Current Events > Why are dudes so desperate for sex?

(+) Yeah! (+)

KogaSteelfang posted...

It feels like if I could succeed once, lose the virgin label, and get a real view of what sex actually is, that I could stop caring about it so much. That I'd be more comfortable and confident, maybe with a bit of a self esteem boost too. I know it's not a cure, and I definitely wouldn't expect it to fix anything, but it certainly feels like it could alleviate some stress.

Sex won't be your salvation.

KogaSteelfang posted...

I just want to experience it once in my life. I know it's stupid, but missing out on that part of life just adds to my other issues. Like they feed each other. I'm not desperate enough to pay for it, or take advantage of someone to get it, but at this point it feels like it'd go a long way in helping me get a grip on a bad mental state.

Being raised to believe you're unlovable, and that no one would ever want you, and that you're worthless sucks on it's own. Then to be biologically driven to want that connection with someone, only to be proven that everything you've been told was right all along. It hurts, and it feeds low confidence and self esteem. Depression and anxiety simply amplify those feelings further.

It feels like if I could succeed once, lose the virgin label, and get a real view of what sex actually is, that I could stop caring about it so much. That I'd be more comfortable and confident, maybe with a bit of a self esteem boost too. I know it's not a cure, and I definitely wouldn't expect it to fix anything, but it certainly feels like it could alleviate some stress.

Too bad I'm such a loser though.

If you care about it that much, it's time to get a goddamn hooker.

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Shadowplay posted...

If you care about it that much, it's time to get a goddamn hooker.

This, get over yourself and pay for it bro. It's not that big of a deal, and it'll get the monkey off your back.

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KogaSteelfang posted...

I'm not desperate enough to pay for it

Honestly the "fuck it, yolo" attitude of you paying for it will help your confidence moreso than the sex itself. It clearly is a huge load on your consciousness so I think it's worth paying for it just to move on with your life and have some fun.

I paid for it for my first time when I was like 25 and I don't regret it whatsoever. It was overseas where it was legal and she was smoking hot. I'm much more confident now and have slept with multiple women. I'm by no means Mr Perfect; far from it. I still have my own issues and things I'm working on. But it was nice to get it over with and it helps you look forward for the next time and work towards being more confident. We all have different paths, just walk yours and it's ok that it's not the same path as others.

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Conflict posted...

People that desperate want companionship. A hooker is obviously not going to solve his problems when he feels unwanted and unattractive to the opposite sex

Really you guys need to phase out this advice completely because it's very stupid and has never actually helped anyone with their insecurities ever

what if its like a live in hooker? one that he pays his cheque too every month and she lives with him and watches netflix and moans about how little he makes and then sleeps with him once a month?

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Conflict posted...

People that desperate want companionship. A hooker is obviously not going to solve his problems when he feels unwanted and unattractive to the opposite sex

Really you guys need to phase out this advice completely because it's very stupid and has never actually helped anyone with their insecurities ever

This honestly. My issue is that I don't feel anyone could ever want to be with me. So, the advice of paying someone to be with me kind of defeats the purpose. Besides, the idea of renting someone else's body to use is very off putting to me. I don't think I could ever do that and not just feel more disgust towards myself.

Though, like I said, i'm aware that I most likely have an unrealistic idea of what sex actually is/means. So, I'd just like to experience it so I'd know what it really is that I'm stressing over. Afterwards, I could hopefully just stop caring about it. Besides, it's not even the sex anyway, it's the stuff that leads to it, like being unable to attract anyone, and just being over all a waste of life and all that. The sex stuff just seems to amplify my feelings over the rest, so dealing with that seems like a good way to ease my mind a bit.

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KogaSteelfang posted...

Though, like I said, i'm aware that I most likely have an unrealistic idea of what sex actually is/means. So, I'd just like to experience it so I'd know what it really is that

Sex is meaningless beyond the meaning put on it.
For some it is about pleasure. For others it is a chore. For others it is about being close.
People view it differently depending on their circumstances and customs.

You need to stop hating yourself. No one will rescue from that. You have to do it yourself.

a lot of people on the internet think having sex is magically going to make them normal

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Conflict posted...

People that desperate want companionship. A hooker is obviously not going to solve his problems when he feels unwanted and unattractive to the opposite sex

Really you guys need to phase out this advice completely because it's very stupid and has never actually helped anyone with their insecurities ever

I don't think anyone thinks it will solve his problems. It just helps tackle the problem. Instead of being 100% nervous for the approach, 100% nervous for the date, 100% nervous for making a move, and then 110% nervous for having sex, at worst it'll be 100% nervous for the approach, 100% nervous for the date, 100% nervous for making a move, and then 90% nervous for having sex. He may be at square 1 forever, he may not, but at least he got to know what it's like.

