Current Events > Straight men are having sex with gay men more and more :O

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ZannoL
05/17/21 7:42:41 PM
#1:


Are you surprised that this is increasing in popularity? Horny straight men who are not getting enough sex from their female partners are turning to gay men for sex.


https://theconversation.com/why-some-straight-men-have-sex-with-other-men-160140

https://www.vice.com/en/article/z3xe7w/straight-men-on-men-gay-sex-identity-gender

Sexual identities and sexual behaviours dont always match because sexuality is multidimensional. Many people recognize sexual fluidity, and some even identify as mostly straight.

Fewer people know that some men and women have same-sex encounters, yet nonetheless perceive themselves as exclusively straight. And these people are not necessarily closeted gays, lesbians or bisexuals.

When a closeted gay or bisexual man has sex with another man, he views that sex as reflecting his secret identity. He is not open about that identity, likely because he fears discrimination. When a straight man has sex with another man, however, he views himself as straight despite his sex with men.

In my book, Still Straight: Sexual Flexibility among White Men in Rural America, I investigate why some men who identify as straight have sex with other men. Large nationally representative surveys show that hundreds of thousands of straight American men have had sex with two or more other men. This finding represents a disconnect between identity and behaviour, and researchers from around the world - in the United States, Australia and the U.K. - have studied this topic.

It involves two related but separate issues: first, why men identify as straight if they have sex with other men, and second, why straight men would have sex with other men in the first place.

As part of my research, I spoke with 60 straight men who have sex with other men, and specifically looked at men in rural areas and small towns. The majority of men I interviewed were primarily attracted to women, not men. So why would they have sex with other men?

My findings revealed several reasons as to why straight men have sex with other men. Several men explained that their marriages did not have as much sex as they wanted, and while they wanted to remain married, they also wanted to have more sex. Extramarital sex with men, to them, helped relieve their sexual needs without threatening their marriages.

Tom, a 59-year-old from Washington, explained: I kind of think of it as, Im married to a nun. He continued: For me, being romantic and emotional is more cheating than just having sex. And Ryan, a 60-year-old from Illinois, felt similarly. He said: Even when I have an encounter now, Im not cheating on her. I wouldnt give up her for that.

These men felt as though extramarital sex with women would negatively affect their marriages, whereas extramarital sex with men was not as much of an issue.

In order to answer why men would identify as straight despite having sex with other men, its important to know that sexual identities indicate how people perceive the sexual and nonsexualaspects of their lives. Connor, a 43-year-old from Oregon, noted:

I think theres a definite disconnect between gay and homosexual. Theres the homosexual community, which isnt a community, theres the homosexual proclivity, and then the gay community. Its like you can be an athlete without being a jock. And you can be homosexual without being gay, or into all of it. It just becomes so politically charged now.

The men I talked to identified as straight because they felt that this identity best reflected their romantic relationships with women, their connections to heterosexual communities or the way they understood their masculinity. Straight identification also, of course, meant that they avoided discrimination. They felt that sex with men was irrelevant to their identities given every other part of their lives.

Living in small towns and in more rural settings also shaped how the men perceived themselves. Larry, 37, from Wyoming explained: I would say straight because that best suits our cultural norms around here. Most of the men I talked to were happy with their lives and identities, and they did not want to identify as gay or bisexual not when people asked them, and not to themselves.

It may come as a surprise, but internalized homophobia was not a major reason the men I spoke to identified as straight. Most supported equal legal rights for lesbians, gays and bisexuals. Other research also shows that, on average, straight men who have sex with men are not any more homophobic than other straight men. Additionally, while most men knew bisexual is a valid identity, they felt that bisexual did not describe their identity because they were only romantically interested in women.

Many factors beyond sexual attractions or behaviours shape sexual identification, including social contexts, romantic relationships and beliefs about masculinity and femininity, among others. Straight men who have sex with other men are not necessarily closeted, because they do genuinely see themselves as heterosexual.

Sexual encounters with men simply do not affect how they perceive their identity.





Vote and discuss.
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The Trent
05/17/21 7:43:14 PM
#2:


makes sense, I fucked 3 dudes last week on accident

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ZannoL
05/17/21 7:43:33 PM
#3:


The Trent posted...
makes sense, I fucked 3 dudes last week on accident
Damn
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KStateKing17
05/17/21 7:44:44 PM
#4:


Taking straight husbands black cherry is my specialty.

