Current Events > Ever feel like you completely failed at life???

(+) Yeah! (+)

It's especially bad when I think about all the millionaire pro athletes that are younger than me.

It could be worse. Be glad you and your family are alive and you aren't paying rent.

If you hate your life, do something about it. For one, research a competitive career that you can see yourself enjoying and pays well. Talk to friends, family etc for advice if need be. STEM is the way to go. Enroll in school and get on it. There, you have a purpose and a means of supporting yourself one day.

But get a part time job at least also to build experience and money for school. Even internships on your career path is something.

Work on yourself. Start talking to people irl to be more social, eat healthier, be more active (weights and cardio 3x a week each), work on your image and hygiene if it needs improvement.

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GateOfDoom posted...

Most if not all 33 year olds have experienced the things I haven't yet thats what makes me a failure

So what? Everyone experiences life differently. There is no set in stone rules about what life needs to be and when you end up where. The most important thing to look at when judging your life is are you ok with what you are doing because that is something you can manage. You are the one that makes the decisions for your own life, you are the one with the power to change your life. If you are unhappy with where you are in life make the decisions to change it. Only you will ever be the one that can.

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GateOfDoom posted...

Most if not all 33 year olds have experienced the things I haven't yet thats what makes me a failure

Are you happy?

Coloradough posted...

You're 21, you're a child. I could barely hold a conversation when I was 21

21 isn't a child. Dude is a young adult

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Joe8 posted...

I notice from your posts in this topic that you are very negative about yourself. The more you do this the less likely things will improve, as harsh as that might sound.

If you genuinely think you have negative traits, think about what you could do to improve them. In my early 20s I was also shy and very low on confidence. I'd just graduated in Computing and got an entry-level job in IT Support - this helped so much as I was forced out of my comfort zone and having to talk to people for most of my 40-hour work weeks. This kinda blended into my personality and while I'm still a bit of an introvert even now, I'm much more open around friends/workmates now, and this also led to me being more confident with dating etc, and I felt better about myself overall as a result.

Everyone's situation is different but maybe there's something similar you could research and look into in terms of jobs or even just social groups. (Obviously right now it's difficult to find either of those things though)

Feel free to drop a PM if you ever want a chat mate.

Thank you man, I will.

@cameronpbb

You haven't even worked hard enough to say "at least I tried".

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I'm one of 7 billion people on this tiny planet. The universe has existed for billions of years and will continue to exist for billions of years.

We're absolute meaningless specks of dust. We love to pretend it all means anything, but we don't, and it doesn't. We exist only for a few breaths, and we're dust again.

This is depressing, I know, but also liberating. Live your short life, and live it how you want to live it. Enjoy the sunshine, try not to hurt others, make someone else's life better, and don't worry to much about what 'society' expects from you.

Yi_Long posted...

I'm one of 7 billion people on this tiny planet. The universe has existed for billions of years and will continue to exist for billions of years.

We're absolute meaningless specks of dust. We love to pretend it all means anything, but we don't, and it doesn't. We exist only for a few breaths, and we're dust again.

This is depressing, I know, but also liberating. Live your short life, and live it how you want to live it. Enjoy the sunshine, try not to hurt others, make someone else's life better, and don't worry to much about what 'society' expects from you.

Ya lost me in the first half, but brought it back around for the second half.

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DespondentDeity posted...

@cameronpbb

You haven't even worked hard enough to say "at least I tried".

Admittedly that is true...

I was at my most miserable at 21. You aren't completely screwed until you hit your late 30s/early 40s.
Joe8 posted...

I notice from your posts in this topic that you are very negative about yourself. The more you do this the less likely things will improve, as harsh as that might sound.

If you genuinely think you have negative traits, think about what you could do to improve them. In my early 20s I was also shy and very low on confidence. I'd just graduated in Computing and got an entry-level job in IT Support - this helped so much as I was forced out of my comfort zone and having to talk to people for most of my 40-hour work weeks. This kinda blended into my personality and while I'm still a bit of an introvert even now, I'm much more open around friends/workmates now, and this also led to me being more confident with dating etc, and I felt better about myself overall as a result.

Everyone's situation is different but maybe there's something similar you could research and look into in terms of jobs or even just social groups. (Obviously right now it's difficult to find either of those things though)

Feel free to drop a PM if you ever want a chat mate.

best advice

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im posting on CE so you tell me

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this is me btw

cameronpbb posted...

this is me btw

Apologies if my face scared anyone haha

Whatever man you're good enough looking, your style is boring af but if you dressed up in flattering clothes, you'd be swimming in Tinder matches.

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DespondentDeity posted...

Whatever man you're good enough looking, your style is boring af but if you dressed up in flattering clothes, you'd be swimming in Tinder matches.

Haha thanks I guess, I don't have any fancy clothes or anything, I just wear whatever.

cameronpbb posted...

this is me btw

you have the foundations of a really decent looking dude, hell you already are. great jaw,nose + lips and kind eyes. Get a haircut (or just shave it all if you're worried about your hairline, confidence soars once you own that shit) and shave the facepubes regularly until you can manage a proper beard (i couldn't until 25) and you'll be more than fine looks wise.

