Current Events > So my wife asked if we can have children now

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm excited since we have no debt and plenty of money, but it's super awkward...

She's a very strict lesbian and refuses to be impregnated by a man, which she was upfront about prior to marriage (in fact I made a topic about it last year)

So I'm the one getting pregnant. Yikes. But the kicker is that she wants to pick a guy she trusts and loves as a friend, and wants him to be black because she's from Ethiopia and she wants a child that looks like her even if the child isn't genetically related. Ok I can do that too.

But I told her I specifically need to get to know the guy and at least have somewhat intimate feelings for him or it won't "feel" right to me (in other words, I want to actually have sex and not artificial insemination), and she was a bit put off about it but agreed to it.

So um, yeah that's a thing.


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DarkRoast posted...

I want to actually have sex and not artificial insemination

This will very likely take multiple attempts, no? I can definitely see why your wife would be hesitant about this

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Bruh

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Oooh, look at miss big shot over here having sex.

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DarkRoast posted...

But I told her I specifically need to get to know the guy and at least have somewhat intimate feelings for him or it won't "feel" right to me (in other words, I want to actually have sex and not artificial insemination)

This is going to end so badly

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Bananana posted...

This will very likely take multiple attempts, no? I can definitely see why your wife would be hesitant about this

She said it has to be basically 3p with her doing all the kissing and whatever. It's weird but whatever floats her boat.

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Ask yourselves if youre mature enough to handle that.

Most people arent. Make sure you know.

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Just get artificially inseminated or

Axiom posted...

This is going to end so badly

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You have plenty of money?

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Axiom posted...

This is going to end so badly

Honestly I think it's fine. We agreed to let me still have sex with guys for fun prior to getting married, and she's been fine with it up to now (though I rarely do it). I'm pretty clear about my bisexuality.

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sex havers get <i>out</i>

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In any case, Terry Crews can have me any time

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DarkRoast posted...

In any case, Terry Crews can have me any time

I'm straight and this is still true

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I hope this is real because it's going to be a shit show and will end up ruining a kids life. Yet the both of you are to short sighted to see that. Not because you want a kid, but because you want to have sex with a man to do it and it will cause a nightmare.

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PIITB415 posted...

I hope this is real because it's going to be a shit show and will end up ruining a kids life. Yet the both of you are to short sighted to see that. Not because you want a kid, but because you want to have sex with a man to do it and it will cause a nightmare.

Look man, biology is what it is

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I want to give good and useful advice but I don't know how to unpack this specific scenario really, so... *shrugs*

I guess... best of luck.

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adopt... weirdo tc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeOpSYD2iv4&t=8

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So if you've got the money, why are you going about this the cheapest way possible?

There are plenty of options for conception that don't involve getting boned by your wife's friend. There's also the legal implications this could have if not done through proper channels (custody rights, possible child support, etc).

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I uh...didn't realize that bisexuality involved cheating on your wife. This is just straight up unnecessary and weird, just get artificially inseminated.

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This would be a lot less messy if you just adopted a child from Ethiopia. >_>

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Perascamin posted...

I uh...didn't realize that bisexuality involved cheating on your wife. This is just straight up unnecessary and weird, just get artificially inseminated.

It's not cheating. It's called having an open marriage, which we agreed to prior to getting married and it's not bothered either of us.

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I just read this scenario in an ntr manga.

This seems like a poor idea, but I hope it works out for you

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breeezy posted...

adopt... weirdo tc

Ya there are plenty of kids out there that news a good home plus you skip all the drama that WILL COME from you smashing some friend of hers that you want to kinda sorta like.

There seems like so many intricate details she wants about what the baby will be shes completely missing the point.

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Kobe Bryant posted...

Bruh

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this is like one of those wacky 90s comedies

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this sure is a topic

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Conflict posted...

honestly the fact that you don't realize what's wrong with this is bordering on sociopathic levels tbqh

It's not something set in stone. The other options are insemination and adoption. So cool your judgment.

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DarkRoast posted...

It's not cheating. It's called having an open marriage, which we agreed to prior to getting married and it's not bothered either of us.

Sure, but you said yourself she seemed a bit put off by it. I think there's a bit of difference between hooking up with someone and carrying a dude's child even if he's not gonna be around.

Not really trying to convince you either way but this seems the sort of thing you need to be 1000% sure of before you go in.

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what the fuck did i just read
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DarkRoast posted...

It's not something set in stone. The other options are insemination and adoption. So cool your judgment.

How is the idea of fucking someone to get pregnant while you have a wife even an option to begin with lol

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IMNOTRAGED posted...

Sure, but you said yourself she seemed a bit put off by it. I think there's a bit of difference between hooking up with someone and carrying a dude's child even if he's not gonna be around.

Not really trying to convince you either way but this seems the sort of thing you need to be 1000% sure of before you go in.

No she was put off by the "emotional attachment" part. She always was ok with me having sex in a platonic fun kind of way.

And I told her that if that's what she prefers this time, I'm fine with that too. It's just my preference that I have some kind of connection.

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Oh the off chance this is real, don't do this. Your wife sounds really really controlling to decide that you have to get fucked and knocked up by somebody she knows and trusts yet you don't know them, this sounds less like a marriage and more like a really doggy business transaction. If birth by conception is what she wants and a child is what she wants she'd be willing to birth the kid herself,too the fact that she isn't is a major flag, especially if she's demanding this without even considering the option of adopting.

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Cookie Bag posted...

How is the idea of fucking someone to get pregnant while you have a wife even an option to begin with lol

You realize this is a marriage between two women?

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Open relationships should never ever EVER involve children. There isnt one single open relationship in the history of humanity that has worked out well.

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DarkRoast posted...

No she was put off by the "emotional attachment" part. She always was ok with me having sex in a platonic fun kind of way.

And I told her that if that's what she prefers this time, I'm fine with that too. It's just my preference that I have some kind of connection.

I'm going to start off with a good luck and I hope everything works out for you guys in this regard. You and your wife know each other better than anyone on CE ever will. You seem like a smart poster and from what I have gathered in the past, I'm confident you'll make the right decision for you and your own.

Can you clarify the emotional attachment part though, because I'm not sure if you are saying you need an emotional attachment to the man or if you are worried that you won't develop an emotional attachment to the child if you are not impregnated traditionally.

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Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Open relationships should never ever EVER involve children. There isnt one single open relationship in the history of humanity that has worked out well.

That's not true, and even if it was there is absolutely no way you could know that because you do not know every single person in the world.

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sorry... what
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DrizztLink posted...

You realize this is a marriage between two women?

Yeah, how does that change my statement?

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Adopting is a much, much better solution than this.
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

That's not true, and even if it was there is absolutely no way you could know that because you do not know every single person in the world.

"You're wrong, because there is no way to know if youre right or wrong." Hehehe

But no, really, theres not a single open relationship that has EVER worked out well. You can do the research if you want to, its never happened.

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