Current Events > If you are a virgin how old are you?

(+) Yeah! (+)

27; lack of interest
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TeaMilk posted...

25

Can't get penis to fit

Omg! A female virgin over 16? That's rare as f***

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I'm 39 but not a Virgin. I've only had sex once though, and that was over 10 years ago, by a stripper in a strip club.

I just don't get out of the house much snd all my friends (most) already have families.


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SuperVegitoFAN posted...

What about those, that are fine with their situation? Or downright prefer it.

They are lying to themselves.

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Artillatron9 posted...

Omg! A female virgin over 16? That's rare as f***

What about that post makes you think female?

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Conflict posted...

Prostitution would not help his problems. I don't know why you guys keep posting this dumb shit

STEROLIZER posted...

How would it not?

Virginity isn't my problem. It's the fact that I'm unwanted. I have decades of trauma and abuse built up in my mind telling me that I'm worthless to everyone.

What I want is to be wanted. I want to be loved. Hiring a prostitute would drop a label, and give a new experience, but at the cost of reinforcing the issues that are keeping me alone. I would know she wouldn't want to be with me, I would she's only doing it for money(duh). All I'd get out of that is feeling guilty over having used someone that way, and worse self esteem after. I honestly don't think I'd benefit at all from that situation.

Aside from that option, no other opportunities have occured. All I can think is that I'm not good enough. That I can't compare to other men. The only reason I ever focused so much on being a virgin is because of the sheer number of sex/dating topics that appear daily. It's just a constant reminder that they're better/more desirable than I am. It's what it represents, that those people are desirable and I'm not.

Maybe getting a gf, or hooking up would help adjust that outlook, maybe it wouldn't. Idk, because I've never had the opportunity to find out. I just know that I'd be a bit happier knowing that at some level, someone wanted to be with me.

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Does virginity come back if you dont have sex for long enough?

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Also, just to clarify. Based on the posts of other older virgins here, it seems a lack of that type of intimacy gives people a specific negative mindframe. I'm very guilty of using that as an excuse to gripe though.

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KogaSteelfang posted...

Virginity isn't my problem. It's the fact that I'm unwanted. I have decades of trauma and abuse built up in my mind telling me that I'm worthless to everyone.

What I want is to be wanted. I want to be loved. Hiring a prostitute would drop a label, and give a new experience, but at the cost of reinforcing the issues that are keeping me alone. I would know she wouldn't want to be with me, I would she's only doing it for money(duh). All I'd get out of that is feeling guilty over having used someone that way, and worse self esteem after. I honestly don't think I'd benefit at all from that situation.

Aside from that option, no other opportunities have occured. All I can think is that I'm not good enough. That I can't compare to other men. The only reason I ever focused so much on being a virgin is because of the sheer number of sex/dating topics that appear daily. It's just a constant reminder that they're better/more desirable than I am. It's what it represents, that those people are desirable and I'm not.

Maybe getting a gf, or hooking up would help adjust that outlook, maybe it wouldn't. Idk, because I've never had the opportunity to find out. I just know that I'd be a bit happier knowing that at some level, someone wanted to be with me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/ <-- post your story here, copy and paste it if you must. You'll get help from others who have been there, done that, and survived to tell the tale.

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If you are sick of being a virgin and want to change:

• Join a gym, both a traditional lifting gym where you can go on your own time & a fitness gym like crossfit or jiu jitsu or something. I highly recommend a large MMA style gym that offers jiu jitsu, boxing, muay thai, and wrestling as well as conditioning classes.
• Stop respecting women. This doesn't mean hate woman, it just means respect yourself more. When you put women on a pedestal you just simp yourself into the friendzone. Be confident, talk to them, but show very little interest in them. Talk about yourself more, when they talk about themselves pretend not to listen - only recite back a portion of it and go about your way.
• Clean yourself up. Whatever money you have should go into your appearance. Nice car. Nice cloths. Nice apartment/furniture. Do NOT spend money on women, spend it on yourself. Women will actually appreciate that, and want to be near the you because they associate these things w/ success.

