Current Events > Friend of mine needs some girl advice. I want see other guys here think.

(+) Yeah! (+)

He met this girl back in October of 2020 and started to see her. Theyre not officially together as of right now but he spends a lot of time with her. He really likes her but hes frustrated. For a while, hes been going to her apartment. She lives alone and invites him over constantly. They just watch movies or whatever but the thing is, this girl is comfortable with him to the point of walking around in nothing but her bra and panties while hes over there. Shell get on top of him and make out but it never progresses into sex.

Now, hes asked her multiple times if they could have sex but she always says no. I dont know about you guys but I dont know any women who invites a guy who likes her over to her apartment, strips to her underwear, makes out with him every time, but refuses sex. She doesnt owe him anything sure but it sounds she likes a massive tease especially since shes been doing this for a while now.

Hes not sure what to do here. He doesnt want to just go for it because hes trying to be respectful to her. Its why he asks her to have sex. Im not sure if hes inexperienced. Everyone, including her, thinks hes a virgin but he denies it.

I dont know what to tell him myself. Ive never been teased by a girl like this. Not without it leading to sex at least. What would you dudes do if you were in his situation?

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Your friend sounds a lot like you.

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Try actually asking her on a date

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This "friend". Is "he" only visible when you look into a mirror?

Gobstoppers12 posted...

Your friend sounds a lot like you.

Feel free to elaborate because nobody on this board knows what Im like in real life.

ZeroX91 posted...

Try actually asking her on a date

Theyve been on dates according to him.


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Tell your friend to just let it slide and start seeing other women

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Scarecrow17 posted...

Theyve been on dates according to him.

Okay but like a good one. Or like a weekend away somewhere or something

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She honestly sounds really strange to me. If she's straddling me in her underwear but won't go on to sex, and continues to do it without progressing to sex, I'd just stop the physical contact altogether and friendzone her. Either she'll end up fucking him or the teasing will stop

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Playing games isn't worth your time so move on

"It's not that simple/easy", you say

But it really is

I would talk to her about it directly like an adult.

He could have an adult conversation as to why and bring up his concerns about how far she pushes physical contact. She may have a reason she doesn't want to have sex. Just ask her but don't be a clod about it.

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Rathinor posted...

This "friend". Is "he" only visible when you look into a mirror?

Im already with a girl and I have sex with her every now and then but sure. She lives 30 minutes away from me and Im a full time student so I dont see her as much as I would like.

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Scarecrow17 posted...

Im already with a girl and I have sex with her every now and then but sure. She lives 30 minutes away from me and Im a full time student so I dont see her as much as I would like.

You live 30 minutes away from Canada?

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100% tease

tell him to move on

jeffhardyb0yz posted...

this girl is playing your friend and he needs to get out of that situation. Unless shes saving herself or theres something extremely unusual going on, she just doesnt want to have sex with him. Shed fuck the guy she really wants to fuck in a heartbeat nanosecond. She enjoys the validation but doesnt see him as a candidate for sex.

tell your friend to back off and start making making his time scarce. This isnt the girl for him. People shouldnt settle for situations like this and most people just roll with it until they keep getting hurt

Ignore every word of this lol holy shit.

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Vyrulisse posted...

Ignore every word of this lol holy shit.

The first paragraph maybe but the second paragraph is fine. This girl is bizarre. Any of the girls using me for validation did so by banging, not just by kissing me. This girl is bizarre

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has she actually given a reason why there hasn't been any sex yet?

ZeroX91 posted...

Okay but like a good one. Or like a weekend away somewhere or something

Hes currently jobless and has no money so unless she pays for everything, I doubt hell take on her a good date. He does have a job lined up for summer but until then, hes relying on his parents for income.

Tenlaar posted...

I would talk to her about it directly like an adult.

Vyrulisse posted...

He could have an adult conversation as to why and bring up his concerns about how far she pushes physical contact. She may have a reason she doesn't want to have sex. Just ask her but don't be a clod about it.

Im under the impression hes talked to her about it but he never got a concrete answer. She just says that she doesnt want to. Shes been with other guys according to him so I dont understand why shes against it. Ive never met her myself because Covid so I have no idea what shes like. Ive only seen a few pictures.

