Current Events > I was laying in bed trying to get back to sleep when a horrible thought hit me

(+) Yeah! (+)

It's been around 17 years since I've been on an actual date. Back when I was 21. I'm not ugly or anything, I'm just not the type of person that walks up and starts talking with people. Online dating as been a bust as well, though.

I don't know how someone like me builds confidence when all I ever get is Ls. I'm in good shape, I'm a good looking guy, I'm easy and fun to be around once people give me a chance. My biggest issues are social ones, and I don't know how to get over them.

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If it helps you feel any better you're better off than I am in every way with this

dantesdmc posted...

But do you really want to be in a relationship? Or just feeling bad because society has made you believe that you are miserable unless you have a companion

I'm not ready for a relationship, hell, I'm not even ready for a date. But humans are social creatures, and I'm very lonely. I'm terribly introverted in groups, I'm fantastic at 1v1 conversations. So yeah, a date would be a great thing for me. But not because I want to get laid or anything, I want someone outside of family and work to talk to. If she's a girl I find attractive and wants to have sex with me, well, we'll get over that hump when it comes

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DarthAragorn posted...

If it helps you feel any better you're better off than I am in every way with this

Maybe, I don't know your situation. I doubt it's as bad as you make it out to me, just like I'm sure it's not as big as a deal as I'm making it out to be.

Self-doubt is so destructive

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Bad_Mojo posted...

Maybe, I don't know your situation. I doubt it's as bad as you make it out to me, just like I'm sure it's not as big as a deal as I'm making it out to be.

Self-doubt is so destructive

I'm 27 and never done anything whatsoever with a girl, I'm not in shape or attractive and my social skills are non-existent

You've at least done it before and apparently have the looks, I got nothing

First tip: don't tell the girls you pretended to be a dying girl with cancer on a video game message board

Yeah, it's 100% my social skills as well. Like, I don't know how to describe it. I don't understand why people use so much filler and drag on about things. I have a real issue talking to people when I have nothing actually to say or a reason to. Like, I don't have any issues being friendly with a cashier. "Hey, how are you doing today? I'm good. Yeah, it's my first time trying to actually start a garden and I'm pretty excited about it."

This is easy because it's something of substance to talk about. I'm buying garden stuff, so I have something to talk about. If I was just buying a bag of chips at the gas station, I wouldn't bother at all with the small talk, because why would anyone care about a f'n bag a chips?

However, even though I'm buying garden stuff, I would never in a millions years stand there and talk to the cashier about what I'm doing in my garden, how I'm doing it, ask suggestions about what to do, and other stuff like that. Not because I'm too nervous to talk, but because I don't want to waste their time or the people in line behind me on something I can just easily find out on my own at home. Also because a lot of people DO this, and when I was a cashier, I f'n hated it when people sat there and talked to and talked to me while others were waiting. Do I be rude to the person talking or rude to the people waiting?

It also hurts and helps that I'm VERY quick when it comes to certain things. Like I can hear only one side of a conversation and know what the other person is saying that I can't hear based only on the responses from the person I can hear. You wouldn't think this would be an issue, but it is. Once they get off the phone they explain to me what the other person said, and I legit don't get why because I was sitting right there listening. And this gets me frustrated in a way because it's like listening to the same thing twice. But a lot of people can't do this, they have to be told what that other person said on the phone. So when I'm the non-phone person, I don't need to be told what they said, but the people tell me anyways because that's what most people are used to, having to explain that, which provides conversation. So I have to sit there and re-listen to the same shit I already know, and get bored and check out. But when I'm the phone person, as in someone is listening to a phone call I'm having, they get upset when I don't explain what they just f'n heard, but that's because I don't understand how others can't easily figure that out like I can

A lot of people drive me nuts when I ask questions or favors.

Me - "Could you get me a glass, please?"

Them - "A big one or a small one?"

Me - "I don't care." [Already irritated because it's the 3,000th time this conversation has happened and I know what's coming next.]

Them - "I have this size and this size and this siz. . ."

Me to Me = "Fucking Christ! I just want some fucking water. How hard is it to give me a fucking glass?"

Me to Them - "I don't care. . .I just want some water"

If the roles were flipped, and someone asked me for a glass, I would just hand them a fucking glass and say nothing. Usually if someone needs something specific they'll say something alone the lines of, "Could you get me a big cup, please?" And if not, it's easy to give them the correct one when they correct you.

There are a lot of other examples I could share, but this is getting tl'dr now

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