Current Events > Had a wellness check a few days ago. Now, I have to move out.

(+) Yeah! (+)

An IRL friend asked for a wellness check since I didn't answer the phone, To be fair, they were calling from an unknown number and I usually don't pick up because of so many scam callers these days. Anyways, two police officers came to the house and asked if everything was okay. Unfortunately, my parents were home so they found out. When the police officers left, my parents did not ask me if everything was alright or if I was fine. It was nothing but disappointment. The first words to come out of their mouths was concern about what the neighbors would think and our family's reputation in the neighborhood. Then, they accused my diagnosis of clinical depression to be nothing but attention seeking. Finally, they talked about how I have nothing to be upset about and I need to get over myself and get it together for school. My parents are getting older so they want me to be successful so that I can help take care and support them.

I don't think they actually care about my personal well being. I was involved in a car accident last year and when I called them, they did not ask me if I or anyone else involved was alright. I was instantly blamed and called a disappointment. There has been many incidents where I was hurt or whatever but they would just not express any concern at all for me. My family is not supportive which is why I think it's best for me to get an apartment and get out of my parent's house as it is a toxic environment. I don't really talk about my youth a lot and there's a reason for that. There's the molestation incident and then there's the abusive household I grew up in. I was always told that I had no free will or choice. My parents owned me and my life. They gave birth to me and they could easily end me if I stepped out of line. That was the motto.

As a young child, I often watched my sister be beaten and chocked into unconsciousness whenever she acted out of line. Her screams and cries for help filled the house late into the night many times. My sister was abusive in her own way. She even used to beat her ex bf's dog which is probably why they broke up but not even she deserved to be treated like that. I never wanted that to happen to me so I studied hard in school and stayed out of all trouble. My classmates often asked me why I never spoke. I never said the truth but it was out of fear of what my parents would do they found out I said something they didn't like. Even by doing that, I still ran into problems. There were times where I said something that made my mother upset so my father would come into my room while I was asleep and throw me out of my bed. Some nights, I was forced to go without dinner as a lesson.

Going into adulthood, I still ran into problems. My mother doesn't like white people for instance. Recently, I was dating a really sweet girl. Thought I hit the lottery with her. She was a big fan of video games and anime like myself. She also worked as a model so she was very pretty and very sweet. The nicest person you could meet. She made me happy which is the important thing but she was white and my mother hated that. Since my brother and sister are deemed "lost causes" in the romance department, my mother keeps pushing for me to date and marry a black woman. She thinks black people should only date each other. She also wants her grandchildren to look like her. She called my ex out of her name several times and was overall very nasty to her. It made my ex feel uncomfortable and unwanted by my family. My ex has always had terrible anxiety issues so eventually, this was too much for her and she broke it off with me. While this made me highly upset, my mother loved to hear the news. Saying I can do much better than "that crazy white girl" and find a nice black woman.

With an apartment, I'm just hoping to find some resemblance of peace. It would be nice to be able to eat lunch on a Sunday without being harassed since that's forbidden in my family. It would be nice to eat the cooking of my partner without my mother harassing me about it. Saying all kinds of wild stuff like how they poisoned my food and whatnot. It would nice not to be called a loser for decorating my room with stuff that I like such as movie/game posters for example.

Anyways, that's all I got. I could go on about what it was like for me growing up since I've barely scratched the surface but what's important is that I should try to leave this house sooner than later.

What happened to your other account?

Fucking Jesus Christ dude get out as soon as you can and find a good therapist.

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Scarecrow17 posted...

My family is not supportive which is why I think it's best for me to get an apartment and get out of my parent's house as it is a toxic environment. I don't really talk about my youth a lot and there's a reason for that.

This is probably the best course of action + some therapy if you can afford it. Sorry man. Youll definitely feel better once you move out - maybe even some reconciliation can even happen way further down the line after you establish yourself in however you wanna go through life years later.

but for now its best to think of moving my forward and striving to get help by talking more about these things - just get yourself outta there and just start living to ground yourself again

Scarecrow17 posted...

It would be nice to be able to eat lunch on a Sunday without being harassed since that's forbidden in my family.

.....wut

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Scarecrow17 posted...

My parents are getting older so they want me to be successful so that I can help take care and support them.

Fuck that. You didn't ask to get brought into this world. Your purpose is your own. You don't have an obligation to take care of them.
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Tryhaptaward posted...

What happened to your other account?

I kept coming back here after saying I wouldn't so I thought it would be best to close it for the time being. No loss, I would say.

WrestlinFan posted...

