Current Events > Let's play a game of "Am I the asshole".

(+) Yeah! (+)

So, this year has been terrible to say the least. My wife, daughter, and I have lost everything due to the virus. Last January we flew my parents out to visit us in China (my dad had never seen my daughter and my mom hadn't seen here in 3.5 years). Well, the timing was obviously terrible. We lived in the neighbouring province to Wuhan. We ended up fleeing China in February because I was worried about my parents (both are extreme high risk). We want to to Thailand where my wife and I have a home. We ended up not being able to return to China because of boarder closures (whirlwind of a story on its own). We lost everything (job, belongings, a ton of money on flights, etc). We were forced to return to Canada.

This is where things really begin. My parents rent a 2 bedroom basement suite from my brother who lived upstairs. My parents wanted us to return to Canada and said we could stay with them as long as we needed. I agreed to $600/month in the belief that it would be going towards my parents rent and saving them money. Instead I found out it was all actually going to my brother. I could have understood a bit to him due to increased cost of utilities but all of it? Are you insane. My parents always knew it was not right but they were too spineless to say anything about it. He is literally stealing money out of my parents pockets who are already on a fixed income.

My brother got a job in another province and is moving. He's been there for 2 months now. Originally the plan was he'd move his wife and kids there in the spring. He wanted my parents to move upstairs and for us to take over the basement at double the price. They decided to move that time table up last month and want things to change at the end of February. I was very clear since it was first discussed that if my wife didn't have her work visa, we wouldn't be able to do it.

Well, due to the current global situation has caused immigration to be extremely slow. What normally would take 2-3 months has been over 7 months with no end in sight. Then to add insult to injury, I was laid off from my job Tuesday.

I told my dad that we would likely have to look for a 1 bedroom apartment because we wouldn't be able to afford $1200 if both of us aren't working. My plan was to make the decision this week and let them know we would leave at the end of February.

I changed my mind very quickly after that. Heard my dad talking to my brother about my mom (she's been hospitalized with the virus because my brothers wife decided to break her quarantine, get infected and then not mention she had symptoms). He then told my brother that I got laid off. You know what the first things he said were?

"How is he going to afford the rent?"
"Where are they going to live?"
"They can't go upstairs and live with you."

Well that made my decision easy. I was leaving that day. Went to a friend's house and he offered us his spare room for free for as long as we need it.

We packed up and left immediately. I sent him the rent money (always paid on the 20th because that is my payday). I then sent an extra $100 for the 15th to the 20th seeing as how the only thing in life that matters to him is money. I woke up to him calling me this morning. Claimed I still owed him $600 because I gave no notice. I told him to go fuck himself.

He then sent numerous messages to my wife and I, every message involved money or a threat of violence. My wife called him out on basically stealing money my parents for months. She then proceeded to block him.

It's caused a lot of drama to say the least. My parents want to stay out of it but I had a heart to heart with my dad an hour ago and told them he can't stay neutral. I asked him to look me in the face and tell me I was wrong. Tell me my brother isn't doing anything wrong. He just said "I've known it was wrong since the beginning?" Then why didn't you guys ever say anything or stand up for yourself?

I told my dad that as far as I was concerned, my brother isn't my family. He proved that small amounts of money is more important than family. All he needed to do was be a normal human being and talk with me. Instead he did what he did. He even went as far as cancelling my phone plan knowing that I am waiting on calls from the resumes I sent out. We were all on a family plan (including my parents) because it saved him money on his internet/cable bill.

I don't think I'm in the wrong but other opinions would be nice. I don't feel I had any reason to give him notice about leaving. Especially when there was never any such agreement. I also don't think I'm wrong for the wife or I calling him out on all of this.

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if he is threatening violence then report the fucking scumbag

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You are likely not in the wrong, at least morally imo.

Were you on a written lease? Was it month to month or otherwise? edit: also sorry bro, this whole year sounds like it's been awful for you. I hope it gets better.

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ModLogic posted...

if he is threatening violence then report the fucking scumbag

this. not sure how canadian law works but have to give a month's notice prior to leaving the building if not on a lease.

financial situations can change at any time. i hope it gets better for anyone in deep shit right now.
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Wow. First of all, I'm genuinely sorry that you're going through such hard times. You've always seemed like a dude that just wants to enjoy life and provide for your family.

As far as this situation, you aren't in the wrong. Not at all. Your brother clearly doesn't value you as family nor does she seems to have much respect for your parents. I don't want to speak out of turn so please correct me if i'm wrong. This is just my feeling after reading this.

It's doubly frustrating to hear that you are clearly trying to get back on your feet but your brother seems to be completely devoid of passion, considering you are his family.

I legit don't know how I would react in this situation. If my brother treated me and and my family this way, I would be heartbroken.

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Thanks, I appreciate it. I've never been so filled with hate and disgust as I am now. He keeps escalating it further as well. I've told my dad that they're going to have to choose. That his youngest son has essentially told them they could never see their granddaughter again because we are all banned from his property and that's a thing I'm more than happy to oblige. He's already gone to social media with it for the family to all see but of course he doesn't include any of the actual details. I haven't replied or posted anything for the sake of my mom.

I'm waiting for my mom to get out of hospital before I sit both my parents down and give them an ultimatum. They either say something to him and not just a half asses talk. If they're unwilling to do that, they'll be blocked on social media and will never have contact with us again. I understand wanting to stay neutral but it's impossible to do that some times.

But tbh, I don't think my mom will come out of the hospital. Covid is really hitting her badly and she's not getting any better. The coughing started yesterday, she has the pneumonia and pretty much every other symptom.

If things take a turn for the severe, I'm going nuclear. I will post literally everything that has happened and tag friends and family. I have screenshots of scumbag stuff he has done over the years. I will also make it very clear that his bitch wife is the entire reason she is in hospital. She's there because she's incredibly selfish and broke an AHS mandated quarantine due to close contact with my mom, who had close contact with me. She decided because my mom tested negative that she didn't actually need to isolate for 14 days even though she was told she had to. We believe she got it from her cousin who tested positive just before New Years.

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