If you get into decent shape for your age, appear confident & desirable - then the women will come. You can do it inside of a year depending upon how much money you have. Keep in mind that loving yourself doesn't mean you can't also love somebody else, but you must put yourself and your needs first in order to achieve that love. Once obtained, then you can start compromising if you wish.

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STEROLIZER posted...

If you are sick of being a virgin and want to change:

* Join a gym, both a traditional lifting gym where you can go on your own time & a fitness gym like crossfit or jiu jitsu or something. I highly recommend a large MMA style gym that offers jiu jitsu, boxing, muay thai, and wrestling as well as conditioning classes.
* Stop respecting women. This doesn't mean hate woman, it just means respect yourself more. When you put women on a pedestal you just simp yourself into the friendzone. Be confident, talk to them, but show very little interest in them. Talk about yourself more, when they talk about themselves pretend not to listen - only recite back a portion of it and go about your way.
* Clean yourself up. Whatever money you have should go into your appearance. Nice car. Nice cloths. Nice apartment/furniture. Do NOT spend money on women, spend it on yourself. Women will actually appreciate that, and want to be near the you because they associate these things w/ success.

If you get into decent shape for your age, appear confident & desirable - then the women will come. You can do it inside of a year depending upon how much money you have. Keep in mind that loving yourself doesn't mean you can't also love somebody else, but you must put yourself and your needs first in order to achieve that love. Once obtained, then you can start compromising if you wish.

I love how none of this true, otherwise I would be the proof it works, it doesn't.

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LordYeezus posted...

26.

I'm broke, only 5"4 & mentally ill.

Try concentrating on just one problem at a time. I'd suggest the "broke" portion. Sell what you can and take a risk on an investment. Bitcoin seems stable, but it can really be anything at all. If you need to "get rich quick" then take the leap my man. If it works out for you then your mental health will improve dramatically. If it doesn't, well, at least you tried - the effort alone will probably leave you in a better place than you are now.

For instance. Move into your car, sublet your apartment out. Work double shifts at whatever job you have so that when you do need to sleep you'll pass out in the backseat of your vehicle immediatly. If you can sublet your room out for lets say 800 bucks, and working doubleshifts collects you at least 3k a month then thats about 4k a month. Do this for 6 months and now you have 20k. Place it on Bitcoin (or whatever) watch it double, take it out, and thats 40k.

Quit all your jobs, pay a couple of months rent up front. Hire a physical trainer (basically a paid friend) just workout like a mad man for two months and get into decent shape. Use that trainer like a therapist as well. You should still have like 30k left.

Move to China where 5'4 foreigners are in high demand. Get a job a Chinese tech company...they foreigners just because it looks good to their international investors. There is an entire market over there called "rent a foreigner" where chinese companies take nom-chinese people, put them in suits, and pay them to sit at the office and do nothing.

Marry that hot Asian girl, learn some chinese, enjoy your life. Even move back to America, as I'm sure the girl would love her newfound citizenship. Use the bullshit work experience you picked up in China to get a legit job in Silicone Valley doing something you are actually good at...like community management work for videogames or something.

Summary:
Your mental health will dissipate with steady sex, and a positive future outlook on life, so don't even worry about it. You ain't ever getting taller. So go make that money and move somewhere in which your physical attributes are infact desirable. Go get it dude.

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neverwin posted...

I love how none of this true, otherwise I would be the proof it works, it doesn't.

Worked for me. Well I was always in shape, but like, girls have reverse beer goggles. I was always built like a rock. Tall, abs, athletic, and actual high school & collegiate star athlete. However, I was an awkward nerd. I didn't know how to dress, talk, behave, etc.

I use to look myself in the mirror and be like, WTF is wrong with me, I look like an abercrombie model. But all girls saw was a nerdy loser.

Truth be told I cheated a bit, and started going clubbing where none of my awkwardness mattered, and drunk girls were only looking at my physical attributes. However, even that took a while. I use to hide in the corner, and whenever a girl would talk to me I'd sabotage myself and dip out. It took getting "taken advantage of" by some drunken college girl to finally loosen up.

I started going to the club every night, tossing my glasses in my pocket, and going out to the dance floor and acting a fool. Girls came. However, I was still too self-conscious to actually chat with them. I use to go straight to the dance floor, and just start tapping girls shoulders and asking them to dance. I got real good at it. Would make our with several girls a night, but outside the club I couldn't get a single girl to look at me.

