Current Events > Are you gay?

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Vote.

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Gay, not sure what the picture has to do with anything

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What's it to ya's

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I'm a gay. He's a gay. She's a gay. We're all gay.

I'm not straight, but I don't feel like I even view sex and gender the same as a neurotypical person.

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Idk what I am, never put a label on it. Non-binary person in a relationship with a non-binary person. Hopefully this will be it for the rest of my life. Sexual arousal wise or what I'd watch in porn I just like people and genitals don't really play a part, although last time I was watching regularly it was either gay stuff or chubby sissy guys. Never been with anyone who doesn't have a vagina but that was an anxiety and confidence issue on my part.

hockeybub89 posted...

I'm not straight, but I don't feel like I even view sex and gender the same as a neurotypical person.

Can you elaborate?

I dunno. I fuck dudes but I also still have an interest in women even though it has waned a bit. Feel like it might just be vestige of my repressive youth, screaming "you're not gay! you're not gay!" but idk.

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If I wasn't Asexual...probably.

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ZannoL posted...

Can you elaborate?

You know how they say autistic people are more likely to be trans because they view gender differently? I'm not trans, but I am autistic and view those thing differently than how it seems "normal" people do. I guess I'd be described, if you want to use big weird buzzwords, as like a biromantic asexual. I just chalk it up as thinking funny. I don't know how to explain it in detail.

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I'm.... queer?

I like women primarily, by which I mean feminine or soft-butch appearing cisgender and transgender women. I am honestly not a fan of any genitalia (including my own), but a woman having a penis isn't a dealbreaker for me.

I find some men (primarily feminine men, but occasionally more traditionally masculine men) handsome, but for some reason, the thought of that penis is a dealbreaker for me.

I also have a shockingly low libido. Sometimes I think I might be asexual or near it, but I had someone completely go off into a screeching fit about that, so I don't use the label. I honestly don't like to label myself, because a lot of people get really upset about it, but I don't begrudge anyone who does want to label themselves.

_Rinku_ posted...

I'm.... queer?

I like women primarily, by which I mean feminine or soft-butch appearing cisgender and transgender women. I am honestly not a fan of any genitalia (including my own), but a woman having a penis isn't a dealbreaker for me.

I find some men (primarily feminine men, but occasionally more traditionally masculine men) handsome, but for some reason, the thought of that penis is a dealbreaker for me.

I also have a shockingly low libido. Sometimes I think I might be asexual or near it, but I had someone completely go off into a screeching fit about that, so I don't use the label. I honestly don't like to label myself, because a lot of people get really upset about it, but I don't begrudge anyone who does want to label themselves.

Think I'd just stay away from those easily upset people lol

As for the stereotypical masculine and penis thing, maybe it's because of the stereotype that rough men aren't as cleanly? Idk

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You can be gay and asexual. I find men attractive, exclusively, but I have no desire to have sex with them or anyone else.

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Smackems posted...

Think I'd just stay away from those easily upset people lol

As for the stereotypical masculine and penis thing, maybe it's because of the stereotype that rough men aren't as cleanly? Idk

One of my friends had a friend of hers (who was technically a friend of a friend to me) go nuclear on her because she identified with one label and the other girl thought this was a direct attack on her own identity. Don't get me wrong, I'm what most people would call an SJW, but this other girl is like... militant. Honestly kind of suspected she was a man-hating TERF too.

I don't know if it's a cleanliness thing? idk, I don't personally worry about it too much. I like what I like. Some people get horribly bent out of shape if you don't "disclose" your sexuality or if it's fluid at all (and this has been true for me with LGBTQ+ people, allies, and virulent homophobes).

I kind of wish I could talk to some of my friends about it sometimes, just to sort through some of the attached emotions I have (like, potentially being shunned by my more outwardly queer friends for... whatever reason). I've found an internal peace with who I am, but I'm terrified of people around me not accepting it, if that makes sense.

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_Rinku_ posted...

One of my friends had a friend of hers (who was technically a friend of a friend to me) go nuclear on her because she identified with one label and the other girl thought this was a direct attack on her own identity. Don't get me wrong, I'm what most people would call an SJW, but this other girl is like... militant. Honestly kind of suspected she was a man-hating TERF too.

