Current Events > Do I break up over my gf the over the phone or wait until she gets back...

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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 2:39:33 PM
#1:


So, Ill try to make this quick. Ive posted about my dilemma before. And to boot, shes left me before and did so over text.

GF lives elsewhere due to a unique living situation. Shes been acting strangely the last few months and I feel like Ive been pretty disrespected. And to add, shes pregnant.

1. She has stopped spending nearly as much time with me. She would spend time with me multiple times a week and stay the night multiple times. Ive been off the last two months for COVID and she stayed the night once. ONCE.

2. She will rely on her ex husband during emergencies and then text me afterwards. This has happened a few times.

3. She likes all of her exs Instagram posts within an hour or two of him posting them and she will go days without liking my posts. I realize its an insecurity of mine that I have to face, but the pain is still there. Especially since she sees him more than me due to the children.

4. She will drop everything and take a sporadic trip with her ex husband and kids to go see the exs family despite seeing me next to none. Add insult to injury; and shes willing to make all these sacrifices to do so. I ask her to go on a trip with me last week and we take the kids and she says Ill try. But with this most recent trip with her ex there was no Ill try she just did it.

TLDR: gf has completely changed. No time spent, relies on the ex for emergencies, my insecurities, her bailing on plans 80% of the time, and sporadic trips with the ex. How should I go about leaving?
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KalimariX8
05/17/20 2:42:29 PM
#2:


Uhhh is this a joke? If you dont have any kids with her yourself you should have jumped ship a while ago.

She obviously doesnt respect you, why spend your short life with someone like that?

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Kalimari
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BakonBitz
05/17/20 2:43:20 PM
#3:


Sounds like she's getting back together with him. Do you know when she'll be back? Because if it's not soon then I'd probably do it over the phone.

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KiwiTerraRizing
05/17/20 2:44:30 PM
#4:


Can you bang her once more?

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#5
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SpacialEntropy
05/17/20 2:45:45 PM
#6:


Dump her over the phone. She doesn't deserve in person based on your post.

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Sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind.
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The Trent
05/17/20 2:49:23 PM
#7:


CalypsoDoom posted...
Is she pregnant with your child?

Pretty fuckin relevant

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i swear to God most of y'all cats just don't know The Trent
you barely know yourself so i guess most of y'all should be offended
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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 2:52:23 PM
#8:


KalimariX8 posted...
Uhhh is this a joke? If you dont have any kids with her yourself you should have jumped ship a while ago.

She obviously doesnt respect you, why spend your short life with someone like that?

the kid is mine. Due in a month.

BakonBitz posted...
Sounds like she's getting back together with him. Do you know when she'll be back? Because if it's not soon then I'd probably do it over the phone.

the day I start my new job. Tuesday.

SpacialEntropy posted...
Dump her over the phone. She doesn't deserve in person based on your post.

I genuinely posted objectively. This all happened yesterday. Ive had time to think. She wants to spend more time with her kids and I respect that 1000% but she had those kids when we first started dating and the whole thing was polar opposite.

The Trent posted...
Pretty fuckin relevant

ive got 0 reason to believe its not based on how she acts around me with her ex. But I guess its still possible it may not be mine.

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The Trent
05/17/20 3:03:03 PM
#9:


Dude if this is real you need to talk to her about this shit be ause you're about to be a dad in a month

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i swear to God most of y'all cats just don't know The Trent
you barely know yourself so i guess most of y'all should be offended
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IronWolf87
05/17/20 3:05:24 PM
#10:


JFC dude. Yeah she's getting back with her ex and is probably already sleeping with him. You need to contact a lawyer ASAP and figure out what you can do since you knocked her up.
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#11
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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 3:07:47 PM
#13:


The Trent posted...
Dude if this is real you need to talk to her about this shit be ause you're about to be a dad in a month

its 100% real.

ive already expressed each of these concerns. I literally balled my face off three days ago telling her that I miss holding her, watching tv and movies with her, etc. then two or three days later she drops everything and drives outta state to see her exs family. She bailed on taking maternity pictures with me, among many other things and more. I just dont know whats there to fix. Even after I told her of my IG insecurities (not that she did anything wrong) she went and commented on her exs IG saying Gorgeous to a close up of a leaf. I just feel Im done for here.
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IronWolf87
05/17/20 3:08:24 PM
#14:


RedWhiteBlue posted...


