Current Events > A zombie apocalypse would never last in the USA

(+) Yeah! (+)

Too many trigger happy people that are way too prepared for a situation like that.

It would be over so quickly that people would be sad that they didnt have more zombies to shoot.

People would call it a hoax, gather for a football game and the whole stadium would get eaten

Covid proved to me that humanity would definitely not survive a zombie apocalypse

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A zombie apocalypse usually has the problem of media not having any zombie movies to learn from so nobody ever aims for the head. Like in the first Resident Evil movie. We're far more prepared. In fact, we've imagined and therefore prepared counters for most fantasy situations. Zombies, aliens, sharknados.

A zombie apocalypse would not work anywhere other than small island nations.

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It would be purified

You're correct. With all the shootings involving live people, I can't imagine the apocalypse lasting long.

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Gwynevere posted...

People would call it a hoax, gather for a football game and the whole stadium would get eaten

Covid proved to me that humanity would definitely not survive a zombie apocalypse

This. Even the believers would still want their hair done and go out anyway.

Also, I guarantee people would fetishize the zombies and try to have sex with them or willingly become them.

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https://youtu.be/Qn8dMQJlDZE

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People would take selfies with the zombies.

Trigger happy people would be targeting other people. Whether it's to loot, for fun, etc. So then the police and military would be dispatched to deal with them, while the zombies keep increasing in numbers.

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Plus if they're like, Left 4 Dead or RE zombies, Jim Bob with the AR15 ain't stopping a witch or a Tyrant

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But for real a dude could just take a boat out and avoid the whole thing.

70% of the population would refuse the vaccine.

Payzmaykr posted...

70% of the population would refuse the vaccine.

No vaccine for zombies

Well look on the bright side the CDC already has A Zombie apocalypse plan

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If this last year has taught us anything, it's that the people who jerk themselves off the hardest about being prepared for apocalyptic scenarios are the least prepared for when they actually happen. They brag about their survival bunkers and mass water purifications systems, then when an actual pandemic hits they're rushing to go to Applebee's without a mask on and lick the tables to own the libs. The thing that would prevent a zombie pandemic is the fact that bites are a terrible way to sprea disease. It doesn't present the problem of asymptomatic spread, or the ability to identify the affected, or the ability to know whether or not you've been exposed. I mean, people get infected with rabies and you never hear about it starting outbreaks. If a zombie virus ever popped up that was airbone and infectious as COVID-19, it sure as shit wouldn't be Bubba with his "Come and Take It" shirt and his ar-15 with 8 dozen flashlights duct taped to it coming to your rescue. He'd be among the first people infected and coming for your brains.

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Remember that most of the country is split from other parts by one of two major mountain ranges. On the other end of things, there's also plenty of major rivers. Those would make it impossible to spread beyond a certain point. And once they stop having people they can eat, well. Either that or winter ends them. Problem solved.

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I'll be the dude who mentions that this is exactly what happens in the first zombie movie, Night of the Living Dead. After being trapped in a house surrounded by zombies all night, a wave of rednecks casually come through and kill all of them. Including the one survivor.

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rise of zombies is foretold in the bible right? or at least could be interpreted that way. something about the dead rising

so i think some religious fanatics would be more than happy to help them out

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BenBeckman posted...

A zombie apocalypse usually has the problem of media not having any zombie movies to learn from

this is the only scenario where I could possibly see a zombie apocalypse working out

Alternate reality where the concept of the living dead had never been thought of so nobody actually knew what to do about it.

gunplagirl posted...

Remember that most of the country is split from other parts by one of two major mountain ranges. On the other end of things, there's also plenty of major rivers. Those would make it impossible to spread beyond a certain point. And once they stop having people they can eat, well. Either that or winter ends them. Problem solved.

Unless it's a "we're all infected" scenario. Which is what would make people incredibly dangerous, especially when they're scared or give 0 fucks.

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Strider102 posted...

Unless it's a "we're all infected" scenario. Which is what would make people incredibly dangerous, especially when they're scared or give 0 fucks.

In that case there'd be plenty of doomers going around killing, then double tapping to prevent zombification.

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gunplagirl posted...

In that case there'd be plenty of doomers going around killing, then double tapping to prevent zombification.

As long as they remember to double tap.

Or intend to.

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We would run out of fuel and gas ext too soon. Its not worth fighting for. Best thing would be to head to the mountains and eat what you can find.

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Well the guns would get the job done eventually but the real trick is to get the small chainsaw and the three books that increase durability.


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non vaccinators will be the fucking cause for a zombie apocalypse

Strider102 posted...

As long as they remember to double tap.

Or intend to.

I used to play a lot of Killzone 3. Double taps were so natural. But getting melee killed while on the ground, that always pisses people off.

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If Donald Trump got infected and became a zombie we'd all be doomed since the GOP and his cult would all be jumping at the chance to let him bite and infect them.

Srk700 posted...

If Donald Trump got infected and became a zombie we'd all be doomed since the GOP and his cult would all be jumping at the chance to let him bite and infect them.

Constitution doesn't say the dead cannot serve more than 2 terms.

Srk700 posted...

If Donald Trump got infected and became a zombie we'd all be doomed since the GOP and his cult would all be jumping at the chance to let him bite and infect them.

Trump would never be infected.

Zombies do have some standards.

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" will just taste like spray tan"

I'd rather see us deal with gremlins.

If it was as contagious as covid then we would all be fucked.
If its only contagious with direct touch or bites, then we would stomp it out.
Hell, even 3rd world countries without reliable access to guns would probably stomp it out with sharpened spears.

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Too many people would hide that they were being bitten.

Or they'll say it's a hoax.

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Gwynevere posted...

People would call it a hoax, gather for a football game and the whole stadium would get eaten

Covid proved to me that humanity would definitely not survive a zombie apocalypse

Zombies and covid aren't comparable.

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Expected "The zombies would starve because Americans don't have brains" or something similar.

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FarFromFields posted...

Expected "The zombies would starve because Americans don't have brains" or something similar.

lol

we'd end up with a bunch of jackasses shooting other people for resources while the zombie plague spread uncontrolled.

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monkmith posted...

we'd end up with a bunch of jackasses shooting other people for resources while the zombie plague spread uncontrolled.

oh def

Nothing is completely uncontrollable

facts

Most of you would die and most of the deaths wouldn't be caused by the zombies.

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It wouldn't last because the standard zombie just isn't a very threatening enemy. They move very slowly, they are uncoordinated, they have literally zero intelligence to the point that if you can bait them into walking off a cliff every single one in sight will fall to their death because they can't learn from the rest, etc. They're human beings with every single thing that makes human being able to thrive taken away and replaced with better stamina and a method of creating more of themselves that isn't foolproof at getting past thick clothing.

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Ilishe posted...

Most of you would die and most of the deaths wouldn't be caused by the zombies.

im too pretty 2 die

*pushes over an old lady *

It never made sense. In the first two films of Romero's zombie trilogy, rednecks are capping off zombies like they were clay pigeons.

Then, in the third movie, zombies have inexplicably taken over the entire world.

WingsOfGood posted...

People would take selfies with the zombies.

new tiktok challenge

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Srk700 posted...

If Donald Trump got infected and became a zombie we'd all be doomed since the GOP and his cult would all be jumping at the chance to let him bite and infect them.

Dont zombies generally eat brains?

Hes pretty far down the zombie nutritional hierarchy. Like junk food.

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Depends on what sort of zombies we're even talking about here. If it's the traditional kind from the walking dead or something it wont last.

But they've been getting kind of buffed recently the last decade. And the kind from world war Z would run even us over hard.

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I don't care for fast zombies.