Current Events > You have to fight an animal with a weapon. Which do you choose?

(+) Yeah! (+)

1) You are in an open field 5 miles by 5 miles. If you get ring out or kill all the bees, you will win. You can tank however many stings you can IRL. You have a 50' head start
2) You are in a jungle 2 miles by 2 miles. A Bengal tiger has been stalking you and will attack if you are unaware sometime in the next 30 seconds. It is 100 feet from you right now.
3) You are in the savannah 10 miles from ring out. you are given an unloaded musket with 3 rounds. You have 1 minute to prepare, the lionesses are between 100 and 500 feet from you.
4) You have to cross a slow moving river at a crossing 200' wide, 1000' across (that you have to travel), it is 4.5' deep at the deepest. You can start crossing whenever you want.
5) Kodiak island with 1 mile for ring out. The shield is the size of a trash can and weighs 25 pounds. Bear will attack in 10 seconds.
6) You are 1000 feet from shore, water is 20' deep. Shark is 100' away and you can see it's fin
7) You are in a field 1 mile by 1 mile field and the pit bulls think you are a child but are 200' away, 4 in a pack at 6 o'clock, 1 at 12 o'clock
8) 200' wide, 500' across, but 10' deep, you choose when you cross
9) Savannah, 2 miles from ring out, you have 16 rounds total, 2 magazines. Elephants are 200' away
10) Open field, 5 miles by 5 miles, snakes are dispersed evenly but will come towards you

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bump

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Obviously the easiest choice, bengal with a katana.

All, with love

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Snakes or bees are the only ones I feel like I have a shot with, but 100,000 bees sounds terrifying, so snakes.

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I feel like I have the greatest chance of survival with the snakes.

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I think the most realistic chance of survival is in scenario 1, considering the head start. Bees can fly at like 15mph, and a human in good condition can sprint that for a bit. Bees dont have endurance to chase over long distances at that type of speed, so if you can just sprint for like 200-300 feet, you have a decent chance of putting enough distance between you and the swarm. After that, its a 5 mile jog to safety.

You have a chance of scaring off the lions with the musket shots. Kill one, reload while the lions back off from the loud shot. No guarantees, but it might work.

The elephants could only be beaten if you could shoot them in the eyes, Id imagine.

You could maybe beat the snakes if you can keep tabs on all of them.

Everything else sounds like a death sentence.

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I choose elephants vs an ACP. I probably won't kill them, but I feel like they'll run off if I fire a few shots.

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Easiest choice is the Pits. Afterall, they are nanny dogs, right?

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id choose to fight the 4 hippos with a spear. they aren't predatory animals (i believe they are herbivores) and they dont look too big like an elephant so prob a good odds of living

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The Popo posted...

I think the most realistic chance of survival is in scenario 1, considering the head start. Bees can fly at like 15mph, and a human in good condition can sprint that for a bit. Bees dont have endurance to chase over long distances at that type of speed, so if you can just sprint for like 200-300 feet, you have a decent chance of putting enough distance between you and the swarm. After that, its a 5 mile jog to safety.

You have a chance of scaring off the lions with the musket shots. Kill one, reload while the lions back off from the loud shot. No guarantees, but it might work.

The elephants could only be beaten if you could shoot them in the eyes, Id imagine.

You could maybe beat the snakes if you can keep tabs on all of them.

Everything else sounds like a death sentence.

The pitbull one is liveable. Probably a trip to the hospital though

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Ratchetrockon posted...

id choose to fight the 4 hippos with a spear. they aren't predatory animals and they dont look too big like an elephant so prob a good odds of living

Hippos are some of the most violent herbivores out there.

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Bear with the shield. I feel like as long as you keep warding it off and deflecting it, it'll lose interest.

But if the topic means you have to fight and kill, the pit bulls.

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If there are more opponents than there are you, the action economy is heavily in the enemy's favor. Imma try 1v1 that tiger.

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it has to be elephant, right? like i know they're huge but eight bullets should at LEAST be enough to disable one, right? again assuming you hit, which shouldn't be too hard because again, they're massive

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Provided the fight is on land, I think an individual with a bo staff would be well protected against crocodiles. I don't think it would be an effective weapon for harming them, but crocodiles are easily frightened/deterred. You hold a big stick in their direction and they're afraid of what the stick might do to them.

Ratchetrockon posted...

id choose to fight the 4 hippos with a spear. they aren't predatory animals (i believe they are herbivores) and they dont look too big like an elephant so prob a good odds of living

LOL You are soooooo wrong and sooooooo dead.

Ratchetrockon posted...

id choose to fight the 4 hippos with a spear. they aren't predatory animals (i believe they are herbivores) and they dont look too big like an elephant so prob a good odds of living

Nah man, from what I know about hippos, trying to fight 4 of them with a spear is a death wish.

