Current Events > Why online dating sucks

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TC you seem to be overthinking this a lot. First of all you are attractive, so you've already got something going for you. And I assure you there's plenty of desirable people on dating apps that don't want to travel or anything. I don't drink either and I'm also awkward so we have a lot in common. You just have to find someone that embraces your awkwardness, and it's definitely doable. The worst thing you can do is try hiding your awkwardness, because I guarantee you someone will be attracted to it whether it's in person or online

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I've only had problems meeting people using straight dating apps. Gay dating apps are designed to put you in contact with people. Apps like Tinder treat the people you would be meeting as a limited resource and rations the contact you have with them. Only uppity women seem to have a problem with my height (5'7"). To be fair, it really shouldn't matter but something I've noticed. Most of the girls I successfully date are either bi, queer or trans and they tend to be much more open minded and likely to look past superficial things like height.

Also, dating services that focus more on interests and hobbies in my opinion are better for meeting people you are into. I have had success using Match.com in the past and it's algorithm matches you via personality, rather than physical appearances. Tinder is just basically a pay-to-win mobile game and is the worst app for people with actual personality to use for online dating. I haven't used Bumble or Hinge but I imagine I would fair much better.


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muchdran posted...

I see alot of short guys with hot women. Its personality. And be a man . Weird as that sounds.

thank you but that is my problem, my personality sucks >_>

WrestlinFan posted...

Ill never be able to get into online dating. Id rather meet friends of friends or something.

harpie suggested some good ways of meeting people. how do you do it with covid in the picture?

Garreyn posted...

I gave up on dating apps because..

1. Traveling is not important to me.
2. Football is not a hobby.
3. I have never met anyone that says tacos are a favorite food, yet on these apps every girl claims this.
4. "ill like ur dog more than ill like u!"
Like I dunno if there's a template for women to follow for their profiles, but 90% of the women I looked at had the things above somehow in there.

yeah ive seen a lot of the same stuff on okc and tinder. the same overused lines. i try not to think about it.

Harpie posted...

Youtube content creation is cool, you should definitely lean into that. And if youre open to try new things thats all that matters, that means you can join random ass groups lol

I just joined a local buddhism club just cause. Its been a lot of fun so far getting to meet new people

honestly this is some good ass info, thank you so much. why cant people lke you exist in my real life

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one thing that's extremely important with online dating: make your profile as you as it can possibly be. filling it with potentially divisive stuff acts as a good filter.

for example: sense of humour is important to me, so I always have a homemade meme as one of my pictures. I usually also include a joke in the written section. if a prospective match doesn't like that, they're probably not someone I would want to date in the first place.

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Honestly if more women were like Harpie, more people would be in relationships and the world would be happier. And I'm not trying to say men can do no wrong, just saying if we all had a Harpie around us life would be easier

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Simp

Not bad-mouthing Harpie's advice, but the advice of "Join groups in person and you can meet people." looks nice on paper, but in my personal experience doesn't work great in practice.

When I was single in college, I had a female friend who coooonstantly told me to try joining clubs, groups at the library, etc... to meet someone and ask them out. I gave it a shot, but it never worked out. I tried asking out a couple girls and I think most of them were already in relationships, and one just didn't seem interested. I remember having her repeatedly suggest it was infuriating lol, and to this very day she still recommends it for making friends.

FWIW I feel like that type of advice works well in more rural areas that are less populated, since this particular friend of mine is from NH. It feels like something that works out when you're in a small town without a ton of competition, as opposed to more populated urban/suburban places.

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Just be confident bro

Stop making assumptions, shoot all the shots you can because you never know when one is going to go in.

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IfGodCouldDie posted...

shoot all the shots you can because you never know when one is going to go in.

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WallStreetWolf posted...

TC you seem to be overthinking this a lot. First of all you are attractive, so you've already got something going for you. And I assure you there's plenty of desirable people on dating apps that don't want to travel or anything. I don't drink either and I'm also awkward so we have a lot in common. You just have to find someone that embraces your awkwardness, and it's definitely doable. The worst thing you can do is try hiding your awkwardness, because I guarantee you someone will be attracted to it whether it's in person or online

I get that a lot, that I overthink things a lot. But I have also not thought enough too, and that doesn't get me anywhere either. I have never been able to sign that happy medium. Thank you though, I appreciate it
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You just got to be confident and tell them you're a popular meme on a video game message board.

But really, online dating sucks and it's more the system than you. There are tons of quality guys out there that can't meet women, especially if they are introverted or awkward.

If you have patience, you can find girls overseas pretty easily, though.

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