I was just too awkward. Once a girl got to know me I was immediately unattractive. I was just too nice. I was basically a doormat that didn't offer her anything in return. I wasn't rich, I couldn't give her status, and I didn't make her feel butterflies because I just wasn't sexy in anything but appearance...and if you arent emotionally sexy, then eventually a girl isn't going to view you as physically attractive anymore either.

Thus, I started being more confident. I started acting like I was somebody. I started being arrogant. I loved myself, and I left everyone know it. The girls never stopped coming, they still haven't. It's all about appearance - girls need to know that you are a "catch", they are going to look at you like some expensive purse to show off, so don't fight it, just be the purse. If she's out looking for Chanel, then be Gucci.

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STEROLIZER posted...

Worked for me. Well I was always in shape, but like, girls have reverse beer goggles. I was always built like a rock. Tall, abs, athletic, and actual high school & collegiate star athlete. However, I was an awkward nerd. I didn't know how to dress, talk, behave, etc.

I use to look myself in the mirror and be like, WTF is wrong with me, I look like an abercrombie model. But all girls saw was a nerdy loser.

Truth be told I cheated a bit, and started going clubbing where none of my awkwardness mattered, and drunk girls were only looking at my physical attributes. However, even that took a while. I use to hide in the corner, and whenever a girl would talk to me I'd sabotage myself and dip out. It took getting "taken advantage of" by some drunken college girl to finally loosen up.

I started going to the club every night, tossing my glasses in my pocket, and going out to the dance floor and acting a fool. Girls came. However, I was still too self-conscious to actually chat with them. I use to go straight to the dance floor, and just start tapping girls shoulders and asking them to dance. I got real good at it. Would make our with several girls a night, but outside the club I couldn't get a single girl to look at me.

I was just too awkward. Once a girl got to know me I was immediately unattractive. I was just too nice. I was basically a doormat that didn't offer her anything in return. I wasn't rich, I couldn't give her status, and I didn't make her feel butterflies because I just wasn't sexy in anything but appearance.

Thus, I started being more confident. I started acting like I was somebody. I started being arrogant. I loved myself, and I left everyone know it. The girls never stopped coming, they still haven't. It's all about appearance - girls need to know that you are a "catch", they are going to look at you like some expensive purse to show off, so don't fight it, just be the purse. If she's out looking for Chanel, then be Gucci.

Evolving like that works for some people, it's not a universal truth though

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MedeaLysistrata posted...

Evolving like that works for some people, it's not a universal truth though

I mean, its a journey.

I still get stuck in my head thinking of all the girls I could of had sex with. I use to have girls throw themselves at me - like I'd have girls invite me over to their rooms, and somehow I'd still end up friendzoning myself. I had a girl actually take off her cloths immediately upon entering her room once, and then invite me into the shower - and somehow, against all odds I still found a way to friendzone myself before sex happened. It not just physical - it is how you act. It is the aura that your portray. Your presence creates the atmosphere, which is used to set the mood.

I wouldn't consider myself a ladies man by any means. I still somehow find myself overwhelmed at times, and reverting to my previous simpy behavior (cost me foursome in Vegas) - my personality is just like all of you guys at my core. It takes a conscious effort to portray myself as "Top Shit" - but for the past 12 years I've been able to have sex with at least 4 different woman a year, granted I was not in a committed relationship. If you want me to give an actual number, I'd say its something like 40-45 women.

But yea, I still have my relapses, self doubts, and dry spots. You just have to keep on trying my man. Keep picking yourself up, keep reinventing yourself.

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That's kind of the motto I live by. It's why women are attracted to men who ignore them. No matter where I go wrong, as long as I based my various reinventions and strategies around this concept, I seem to be able to always "right the horse"

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STEROLIZER posted...

I mean, its a journey.

I still get stuck in my head thinking of all the girls I could of had sex with. I use to have girls throw themselves at me - like I'd have girls invite me over to their rooms, and somehow I'd still end up friendzoning myself. I had a girl actually take off her cloths immediately upon entering her room once, and then invite me into the shower - and somehow, against all odds I still found a way to friendzone myself before sex happened. It not just physical - it is how you act. It is the aura that your portray. Your presence creates the atmosphere, which is used to set the mood.