They are considered one of the most dangerous land mammals because they're territorial and temperamental. They're also the 3rd largest land mammal behind elephants and white rhinos, so you can still be crushed by one. They weigh a few tons on average.

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1v1 with the tiger. Ive studied the blade and a good folded steel katana can easily dismember a kitty cat

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You put way more thought into the question than I CBA to put into the answer.

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dogs

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Technically poisonous snakes are basically harmless here as long as you don't eat them since poisonous is defined as poisoning through ingestion while venomous is defined as through bite/sting/etc. >_>
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Mareen posted...

I feel like I have the greatest chance of survival with the snakes.

This; as long as I dont try to eat them, Ill be fine.

sorry, couldnt resist being that guy.

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Shark with the knife seems like the most likely to survive odds.

Tiger with katana #2

Everything else and you're dead with the bees and the hippos being the most lopsided.

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Tyranthraxus posted...

Everything else and you're dead with the bees and the hippos being the most lopsided.

With a 50 head start on the bees and being deemed safe if you can get outside a 5 mile perimeter, I think its fairly doable.

Hippos are a death wish, though.

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NoxObscuras posted...

I choose elephants vs an ACP. I probably won't kill them, but I feel like they'll run off if I fire a few shots.

That's my thinking too. I might fire it in their direction, but not directly at them.


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The Popo posted...

With a 50 head start on the bees and being deemed safe if you can get outside a 5 mile perimeter, I think its fairly doable.

Hippos are a death wish, though.

They're killer bees though. Maybe if they were just regular honeybees you'd get away easily.

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Tyranthraxus posted...

They're killer bees though. Maybe if they were just regular honeybees you'd get away easily.

They're unlikely to do anything unless you shoot fire first at them. Just because they're "killer bees" doesn't mean they're predatory. A lot of these are assuming that just because an animal can be dangerous to humans that it always is a threat.

The OP should be a bit more specific like:

1) You are in an open field 5 miles by 5 miles. You have just dropped a smoke bomb into the bees nest 2 metres away and they're all pissed off.

And for the sake of the elephants:

9) Savannah, 2 miles from ring out, you have 16 rounds total, 2 magazines. Elephants are 100' away with a calf stuck in a trap. They are distressed.

A couple more i'd edit:

6) You are 500 feet from shore, water is 20' deep. You are bleeding and must get help ASAP. Shark is 50' away and you can see its fin.

10) A narrow track with walls either side. it's 3 miles each way to escape and the path is covered with poisonous snakes in both directions. You are barefoot and wearing shorts. Watch your step!

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for scale^

No cranium in the world can withstand the full stroke of a sledgehammer.

This tool is normally used to demolish solid concrete with ease.

Tiger with the katana is the only one that seems doable, but even then its so risky it might end up with both of you dying unless you manage to fatally wound it on the first swing

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SSJPurple posted...

Tiger with the katana is the only one that seems doable, but even then its so risky it might end up with both of you dying unless you manage to fatally wound it on the first swing

You'd also need to incapacitate it in the first strike. A sword wound can be fatal without immediately incapacitating someone.

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PMarth2002 posted...

You'd also need to incapacitate it in the first strike. A sword wound can be fatal without immediately incapacitating someone.

Im not sure if its possible to incapacitate a tiger with a sword without being very seriously injured as well. If it pounces, I think youre fucked.

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BarbaricAvatar posted...

They're unlikely to do anything unless you shoot fire first at them. Just because they're "killer bees" doesn't mean they're predatory. A lot of these are assuming that just because an animal can be dangerous to humans that it always is a threat.

The OP should be a bit more specific like:

1) You are in an open field 5 miles by 5 miles. You have just dropped a smoke bomb into the bees nest 2 metres away and they're all pissed off.

And for the sake of the elephants:

9) Savannah, 2 miles from ring out, you have 16 rounds total, 2 magazines. Elephants are 100' away with a calf stuck in a trap. They are distressed.

A couple more i'd edit:

6) You are 500 feet from shore, water is 20' deep. You are bleeding and must get help ASAP. Shark is 50' away and you can see its fin.

10) A narrow track with walls either side. it's 3 miles each way to escape and the path is covered with poisonous snakes in both directions. You are barefoot and wearing shorts. Watch your step!

Fair. I was high. I meant to post that all the animals are fully aggroed. E.g. killer bees would smell the attack pheromones on you, the elephants remember you being a poacher and decided its time to take you out, the tiger is a man eater and is hungry, etc.

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are we going with the assumption that every one of these animals is out to murder you? not just scare you away or because they think you're a food source, they're out to kill and in the carnivores scenarios devour you?

1) you're not going to win that. i've played with a can of hair spray and a lighter, it makes a pretty shit flame thrower. maybe light the grass on fire and hope the smoke pacifies the bees...

