Current Events > My mental health has gone downhill so fast (rant)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Its crazy to me how fast it went from me being ok to me recognizing that I am not in a good place.

For context:
About a year ago I made an appointment and saw a doctor for the first time in my adult life (Im mid-20s)

I mentioned to my doctor that I had anxiety (stress, insomnia, hair-pulling) and was wondering if I needed a therapist or psychiatrist. He gave me a survey of questions to answer and honestly most of the questions seemed to be about depression (do you think about not wanting to live) and I wasnt depressed or had any of those thoughts at all so thanks to my survey answers he didnt recommend me seeing someone

But now its a year later and literally every night I just have this massive self-loathing that lingers on and on and whenever I try to think about a happier future/goal/achievement for myself I remind myself that Im not good enough or dont deserve any of that.

I dont even think Im sad, Im just... numbed and stifled with fear/apathy. Its like the imposter syndrome but its gone from Im an imposter lolol to Im an actual imposter and my existence is a net negative for the world so I should feel bad for even wanting to do x and y :|

Honestly this spiral happened because of covid-19 and me no longer working at my job. I never realized before that having a busy job kept my mind so occupied that I didnt dig myself into this cycle of self-despair. I need that routine back in my life

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Im right there with you. Not working has me thinking about my anxiety which is getting bad enough to cause almost daily anxiety attacks

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I understand this is a hard time for everyone. Please meditate under this symbol. It is said to bring feelings of hope to those experiencing hardship:



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Its time to break that cycle man.. there might be a hump where you dont want a particular job cause it pays less than previous, is farther, is whatever, etc

But just start it and keep looking, dip when you get the job you want

Seems like you definitely need that ball; same here.. I am absolutely stressed out of my mind when I have deadlines but it makes me absolutely so much more productive in literally all areas of my life

Stay strong man, this virus situation has really done a bad thing for our mental health but just envision that this will eventually be over. Whenever you get to really negative thoughts just distract yourself right away and dont dwell on it. Continue looking for any kind of job so you cam get out of the house.

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To clarify, I am a school teacher so I do have a job but its summer now so Im not teaching for the moment. I apologize for wording it in a confusing way

i am talking 2 online classes to keep myself busy though, lol.

but thanks for your replies. It is honestly relieving to see things like Im right there with you and to remind myself Im not the only one going through something similar

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parabola_master posted...

To clarify, I am a school teacher so I do have a job but its summer now so Im not teaching for the moment. I apologize for wording it in a confusing way

i am talking 2 online classes to keep myself busy though, lol.

but thanks for your replies. It is honestly relieving to see things like Im right there with you and to remind myself Im not the only one going through something similar

I assumed - but yeah man, those two online classes are almost like a saving grace eh? The mind needs to keep spinning.. when I get down I watch Impractical Jokers or something funny just to get the brain at a happy place and then go in for the kill in terms of doing something productive.

That way my brain isn't working as hard to get past the dumpy point y'know?