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Current Events > A United States Marine was taking some college courses between deployments

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fohstick
03/16/21 2:38:35 PM
#1:


He had completed 20 missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "GOD was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me."

The classroom erupted in cheers!

God bless this man
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nothanks1
03/16/21 2:39:33 PM
#2:


That's assault
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ThePrinceFish
03/16/21 2:42:01 PM
#3:


That United States Marine? His name was Albert Einstein.

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ModLogic
03/16/21 2:43:46 PM
#4:


that marine is a dumb fucking piece of shit and should be jailed

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https://imgur.com/xaRYKZM
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#5
Post #5 was unavailable or deleted.
electricbugs2
03/16/21 2:46:24 PM
#6:


nothanks1 posted...
That's assault

ModLogic posted...
that marine is a dumb fucking piece of shit and should be jailed

Never change CE -_-

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#FreeMelly
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What_
03/16/21 2:47:51 PM
#7:


GregShmedley posted...
Lmfao I know people who would share this unironically.

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Machete
03/16/21 2:48:28 PM
#8:


"GOD" lmao
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ThePieReborn
03/16/21 2:51:52 PM
#9:


And every student there registered as a Republican while a bald eagle perched upon an American flag shed a single tear of pride.

Only True Americans will share this!

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VipaGTS
03/16/21 2:53:11 PM
#10:


*meanwhile, at GODs house*

"i think i'm gonna unleash a a super crazy disease that kills millions of people"

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#11
Post #11 was unavailable or deleted.
Funkydog
03/16/21 2:54:30 PM
#12:


That soldier's name?

Albert Einstein.

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Paragon21XX
03/16/21 2:56:10 PM
#13:


Marines are a step above God.
https://youtu.be/nOorvYBU6dU
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Hmm...
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BeyondWalls
03/16/21 2:56:50 PM
#14:


fohstick posted...
The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence.
Totally sounds like what a bunch of college kids would do after seeing their teacher get knocked the fuck out. Sit there quietly until he regained consciousness.

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END OF LINE
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BeyondWalls
03/16/21 3:04:13 PM
#15:


fohstick posted...
He had completed 20 missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

A young woman screamed in abject terror. The class erupted into chaos with several students running for help. The attacker appeared to be shouting, "I did it for God!" Luckily a good guy with a gun was there and stopped this insane Marine's unprovoked attack. CNN later confirmed that the soldier was suffering from PTSD. Fox News wondered if this would have happened if Dr Seuss was allowed in the classroom.

Fixed the story for 'ya.

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electricbugs2
03/16/21 3:05:30 PM
#16:


BeyondWalls posted...
Fixed the story for 'ya.
Shut the fuck up

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#FreeMelly
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ThanksUglyGod
03/16/21 3:08:33 PM
#17:


Only REAL Americans will liek dis if u kry everytiem
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Machete
03/16/21 3:09:13 PM
#18:


electricbugs2 posted...

Shut the fuck up


How are your friends Arugula, Arugula and Arugula?
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littlebro07
03/16/21 3:10:06 PM
#19:


GregShmedley posted...
Lmfao I know people who would share this unironically.


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skermac
03/16/21 3:11:54 PM
#20:


ModLogic posted...
that marine is a dumb fucking piece of shit and should be jailed

you should thank marins for your freedom

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Delirious_Beard
03/16/21 3:13:06 PM
#21:


the professor smirked quite Burgessly

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You act like I don't know my own way home
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VipaGTS
03/16/21 3:15:35 PM
#22:


skermac posted...
you should thank marins for your freedom
He should think me for contributing to his paycheck and free education hes getting.

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Machete
03/16/21 3:16:50 PM
#23:


skermac posted...


you should thank marins for your freedom


I'll thank my step cousin who is a marine, not this guy.
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gamer167
03/16/21 3:18:40 PM
#24:


What fat white conservative lady from the souths Facebook page did you find this on?
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HBKick18
03/16/21 6:13:10 PM
#25:


Delirious_Beard posted...
the professor smirked quite Burgessly
hahahahahaha

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AtelierRyza3462
03/16/21 6:14:22 PM
#26:


God sent that marine
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AvlButtslam
03/16/21 6:27:51 PM
#27:


I want hot cock not cold cock
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Hey kiddies
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DarkRoast
03/16/21 6:30:50 PM
#28:


A liberal, atheist, Marxist, anarcho-communist professor was teaching a class on the age of the Earth. "First, before I start the lecture, I want everyone to stand up and kneel during the national anthem, like they do in American football games." Everyone in the class kneeled instead of placing their hands on their hearts, except for one man. The ex-Marine who had survived Normandy, Vietnam, the Alamo and Desert Storm stood up and proudly placed his shrapnel-shorn hand over his heart. He sang to the lyrics of the national anthem, messing up "whose broad stripes and bright stars" just like all true patriots.

The professor was immediately taken back. "You fool, you are defending the police state? The United States has been 300 years of police tyranny!"

The ex-Marine calmly held up a pencil eraser. "Remind me, professor, how old is this eraser?"

The professor smiled like Epstein at a Chuck-E-Cheese. "You ignorant, cis-hetero military-fascist capitalist pig! That eraser is made of material at least 4 billion years old, the age of the Earth!"

The Marine maintained his resolute, humble posture. "If the Earth itself is, as you say, 4 billion years old... Why has it not evolved into a planet-human?"

Visibly shaken, the professor dropped his chalk, hairless cat, a signed copy of Das Kapital and several My Little Pony comics and stormed out of the auditorium, crying. At that very moment, a bald eagle named FireFauci landed on the Communist Flag, shedding a tear on it, causing it to transform into a golden American flag with 48 stars (minus California and New York). At that very moment, the ex-Marine ascended to the stage and led the auditorium in the Pledge of Allegiance. All of the students registered Republican that day, and bought WWG1WGA shirts / made QAnon Twitter accounts. Absentee and mail-in voting was banned, and the whole country was Gerrymandered.

That ex-Marine's name?
Donald Trump.

Semper Fi.

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Shotgunnova
03/16/21 6:39:02 PM
#29:


And the name of that soldier? Albert Einstein.

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nfearurspecimn
03/16/21 6:41:26 PM
#30:


lmfao I love these things

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