I wouldn't consider myself a ladies man by any means. I still somehow find myself overwhelmed at times, and reverting to my previous simpy behavior (cost me foursome in Vegas) - my personality is just like all of you guys at my core. It takes a conscious effort to portray myself as "Top Shit" - but for the past 12 years I've been able to have sex with at least 4 different woman a year, granted I was not in a committed relationship. If you want me to give an actual number, I'd say its something like 40-45 women.

But yea, I still have my relapses, self doubts, and dry spots. You just have to keep on trying my man. Keep picking yourself up, keep reinventing yourself.

Uh... I know from browsing here that some people want many notches on their belt as a goal. I guess if that's your goal it's fine, but after taking that journey, why did you stop and settle at access to women and not just a wife?

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27. There are so many reasons why.

• Struggled with depression since freshman year of high school, and as a fun side effect I really missed out on learning a lot of the social skills most people have
• Said depression lead to me dropping out of college after the first year, further missing out on social experiences
• I did finally return to college and graduate but I commuted instead of living on or near campus so I never bothered to really get involved with anything
• Still live with my parents at 27 and with no likely prospects of a full time job that won't be changing in the near future
• I'm 5'11 and probably pushing 240 pounds now
• I'm losing my hair already which is just another cherry on top
• Have no friends or social life to speak of other than this board and some Discord servers
• Social anxiety combined with the lack of social skills leaves me pretty much unable to really connect with anybody
• Personality of a block of wood so I can't even fall back on that to make up for being an unattractive, poor, fat sack of shit

It's just never gonna happen and I've accepted that.

MedeaLysistrata posted...

Uh... I know from browsing here that some people want many notches on their belt as a goal. I guess if that's your goal it's fine, but after taking that journey, why did you stop and settle at access to women and not just a wife?

I was engaged twice. The first didn't work out because I thought being engaged meant that we were equals. I once again became too nice, started putting her needs above my own, and she eventually just lost attraction got bored of me.

I'm engaged currently, and I am living and dying by the concept of Hypergamy, so it's going all right. However, I long for a time when I'll no longer have to always portray myself as superior. I'd like to be on equal ground at some point, but every time I've tried its caused great turmoil and almost led to a demise in the relationship. Things like trying to talk about my feelings, or wanting to open up about my past trauma, being sad/depressed, or when I lost my job due to Covids - these things were portrayed as weakness.

Men who are successful with women do NOT open up about their feelings, because they rightfully don't trust women to be able to handle them - women tend to negatively judge men for whatever it is they decide to share. This is why you always hear women complain that "men don't talk about their feelings" because the ones that do get friendzoned. The ones that don't are the ones women are attracted to - its an allure of mystery and strength.

If you open up to your girlfriend and start talking about how sad you are, or how hopeless you feel her instincts are going to kick in, and she's going to subconsciously start doubting you as a long term mate. It is what it is.

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DarthAragorn posted...

27. There are so many reasons why.

* Struggled with depression since freshman year of high school, and as a fun side effect I really missed out on learning a lot of the social skills most people have
* Said depression lead to me dropping out of college after the first year, further missing out on social experiences
* I did finally return to college and graduate but I commuted instead of living on or near campus so I never bothered to really get involved with anything
* Still live with my parents at 27 and with no likely prospects of a full time job that won't be changing in the near future
* I'm 5'11 and probably pushing 240 pounds now
* I'm losing my hair already which is just another cherry on top
* Have no friends or social life to speak of other than this board and some Discord servers
* Social anxiety combined with the lack of social skills leaves me pretty much unable to really connect with anybody
* Personality of a block of wood so I can't even fall back on that to make up for being an unattractive, poor, fat sack of shit

It's just never gonna happen and I've accepted that.

Join a gym. Save your money. Spend the money on yourself. Treat life as if its a movie, and you are an actor. The part you are playing is that of a confident, STOIC, badass.

I bolded stoic, because thats the personality that "blocks of wood" need to portray to appear sexy and desirable to women. Stoicism is the practice of both being indifferent to the things that are happening around you, and realizing that due to this indifference whatever negative thoughts the plague you arent really all that meaningful - therefore they don't matter.