2) tigers are masters at hunting humans in the bush, you're not even going to have the chance to swing.

3) i've never once loaded a musket, it would take me more then a minute. and you only get one shot. and there are multiple lions... maybe use the gun as a club, i dont know.

4) that sounds like a horrible way to die, it might be the worst out of the list.

5) on the off chance i even block the first attack all it'll do is leave me with a broken arm as it eats me.

6) maybe stab it in the eye or gills? you're going to get torn up because you're not going to stop the bite, but maybe you can fuck it up enough that it'll leave. most things dont want to lose an eye.

7) that would depend on how they attack. i remember walking my dogs one time when a pack of little rat terriers ran up on my toy poodle. there were 4 of them, one distracted the poodle from the front while the other 3 tried to take it from behind; he'd have gotten torn up if my basset hound hadn't barreled through the pack like they weren't even there... anyway, if they hunted you like that you're fucked.

8) you're probably screwed, hippos are territorial as fuck and are known to tank heavy rifle rounds.

9) charging elephant is fast as hell, unless you get lucky and hit it in the eye those bullets are just going to piss it off.

10) yeah you're probably going to die.

out of that list, i dont know, maybe the snakes or the shark? you're going to get fucked up either way.


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The Popo posted...

Im not sure if its possible to incapacitate a tiger with a sword without being very seriously injured as well. If it pounces, I think youre fucked.

You're in a jungle though and you can probably climb a tree. The tiger can probably reach you anyway but it'll be at a massive disadvantage. It also won't be able to pounce on you.

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I was surprised so many were picking tiger. There are an ambush predator. It will move silent. Hide. Wait for you to make a move. As your patience wears down it will circle. You will start trying to walk to leave, and as you do, if rushes you down.

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probably snakes as long as they act like real snakes and aren't super aggressive pack snakes.

I'm pretty sure a katana would be useless against a tiger. if you were close enough to get a swing anywhere that mattered you'd be dead anyway. unless you get a lucky stab right in the eye

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The Popo posted...

I think the most realistic chance of survival is in scenario 1, considering the head start. Bees can fly at like 15mph, and a human in good condition can sprint that for a bit. Bees dont have endurance to chase over long distances at that type of speed, so if you can just sprint for like 200-300 feet, you have a decent chance of putting enough distance between you and the swarm. After that, its a 5 mile jog to safety.

I saw a TV show years ago that explained what make "killer" bees so deadly. Basically, when their hive is threatened, a larger percentage of them(then regular bees) emerge to confront the threat. Also, they pursue the threat much farther than regular bees, I don't remember the exact distance, but it was a lot farther than a couple hundred feet.

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Ryven posted...

Bear with the shield. I feel like as long as you keep warding it off and deflecting it, it'll lose interest.

But if the topic means you have to fight and kill, the pit bulls.

A 25 lbs shield is outrageously heavy. You'll be exhausted in no time and easy to kill.

Snakes is probably the most livable provided they aren't like rushing you. Lions and musket is probably your next best bet as long as you can keep them from attacking you at once.

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mustachedmystic posted...

I saw a TV show years ago that explained what make "killer" bees so deadly. Basically, when their hive is threatened, a larger percentage of them(then regular bees) emerge to confront the threat. Also, they pursue the threat much farther than regular bees, I don't remember the exact distance, but it was a lot farther than a couple hundred feet.

i remember a show like that in the 90s when we were afraid of killer bees. I thought they would chase you for like 1-1.5 miles. As Im reading now, theyll chase you probably 1/4 mile to 1/2 mile.

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2 or 9

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mustachedmystic posted...

I saw a TV show years ago that explained what make "killer" bees so deadly. Basically, when their hive is threatened, a larger percentage of them(then regular bees) emerge to confront the threat. Also, they pursue the threat much farther than regular bees, I don't remember the exact distance, but it was a lot farther than a couple hundred feet.

They respond to threats within 40 yards but will pursue beyond that.

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Compsognathus posted...

A 25 lbs shield is outrageously heavy. You'll be exhausted in no time and easy to kill.

ancient shields got up to 40 pounds, but yeah I was going on the heavier side. This would like 7 gauge steel which is .18 thick, 2 across.


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KILBOTz posted...

i remember a show like that in the 90s when we were afraid of killer bees. I thought they would chase you for like 1-1.5 miles. As Im reading now, theyll chase you probably 1/4 mile to 1/2 mile.

Okay, the more I learn about killer bees, the more I'm glad that I didn't pick that option lol.

If they can fly at 15 mph like post #7 said, and they chase you for 1/4 of a mile, they're definitely catching up to a lot of people that try to run.

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The elephants won't even fight you

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other: gerbil with a toothpick

wait, do the animals have the weapons or do I?
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