Current Events > A liberal Marxist atheist Wiccan professor was teaching a class on evolution

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A liberal Marxist atheist Wiccan professor was teaching a class on evolution.

"Now, class, I expect you to take out your Darwin Prayer Beads and repeat after me. Our Darwin, Who Art in Science Heaven...."

At that very moment, an ex-Navy Seal, Marine and ace pilot with six tours of duty and over 1 million confirmed kills (and counting) stood up despite having no legs.

"Darwin recanted Evolution on his deathbed."

The professor giggled that snowflake liberal giggle and replied "that's actually a made-up story by creationists."

The Marine cleared his throat and said "I know for certain."

The professor, then cackling like Hillary Clinton in a pizza parlor, composed himself and replied "do tell, you literal worthless piece of literal trash literally"

The Marine replied, calmly, "Because -I- am Charles Darwin"

Visibly stunned, the professor dropped his chalk, laser pointer, venti chai latte (with skim almond milk) and signed picture of Karl Marx and stormed out of the room.

The Marine marched up to the podium and recited the Constitution from memory. He then led the class in reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, and everyone registered Republican that day.

An eagle named Masks are Tyranny landed on the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk, transforming it into an AR 15 with two bumper stocks. The Marine then took the AR 15 and shot the professor with so many bullets that all that was left was a fine mist.

"That's one million and one" he said calmly, as the class gave him a standing ovation with as minimal social distancing as possible.

Semper Fi

That Marine's name?

General Robert E. Lee

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I started reading this but then got bored and made up a funnier cooler story with Power Rangers....

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That General Robert E. Lee's name?

Albert Einstein

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Man you really like these huh