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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

Why should he need to ask someone why they wont have sex with him? Its like asking someone why they dont like you. Her actions speak louder than any words could say. Unless its some super extreme situation(which it usually isnt), then she just doesnt want to fuck this dude.

Because adults can talk about adult things like adults instead of just assuming which never turns out well for anyone.

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Scarecrow17 posted...

Hes currently jobless and has no money so unless she pays for everything, I doubt hell take on her a good date. He does have a job lined up for summer but until then, hes relying on his parents for income.

You don't think that could be the reason right there? The girl likes him but shit ain't gonna progress until he gets his shit together?

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Vyrulisse posted...

Because adults can talk about adult things like adults instead of just assuming which never turns out well for anyone.

How much of an assumption is it if she's been sleeping with other people and not him, and tells him she doesn't want to sleep with him

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Do they go on actual dates or does he just come over to hang out?

She probably wants more and she might think hes not doing enough. Either way a conversation needs to take place

jeffhardyb0yz posted...

this girl is playing your friend and he needs to get out of that situation. Unless shes saving herself or theres something extremely unusual going on(in most cases there isnt, she just doesnt like him enough for sex), she just doesnt want to have sex with him. She enjoys the validation but doesnt see him as a candidate for sex. Believe me, shed fuck the guy she really wants to fuck in a heartbeat nanosecond, just as hed fuck a girl he really wants to fuck

tell your friend to back off and start making making his time scarce. This isnt the girl for him. People shouldnt settle for situations like this and most people just roll with it until they keep getting hurt. This woman has set a no sex frame in the relationship and your friend is just rolling with it. Shell continue for as long as he allows her to.

btw shes probably seeing other people and best believe someone else is fucking her

Yeah, I honestly think she wouldve had sex with him by now if she really liked him. Maybe theres a legit reason but shes had send with other guys before he came along and she was acting strange with him in November by taking days to reply to his texts and giving him one word answers.

I think this is his first experience with a girl so he came to our whole group of friends asking for advice. Hes a great guy. Just really awkward when it comes to talking to girls.

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That's a situation that should've already naturally progressed into sex...pretty easily.

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How old are the friend and the girl in question?

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She's using him. He gets her worked up and she thrives on that energy then she takes it elsewhere to release it. The sex she's having is a lot better because of him. She probably thinks of him.

He needs to go have sex with someone else.

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You should show her some daggers and then see what happens

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Scarecrow17 posted...

Im under the impression hes talked to her about it but he never got a concrete answer. She just says that she doesnt want to. Shes been with other guys according to him so I dont understand why shes against it. Ive never met her myself because Covid so I have no idea what shes like. Ive only seen a few pictures.

If they've talked about it multiple times and she hasn't given a reason beyond lack of interest, it's probably time to move on. If he's really dedicated to salvaging it, then he needs to be straightforward about how it makes him feel and that they need to be honest with each other about their expectations in their relationship. If they can't find some compromise they both are happy with ( and not your friend just giving in) then they both need to stop wasting time on this relationship.

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Not to say she doesn't like him or appreciate him, even value him. Buuuut certainly not as much as he deserves. She is not treating him right.

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Takes a CEman to think normal communication about normal couple stuff is somehow the same thing as "being spoonfed everything with words and security"

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You say she was sexually active before him with guys, that's a bit telling too. Something could have happened in a previous relationship she doesn't wanna talk about, she could be wanting to try a different road in a relationship this time, there could be many reasons. This is why I suggested it best if he talks to her about it.

Maybe she just doesn't want to like she says, but he'll never know for sure unless they have that conversation. At least after he'll have a better idea of where they both stand in regards to a possible relationship.

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ZeroX91 posted...

You don't think that could be the reason right there? The girl likes him but shit ain't gonna progress until he gets his shit together?

Its possible although he is trying. She knew beforehand that he didnt have a job since they met through a friend. He starts orientation for his new job soon so it shouldnt be much an issue anymore.

Returning_CEmen posted...

Do they go on actual dates or does he just come over to hang out?

She probably wants more and she might think hes not doing enough. Either way a conversation needs to take place

Both. Hell go out to dinner with her every now and then on the weekends. Nothing fancy since he doesnt have his own money. Any good date will be on her. Hell also go over to her apartment on the weekdays at night. Maybe things will progress now that hes starting a job soon but I personally would have bailed already. I dont want to sound shallow and only interested in sex but there are plenty of other women out there.

