Current Events > The Ballad of Craig Dump: HotLap's Pokémon X Nuzlocke Run

(+) Yeah! (+)

I've never done a Nuzlocke run before and it's been a long time since I've played Pokmon X, so I decided to go with that. In fact, I fired it up to check on my old boys and found I've never actually beat this game. In the write-ups I'll be deviating from the game in how the story is told, but the main plot points should be the same. I selected a starter Pokmon at random. Here are the rules:

1. I can only catch the first Pokmon I encounter in each zone (no duplicates).
2. If a Pokmon faints, it's dead and is sent into the abyss.
3. I must play in Set Mode.
4. No healing items can be used in battle unless it's a held item.
5. When my party exceeds six Pokmon, I'll let CE decide who gets sent to the Box (except for the starter).

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Craig's nose opens before his eyes do. The sugary stench of a fresh stack of Mom's homemade Dumpcakes wafts into his room. This is Craig's ideal alarm clock, but Mom doesn't bust out the Dumpcakes on just any occasion. Craig quickly gets dressed and barrels downstairs. The syrup's just hit the cake and Mom provides a fork right on time. "It's been a long time since you've made these," Craig says between chews.
"Well today's not just any day," Mom replies as she pours a cup of orange juice. "Today is the first day of your Pokmon journey!"
"Well," Craig takes a sip. "Let's keep our expectations low. I might not be very good." Craig never understood why so many ten year olds were being sent down this path by their families. Even if he's in the top one percent of trainers, he will have still seen A LOT of death.
"Oh please," Mom pats Craig on the arm. "You're going to be great! Everyone we know has said it to me. They all really believe in you."
Craig's always been an average student and an okay athlete at best, but his family and friends' fervent belief in his success wasn't surprising. "You know why they say that though, right?"

The doorbell rings. "Oh! I'll get it!" Mom jumps up and scurries to the door.
"Hi, is Craig Dump here? We were about to go to Aquacorde Town.
"Oh yes yes yes! Honey, our neighbors are here to take you to-"
"I heard, Mom," Craig rounds the corner to see the shortest girl he's met in his life and what had to be a WNBA center.
"Hi, I'm Serena," the center says from way above him. "We were about to head out, are you ready?"
Craig slings his backpack over his shoulder as Mom shakes in place with excitement. "Yep."

Craig gives the sleeping Rhyhorn in the yard a couple of pats as he walks down his front path with Shauna and Serena. The trip to Aquacorde Town was quick, as it's a straight shot north from Vaniville. However, it was long enough for Craig to see that Shauna could talk like a normal human, instead of garbling wearily like a shameful little goblin. Once in Aquacorde, Serena introduces Craig to Tierno and Trevor, making sure to identify an attribute that makes them each unlikeable as she points to them.
"Very nice to meet you, Craig Dump, " the nerd says.
"Same here!" Tierno, the horrible dancer exclaims. "But before I give you all your Pokmon, I think we should give Craig Dump a nickname so we can feel more connected to him emotionally."
What an absolute bonkers thing to say. "And this takes precedent over the Pokmon?" Craig asks sadly.
"Oh absolutely!" the group agrees.
Craig shrugs. "Alright." How bad could it be?
Big-C and C-Meister are quickly pitched and discarded. Tierno slams the table with meaty purpose and decrees, "I've got it! Dumpy Baby!"
"I strongly object to Dumpy Baby," Craig shakes his head.
"But oh my god, Dumpy Baby suits you perfectly," Shauna pleads.
"You have no idea how hurtful that is, especially coming from you," Craig snarls.
The group loudly begins to chant "DUMPY BABY" while pounding on the table. People stare. Realizing that the staring crowd would know he's Dumpy Baby by his face of dejection, Craig enthusiastically joins in on the chant until everyone is shushed by a waiter.

"Alright, Dumpy Baby," Tierno holds open his duffel bag. "Reach in here and grab one."
Craig does as he's told and emerges holding a Pokball with a flame sticker on it.
"Ooh! That's Fennekin, a fire Pokmon," says Tierno.
"Cool."
"What are you going to name it?" Shauna asks.
Craig shrugs. "I don't think that's up to me."
Serena looks down at Craig. "Who else would it be up to?"
"The Fennekin? This thing's already been alive for a while. I can't just rename it."
"All it can say is Fennekin... It's just gonna name itself Fennekin," Trevor looks confused.
Craig meets his gaze, unsure where the problem lies. "Sure. That's fine."
"Okay... " Tierno reaches back into his bag. "Here's a letter for each of your parents, and there's a separate letter in here for you, Dumpy Baby."
Craig accepts the two letters hastily. "Thanks. This has been fun, but I think someone saw me respond when you called me Dumpy Baby and now I have to leave."

