Current Events > Do you avoid contact with one or both of your parents?

(+) Yeah! (+)

And what do you do to avoid contact?

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Yeah, I stay away from both parents and have since 15. Haven't seen my father in almost a decade, nor spoken to him. Apparently he is pretty close to death now.

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CalypsoDoom posted...

no but almost had to go nc with my mom

If you're interested in sharing I'd be curious to hear why lol

That's basically what I did with my mom

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one's dead so that's easy to avoid, the other is an overbearing conspiracy believing religious nut, also easy to avoid

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I send an email to my dad on christmas/his birthday. I havn't spoken with my mom in 4 years, and that was only due to us both being at my grandmothers funeral. Not counting that, it's been about 7 years since I had a conversation with her.

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No. I visit my mother in Mexico at least once a year. She's all alone since her husband died. My biological dad died just one year before and I keep his ashes in my game room.

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Sometimes my dad will text me motivational stuff that I ignore. Today he sent me a Joel Osteen vid, lol

I also meant to vote for the middle option but accidentally picked the top one

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Kind of, I guess. Not because it's them, I just don't make eye contact with many people. I'm doing better since I've been forcing it at work, but generally I find something to fidget with(and thus look at) or talk to the ground.

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DeadlyNinjaBees posted...

Yeah, I stay away from both parents and have since 15. Haven't seen my father in almost a decade, nor spoken to him. Apparently he is pretty close to death now.

I'm sorry you haven't had a good relationship with them. you should visit him and patch things up. Or at least it can give you closure.

I feel so bad for so many people here who don't talk to their parents. I was lucky enough to have both parents, and they loved me and supported me every way they can the best they could with all they knee. I understand many people had abusive parents, and I get that's why you don't talk to them anymore.

I just didn't spend enough time with my parents, especially my dad who passed away in late March. he wasn't perfect, but who is? he supported me in every way. I had resentment for the smallest things which in the end, didn't matter at all. he was a good person and i regret mistreating him and ignoring him. I hope that you guys can reconcile with your parents or be on good terms with them.
if any of you guys had decent parents, spend as much time as you can with them and take care of them. You never know what will happen. my dad was taken by cancer.

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MedeaLysistrata posted...

Sometimes my dad will text me motivational stuff that I ignore. Today he sent me a Joel Osteen vid, lol

I also meant to vote for the middle option but accidentally picked the top one

has he treated you well or had he had a not so good relationship and he's trying to patch things up and try? Don't regret it like me. You're gonna miss all those times he reached out to you and you ignored him.

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Arcanine2009 posted...

I'm sorry you haven't had a good relationship with them. you should visit him and patch things up. Or at least it can give you closure.

I'll never understand people who give this advice. There's usually good reason some of us keep away from our parents and want nothing to do with them.

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I'LL BE YOUR NEW MOM CE

-- I LOVE YOU, DO WELL lN SCHOOL

P.S.

TAKE OUT THE TRASH PLEASE


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We keep in touch frequently. They're getting up there in age, but are living their good lives out in the country.

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pogo_rabid posted...

I'll never understand people who give this advice. There's usually good reason some of us keep away from our parents and want nothing to do with them.

And closure is just a different way of saying Acceptance

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Arcanine2009 posted...

has he treated you well or had he had a not so good relationship and he's trying to patch things up and try? Don't regret it like me. You're gonna miss all those times he reached out to you and you ignored him.

I don't ignore him all the time, just when he sends me dumb shit like Joel Osteen. If he asks me how I'm doing I'll respond. I don't really contact him much still.

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SSJKirby posted...

And closure is just a different way of saying Acceptance

The closure is when we cut them out of our lives. What you're suggesting is reopening that door.

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pogo_rabid posted...

The closure is when we cut them out of our lives. What you're suggesting is reopening that door.

I meant acceptance of your own situation, that doesn't need to involve anyone but yourself.

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People with amazing relationships with their parents don't understand that some people feel bad after interacting with their parents and that interacting with them generally is bad for their health.

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SSJKirby posted...

I meant acceptance of your own situation, that doesn't need to involve anyone but yourself.

I have no idea what you're talking about, and i'm convinced you don't either.

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pogo_rabid posted...

I'll never understand people who give this advice. There's usually good reason some of us keep away from our parents and want nothing to do with them.

did you not read the rest of my post? I said I get that people have abusive parents. I DO think they if they are dying, you should visit them regardless, you can get some kind of closure and maybe they can apologize for what they have done, although waiting till death is ehh. But that's your choice. just my two cents

Joker98 posted...

People with amazing relationships with their parents don't understand that some people feel bad after interacting with their parents and that interacting with them generally is bad for their health.

I didn't have amazing relationships with parents. There are some things I couldn't take to my parents about that a lot of americans could freely. so many things I had to learn on my own. I had some resentment too with my dad, but in the grand scheme of things it didn't matter

I wasn't super close to them and was in my own world. But I was lucky enough that they treated me well and they were good people. they were annoying at times, but who isnt't.

I just think that death or near death does change a lot of things. You never expect what will happen after. How you feel about them. I knew I would regret some things already though. I do think if parents are trying to change for the better, it's worth some contact or reconcilation. but whatever. it's up to you

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Arcanine2009 posted...

did you not read the rest of my post? I said I get that people have abusive parents. I DO think they if they are dying, you should visit them regardless, you can get some kind of closure and maybe they can apologize for what they have done, although waiting till death is ehh. But that's your choice. just my two cents

And i'll repeat what I said before. The closure is when you cut them out of your life. Reopening the door is only going to open up old wounds and do nothing positive. Fuck em dude. Once they're out of your life, their time is over and there it's a net negative throw away the progress you've made by reinviting them back into your situation.

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Joker98 posted...

People with amazing relationships with their parents don't understand that some people feel bad after interacting with their parents and that interacting with them generally is bad for their health.

Very true

The "but they're FAMILY" crowd will never understand, tbh

Arcanine2009 posted...

I just think that death or near death does change a lot of things.

Over the last few years, my dad has almost died twice. He was on what he thought would be his deathbed. In both instances, he told my mom he loved her, and left no such message for me.

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