Current Events > I'm kind of scared of this upcoming winter....

(+) Yeah! (+)

We're not suppose to hang out with a bunch of people and I only seem to enjoy most of tv when others are there with me. Not to mention how much I've come to enjoy conversation with others. All my work hobbies are outdoors, I hate indoor housework. Me opioid addiction is giving me diminishing returns. My optimism is still there but it's kind of just floating with nothing to support it.

Typing this out doesn't really stress me out, but how long can that last. How long can optimism last when there's not much logic behind it?

I feel like Im bitching cause I know there's people here who feel nothing in their future that's worth while but also feel the emotional toll of it. But even without that emotional toll weighing on me, it's still troubling. Do a lot of people really just clock out emotionally for the rest of their life? That can't be healthy. Someday this all has to hit me. And that's definitely gonna be in a winter season, when I have nothing to do.

---

It kind of makes you wonder what's the point in trying to keep living anyway if it's going to be like this from now on.

---

Thats what video games are for. Just stay inside and work on the backlog. I'm actually looking forward to their being no or barely any new episodes of TV shows I usually watch so now I can hopefully get some games knocked out.

---

Gamerguymass posted...

Thats what video games are for. Just stay inside and work on the backlog. I'm actually looking forward to their being no or barely any new episodes of TV shows I usually watch so now I can hopefully get some games knocked out.

For the rest of your life?

---

Thats why people are meeting with friends, hooking up and going on road trips on the down low.

I feel like I've emotionally checked out, for the most part, but I like to think of it as being in emotional hibernation

we'll see, though

---

I'm closing on a house in the middle of nowhere next month to ride all this shit out. Taking a full year off before I think about going back to work, looking forward to all the free time after working the last 20 years

Just do it. The government isnt everywhere. They cant enforce what they cant see.
---

PrettyBoyFloyd posted...

For the rest of your life?

I was talking about specifically for this winter as people don't generally go out in the winter as much as summer normally. This thing isn't going to last forever. Even if by some chance we are expected to do all this stuff for years it won't happen. Collectively society will get sick of it and say fuck it survival of the fittest. Not to mention all the restaurants and businesses that will get sick of constantly being on the verge of bankruptcy and just decide to ignore the government and open up back to normal. One way or another we will be back to normal by the end of 2021.

---

Duncanwii posted...

Just do it. The government isnt everywhere. They cant enforce what they cant see.

I have a lung disease. Not nearly as bad as it should at my age, but this could very well tip the scale. I don't have the luxury of thinking carelessly about this pandemic. Which also speaks to my strengths of how it's still not getting to me in a way that breaks me down. The whole country seems more than willing to throw people like me away.

Gamerguymass posted...

Thats what video games are for. Just stay inside and work on the backlog. I'm actually looking forward to their being no or barely any new episodes of TV shows I usually watch so now I can hopefully get some games knocked out.

Appreciate the advice, but video games are also giving me super diminishing returns and they are the prime thing that elevate my opioid addiction. I need a ridiculous amount to sit down and focus on a game without my mind wondering off constantly.

PoundGarden posted...

I'm closing on a house in the middle of nowhere next month to ride all this shit out. Taking a full year off before I think about going back to work, looking forward to all the free time after working the last 20 years

That's dope. I like the idea, but like I was implying, I feel more reliant on others to maintain my sanity than I use to.

---

g0ldie posted...

I feel like I've emotionally checked out, for the most part, but I like to think of it as being in emotional hibernation

we'll see, though

Yeah man. I have no idea how this shit is gonna work. There was a giant shift when I was 28 and kicked my sister out my house >_>. Kind of like, it was building up and once I decided I had to do that, I shut it off. But I was suffocating living with my sister and kids for a year after being on my own for years. I dunno if it's ever gonna turn back on. I did get really rough news about my most loved (fucked up to say, whatever) family member the other day tho. And it gave me that feeling where what I was watching immediately felt meaningless and there was nothing I could do to shake the news. And if I did try to shake it, was I being wrong for that? I dunno if that's real emotion or just faking emotion these days.

---

Fucking look at me

---

I've let go of it all. All my fears. But all my hopes too. I await the winter with great anticipation. The world feels cold and empty, reflecting the depths of my own heart.

Just take each day individually. Take the time to process what you feel. And what you don't feel. It'll do you well to slow down. The world is...changing. You must learn to adapt. And it's ok to feel sad or afraid. Don't let that stop you from living, even if for now you must live in the shadows. The sun will rise again after all.

Probably.

---

BloodMoon7 posted...

I've let go of it all. All my fears. But all my hopes too. I await the winter with great anticipation. The world feels cold and empty, reflecting the depths of my own heart.

I don't have that in me. Summer fun will always be my happy place. Even if that happiness is diminishing. I think my highlight of this year, was paddling out to the middle of a lake on a half sunk kids kayak, cause it was all they left me. I guess a big part of it was how scary it was to me, yet I did it anyway. I'm not confident in my swimming and this thing was literally submerged 80% under water lol. I had like 3 test runs on how Id position myself before I got confident enough to actually paddle out with my hands. Also, it was pitch dark and I only had voices to guide me to them. It was amazing.

---

BloodMoon7 posted...

Just take each day individually. Take the time to process what you feel. And what you don't feel. It'll do you well to slow down. The world is...changing. You must learn to adapt. And it's ok to feel sad or afraid. Don't let that stop you from living, even if for now you must live in the shadows. The sun will rise again after all.

I get this advice for awhile back. But Im 31 and Im kind of pass that. I also been doing the day to day thing since my consciousness. I haven't had a lot of responsibility

---

Lost_All_Senses posted...

I get this advice for awhile back. But Im 31 and Im kind of pass that. I also been doing the day to day thing since my consciousness. I haven't had a lot of responsibility

If you've been living this way, is there much need to worry? If you don't have responsibilities, you have limitless possibility. Maybe not now, with how things are. But one day. 31 is still not old man time. Yet.

---

BloodMoon7 posted...

If you've been living this way, is there much need to worry? If you don't have responsibilities, you have limitless possibility. Maybe not now, with how things are. But one day. 31 is still not old man time. Yet.

I'm worried my mind could become the devil's plaything again. Not in a way Id hurt others, that was never a thing for me. But in a way my thoughts will just devolve again and make me miserable. You see it here all the time. I don't feel above those here that you see hit these bottoms. I been there. I just didn't go online and post it. Luckily that was 3-4 years ago.

---