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cjs28 05/28/21 2:04:54 PM #1: |
I have a custom script running on my PC that I commissioned a computer science student back in college to write, where it constantly refreshes GameFAQs to check the status of NeonOctopus's account. If the script detects the status has changed to "Warned" or "Suspended", it will send a text alert / email (in case I don't have my phone) and I can immediately react.
This evening was an evening like any other. I was hanging out at my crib (street vernacular for "house") with some of my friends and we were watching Wednesday Night Football (we tape Monday Night Football and watch it on Wednesday) and drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade. Let me tell you boys, we were are completely Hard (slang for drinking many Mike's Hard Lemonades) the entire time. I looked over at my buddy and I could see he had a Hard one right in the front of his pants! I thought that was funny because normally we put them on coasters on the table. I realized my own Mike's Hard was getting low and I said to my buddy "hey, can you toss me another Hard one?" He informed me that we were all out and I'd have to get more Mike's Hards. I figured I could just have a swig of his and asked if I could put my mouth on his Hard one. He laughed, because we were both drunk and would normally never do this (because of germs; sharing a drink is disgusting), but eventually he gave in. I grabbed the smooth shaft of the bottle and just as I was about to put it in my mouth, my phone rang. NeonOctopus was Warned. I howled. I let out a howl so loud and piercing that it woke up my son. I normally make him go to bed on Wednesday nights at 5:30pm partially because I don't want him to see me getting Hard with other men (the kid doesn't need to be exposed to heavy drinking at his age) and also because he's an annoying little shit and is usually asking questions about football, as if he were a nerd or something. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I didn't know what to do. I kept refreshing the GameFAQs page, hoping that this was some kind of mistake. Maybe some moderator was intending to remove a post praising the KKK but had accidentally clicked on the innocent NeonOctopus link. Alas, this was not the case. By this point, my friends were all visibly upset and I noticed they were trying to leave, even though we were only part of the way through the game. "No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was inconsolable. I began thrashing about, throwing my collection of decorative throwing knives all over the crib (apartment). One knife struck my Native American friend, Big Bear Jim, in the neck. Blood gashed from his open wound, staining the carpet a deep red and splashing the walls. A sickly iron scent loomed in the air as Death claimed Big Bear Jim. My son knew he needed to act quick. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small crucifix. "Dad!" He yelled. "Remember how Christ died for your sins? Well, NeonOctopus did the same thing. He will live in our hearts forever, and hopefully in 3 days he will rise again from the depths of purgatory and post wonderful stories about titties on CE again." At that moment, I knew my son was right. My rage quelled. I tossed Big Bear Jim's corpse into the dumpster and put my son into the Punishment Closet, as he had broken one of my most important rules of the house (never make eye contact with me). Anyway, I really just miss NeonOctopus and I think the mods should reconsider his suspension. tl;dr - free NeonOctopus --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/28/21 2:05:23 PM #2: |
I was warned for that topic about certain things you've done to video games in your youth >_______>
--- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Ps2Twilight 05/28/21 2:05:49 PM #3: |
lol
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R1masher 05/28/21 2:05:57 PM #4: |
Who?
--- R1R1R1R1R1R1 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/28/21 2:06:25 PM #5: |
R1masher posted...
Who?Some rando who just really loves boobs --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Pandamonic 05/28/21 2:08:14 PM #6: |
Again >_>
--- ...it's a very rare incantation to be sure. Only used in lost ancient arts and magics such as wrestling... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/28/21 2:09:07 PM #7: |
Pandamonic posted...
Again >_>Again >_> Ps2Twilight posted... lolI can't function in society unless I'm within the comfort of my cell in horny jail. I've been in there too long --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Turbam 05/28/21 2:09:18 PM #8: |
cjs28 posted...
I was warned for that topic about certain things you've done to video games in your youth >_______>For me, it was Saria. Don't tag me, I was also ten at the time --- ~snip (V)_(;,;)_(V) snip~ I'm just one man! Whoa! Well, I'm a one man band! https://imgur.com/p9Xvjvs ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/28/21 2:10:04 PM #9: |
Turbam posted...
For me, it was Saria.Bruh wut Adult Malon was way hotter anyway >_> She had massive jugs that had all the Lon Lon Milk in them --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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TheGoldenEel 05/28/21 2:10:16 PM #10: |
cjs28 posted...
Blood gashed from his open wound, staining the carpet a deep red and splashing the wallsMissed opportunity --- BLACK LIVES MATTER Games: http://backloggery.com/wrldindstries302 \\ Music: http://www.last.fm/user/DrMorberg/ ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Goatsensation 05/28/21 2:10:44 PM #11: |
In Dungeon Keeper 2 I'd recruit 15 or so Dark Mistresses in my torture chamber and drop them all at once on some poor knight and pretend it was me >_>
--- hi I'm goatthief if I wasn't obvious ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/28/21 2:10:51 PM #12: |
TheGoldenEel posted...