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ZannoL
05/17/21 7:45:05 PM
#5:


KStateKing17 posted...
Taking straight husbands black cherry is my specialty.

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The Trent
05/17/21 7:45:10 PM
#6:


Wow about to be four

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Guide
05/17/21 7:45:12 PM
#7:


Not sure how I feel about sexual identities vs just being in denial about being bi/gay.

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Crescente
05/17/21 7:47:05 PM
#8:


Whelp, I guess i'm going to have to have sex with men since it's straight to do so.
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coh
05/17/21 7:47:33 PM
#9:


Straight
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Fenrimis
05/17/21 7:47:46 PM
#10:


Then they arent straight

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DestroyerOfEvil
05/17/21 7:47:51 PM
#11:


Im a straight white male who did oral stuff with a feminine gay 18 year old black boy.

Im still 100% straight.
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BobbyBrownLove
05/17/21 7:48:01 PM
#12:


Yeah, im not gay, im just fucking them. Its not gay if the balls dont touch.

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BobbyBrownLove
05/17/21 7:48:44 PM
#13:


DestroyerOfEvil posted...
Im a straight white male who did oral stuff with a feminine gay 18 year old black boy.

Im still 100% straight.

Yeah, oral doesnt count. I take the whole hog down the throat, and still super straight.

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A Mod/Admin said on 12/23/2020 9:10:40 PM:
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Guide
05/17/21 7:48:52 PM
#14:


DestroyerOfEvil posted...
Im a straight white male who did oral stuff with a feminine gay 18 year old black boy.

Im still 100% straight.

Oh, @livinglegend ?

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The Trent
05/17/21 7:49:16 PM
#15:


Is it still straight if you toss his salad

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David1988
05/17/21 7:49:20 PM
#16:


When I was at my peak horniness I thought about having sex with men, never went through with it though

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BobbyBrownLove
05/17/21 7:50:38 PM
#17:


The Trent posted...
Is it still straight if you toss his salad

Yeah, fecal play doesnt count either. Still straight.

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A Mod/Admin said on 12/23/2020 9:10:40 PM:
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EnterTheTekken
05/17/21 7:51:15 PM
#18:


Top or bottom?

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The Trent
05/17/21 7:51:29 PM
#19:


Hell yeah
What if you accidentally say I love you but it comes out a little mumbly and you don't really know if he heard it because no one acknowledged it

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IfGodCouldDie
05/17/21 7:53:17 PM
#20:


A hole is a hole, and it's only gay if you're gay.

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Boop Trooper reporting for duty.
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ultramat
05/17/21 7:55:38 PM
#21:


I used to be a straight man, turns out I was just a vagina fetishist

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ZannoL
05/17/21 7:56:06 PM
#22:


David1988 posted...
When I was at my peak horniness I thought about having sex with men, never went through with it though
During undergrad way back in 2011, one of my straight friends asked me if I could give him a bj. He was horny and buzzed. Obviously I said no.

We still laugh about that moment today.
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Nemu
05/17/21 7:56:34 PM
#23:


The mental gymnastics behind being comfortable enough to openly fuck a dude but still have some stigma where you need to be straight will never cease to be hilarious.
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Lost_All_Senses
05/17/21 7:58:15 PM
#24:


The Trent posted...
makes sense, I fucked 3 dudes last week on accident

I was one those dudes. Which was also by accident. I thought we were going to the back to pass around a spliff. Then my anxiety kicked in when I realized my mistake and was too embarrassed to just not go along with everything we did

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#25
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#26
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Guide
05/17/21 8:02:27 PM
#27:


Lost_All_Senses posted...
I was one those dudes. Which was also by accident. I thought we were going to the back to pass around a spliff. Then my anxiety kicked in when I realized my mistake and was too embarrassed to just not go along with everything we did


https://i.imgur.com/VKxhB.jpeg

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#28
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Guide
05/17/21 8:03:16 PM
#29:


BabyRoxann posted...
If a guy fucks an apple pie, does it mean hes sexually attracted to the pie?

No. So what you fuck doesnt determine your sexual identity.

