Current Events > New statement on Cyberpunk 2077 from CDPR

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PepsiWithCoke
10/14/20 11:44:31 PM
#1:


"Hey, gamers! We know theres one game left in this generation thats been getting you more pumped than anything else. In fact, this open-world RPG from CD Projekt Red is probably one of the things that has kept you going through this tough year. But we need to just come clean and get this off our backs: Cyberpunk 2077 is not a real game. It was just something we made up to sound cool and interesting in front of you so you would like us and now that lie is spinning completely out of control.
Please dont hate us.
Now, were sure your mad. We know you were counting down the days until you could explore a fully realized Night City as part of the ultra-customizable gameplay youve been seeing in hands-on videos for months. But its a lie. Its all a goddamn lie and were sorry. We just really like when you hang out on the site, and we wanted you to stick around. Thats why we made it up way back in 2012 and got the developer to play along.
This started as a dumb little fib about something we thought you would like and now its become this huge weight on our chest, getting heavier and heavier every day. We just couldnt keep it down anymore without having a panic attack.
We know what you are thinking. The screenshots? The previews? Our art department created it all. We thought we could keep up the charade for a year or two more with a trickle of delays and impressions about the gangs, the dynamic police system, all of it. But in the back of our heads, we always knew that one day, you would expect this game to come out and we would be caught.
Some of this is on you. Why do you think its been delayed so many times? We flirted with the idea of canceling it all together, saying CD Projekt Red had gone bankrupt or something. But then we would have never been free from the manacles of this lie.
We were just insecure, you know? There are so many video game sites out there and weve always kind of felt like outcasts. Talking about Cyberpunk was the first time we ever really felt like we were part of something, like you actually wanted to hear what we had to say. In a way we wanted it to be realthe customizable weapons and slow-motion combat sequences. It all sounded so cool and we didnt want to let you down. Please dont blame us. After all, our intentions were good.
We did this for you, even if we only ended up hurting you.
To be fair you probably should have figured it out years ago. The idea of a sci-fi shooter from the makers of The Witcher series was always a bit of a wish fulfillment fantasy wasnt it? Obviously, were not trying to absolve ourselves of this. But we kind of assumed you would catch on when we claimed Keanu Reeves was going to be in the game. That doesnt make any sense if you just think about it for a second. But we just blurted it out a few months ago, and then all it took was hiring him for a few press appearances and we were in the clear again.
At least, until now.
So, listen, what we are trying to say is: Were very sorry. This video game is never going to come out. It doesnt even exist. Of course, we understand if you never trust us again to deliver honest coverage of the industry. On the plus side, getting this all out there makes us feel like we can finally breathe again without hating ourselves. Were sure youll need some time to process this, and we could use a little time to ourselves to figure out why were like this.
Unfortunately, we also arent able to refund any of your pre-orders. That money is already spent."

https://ogn.theonion.com/gamers-we-need-to-come-clean-cyberpunk-2077-is-just-1845368691

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SevenTenths
10/14/20 11:46:36 PM
#2:


The onion is bad and you should feel bad

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If you do things right, people won't be sure that you have done anything at all.
I Like Toast Alt - https://mikelikesthis.net/ The Blog Is back
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MabusIncarnate
10/14/20 11:47:52 PM
#3:


The Onion

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Ten million dollars on a losing campaign, Twenty million starving and writhing in pain. =~=;
Vicious_Dios Original - https://tinyurl.com/y9fpdoll
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g0ldie
10/14/20 11:48:45 PM
#4:


could you imagine if something like this were true

the rage. THE RAGE

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Wetterdew
10/14/20 11:51:03 PM
#5:


PepsiWithCoke posted...
Hey, gamers! We know theres one game left in this generation thats been getting you more pumped than anything else
True, but what insight about the sequel to BOTW could CD Project red have to offer?

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rip to all the animals killed in wildfires.
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Eliza3
10/14/20 11:53:43 PM
#6:


Release date pushed back to Summer 2077

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The Original Eliza.
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