Missed opportunityDamn, I'll add the old CE fad in next time >_> --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Turbam 05/28/21 2:11:00 PM #13: |
cjs28 posted...
Bruh wutI've always had a weakness for the childhood friend storyline I was all about Cremia though --- ~snip (V)_(;,;)_(V) snip~ I'm just one man! Whoa! Well, I'm a one man band! https://imgur.com/p9Xvjvs ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/28/21 2:11:08 PM #14: |
Goatsensation posted...
In Dungeon Keeper 2 I'd recruit 15 or so Dark Mistresses in my torture chamber and drop them all at once on some poor knight and pretend it was me >_>Nice --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DB_Insider 05/28/21 2:11:23 PM #15: |
The mods agreed to unwarned u if u give me the "Resident Titties Meister" title
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cjs28 05/28/21 2:11:56 PM #16: |
DB_Insider posted...
The mods agreed to unwarned u if u give me the "Resident Titties Meister" titleYou'll have to take it from my cold dead hands! --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/28/21 3:45:09 PM #17: |
Turbam posted...
I was all about Cremia thoughCremia shoving her tits in your face for protecting her from the Gorman bros. was the best thing ever. I wish more Zelda games had that as a reward >_> --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/28/21 5:25:59 PM #18: |
Should we make this the secret sequel topic? >__>
--- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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nfearurspecimn 05/28/21 5:28:01 PM #19: |
prude mods smh
--- Wake up. You have to wake up. *currently a preta/hungry ghost* Dai Grepher: I was wrong. My entire theory is incorrect. Zero Mission IS a remake of Metroid. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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#20 | Post #20 was unavailable or deleted. |
littlebro07 05/28/21 5:32:57 PM #21: |
Turbam posted...
Cremia always pronounced this as Cream ya Cremia: hi, Im Cremia Link: oh Ill cream ya, alright --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Spidey5 05/28/21 5:35:13 PM #22: |
Who would you pick for warden of horny jail?
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Turbam 05/28/21 5:41:56 PM #23: |
cjs28 posted...
Cremia shoving her tits in your face for protecting her from the Gorman bros. was the best thing ever. I wish more Zelda games had that as a reward >_>It's actually a little sad, because that's most likely the first time that Hero of Time Link was ever hugged. He lived an awful life. littlebro07 posted... always pronounced this as Cream yaBASED! --- ~snip (V)_(;,;)_(V) snip~ I'm just one man! Whoa! Well, I'm a one man band! https://imgur.com/p9Xvjvs ... Copied to Clipboard!
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ChrisTaka 05/28/21 5:42:56 PM #24: |
Did Neon post hentai again?
--- If Corona is so bad why not just make it illegal? *thinking emoji* ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Webmaster4531 05/28/21 5:43:02 PM #25: |
Stop harassing NeonOctopus
--- Ad Hominem. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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nfearurspecimn 05/28/21 5:46:00 PM #26: |
ChrisTaka posted...
Did Neon post hentai again?Nobody ever knows in these things --- Wake up. You have to wake up. *currently a preta/hungry ghost* Dai Grepher: I was wrong. My entire theory is incorrect. Zero Mission IS a remake of Metroid. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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#27 | Post #27 was unavailable or deleted. |
cjs28 05/28/21 6:13:03 PM #28: |
Spidey5 posted...
Who would you pick for warden of horny jail?Ayame Kajo from Shimoneta >_> --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/28/21 6:13:27 PM #29: |
ChrisTaka posted...
Did Neon post hentai again? cjs28 posted... I was warned for that topic about certain things you've done to video games in your youth >_______> --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/28/21 6:15:59 PM #30: |
littlebro07 posted...
always pronounced this as Cream yaLMAO --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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ChrisTaka 05/28/21 6:16:15 PM #31: |
Yeah I realized by looking at your sig lol
--- If Corona is so bad why not just make it illegal? *thinking emoji* ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/29/21 8:01:19 AM #32: |
No regrets doing it to Sheena
--- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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#33 | Post #33 was unavailable or deleted. |
cjs28 05/29/21 9:14:30 AM #34: |
Crono99 posted...
I was in a coffee shop running away from home when I heard the news. Our hero, NeonOctopus, warned. Vanished into thin air! My dad must have been his biggest fan. I knew how sad he'd be. Heck, we all were that day. Crono I said to myself, what are you thinking? I went running straight back home. We sat up talking about NeonOctopus all night. My dad and I never talked so much. Whoa... Didn't mean to reminisce, folks.lmao I'm glad my warning could help rekindle a relationship --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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cjs28 05/29/21 4:02:11 PM #35: |
cjs28 posted...
Should we make this the secret sequel topic? >__> --- NeonOctopus's Alt >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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