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Back_Stabbath posted...

you have the foundations of a really decent looking dude, hell you already are. great jaw,nose + lips and kind eyes. Get a haircut (or just shave it all if you're worried about your hairline, confidence soars once you own that shit) and shave the facepubes a regular until you can manage a proper beard (i couldn't until 25) and you'll be more than fine looks wise.

Thank you man, I'd get a haircut if they were open haha. Want to lose weight too so I'm going to the gym once it reopens

Dude you're at the perfect age to start investing in yourself. You should go apply for a job at the post office as a letter carrier, it's cushy as hell, you get paid like $16/hr to start and get bumped up pretty quickly, plus you get great benefits and an insane pension if you make it a career. Plus you get to be outside a lot getting tons of vitamin D and a bomb tan.

Start going to the gym and get in better shape, then upgrade your wardrobe with your money from your job. Shit man you can dress like anime characters now and that shit is hella in style.

You haven't failed at anything other than seeing just how many paths you have in front of you.

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DespondentDeity posted...

Dude you're at the perfect age to start investing in yourself. You should go apply for a job at the post office as a letter carrier, it's cushy as hell, you get paid like $16/hr to start and get bumped up pretty quickly, plus you get great benefits and an insane pension if you make it a career. Plus you get to be outside a lot getting tons of vitamin D and a bomb tan.

Start going to the gym and get in better shape, then upgrade your wardrobe with your money from your job. Shit man you can dress like anime characters now and that shit is hella in style.

You haven't failed at anything other than seeing just how many paths you have in front of you.

I'm writing this down, thanks for the advice man. I'd love to get some stylish clothes, all I have is brown or grey stuff

Not yet. :P

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Your skin is unbelievably nice too, you should put together a routine to protect it.

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DespondentDeity posted...

Your skin is unbelievably nice too, you should put together a routine to protect it.

Than you man, it means alot. I'm nothing special tho, you guys probs look slot better

Thanks everyone, I feel alot better.

Ah, dont worry about it too much. When I was 21, it was the worst year of my life. I was arrested but not charged because of a suicide attempt, a girl lied on me and successfully got me suspended from college for a semester, I had to live out of my car for a bit, no job so no money, and I had no friends or help from anyone.

Im 22 now and despite the state of the world, my situation is significantly better. Im back in college. I have plenty of money now. Im not homeless anymore. Im back to working out almost regularly again. I still dont have the luxury of friends but thats alright. Not everything is perfect but I am content which is good enough for now.

Im sure with just a little effort, youll get closer to where you want to be in life. We have to believe were going to make it even if it doesnt seem that way. Otherwise, by thinking we wont amount to much, itll become a self fulfilling prophecy.

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The_Scarecrow posted...

Ah, dont worry about it too much. When I was 21, it was the worst year of my life. I was arrested but not charged because of a suicide attempt, a girl lied on me and successfully got me suspended from college for a semester, I had to live out of my car for a bit, no job so no money, and I had no friends or help from anyone.

Im 22 now and despite the state of the world, my situation is significantly better. Im back in college. I have plenty of money now. Im not homeless anymore. Im back to working out almost regularly again. I still dont have the luxury of friends but thats alright. Not everything is perfect but I am content which is good enough for now.

Im sure with just a little effort, youll get closer to where you want to be in life. We have to believe were going to make it even if it doesnt seem that way. Otherwise, by thinking we wont amount to much, itll become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Thank you man, I really appreciate it.

cameronpbb posted...

I'm writing this down, thanks for the advice man. I'd love to get some stylish clothes, all I have is brown or grey stuff

You remind me of a colleague I had. One of the sweetest guys I've met, great sense of dry humor, but he was 'hiding'.

He was shy, he had long hair, he only wore black clothes (not an emo, just scruffy death-metal Captain Caveman vibe), he barely spoke up around others until he felt comfortable, and just very lowkey in every way possible.

He was good at his job but never wanted the spotlight, or attention, and was fine with picking up the crappier tasks. I had a good connection with him, and he later told me he's never been comfortable around people, but always felt very comfortable around me, and enjoyed my company.

The thing is, you could tell he wasn't very happy with his life, but hiding beneath that Captain Caveman was a fantastic sweet guy. Like 'heart of gold' kinda guy. And he would never believe it, but if he'd just get a fucking haircut, some decent clothes, cleaned his facial hair, he'd instantly go from a 4 or 5 out of 10, to an 8/10, because he had a good face, nice smile, amazing eyes. Not saying that would solve any psychological issues he might have had, but considering he once mentioned one day he'd like a girlfriend, he'd probably attract someone a bit easier if he cleaned up a bit, and when you look a bit nicer and feel a bit more attractive, that also changes your attitude, self-respect and confidence a bit.

Just try to make an effort. Not for anyone else, but just for you. Buy a nice shirt/sweater, fix your hair a bit, walk with a bit more confidence, lift your head, find some things you enjoy, be it art or video games, or movies, or whatever. Life IS pretty meaningless, but while you're here, you can give it a little bit of meaning for yourself.