Fucking Jesus Christ dude get out as soon as you can and find a good therapist.

I had a good therapist but we ended our sessions back in April. Partly due to COVID taking off and he thought I made significant progress. Even he recommended I move out but I just didn't have the money to do so. Now, I do.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


I agree, Staying in this situation is holding me back at this point and if I truly want to become better, removing myself from this situation is the best option. I will admit that I'm nervous since this would be a first for me.

FrankJaegr posted...

This is probably the best course of action + some therapy if you can afford it. Sorry man. Youll definitely feel better once you move out - maybe even some reconciliation can even happen way further down the line after you establish yourself in however you wanna go through life years later.

but for now its best to think of moving my forward and striving to get help by talking more about these things - just get yourself outta there and just start living to ground yourself again

I agree. I also would like to reconcile eventually. My brother just had a child with a woman of a different race and while some people in my family have mixed feelings about it, I want to be very supportive of this child as he grows up. Most importantly, I want to make sure what happened to me doesn't happen to him.

_MorningStar posted...

.....wut

Yeah so, in my family, we aren't allowed to eat lunch on a Sunday. From what I was told, it's wrong and even evil to do so. I cannot explain the logic behind this myself.

harley2280 posted...

Fuck that. You didn't ask to get brought into this world. Your purpose is your own. You don't have an obligation to take care of them.

Right, and I wouldn't have minded helping my parents out every now and then once they're much older and have a hard time taking care of themselves. When the expectation is that I have be successful with a good job so that they can be taken care of, it doesn't sit right.

Scarecrow17 posted...

Yeah so, in my family, we aren't allowed to eat lunch on a Sunday. From what I was told, it's wrong and even evil to do so. I cannot explain the logic behind this myself.

I assume its based in religion? But if thats the case it would make more sense for the rule to be that you have to fast all day, not just for lunch, lol.

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What is your family's country of origin?

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your parents sound fuckin horrible...they care more about their image with strangers than their own child...Fuck them. Im sorry you gotta go through all this TC. whatever ends up happening stay on here if you need to talk or anything.

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harley2280 posted...

Fuck that. You didn't ask to get brought into this world. Your purpose is your own. You don't have an obligation to take care of them.

As a parent, I wholeheartedly agree with this. It's our job as parents to love our kids enough and raise them so that they would offer because they truly want to not because they feel obligated if the situation ever ended up in a scenario where we would need their help.

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how is that even a thing? I pick up like maybe 10% of calls that I get and sometimes I don't return family calls for a day or two. I've never had anyone wellness check me.

Sorry to hear that in any case.

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Shablagoo posted...

I assume its based in religion? But if thats the case it would make more sense for the rule to be that you have to fast all day, not just for lunch, lol.

I'm honestly not sure what it's based in. Maybe the church my parents attended while growing up enforced that rule but I've never heard of any Christianity church making that a rule before. This was in Florida however.

Jackal4 posted...

What is your family's country of origin?

United States. We're from Florida.

VipaGTS posted...

your parents sound fuckin horrible...they care more about their image with strangers than their own child...Fuck them. Im sorry you gotta go through all this TC. whatever ends up happening stay on here if you need to talk or anything.

When the first words that came out of their mouths were concern about what the neighbors would think and how it would affect their reputation, I was appalled. Who really cares what strangers think especially when it comes to the health of your loved ones. I appreciate your words.

Machete posted...

how is that even a thing? I pick up like maybe 10% of calls that I get and sometimes I don't return family calls for a day or two. I've never had anyone wellness check me.

Sorry to hear that in any case.

No clue. I even explained to the police that I don't pick up unknown calls. My friend didn't leave a voicemail so I had no way of knowing that she was trying to contact me. She should have called me from her own phone. I would have recognized the number and picked up. It's nice of her to worry about my well being but she really should just call or text me from her phone next time.

Going to start checking out a few apartments tomorrow and throughout the week. Hope this goes well.

Good luck, your parents are fucking insane. I hope you can get out and get on your feet

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Scarecrow17 posted...

An IRL friend asked for a wellness check since I didn't answer the phone, To be fair, they were calling from an unknown number and I usually don't pick up because of so many scam callers these days. Anyways, two police officers came to the house and asked if everything was okay. Unfortunately, my parents were home so they found out. When the police officers left, my parents did not ask me if everything was alright or if I was fine. It was nothing but disappointment. The first words to come out of their mouths was concern about what the neighbors would think and our family's reputation in the neighborhood. Then, they accused my diagnosis of clinical depression to be nothing but attention seeking. Finally, they talked about how I have nothing to be upset about and I need to get over myself and get it together for school. My parents are getting older so they want me to be successful so that I can help take care and support them.