Craig shuffles out of his chair and starts heading back to Vaniville. It would have been nice to have a group of people his own age that he could call his friends. But that seemed more like mild bullying, hazing at the very least. "Maybe this Fennekin could be a friend," Craig thinks to himself.
Craig's thoughts are interrupted by a shrill, goblin call of "DUMPY BABY." Craig turns to see Shauna racing over like a hungry piglet who's just seen the slop trough get filled. "Let's test our Pokmon out! What do you say?"
"Shauna, we just got these," Craig protests.
"Yeah, well I've been studying a whole bunch," spittle explodes from her mouth as she speaks. "I think I can take you."
"Why do you want to murder my Pokmon five minutes after I got it?" Craig asks.
"On Route 1, when I introduced myself, you jumped and shouted, 'Oh shit! You can talk!' Remember?"
"It was a genuine reaction. You wouldn't be mad at your arm for breaking if a truck drove over it, would you? It's just the only thing that could have happened," Craig makes his case.
Shauna holds out her Pokball to reveal she's selected the grass-type, Chespin. "Are you ready?" she asks, determined.
Craig sighs. "Shauna, you have a type disadvantage. Are you... prepared to see what happens when you lose a Pokmon battle?"
Shauna wipes some spit from her chin. "Are you?... Go Chesty!" Shauna throws her Pokeball.
Instinctively, Craig responds with his own.

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Chespin and Fennekin emerge from their Pokballs and face one another. They both look terribly confused, glancing at each other, then to Craig, then Shauna. "Chesty! Use Tackle!" she shouts.
"This is definitely not where I was last time I went into my Pokball," Fennekin whispers.
"Yeah me neither," Chespin nods.
Shauna's shrieks of "Chesty! Cheeeesty!" threaten to drown out the Pokmon's conversation.
"Who's Chesty?" Fennekin worries aloud. "Am I Chesty?"
"Hey buddy... uh Fennekin..." Craig calls out nervously. "You're not Chesty. I'm your trainer and this is Route 1."
Fennekin looks bewildered. "You can understand me?"
"Yeah," Craig responds matter-of-factly.
"So she named me...Chesty?" cries Chespin.
"Seems that way," Craig nods solemnly.
"Well hey - maybe your trainer understands you too," suggests Fennekin.
"Good point," Chesty turns around to face Shauna. "Are we sold on Chesty? Like 100%?"
Nearly all of the blood in Shauna's body has relocated to her face. "CHESTY! TACKLE! TACKLE HIM! CHESTY!" she wails as she poorly mimics a tackle.
"Oh shit!" Chesty starts panicking. "Battle! It's a battle!"
"Uh fuck," Fennekin pushes Chesty away and tries to take a more aggressive stance.
Chesty jogs away, turns, then starts to sprint back towards Fennekin. As Chesty dives at the fire-type, the fox deftly rolls out of the way and Chespin rolls past. "What do I do here, boss?"
"Um... uh..." Craig stares at the battle indecisively. "You're a fire-type, right? Do you know how to do the - can you make it? Can you make the fire?"
"Yep," Fennekin confirms as Chesty has regained his footing and is ready to make a second pass.
"Okay, do that move," orders Craig.
"GET HIM, CHESTY! DO IT!" It's a wonder that blood hasn't shot out of Shauna's ears and caused her to bleed out on this dirt road.
In the middle of his charge, Chesty erupts into a ball of fire and begins screeching in agony. He drops to the dirt and futilely attempts to douse the flames. Craig and Fennekin watch uncomfortably. "P-Please! H-HEEEEELP!" are Chesty's last discernable words before his voice becomes a throat-tearing scream as his flesh crackles and the flames eat him alive. Once Chesty falls silent, Craig and Fennekin turn their attention back to Serena. A look of shock and regret has replaced the red in her face with white. Her lip quivers as her eyes remain locked on the charred remains of her first Pokmon. A shrill wail echoes through the forest as she collapses onto the ground in tears.
Craig motions Fennekin to follow him. "Um... so we're gonna head out..."

Once out of earshot of Shauna's grieving, Craig immediately apologizes to Fennekin. "Dude I am so so sorry about that. That is NOT how I wanted to introduce myself. That was heavy."
"Look, I... I get it," Fennekin strides alongside Craig. "There were a few moments before the fight broke out and I could see, y'know, what her deal was. I don't think you had much say in whether that battle happened or not."
"I really didn't. I'm still sorry though. I'm Craig, by the way." Craig kneels down and offers his hand.
Fennekin accepts the handshake with his paw. "Glad to still be alive, Craig. I'm... I guess you haven't told me yet."
"I'm not going to name you. What did your mom call you?" asks Craig.
Fennekin looks surprised. "Professor Sycamore used to rant apologetically after he had too much gin that we were doomed to a quick life with a silly name. He said some stupid child could come along and name us Booger and it would humiliate us. And no matter what we did, we'd always be Booger and it would break our heart. It was either a long life of fighting or a quick and painful death and we were going to be Booger either way."
Craig puts his hand on Fennekin's shoulder. "Speaking as someone who is going to be called Dumpy Baby by his peer group for the foreseeable future, I would never force Booger or any name you weren't comfortable with onto you. So let's hear it. What's your name?"
A wave of relief clearly washes over Craig's new companion. "I'm Ted. Ted Barnes."
"Nice to meet you, Ted. Do you like dumpcakes?"

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