it all towards his car. I told him that is dangerous and you need to prepare of things go south. You can wait a little long as long as you have security. He got paid, got enough money to get his car fixed and. Things went south.

He put everything by he had into that car. He didnt even have money for food anymore let alone gas. A few days later, a storm came through. And a tree fell on his car. He canceled his insurance a few days before because he couldnt afford to pay it.

So he had nothing. No car, no insurance to help pay for the car and no bike to get to work. Hell he didnt even have food. All because he put it all into his car and hoped it worked out. The people he tried to rely on couldnt help him. He didnt have a plan for when anything failed. To top it off, he was planning on quitting his job after this because the higher ups wouldnt pick him up
for work like that was their responsibility. Again, relying on others.

Now you see how fast his life spiraled out of control. I was the only one that could help him stay afloat in any reasonable way. I left out so many details too

kg88222 posted...

Life is better when you have people you can rely on really.

That would be/is great when it can happen but if that is your only option for things then you are setting yourself up for failure. Having people to lean on in life is different than having people you rely on. Relying on someone means you are screwed without them.

This is very true for relationships. If you are relying on having a spouse to compete you and make you happy Your life will be far far worse if they are cut out your life. You have to find a way to be happy without anyone but yourself before you get to that point

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That is rough i hope things get better for him. He honestly should have purchased a bicycle with the money you gave him. It was not very wise of him to behave the way he did. Does he have any negative habits other than poor financial decisions? Most of the time if a person is healthy they make relatively good decisions.

TrollTrace posted...

That is rough i hope things get better for him. He honestly should have purchased a bicycle with the money you gave him. It was not very wise of him to behave the way he did. Does he have any negative habits other than poor financial decisions? Most of the time if a person is healthy they make relatively good decisions.

Yea. He is a smoker and gets very little sleep consistently. Those are the first things that come to mind. He is also unhappy because his girlfriend broke up with him that he seemed to push away himself without realizing it. He keeps trying to win her back when she doesnt want it and I think that is effecting him too. He is in a real bad spot right now


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I wouldn't say you shouldn't rely on other people, but I would say that you should be prepared for them to let you down and handle it gracefully when that happens. We're all only human after all
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teep_ posted...

I wouldn't say you shouldn't rely on other people, but I would say that you should be prepared for them to let you down and handle it gracefully when that happens. We're all only human after all

That is kinda what I was getting at. I didnt come off like that I guess. People dont like to plan or prepare. They rely on other people as their only option and when that falls apart they fall apart because they have nothing else. Those people are playing Checkers with their life instead of 4D Chess

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I'm playing Darts with mine. But the darts are explosive.

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Irony posted...

Trust nobody not even yourself

If you cant trust yourself then youre making consistently fucked decisions. Thats a different thing.

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masticatingman posted...

If you cant trust yourself then youre making consistently fucked decisions. Thats a different thing.

True that which is something you can work on. I still dont fully trust myself now a days even though Ive improved on it a ton. I plan for when I screw up just in case. At least now a days I only really need to plan for smaller things instead of the really big things.

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DepreceV2 posted...

True that which is something you can work on. I still dont fully trust myself now a days even though Ive improved on it a ton. I plan for when I screw up just in case. At least now a days I only really need to plan for smaller things instead of the really big things.

Dude just find a good therapist bro...they are basically a friend that only gives sound advice to all your problems. If you find that you make critical behavioral errors a therapist is gonna put you on the right path.

I learnt not to trust anyone very early on.

My mother ran out on me before I was born.

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TrollTrace posted...

Dude just find a good therapist bro...they are basically a friend that only gives sound advice to all your problems. If you find that you make critical behavioral errors a therapist is gonna put you on the right path.

Oh Im good now. That was years ago. I just over plan now out of habit


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DepreceV2 posted...

True that which is something you can work on. I still dont fully trust myself now a days even though Ive improved on it a ton. I plan for when I screw up just in case. At least now a days I only really need to plan for smaller things instead of the really big things.

Well, you said the exact opposite was a true statement earlier itt so youre flip flopping.

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masticatingman posted...

Well, you said the exact opposite was a true statement earlier itt so youre flip flopping.

?

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My philosophy has always been dont ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason whatsoever

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I made a therapists appointment a few weeks ago, but the appointment won't take place for a few weeks yet

A friend of mine did something similar, only for the therapist to cancel on him the day before (she gave up her practice, I don't have the full details)

When stuff like that happens, you feel lost regardless of how much you've planned
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