Current Events > 'No Way To Prevent This' is back on the Onion's front page

(+) Yeah! (+)

Funny how some stuff never gets old
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https://www.theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-r-1846698258

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INDIANAPOLISIn the hours following a violent rampage in Indiana in which a lone attacker killed eight individuals and injured several others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Friday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and theres nothing anyone can do to stop them, said Nebraska resident Andrew Clark, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who reside in a nation where over half of the worlds deadliest mass shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20 times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed nations. Its a shame, but what can we do? There really wasnt anything that was going to keep this individual from snapping and killing a lot of people if thats what they really wanted. At press time, residents of the only economically advanced nation in the world where roughly two mass shootings have occurred every month for the past eight years were referring to themselves and their situation as helpless.

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it should just be there at all times at this point

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