I don't know if it's a cleanliness thing? idk, I don't personally worry about it too much. I like what I like. Some people get horribly bent out of shape if you don't "disclose" your sexuality or if it's fluid at all (and this has been true for me with LGBTQ+ people, allies, and virulent homophobes).

I kind of wish I could talk to some of my friends about it sometimes, just to sort through some of the attached emotions I have (like, potentially being shunned by my more outwardly queer friends for... whatever reason). I've found an internal peace with who I am, but I'm terrified of people around me not accepting it, if that makes sense.

You don't need that kind of shit in your life. Just let people like that go

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_Rinku_ posted...

I'm.... queer?

My partner described our relationship as a queer one and I'm cool with that. Just don't know what I'd call myself or if it really matters.

It really sucks that you've had people be critical and unpleasant about something that is massively personal and you shouldn't be judged for. I can't pretend to fully understand asexuality or having a low libido as that's very far from my personal experience, but it's not difficult to at least respect it. And from what someone was telling me recently asexuality can exist on a spectrum anyway and it doesn't have to mean you've 100% no interest in sex.

Smackems posted...

You don't need that kind of shit in your life. Just let people like that go

Yeah, I'm not sad to see that chick go lol. I'd basically only see her through the first girl and she always came off snobby and unpleasant.

HarryCaNab posted...

My partner described our relationship as a queer one and I'm cool with that. Just don't know what I'd call myself or if it really matters.

It really sucks that you've had people be critical and unpleasant about something that is massively personal and you shouldn't be judged for. I can't pretend to fully understand asexuality or having a low libido as that's very far from my personal experience, but it's not difficult to at least respect it. And from what someone was telling me recently asexuality can exist on a spectrum anyway and it doesn't have to mean you've 100% no interest in sex.

Yeah, I see a lot of contention over what qualifies as a "queer" relationship too. In your case, two NB people obviously falls under the umbrella of "queer" to me. I've also seen people argue that a cisgender male/female couple where one or both are not heterosexual isn't "queer" which then dips into the rampant bi/panphobia that seems to exist in the community. Similar argument when one or both partners is transgender.

It just... idk, it hurts my soul to see people in-fight like that when there are people that literally want us dead that we should probably unite against, you know?

I'm pan, yeah. And trans on top of it too so, like, double gay

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Eevee-Trainer posted...

I'm pan, yeah. And trans on top of it too so, like, double gay

Oh, wow. I have you tagged as being from the same place I am, so that's gotta be super rough.

Sure am.

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_Rinku_ posted...

Oh, wow. I have you tagged as being from the same place I am, so that's gotta be super rough.

Yeah, still pretty deep in the closet, and I'm in a situation where I probably can't move away from my family for a while yet.

Granted I know how said family would feel if I did come out. So my running plan is basically to move away when I can, do it from a distance, and basically tell them to fuck off if the expected happens. At least by then I'll be self sufficient and can transition and date without having to hear from them.

Though I suppose my sister would be someone I wouldn't cut off. She at one point identified as bi, so while she has kinda fallen towards the religious side of things, I think she'd be okay with it.

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Eevee-Trainer posted...

Yeah, still pretty deep in the closet, and I'm in a situation where I probably can't move away from my family for a while yet.

Granted I know how said family would feel if I did come out. So my running plan is basically to move away when I can, do it from a distance, and basically tell them to fuck off if the expected happens. At least by then I'll be self sufficient and can transition and date without having to hear from them.

Though I suppose my sister would be someone I wouldn't cut off. She at one point identified as bi, so while she has kinda fallen towards the religious side of things, I think she'd be okay with it.

That really sucks. I can't say much else other than I hope it gets better and that you'll be safe.

Thanks, I appreciate it <3

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hockeybub89 posted...

You know how they say autistic people are more likely to be trans because they view gender differently? I'm not trans, but I am autistic and view those thing differently than how it seems "normal" people do. I guess I'd be described, if you want to use big weird buzzwords, as like a biromantic asexual. I just chalk it up as thinking funny. I don't know how to explain it in detail.

Interesting. Thanks for the insight

how can i tell?

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Parappa09 posted...

how can i tell?

Seriously?

??? No. I sell propane.

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