And get a DNA test on that kid and only speak to a lawyer whenever you have to deal with the kid or her

Do this also, if she's been cheating on you and it sounds like she has, there is a good chance the kid isn't yours.
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IronWolf87
05/17/20 3:12:07 PM
#15:


maoriwarrior posted...
its 100% real.

ive already expressed each of these concerns. I literally balled my face off three days ago telling her that I miss holding her, watching tv and movies with her, etc. then two or three days later she drops everything and drives outta state to see her exs family. She bailed on taking maternity pictures with me, among many other things and more. I just dont know whats there to fix. Even after I told her of my IG insecurities (not that she did anything wrong) she went and commented on her exs IG saying Gorgeous to a close up of a leaf. I just feel Im done for here.

Assuming this isn't a troll post and I hope to God that it is. Yes, she's done with you. She's fucking her ex and is stringing you along so that when the kid's born you sign the birth certificate and are on the hook for child care payments. Talk to a lawyer right the fuck now, demand a paternity test and until it is proven 100 percent the kid is yours act like it is not.
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The Trent
05/17/20 3:13:01 PM
#16:


^yep

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i swear to God most of y'all cats just don't know The Trent
you barely know yourself so i guess most of y'all should be offended
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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 3:16:41 PM
#17:


IronWolf87 posted...
Assuming this isn't a troll post and I hope to God that it is. Yes, she's done with you. She's fucking her ex and is stringing you along so that when the kid's born you sign the birth certificate and are on the hook for child care payments. Talk to a lawyer right the fuck now, demand a paternity test and until it is proven 100 percent the kid is yours act like it is not.

my life would be so much better if it is a troll post. Trust me on that.

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IronWolf87
05/17/20 3:17:22 PM
#18:


maoriwarrior posted...
my life would be so much better if it is a troll post. Trust me on that.

Well then you know what you need to do. Stop posting on CE and go find a lawyer right now.
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wallmasterz
05/17/20 3:17:28 PM
#19:


Im going through a divorce TC. You sound like a nice person. Sadly, nice people get taken advantage of all the time.

Get a consultation with a lawyer. Insist on a paternity test and if she gets nasty, try to stay as kind as possible without mincing words. Even if youre not the kind of person to chew someone out, its important to be direct.

Shes clearly checked out of your relationship and done taking you seriously.

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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 3:31:05 PM
#20:


does anyone think its too harsh to do it over the phone? Is that a bad idea?
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JimCarrysToe
05/17/20 3:38:44 PM
#21:


Omg you moron SHE DESERVES IT! DUMP HER SHITTY ASS.

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Ain't no t*ts on an almond.
''Three years of math trying to flat earth logic my way out of having a micro penis...'' -CanuckCowboy
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Lost_All_Senses
05/17/20 3:41:21 PM
#22:


This is messy >_>. Advice was for a year ago. Now you're kind of just in the shit. How much would you be ok with being in the kids life if ya'll weren't together?

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Name checks out
"Stupidity is a spectrum, and we're all on it" - OfDustandBone
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ghettoraider81
05/17/20 3:44:36 PM
#23:


Dont sign anything until you get a paternity test. The moment you sign that birth certificate you are legally responsible for the child even if it is later proven to not be yours.

You could literally end up pay support for her and the other guys kid while they are together.

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IfGodCouldDie
05/17/20 3:49:28 PM
#24:


You 100% need to dump her over the phone right now. Get a lawyer and a paternity test. Do not sign the birth certificate and move on.

I say this as a father of two who is happily married. Most of the time people on this board are bitter as fuck towards women and the relationships posted here but you need to protect yourself. There is a very good chance that the kid is not yours. If the paternity test proves it is yours and you want to be a father you are going to have to fight hard to be its father because I can assure you the ex won't treat your kid like it's his so if you want your kid to have a father you're going to have to step up hard.

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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 4:40:31 PM
#25:


Bump for more opinions
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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 4:41:01 PM
#26:


Lost_All_Senses posted...
This is messy >_>. Advice was for a year ago. Now you're kind of just in the shit. How much would you be ok with being in the kids life if ya'll weren't together?

I genuinely think thats my only option
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EnragedSlith
05/17/20 4:44:51 PM
#27:


You gonna set a good example for your potential kid by being a spineless dipshit?

