Current Events > Tell ex I want her back or no?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Basically I ended things with her a couple years back because long distance became a factor. Now I find myself missing her and thinking that maybe I shouldn't have ended things. If I were to date her again, distance would still be a factor, probably for 2 years.

Here's the kicker: She has a boyfriend who she's been dating for about a year and a half. However, she still talks to me and every now and then she'll show signs that she still has feelings. She also calls me for comfort when she gets into a fight with her boyfriend and contemplates breaking up with him when this happens. I feel like if I told her my feelings, I'd have a pretty decent shot of getting her back eventually. Would that be a s***ty thing to do?

No, don't even need to read the rest.

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umax555 posted...

Tell ex I want her back or no?

Just reading this, no. But I'll click the topic because there can be exep...

umax555 posted...

She has a boyfriend

HARD no.

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on one hand, I want to say no, especially since she has a boyfriend. and even if things did work out, you might put the burden of guilt on her for leaving him for you.

but on the other, you only live once; if you can justify your actions to yourself, even if they might be shitty, then idk.

...but still, I'd say no.

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Imagine crawling back like a little bitch.

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No, absolutely not. Don't even consider it.

It never, ever works out going back to what failed before. There's nothing to salvage. Cut contact and move forward. You won't see what's ahead if you keep looking behind your back. That part of your life is over, there's no need to revisit.

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boxington posted...

on one hand, I want to say no, especially since she has a boyfriend. and even if things did work out, you might put the burden of guilt on her for leaving him for you.

Yeah, the main reason I'm hesitant is that if she were to date me again and it didn't work out, I'd feel terrible for ruining her other relationship. And the guy she's dating probably doesn't deserve that. On the other hand, it doesn't sound like their relationship is the healthiest if she's still calling me for support.

umax555 posted...

Yeah, the main reason I'm hesitant is that if she were to date me again and it didn't work out, I'd feel terrible for ruining her other relationship. And the guy she's dating probably doesn't deserve that. On the other hand, it doesn't sound like their relationship is the healthiest if she's still calling me for support.

If she's calling you for support it's solely for insurance in her mind that she has someone she can potentially go back to in you. Don't be that back up, don't be that ear to listen in and will be there if what's going on in her life fails. Don't ever, ever be a backup plan. Don't fall into that bullshit.

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MabusIncarnate posted...

No, absolutely not. Don't even consider it.

It never, ever works out going back to what failed before. There's nothing to salvage. Cut contact and move forward. You won't see what's ahead if you keep looking behind your back. That part of your life is over, there's no need to revisit.

The problem last time was that it was looking like several years of long distance. Whereas now it would just be 2, which seems much more manageable to me. But I do get your point. I guess part of the reason I'm having these thoughts is because I've been dating quite a bit since then and haven't been able to develop as strong of a connection with other girls as I had with her.

Without read your post Im gonna say nah fam she for the streets now

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I've tried to go back into a real relationship (not just 1 time hookups) with a few ex's and in my experience it's always been a mistake.

But the heart wants what the heart wants. However since the issue was just distance, I'd wait till that can be fixed. Not before.
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I've been there dont do it.

I quit texting my ex's also just sever contact with them

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Well, my dear umax. That entirely depends on whether or not you possess an iota of self respect and decency.

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No one ITT is telling you to go for it, with good reason. Don't set yourself back months.

Others will come along.

I was where you were at, I went back to the same girl 4 times. It was nothing short of a circus. If I kept going back, I would have never met my wife. If you don't let go, consider all of the potential possibilities you are passing on trying to cling to something that won't work.

For what it's worth i've been married 16 years now. Prior to this I dated for 8. I've experienced a lot.

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She has another boyfriend now so there is no going back. Just move on. Don't do this to yourself.

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umax555 posted...

She has a boyfriend

imagine being such a skeez