Current Events > Incel culture was the worst thing to happen to grown men

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JokingVulture posted...

All this stuff about what every woman or most women want is such baseless bullshit.

I really don't get how people get like this other than having toxic personalities to begin with.

I'm overweight, I'm mentally and physically disabled, I'm not good looking, I've never had a job, I'm not an assertive dominant type of person. Yet I've never struggled to get attention from women and form relationships. And no my standards aren't low. I've got by on having a lot of empathy and a caring nature. I've got fairly weird interests and passions but it hasn't caused any issues.

Came to say something similar.
I'm overweight, I'm an emotional wreck, I'm horribly irresponsible, I'm awkward, and I'm only moderately attractive. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22, and I was on track to probably become an incel back then -- but nowadays I haven't struggled much.

Probably aren't that fat then.

But ok then, how did you meet your relationship partners?

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joe40001 posted...

Probably aren't that fat then.

But ok then, how did you meet your relationship partners?

I'm 6'1'' and I've only ever been sub 210# once as long as I've been this height. Currently I'm like 260#.
I met the first girl I ever kissed on an online photo rating forum, my second was two grades beneath me at my High School and added me on Myspace randomly. Didn't have sex with either.
Spent my late teens/early twenties talking to chicks online and getting them to GNOC. It wasn't healthy, but it was the only way I could feed into my insecurities and feeling undesirable to women. Eventually met my dream girl on an online forum at around 21 or 22 and dated her long distance, moved to AZ, and lost my virginity.
After dating her for like 4 years we broke up. I went back to school, found some new friend groups, and started dating locally through OKC. Had two different girlfriends through there over the years, and went on plenty of other dates, too.
Then got into another 4 year relationship and got a place together with someone I met on POF. We broke up, I went on some adult dating sites/was a regular on Craigslist casual encounters, etc. and had sex with lots of different women -- one I eventually started dating and I moved out here to MI to be with her after my ex was kicking me out.

Everyone I dated up until my current girlfriend I didn't immediately have sex with, and I won them over by having common interests, being a decent conversationalist, and not being overly abrasive. My current I literally met up with for sex before really knowing her - but now I realize we do have a ton in common.

I would be an incel if I were straight.

joe40001 posted...

Probably aren't that fat then.

But ok then, how did you meet your relationship partners?

Weird how the dude trying to say that incels are support group is so skeptical over a post like that.

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Solid Snake07 posted...

I don't fully blame them tbh. Our culture gives young men unrealistic expectations when it comes to sex and women and makes them feel inferior for not living up to those expectations.

Then to add insult to injury they can't even turn on the tv without having sex thrown in their face. It's not exacly surprising to me that they end up feeling like everyone else must be having sex besides them which causes a building resentment because of it.

Yeah, but theres no reason to take it on as an identity.

Darmik posted...

Weird how the dude trying to say that incels are support group is so skeptical over a post like that.

So are you pulling the ripcord on trying to defend anything you've said?

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Payzmaykr posted...

Yeah, but theres no reason to take it on as an identity.

They don't take misery on as an identity, it finds them quite organically.

They can become extremely miserable, bitter, self-hating, and lonely without once choosing it as an identity.

Feel like that for some years and you are going to look for others who feel the same.

It seems like some of you think they are choosing this in some way.

I mean everybody with mental issues can to some extent choose to fight them or embrace them, but that's not the same thing as perfectly healthy people being like "welp, I feel like being hopeless and alone forever, let's try that!"

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joe40001 posted...

So are you pulling the ripcord on trying to defend anything you've said?

I'm done wasting my time talking in circles.

I never once said any of these people don't deserve sympathy and you know that. Which is why you keep trying to spin everything I'm saying into meaning something else. I said incel is a toxic label, group and community. Which you still have not once managed to find any proof that says otherwise. I said nothing about the individuals who are stuck in that pit of misery.

Your post being in disbelief that the guy can't be fat because he had sex shows how warped your views are on this sort of stuff. The fact that you still think a diagnosis like alcoholism is in any way comparable to incels shows how naive you are over why this label exists. It's a waste of time saying anything else to you about it.
joe40001 posted...

I mean everybody with mental issues can to some extent choose to fight them or embrace them, but that's not the same thing as perfectly healthy people being like "welp, I feel like being hopeless and alone forever, let's try that!"

Here's you still in denial about incel not being about sex and is instead about being lonely. Again misrepresenting what he said.

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Darmik posted...

I'm done wasting my time talking in circles.

I never once said any of these people don't deserve sympathy and you know that.

Then, here's you're easiest freebie of all time:
Just once, say that they do. Say "Incels deserve to be seen as humans worthy of empathy"

Just once, and I will go "my bad, you were right about that, and about that I was wrong."

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People who think they are incels deserve to be seen as humans worthy of empathy.

I do not accept incels as a serious term or label like you do and think anyone who uses the label in a serious manner is perpetuating negative beliefs and behavior.

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Darmik posted...

People who think they are incels deserve to be seen as humans worthy of empathy.

I do not accept incels as a serious term or label like you do and think anyone who uses the label in a serious manner is perpetuating negative beliefs and behavior.

Well if we take "incel" to be "somebody who identifies as an incel" then you said the same thing.

Thank you. I honestly did not expect you to do it. And yes, you were right and I was wrong in that regard. I accused you of not believing they were humans worthy of empathy because I truly thought that was your stance, and I was absolutely wrong about that. I apologize.

I am happy you believe that, and I am happy we agree about that.

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