At the end of the day nothing really fixes your problems anyway so who gives a shit? That's like telling someone to not buy videogames because they'll still be miserable when the game is over. So what? We don't live forever, just do things you want.

Money doesn't buy happiness but it does pay off debt and pay for food and both those things make you happy. Nobody is saying that sex is gonna make him happy and transform him or that all of his needs will be met once he has sex. People are just saying, have sex just to have it. You can still be miserable and lonely and all that shit and work on that as it comes up, but at least sex isn't some giant mystery anymore.

It's like having a trash bin full of smelly garbage, but sitting right on top is a big pile of shit (sex). Removing the shit isn't gonna remove the trash bin, but at least there isn't a steaming pile of shit on top of everything.

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Conflict posted...

People that desperate want companionship. A hooker is obviously not going to solve his problems when he feels unwanted and unattractive to the opposite sex

Really you guys need to phase out this advice completely because it's very stupid and has never actually helped anyone with their insecurities ever

spot on

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Imma be the first person itt to attempt an answer that isnt off topic

I believe its something like hormonal instability, and i feel bad for dudes suffering from it because it causes them to ruin themselves and others involved, making bad decisions instead of seeing it as motivation for something good.

But theres many factors that cause this. Their perception, their influences, personal experiences, quality of life, reward system..

i cant say i havent been desperate. There were times where my friends would tell me their experiences and it made me question myself, like what was i doing wrong or should i be taking more risks.

Honestly, i dont have much advice besides; one night stands arent worth it, emotional trauma is nothing to fuck with, and youre better being safe than sorry

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Master Kazuya posted...

I don't think anyone thinks it will solve his problems. It just helps tackle the problem. Instead of being 100% nervous for the approach, 100% nervous for the date, 100% nervous for making a move, and then 110% nervous for having sex, at worst it'll be 100% nervous for the approach, 100% nervous for the date, 100% nervous for making a move, and then 90% nervous for having sex. He may be at square 1 forever, he may not, but at least he got to know what it's like.

At the end of the day nothing really fixes your problems anyway so who gives a shit? That's like telling someone to not buy videogames because they'll still be miserable when the game is over. So what? We don't live forever, just do things you want.

Money doesn't buy happiness but it does pay off debt and pay for food and both those things make you happy. Nobody is saying that sex is gonna make him happy and transform him or that all of his needs will be met once he has sex. People are just saying, have sex just to have it. You can still be miserable and lonely and all that shit and work on that as it comes up, but at least sex isn't some giant mystery anymore.

It's like having a trash bin full of smelly garbage, but sitting right on top is a big pile of shit (sex). Removing the shit isn't gonna remove the trash bin, but at least there isn't a steaming pile of shit on top of everything.

Good post, agree entirely.

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DravenRainrix posted...

Balls.
It's only because society has taught men that it's how they should be and have taught women that they shouldn't be.

Same reason men with multiple.conquests are heroic to other jack ass men but a woman with multiple.partners is seen as easy or a s***

Any man that claims to be horny all the time is a douche. Any man that claims he needs sex is a douche. Any man that can't control himself in the presence of women is a massive douche bag bellend.

Social conditioning is a reason why women think less of sex but it doesn't negate the fact that women think less of sex, it just gives a reason as to why that is
https://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare

Also, Koga, I've told you this a million times but your main flaw isn't that you're a virgin at 30something, your main flaw is that you'd rather wallow in self pity than take steps to climb out of your hole. Stop hating yourself, stop putting sex on a pedestal, stop wasting your time doing things you KNOW are bad for you and just make a genuine, concentrated effort in the things that you know you should do
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Shadowplay posted...

If you care about it that much, it's time to get a goddamn hooker.

Don't pay for it @KogaSteelfang
It's a form of intimacy, not a transaction.
Losing your V seems pretty big to you. If you start the story that way you've compromised yourself and have to tell any potential partners in the future how you got started.


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Its basic supply and demand honestly. Because it's so difficult for so many man to acquire on a quick and consistant basis the past century it become far more valuable then it really is.

If prostitution was legalized though that would change. And sex wouldnt be anything to brag about when most virgins will lose it once they hit a X age, and its readily available at anytime in the local red light districts.

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