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_MorningStar posted...

How old are the friend and the girl in question?

Hes 23. I believe shes 22.

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Scarecrow17 posted...

I dont want to sound shallow and only interested in sex

You failed at this.

He sounds like a bitch. Women want to fuck men

Who hurt you, jeffhardyb0yz?

Somebody hurt you bad.

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Gobstoppers12 posted...

Who hurt you, jeffhardyb0yz?

Somebody hurt you bad.

I tend to find that jeffhardy has really good dating advice, I'm inclined to follow what he suggests really

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coolpal23 posted...

I tend to find that jeffhardy has really good dating advice, I'm inclined to follow what he suggests really

His dating advice is basically "don't talk to her or try to understand her, because she'll lie or make excuses" which is the kind of thing somebody says when they have serious trust issues.

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ibu1996 posted...

You should show her some daggers and then see what happens

Still think this is the answer

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Jeff gives good advice generally. stop trying to fling personal shit at people

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Tenlaar posted...

You failed at this.

Im not talking about myself. If I were him, I would have moved on. After 2019, Im not going to waste time on one girl who doesnt treat me right. There are plenty of other girls out there. Even though I got burned pretty badly back in 2019, I am thankful for the experience. Now, I know how to proceed with relationships. When something doesnt work out for me, I try not to complain and moan about it. I use it a learning experience so it doesnt happen again.

bobaban posted...

He sounds like a bitch. Women want to fuck men

Hes the only one who came to jump start my car despite being over 40 minutes away at midnight. Hes a real one so I want to help him out.

Frolex posted...

If they've talked about it multiple times and she hasn't given a reason beyond lack of interest, it's probably time to move on. If he's really dedicated to salvaging it, then he needs to be straightforward about how it makes him feel and that they need to be honest with each other about their expectations in their relationship. If they can't find some compromise they both are happy with ( and not your friend just giving in) then they both need to stop wasting time on this relationship.

Vyrulisse posted...

You say she was sexually active before him with guys, that's a bit telling too. Something could have happened in a previous relationship she doesn't wanna talk about, she could be wanting to try a different road in a relationship this time, there could be many reasons. This is why I suggested it best if he talks to her about it.

Maybe she just doesn't want to like she says, but he'll never know for sure unless they have that conversation. At least after he'll have a better idea of where they both stand in regards to a possible relationship.

I agree. Ill tell him to try talking to her about it again the next time he sees her but if she repeats the same thing, then it may be in his best interest to move on or just be friends with her. I just dont want to see him sad over this because he talks about her all the time. He really likes her. Ive known him for almost 16 years and Ive never seen him talk about a girl like this before.


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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

Despite the differences in opinion ITT, most answers here say your friend basically has 3 options:

1) Ask her why she wont have sex with him. Shell either give him an extreme situation(not super common) or shell come up with some BS excuse in efforts to string him along. Either way, if he isnt getting what he wants, then he needs to walk away and move on

2) Start withdrawing his time and energy on this woman and move on. If she has any real interest in trying to keep him, and theres nothing really holding her back, then shell try harder to make something happen. Im doubtful anything will happen here though. Experience had taught me that in most cases, if someone wants to have sex with you, theyll have sex with you.

whatever he chooses, he cannot chose option 3, which is continuing to roll with this the way he currently is because shell keep stringing him along for as long as he allows her to or gets completely bored. Either way awful for your friends well being

This is the correct answer. If he really likes her then he should talk to her first. If she's evasive or doesn't give him an answer he wants then it's on him to start moving on.

I swear Tenlaar, you're normally a smart guy, but it's like you're incapable of posting like you don't have two sticks up your ass
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Scarecrow17 posted...

Im not talking about myself. If I were him, I would have moved on. After 2019, Im not going to waste time on one girl who doesnt treat me right. There are plenty of other girls out there. Even though I got burned pretty badly back in 2019, I am thankful for the experience. Now, I know how to proceed with relationships. When something doesnt work out for me, I try not to complain and moan about it. I use it a learning experience so it doesnt happen again.

My point was that saying "I don't want to sound shallow and only interested in sex" followed by how you would have already bailed because she wasn't putting out doesn't actually make you sound less shallow and only interested in sex by saying it. You basically pulled the old "I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic/whatever, buuuuut..."