Current Events > At what point do you give up on family?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm out of character on this one fam, not shitposting as a conservatroll for this topic. This is a long read and I can't provide a tl;dr, so if you aren't gonna read it you should probably just leave.

So my sister who is 23, her entire life she has been spoiled. She was given everything she ever asked for and was never abused.

Her whole life she's been a problem. Kicked out of every school she ever attended because she kept assaulting people. (Usually because someone was kissing). Public displays of affection really trigger her. So my mother had to homeschool her.

This led to her becoming very anti-social, and she started spending time on the internet. She would constantly get attention from men, bad attention. She started sexualizing herself for them when she was only 12.

"Well just take the internet away from her"
Easier said than done. Let me tell you how that process usually goes.
We take away her devices, she begins to sneak out at night and get on other peoples devices.
Then we password lock those devices. Here comes the drama. Now she starts breaking shit, screaming, threatening to kill herself repeatedly. She'll even grab a bunch of non-threatening pills and swallow them and then tell us "I just took a bunch of pills! I'm gonna die because you all hate me!" I once had to restrain her while we waited for the cops to show up to take her to a pysch hospital because she was grabbing knives and threatening to kill herself with them.

This goes on days or even weeks and my mother who works full time and supports the whole family just can't take it anymore. She lets her have the internet back.

All the way up to age 18 we had to deal with her trying to date pedophiles over the internet. Anytime we'd stop her or scare a guy away she would say "You all are just trying to ruin my life! I'm going to kill myself!"

Due to her crippling social anxiety(That she blames her family for), she never went outside. So even after becoming an adult she stayed living with our mother, no job and no friends. This proceeded to only escalate her depression and hate for us.

At this point she started coming up with some interesting logic regarding her life and our treatment of her. Listen to this;
"You guys don't love me. Housing, food, internet, gifts, those are all things you're SUPPOSED to give to your kid, so they don't count towards any love."
Officially letting us know that nothing we ever did for her was worth anything.

Her suicide threatening reached such a high level that someone on the internet called the cops on her. It was fun waking up to seeing cops outside my window with fucking shotguns in their hands. Why they fuck are they drawing weapons from a young girl threatening suicide? But that's off topic. She threatens suicide so often that we can't take it seriously anymore. A day doesn't go by where she doesn't say it.

One day we move to Texas. She decides to download Tindr, meets a boy. Things are looking great. She tells us "You guys are the worst family, so I'm moving in with my boyfriends family". At this point, I don't care. This was great news to me.

1 year later we get a call from her boyfriends mother; "Please take your daughter, she is fucking crazy and I cannot deal with her anymore. I do not want her dating my son anymore."

So she comes back to stay with us. Now logically, you would think "Hey, now that she got kicked out of a different family. Maybe she'll realize that she is the problem and will come to appreciate what we do for her." LOL FUCKING NOPE. We went straight back into the problems we had before. Everything is our fault and we ruined her life, nothing is ever her fault.

Now today it has escalated further. She is straight losing her mind. She was screaming at someone over the internet because they were being mean to her, and it's 11pm. So my mother goes over and asks her to stop. My sister goes apeshit, starts screaming at my mom, calling her things that would be moddable here, and then ending it by spitting on her. She spit on her own mother.

Just how much is too much? How can you be completely supported by someone and then blame them for all your problems? How can you treat them like shit when they give you EVERYTHING you have?

And don't bother mentioning therapy. She's seen dozens of therapists. They never help because she always lies to them. She tells them a version of her life that never happened and never shows them the side of her that we see everyday.

I've been begging my mother to kick her out, let her experience what the real world is like when we aren't protecting her. But my mother just won't do it. She's too kind, she thinks her daughter will die if she kicks her out.

But CE, tell me. How long would you put up with this? What would you do?

So, uh, a summary?

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idk man save up and split, tell your sister you love her but you need to go your own way.

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I don't have much advice, but I wish you and your mother the best of luck. It'll get better!
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Cut her off from your family life and kick her out.

She old enough to make her own life

Like you said she have been through many therapy and never heal.

Don't waste your time with people like that.

Life is short.
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Chadwick69 posted...

I'm out of character on this one fam, not shitposting as a conservatroll for this topic.

Oh, okay. Tagged.
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How about you get your own place to live and let your sister rot. If your mother decides to support her then let your mother rot as well. Such an easy solution

Was there ever a clear diagnosis of what could be going on with her?

I mean I see there's some cause and effect here but there could be more to it.

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Is she on the spectrum?

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How do you know for certain she was never abused? It kind of reads that way.

Anyway, she's living in an alternate reality at this point. You can either house her and put up with it, kick her out and cut her off which honestly she is way too far-gone for this to go any way other than horribly, or force her into a psych ward.
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Conflict posted...

cardoor123 posted...

How about you get your own place to live and let your sister rot. If your mother decides to support her then let your mother rot as well. Such an easy solution

Yeah just let all your family members rot. Definitely a great and humane suggestion

While this was really callously delivered, if that's the best and only thing TC can do for his mental health, then that's what he needs to do. It's brutal and heartbreaking, but the decision to carry on or cut losses has to be made.
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Does she even take meds? Looks like some serious mental ailment.

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Conflict posted...

Is TC nidhoggr

who?

Corrupt_Power posted...

How do you know for certain she was never abused? It kind of reads that way.

Lived with her my whole life. She was never touched, my parents aren't the physically abusive type.

JuanCarlos1 posted...

Does she even take meds? Looks like some serious mental ailment.

She's on anti-depressants that she'll randomly decide to stop taking and then get mad at us if we ask her if she's been taking them.

Conflict posted...

Knowing my mom would have to deal with that shit would not be good for my mental health

That's the thing. If it was just me, I'd deal with it. But I cannot stand how she treats my mother. My mother is crying over this all the time. She never did anything to warrant having a child like this.

Chadwick69 posted...

Now logically, you would think "Hey, now that she got kicked out of a different family. Maybe she'll realize that she is the problem and will come to appreciate what we do for her."

I don't know a single person who would think this. That's a ridiculous assumption that goes pretty much exactly against all the evidence you've ever gotten from dealing with her.

To be honest, start recording her tantrums. Just audio, if you can't get video without her seeing and blowing up even more. Then have her committed to a psych ward. She has issues that are not being addressed, and she has shown that she is unwilling to work on them voluntarily with therapy. You either force her via getting her institutionalized, or you kick her to the curb and let her destroy her life on her own.

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