Try this: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6s4mfa/i_have_been_practicing_stoicism_for_3_years_now/

If thats too confusing then just start acting like you don't actually care - and then you wont. That's attractive.

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tremain07 posted...

self esteem issues? apathy issues? social interaction issues?

Those 3. Im 34.

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Didnt know you were engaged @STEROLIZER , I guess I was just curious about why someone would go through self development and not go all the way to white picket fence endgame.


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I like how people are trying to "fix" others in this thread. there's nothing to fix, a lot of them have stated that they're not interested

A lot of the reasons why it's hard to improve is because of social skills. social skills is not an attribute that you can accumulate. You either have it or you don't, it is something that you are born with. If you think otherwise, remember something. There are no social skills classes, social skills do not grow on trees. There's no way you can improve them.
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Chunkey Simmons posted...

I like how people are trying to "fix" others in this thread. there's nothing to fix, a lot of them have stated that they're not interested

Not a good enough answer for everyone it seems

Chunkey Simmons posted...

A lot of the reasons why it's hard to improve is because of social skills. social skills is not an attribute that you can accumulate. You either have it or you don't, it is something that you are born with. If you think otherwise, remember something. There are no social skills classes, social skills do not grow on trees. There's no way you can improve them.

Are Introvert/Extrovert a born trait? Anyhow, i know that in my own case atleast, that being social (even just with Family which is really the only place i am from time to time) is mentally draining... And thats JUST with Family

Trying a romantic relationship, would be hella harder, and far more draining.

I have Aspergers myself, so that might be involved (Certainly with some, but i dont know if its everything), but being alone with my Guinea Pigs is relaxing. Being around family can be fun, but its not relaxing in the least.

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tremain07 posted...

I have a legit question, how do you know if you're autistic? like are their any online tests to take for it for those of use who dont have money or transportation to get face time with a doctor?

Either being diagnosed by a professional or pure happan chance most of the time. From my personal experience, I didnt know I had it until my late twenties.

As such while casual talk with woman isnt a problem for me advancing the relationship beyond that I honestly have no idea. Doesn't help that it's generally something guys are expected to know. Media romanticizes it in a unrealistic manner, and any guys who try to do so teach it proper outside of locker rooms are viewed negatively.

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I'm not a virgin but I do feel like I should be participating in this thread, as I am very socially awkward
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Holy shit....

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I'm 35

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Conflict posted...

Chunkey Simmons posted...

A lot of the reasons why it's hard to improve is because of social skills. social skills is not an attribute that you can accumulate. You either have it or you don't, it is something that you are born with. If you think otherwise, remember something. There are no social skills classes, social skills do not grow on trees. There's no way you can improve them.

Lol this is complete bullshit. Do not post this blatantly false garbage again, it's very dangerous and people might actually believe it.

go to google and look up "classes on social skills"

you won't find anything
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Chunkey Simmons posted...

I like how people are trying to "fix" others in this thread. there's nothing to fix, a lot of them have stated that they're not interested

A lot of the reasons why it's hard to improve is because of social skills. social skills is not an attribute that you can accumulate. You either have it or you don't, it is something that you are born with. If you think otherwise, remember something. There are no social skills classes, social skills do not grow on trees. There's no way you can improve them.

This is false and self defeating thinking. You can improve your social skills. It's just takes practice, and a willingness to want to improve. Seek out others to help you, there are support groups for this. Find someone in your city, become friends, and go practice together.

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Prismsblade posted...

Either being diagnosed by a professional or pure happan chance most of the time. From my personal experience, I didnt know I had it until my late twenties.

As such while casual talk with woman isnt a problem for me advancing the relationship beyond that I honestly have no idea. Doesn't help that it's generally something guys are expected to know. Media romanticizes it in a unrealistic manner, and any guys who try to do so teach it proper outside of locker rooms are viewed negatively.

This guy gets it.

The Aspergers/Austitic folk I've seen heard about self-improving in order to attract a mate typically do so by playing a character. Treating it like a form of cosplay. Overtime the "confident Wall Street latin lover" or whatever the fuck rubs off on then to some degree.