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#28
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BlkSt0rM
05/17/20 5:32:46 PM
#29:


Dump her ASAP

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Pokemon x
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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 6:21:33 PM
#30:


God the pain is real. Its hit me like a truck.
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Cleo_II
05/17/20 6:23:33 PM
#31:


I remember your threads. Breaking up is the right call. Do it over the phone if it will help. Also DNA test the kid.
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IfGodCouldDie
05/17/20 6:50:58 PM
#32:


Cleo_II posted...
Breaking up is the right call. Do it over the phone if it will help. Also DNA test the kid.
Also to add to this, you don't owe her anything but if you feel the need to explain why tell her how her behaviour had made you feel and that's that. She obviously doesn't care how you feel and the way you feel about all this is obviously not compatible with the kind of person she is or her values. You are not a bad guy in this no matter what she says in response.

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Oliver_Oliver
05/17/20 6:53:25 PM
#33:


KalimariX8 posted...
Uhhh is this a joke? If you dont have any kids with her yourself you should have jumped ship a while ago.

She obviously doesnt respect you, why spend your short life with someone like that?

@KalimariX8

She is pregnant, and the TC is the father (granted, he should get tested to make sure if the baby is his).

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Oliver_Oliver
05/17/20 6:58:02 PM
#34:


ghettoraider81 posted...
Dont sign anything until you get a paternity test. The moment you sign that birth certificate you are legally responsible for the child even if it is later proven to not be yours.

You could literally end up pay support for her and the other guys kid while they are together.

^THIS.
What @ghettoraider81 is saying is the truth. Doesn't matter if a test later on shows that the kid isn't the TC's kid. If he signs that birth certificate, he's locked in for 18 years of child support. VERY important to get a paternity test before signing or agreeing to anything relating to child support (definitely do NOT agree to anything in writing, even in text messages).

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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 8:42:23 PM
#35:


Well the phone call went horrible so that figures.
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IfGodCouldDie
05/17/20 8:52:10 PM
#36:


What happened?

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LordFarquad1312
05/17/20 8:53:20 PM
#37:


Wait till she comes back. Then dump her over the phone.

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SpacialEntropy
05/17/20 8:53:40 PM
#38:


For the love of fuck tell us you broke up with her...

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Sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind.
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Dark_SilverX
05/17/20 8:54:34 PM
#39:


Get DNA test.

SpacialEntropy posted...
For the love of fuck tell us you broke up with her...
Hopefully he isn't sitting in a chair watching his girlfriend and her ex husband have sex.

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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 8:55:40 PM
#40:


IfGodCouldDie posted...
What happened?

it was 45mins of me trying to get her to calm down. Her saying shes not gonna make it, etc. pretty traumatic.

SpacialEntropy posted...
For the love of fuck tell us you broke up with her...

thats why I called her
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WallStreetWolf
05/17/20 8:55:56 PM
#41:


Do it in person like a real man

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WallStreetWolf
05/17/20 8:57:38 PM
#42:


Wait a minute, after reading everything this is just kind of sad and you should have dumped her a long time ago

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IfGodCouldDie
05/17/20 8:59:09 PM
#43:


maoriwarrior posted...
it was 45mins of me trying to get her to calm down. Her saying shes not gonna make it, etc. pretty traumatic.

thats why I called her
But it is done? You are no longer together?

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_Rinku_
05/17/20 9:02:48 PM
#44:


Curious how this will go. Do follow the advice of demanding a paternity test.
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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 10:14:25 PM
#45:


WallStreetWolf posted...
Wait a minute, after reading everything this is just kind of sad and you should have dumped her a long time ago

yeah

IfGodCouldDie posted...
But it is done? You are no longer together?

I told her I couldnt do it anymore so yeah

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DeathDeathSong
05/17/20 10:22:25 PM
#46:


damn tc gonna be a deadbeat dad just abandoning his unborn kid? holy shit

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maoriwarrior
05/17/20 10:24:38 PM
#47:


DeathDeathSong posted...
damn tc gonna be a deadbeat dad just abandoning his unborn kid? holy shit
Ill never abandon him if its mine. Ever.
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SH_expert44
05/17/20 10:26:40 PM
#48:


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yunalenne10
05/17/20 10:28:05 PM
#49:


@maoriwarrior Godspeed.

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"The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it." - Rule 43
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maoriwarrior
05/18/20 11:03:05 PM
#50:


Fuck this is just god damn horrible. Im so sick.
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Ziggyshack
05/18/20 11:06:54 PM
#51:


I seriously hope you've contacted a lawyer.

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