I don't think they actually care about my personal well being. I was involved in a car accident last year and when I called them, they did not ask me if I or anyone else involved was alright. I was instantly blamed and called a disappointment. There has been many incidents where I was hurt or whatever but they would just not express any concern at all for me. My family is not supportive which is why I think it's best for me to get an apartment and get out of my parent's house as it is a toxic environment. I don't really talk about my youth a lot and there's a reason for that. There's the molestation incident and then there's the abusive household I grew up in. I was always told that I had no free will or choice. My parents owned me and my life. They gave birth to me and they could easily end me if I stepped out of line. That was the motto.

As a young child, I often watched my sister be beaten and chocked into unconsciousness whenever she acted out of line. Her screams and cries for help filled the house late into the night many times. My sister was abusive in her own way. She even used to beat her ex bf's dog which is probably why they broke up but not even she deserved to be treated like that. I never wanted that to happen to me so I studied hard in school and stayed out of all trouble. My classmates often asked me why I never spoke. I never said the truth but it was out of fear of what my parents would do they found out I said something they didn't like. Even by doing that, I still ran into problems. There were times where I said something that made my mother upset so my father would come into my room while I was asleep and throw me out of my bed. Some nights, I was forced to go without dinner as a lesson.

Going into adulthood, I still ran into problems. My mother doesn't like white people for instance. Recently, I was dating a really sweet girl. Thought I hit the lottery with her. She was a big fan of video games and anime like myself. She also worked as a model so she was very pretty and very sweet. The nicest person you could meet. She made me happy which is the important thing but she was white and my mother hated that. Since my brother and sister are deemed "lost causes" in the romance department, my mother keeps pushing for me to date and marry a black woman. She thinks black people should only date each other. She also wants her grandchildren to look like her. She called my ex out of her name several times and was overall very nasty to her. It made my ex feel uncomfortable and unwanted by my family. My ex has always had terrible anxiety issues so eventually, this was too much for her and she broke it off with me. While this made me highly upset, my mother loved to hear the news. Saying I can do much better than "that crazy white girl" and find a nice black woman.

With an apartment, I'm just hoping to find some resemblance of peace. It would be nice to be able to eat lunch on a Sunday without being harassed since that's forbidden in my family. It would be nice to eat the cooking of my partner without my mother harassing me about it. Saying all kinds of wild stuff like how they poisoned my food and whatnot. It would nice not to be called a loser for decorating my room with stuff that I like such as movie/game posters for example.

Anyways, that's all I got. I could go on about what it was like for me growing up since I've barely scratched the surface but what's important is that I should try to leave this house sooner than later.

Your mom isn't in the right for what she did to your ex but considering in the past and to this very day white supremacists groups and their families and communities of supporters have a history of exploiting, abusing and destroying black lives and that of other minorities, I wouldn't hold it against her. She's probably been a victim herself, lived through some fucked up shit and was conditioned to hate as a defense mechanism.

damn i am sorry to hear you have to deal with so much crazy bullshit tc. it's very sad that your parents aren't supportive of you and you definitely deserve much better

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Drpooplol posted...

Good luck, your parents are fucking insane. I hope you can get out and get on your feet

Thanks, I hope so, too.

Number090684 posted...

Your mom isn't in the right for what she did to your ex but considering in the past and to this very day white supremacists groups and their families and communities of supporters have a history of exploiting, abusing and destroying black lives and that of other minorities, I wouldn't hold it against her. She's probably been a victim herself, lived through some fucked up shit and was conditioned to hate as a defense mechanism.

She's seen some very messed up thing regarding white supremacy but she would've done this if my ex was Asian or Hispanic. She always favors black people over any other race. She thinks some of the Asian people in our neighborhood are involved in illegal businesses and scams but "it's what those kind of people do".

andel posted...

damn i am sorry to hear you have to deal with so much crazy bullshit tc. it's very sad that your parents aren't supportive of you and you definitely deserve much better

Thanks, I've slowly become accustomed to it over the years. I may document it all in a notebook one day in case my memory gets worse or if something happens to me.

I did not get the opportunity to look at more apartments since today was a bad day. Every day is a bad day but today stuck out. There's always tomorrow.

good luck hope you do and get better

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Yeah fuck parents like that. Get out while you can and hope things get better for you and your mental health.

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Sounds like the Brady Bunch.

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