Take it each day at a time, try to do anything nice on those days. Just 1 thing. Doesn't have to be big. And it can be just for you. And it can be completely meaningless. Like feeding some ducks, or greasing your bike. Whatever.

It sounds like nothing, maybe it is, but you just do 1 of those little things and when you did it, you feel a bit better about yourself and what you did.

That's it. That's life.

Let a friend down this week, feel like shit.

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@Yi_Long wonderful post! Thanks for sharing the story of your colleague, I see a lot of myself in that story too. Hopefully, it becomes a true success story for your friend.

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A guys life really picks up steam by 25-26. If youre not about anything by that point, then Id be worried. At least be on a logical path by then. Early 20s, Id suggest never getting hung up on the past. Your past isnt even much of a past yet. You do have a past, but its just as a kid and a teenager...which doesnt mean anything.

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Yi_Long posted...

You remind me of a colleague I had. One of the sweetest guys I've met, great sense of dry humor, but he was 'hiding'.

He was shy, he had long hair, he only wore black clothes (not an emo, just scruffy death-metal Captain Caveman vibe), he barely spoke up around others until he felt comfortable, and just very lowkey in every way possible.

He was good at his job but never wanted the spotlight, or attention, and was fine with picking up the crappier tasks. I had a good connection with him, and he later told me he's never been comfortable around people, but always felt very comfortable around me, and enjoyed my company.

The thing is, you could tell he wasn't very happy with his life, but hiding beneath that Captain Caveman was a fantastic sweet guy. Like 'heart of gold' kinda guy. And he would never believe it, but if he'd just get a fucking haircut, some decent clothes, cleaned his facial hair, he'd instantly go from a 4 or 5 out of 10, to an 8/10, because he had a good face, nice smile, amazing eyes. Not saying that would solve any psychological issues he might have had, but considering he once mentioned one day he'd like a girlfriend, he'd probably attract someone a bit easier if he cleaned up a bit, and when you look a bit nicer and feel a bit more attractive, that also changes your attitude, self-respect and confidence a bit.

Just try to make an effort. Not for anyone else, but just for you. Buy a nice shirt/sweater, fix your hair a bit, walk with a bit more confidence, lift your head, find some things you enjoy, be it art or video games, or movies, or whatever. Life IS pretty meaningless, but while you're here, you can give it a little bit of meaning for yourself.

Take it each day at a time, try to do anything nice on those days. Just 1 thing. Doesn't have to be big. And it can be just for you. And it can be completely meaningless. Like feeding some ducks, or greasing your bike. Whatever.

It sounds like nothing, maybe it is, but you just do 1 of those little things and when you did it, you feel a bit better about yourself and what you did.

That's it. That's life.

I'm glad people like you exist. Without knowing who I am, my political beliefs or opinions on anything, you helped me, I'm very grateful. Thank you man.

Yes, I do feel like I've failed at life. It's because I have. You haven't yet, you're just starting your adult life and still have lots of time to improve it.

Don't fall for the same traps I did. Build yourself up, change your thought patterns. Don't put yourself down or dwell on things too long. Tell yourself that you're good, that you're strong and confident. Even if you don't believe it. It'll help retrain your brain to process positivity more. Remember what these guys are telling you now, keep that with you.

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KogaSteelfang posted...

Yes, I do feel like I've failed at life. It's because I have. You haven't yet, you're just starting your adult life and still have lots of time to improve it.

Don't fall for the same traps I did. Build yourself up, change your thought patterns. Don't put yourself down or dwell on things too long. Tell yourself that you're good, that you're strong and confident. Even if you don't believe it. It'll help retrain your brain to process positivity more. Remember what these guys are telling you now, keep that with you.

I will man. And I doubt your a failure, seem like a good guy to me.

what a nice thread. CE can be human sometimes


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I've got no friends, no social life, don't drive, an older student in a class of like 22 y/o's, work but have no one really there as a friend, and I can go on and on

Feel like a failure looking for another job and looking at these requirements for internships and fellowships because the job market is extremely competitive and saturated after I finish school

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My life took a completely different direction than I had planned. Is it what I wanted? Not really. Is it alright? Yeah, it's ok.

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Yes but it's mainly my fault. I passed up on a lot of good opportunities and I'm paying the price for it.

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I have made a lot of bad decisions. Im currently ok.

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Your existence is more or less inconsequential, so don't feel too bad yet. Pursue excellence in whatever you care about.

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I wouldn't say I feel like I failed at life... But I feel like I'm not supposed to be alive. Like I'm not supposed to exist. Looking at my knowledge, my skills, my maturity, my interests, my personality, my age, it feels like something like me shouldn't exist. To quote Aeris, "Everything about you... is wrong." Like, wrong on some fundamental level. In a way that can't be explained. That's kinda how I feel about myself.

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Kisai posted...

I wouldn't say I feel like I failed at life... But I feel like I'm not supposed to be alive. Like I'm not supposed to exist. Looking at my knowledge, my skills, my maturity, my interests, my personality, my age, it feels like something like me shouldn't exist. To quote Aeris, "Everything about you... is wrong." Like, wrong on some fundamental level. In a way that can't be explained. That's kinda how I feel about myself.

That's dysphoria, it's treatable.

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