How do you know he's not sexually attracted to the pie?

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Vicious_Dios
05/17/21 8:04:26 PM
#30:


Damn, tc is REALLY reaching with this one.

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ZannoL
05/17/21 8:06:17 PM
#31:


BabyRoxann posted...
If a guy fucks an apple pie, does it mean hes sexually attracted to the pie?

No. So what you fuck doesnt determine your sexual identity.

yallre welcome
Youre not wrong.

If a gay guy has sex with a woman, no one would claim that man is secretly straight. But the minute a straight guy has sex with another man, some people are quick to label him secretly gay. Its dumb.
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MachineJaipur
05/17/21 8:07:28 PM
#32:


Ahole is a hole so this checks
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#33
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nfearurspecimn
05/17/21 8:08:17 PM
#34:


Guide posted...
just being in denial about being bi/gay.

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Dai Grepher: I was wrong. My entire theory is incorrect. Zero Mission IS a remake of Metroid.
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Guide
05/17/21 8:08:26 PM
#35:


BabyRoxann posted...
Ask him?

You made the claim that he wasn't attracted to the pie, not me.

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LordMarshal
05/17/21 8:09:13 PM
#36:


This like all these 100% non-racist people saying racist stuff. What a phenomenon!

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Guide
05/17/21 8:09:20 PM
#37:


ZannoL posted...
Youre not wrong.

If a gay guy has sex with a woman, no one would claim that man is secretly straight. But the minute a straight guy has sex with another man, some people are quick to label him secretly gay. Its dumb.

The -why- behind it is a big factor. Also, many would claim that the guy is at least partially bi.

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The Trent
05/17/21 8:09:25 PM
#38:


The Trent posted...
Hell yeah
What if you accidentally say I love you but it comes out a little mumbly and you don't really know if he heard it because no one acknowledged it

guys my friend really needs an answer to this

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i swear to God most of y'all cats just don't know The Trent
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nfearurspecimn
05/17/21 8:09:46 PM
#39:


maybe the pretending to be in the closet is a new fetish for gay men

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Dai Grepher: I was wrong. My entire theory is incorrect. Zero Mission IS a remake of Metroid.
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Choco
05/17/21 8:09:46 PM
#40:


ZannoL posted...
Youre not wrong.

If a gay guy has sex with a woman, no one would claim that man is secretly straight. But the minute a straight guy has sex with another man, some people are quick to label him secretly gay. Its dumb.
bisexuality exists and anyone who cannot comprehend that is a fucking idiot

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The Trent
05/17/21 8:10:04 PM
#41:


Lost_All_Senses posted...
I was one those dudes. Which was also by accident. I thought we were going to the back to pass around a spliff. Then my anxiety kicked in when I realized my mistake and was too embarrassed to just not go along with everything we did

these things are happening more and more
it used to be we smoked fools on the bball court, now we smoke penises on the bball court

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i swear to God most of y'all cats just don't know The Trent
you barely know yourself so i guess most of y'all should be offended
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#42
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Guide
05/17/21 8:11:45 PM
#43:


BabyRoxann posted...
Youre asking the question. Just ask another. To the guy

Yes, I'm asking you, though. You made an nonsensical argument, now you're dodging it.

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David1988
05/17/21 8:13:00 PM
#44:


Stuff like this is why 2 guys shouldnt be alone in a room together after a certain age

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Awards
05/17/21 8:16:03 PM
#45:


My girlfriend loves gay male porn. Its the only porn she watches.
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Nemu
05/17/21 8:16:28 PM
#46:


ZannoL posted...
Youre not wrong.

If a gay guy has sex with a woman, no one would claim that man is secretly straight. But the minute a straight guy has sex with another man, some people are quick to label him secretly gay. Its dumb.
If one is having sex for either monetary gain or reasons related to what they consider protecting themselves, that takes sexuality out of it for the most part. Openly gay men openly having sex with women while still claiming to be completely gay would be the parallel to this scenario.
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Jagr_68
05/17/21 8:16:59 PM
#47:


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#48
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Turbam
05/17/21 8:17:26 PM
#49:


Fellas, they did it. They really went and did it.

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skermac
05/17/21 8:18:24 PM
#50:


Not me i prefer solo

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