Current Events > Imagine if Jesus actually came back though

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pinky0926
12/16/20 7:01:46 PM
#1:


He'd be this 5ft6 brown skinned middle eastern jew with strong radical socialist tendencies

that'd be pretty funny tbh

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pure_temper
12/16/20 7:02:50 PM
#2:


nobody knows what he would look like*, and it's easy to have strong radical socialist tendencies when your magical powers make scarcity and supply/demand irrelevant

  • * yes, he most likely was darker skinned. but his appearance according to revelations would be different on account of being god in visible form

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Bananana
12/16/20 7:03:32 PM
#3:


pure_temper posted...
nobody knows what he would look like, and it's easy to have strong radical socialist tendencies when your magical powers make scarcity and supply/demand irrelevant
i think were pretty sure what middle eastern people 2000 years ago looked like

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Lost_All_Senses
12/16/20 7:03:45 PM
#4:


Body shaming Jesus. Well, we know one person not taking up one the 144 thousand seats.

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pegusus123456
12/16/20 7:05:10 PM
#5:


Bananana posted...
i think were pretty sure what middle eastern people 2000 years ago looked like
I don't see why that's relevant. We all know Jesus was born in Colorado and just tp'd to Jerusalem.

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pinky0926
12/16/20 7:05:25 PM
#6:


pure_temper posted...
nobody knows what he would look like*, and it's easy to have strong radical socialist tendencies when your magical powers make scarcity and supply/demand irrelevant


So basically what you're saying is that being kind and generous requires magic powers

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R1masher
12/16/20 7:05:47 PM
#7:


Hed be mad wrinkled... thats old af

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BobLoblaw_
12/16/20 7:05:54 PM
#8:


pure_temper posted...
nobody knows what he would look like*, and it's easy to have strong radical socialist tendencies when your magical powers make scarcity and supply/demand irrelevant

* * yes, he most likely was darker skinned. but his appearance according to revelations would be different on account of being god in visible form
Wrong

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pure_temper
12/16/20 7:10:10 PM
#9:


pinky0926 posted...
So basically what you're saying is that being kind and generous requires magic powers

i mean, the actual point i was making is that it's pointless to legitimize your own views on economics by trying to sneak in some Jesus

you can help the poor without "strong radical socialist tendencies", and Jesus had magical powers that enabled him to create food and healing out of thin air, so of course it's easy to be generous with unlimited resources

america is not such a nation yet consider how much we donate collectively to global efforts/charities

none of this is to say we can't do better, but just to point out how dumb it is to try to piggyback on Jesus this way. he'd have had no conception of socialism, because his entire schpiel was about getting ppl ready for the afterlife where scarcity is no longer a thing.

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monkmith
12/16/20 7:10:51 PM
#10:


i'm picturing some big name televangelists denouncing him as a commie satin.

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pinky0926
12/16/20 7:13:02 PM
#11:


I actually don't think having Jesus's backing on my economic worldview adds any credibility at all because I think religion is very dumb and I don't believe any of it at all and if Jesus ever existed I just reckon he was just the original televangelist/cult leader

but I do find it amusing that he seems like the kind of guy that would believe more in giving to the needy at personal cost and a society that pulls up its poorest, over doing whatever it takes to get ahead etc.

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nfearurspecimn
12/16/20 7:13:40 PM
#12:


He'd probably get treated the same way as when he first came here.

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Paragon21XX
12/16/20 7:17:47 PM
#13:


pinky0926 posted...
He'd be this 5ft6 brown skinned middle eastern jew with strong radical socialist tendencies

that'd be pretty funny tbh
Such a dishonest statement. You have to be generally pro-state to espouse socialism by definition. In fact, Jesus was so apolitical that had absolutely nothing to say about governments or politics at all other than "render unto Caesar" when challenged over the Zealots tax-resistance.

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Smashingpmkns
12/16/20 7:18:38 PM
#14:


The US wouldn't even give him citizenship
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pinky0926
12/16/20 7:20:06 PM
#15:


Paragon21XX posted...
Such a dishonest statement. You have to be generally pro-state to espouse socialism by definition. In fact, Jesus was so apolitical that had absolutely nothing to say about governments or politics at all other than "render unto Caesar" when challenged over the Zealots tax-resistance.

He would very much vouch for you giving up your extra coin to help poor people get healthcare, don't you think?

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pure_temper
12/16/20 7:21:06 PM
#16:


pinky0926 posted...
He would very much vouch for you giving up your extra coin to help poor people get healthcare, don't you think?

he literally used magical powers to heal people of their diseases, what need is there for giving up extra coin for anything when you have magic

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3PiesAndAFork
12/16/20 7:23:43 PM
#17:


Republicans already think he's tall, obese, orange man with fake hair. This would be a real shock.

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pinky0926
12/16/20 7:27:12 PM
#18:


pure_temper posted...
he literally used magical powers to heal people of their diseases, what need is there for giving up extra coin for anything when you have magic

His teachings were not "develop magic powers so you can give an infinity stock to everyone", though. Blessed to give than to receive, etc.

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pinky0926
12/16/20 7:28:07 PM
#19:


Wait a goddamn minute,

are you proudclad? Surely you're proudclad. There's only one user on this entire board who gets this triggered at the mention of the S word

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Paragon21XX
12/16/20 7:40:25 PM
#20:


pinky0926 posted...
He would very much vouch for you giving up your extra coin to help poor people get healthcare, don't you think?
Only in ways that spreads the gospel.

pinky0926 posted...
Wait a goddamn minute,

are you proudclad? Surely you're proudclad. There's only one user on this entire board who gets this triggered at the mention of the S word
Who? Me? Nope. Proudclad turned either atheist or agnostic after being an apologist for so long. Last I've checked, I'm still a Christian.

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pure_temper
12/16/20 7:42:52 PM
#21:


Yeah, that's me, been in my sig this entire time. And as of late I'm pretty partial to socialist causes, just not tankie causes. Karl Marx made some good points and we've implemented some of his ideas already.

In the end anyone can use the Bible to defend any position they want, and they do it because they believe it legitimizes their own position if they can convince others that their most venerated figure also supports that position. In a secular world, it's pointless to me to try to muster up support for something by appealing to religion. And no one who venerates Jesus will change their mind about their economic flavor of choice, because you can jump through any mental gymnastics you want to make Jesus who you want him to be.

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Joeydollaz
12/16/20 7:46:19 PM
#22:


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BobLoblaw_
12/16/20 7:47:08 PM
#23:


He would obliterate modern Christians

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BignutzisBack
12/16/20 7:47:45 PM
#24:


If Jesus comes back I'm immediately moving to Egypt

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Lost_All_Senses
12/16/20 8:26:45 PM
#25:


Joeydollaz posted...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXjK_6PwIIc

Lol. I watched that whole series. Had it's highs and lows. First season was definitely the best.

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