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Conflict posted...

Obviously there are no classes on social skills. To think they can't be improved is a complete farce

What's your solution then? Start talking to people? Give me a break lmao
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STEROLIZER posted...

Chunkey Simmons posted...

I like how people are trying to "fix" others in this thread. there's nothing to fix, a lot of them have stated that they're not interested

A lot of the reasons why it's hard to improve is because of social skills. social skills is not an attribute that you can accumulate. You either have it or you don't, it is something that you are born with. If you think otherwise, remember something. There are no social skills classes, social skills do not grow on trees. There's no way you can improve them.

This is false and self defeating thinking. You can improve your social skills. It's just takes practice, and a willingness to want to improve. Seek out others to help you, there are support groups for this. Find someone in your city, become friends, and go practice together.

That's really not true. Anyone can talk. But not everyone has the wit. What do you do if you don't know what to say? You can't just ramble about nonsense. If you have no wit, you have no wit. If just talking works, how do you know you're improving? Is the girl going to give you a an annual review of how you did? Hell no. You won't even know if she's interested or not. And yes I do want to improve and learn. You just can't learn something that is unlearnable. Name one person who went from being a socially awkward dude to a stud.
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Conflict posted...

People have learned social cues from past mistakes, so yes. Talking to people does help. You gain knowledge and experience, and it also helps to get feedback and criticism. Sorry buddy, what you're saying is completely false. The more likely reality is you just don't want help

I do want help, I already stated that. You must have missed it.you just mentioned social cues, another thing you really can't learn. You either have it or you don't. If you have social cues, then maybe, just maybe you can learn social skills. But if you don't have one you certainly can't have the other.
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Chunkey Simmons posted...

What's your solution then? Start talking to people? Give me a break lmao

This self defeating behavior is why you can't get a date dude. It's not that you aren't good enough to attract others, it's that for whatever reason you go out of your way to present yourself in an unattractive manner.

You need to self improve yourself. How can you be good enough for others if you aren't even good enough for yourself?

Giving up, and just waiting to die is NOT the answer.

I suggest finding a friend like yourself. And creating a game between eachother. Put up money or games as bets. Who can talk to the most people at a mall. Who can hold the longest conversation at a bar, etc.

Do it together. Have a conversation between yourselves. Try to bring a third pay into it. Don't do it alone.

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Chunkey Simmons posted...

That's really not true. Anyone can talk. But not everyone has the wit. What do you do if you don't know what to say? You can't just ramble about nonsense. If you have no wit, you have no wit. If just talking works, how do you know you're improving? Is the girl going to give you a an annual review of how you did? Hell no. You won't even know if she's interested or not. And yes I do want to improve and learn. You just can't learn something that is unlearnable. Name one person who went from being a socially awkward dude to a stud.

Myself.


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Not a virgin but I'm single by choice. Relationships just isn't for me.

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When I was younger I was skinny jacked too, but it didn't really get me any extra attention from the ladies.

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40. Its tough. woe is me

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28 forgot my own age for a moment lol

too Mentally ill to bang

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KogaSteelfang posted...

37.
Lack of social skills, social anxiety, depression, low self esteem, long term physical and mental abuse has seemingly broken me to the point that I can't believe anyone would ever want me(in any form, not just sex).

Though, I'm doing better if I don't wallow in it. So that's the route I'm trying to take, but it's a hard habit to break, and tons of topics/posts here still bother me.

Glad to see youre still around! Sorry the topics still sting though

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Kanaya413 posted...

Glad to see youre still around! Sorry the topics still sting though

Hey, nice to see you too. It's still a sensitive subject for sure, but I don't allow myself to wallow any more. Once I start feeling that way I stop posting.

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Even fat ugly women are able to get laid. What's with you guys?

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33.

I'm sure if I put my mind to it, I could get laid. But I'm just so apathetic about it. Like it's not a priority or goal for me. And I think I'm content with my life otherwise.

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GS4Life posted...

Yeah add Aspergers to my list and the root cause of social anxiety/depression/low self-esteem

Worked on managing it over the years but I feel like an old dog that isn't going to learn many new tricks so I'm not getting my hopes up on a relationship/sex

This

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