Current Events > How is this for a Lovecraftian scene where an Elder God talks?

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://www.dropbox.com/s/wvbmcy1rpqm0ny8/Samael7.mp3?dl=0

Some dialog for a project I completed a bit ago. Was wondering what CE thought. The story was generally Lovecraftian, but it had Occult/Theological elements scattered throughout. I thought this was one of the better pieces from the project, so I figured I'd see what a blind test results in.

*The VA is amateur, and it was for a mod, not a retail release.

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Honestly here.

This is good but it's not lovecraftian at all. This is something I'd expect to find in a game like Darksiders.

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Tyranthraxus posted...

Honestly here.

This is good but it's not lovecraftian at all. This is something I'd expect to find in a game like Darksiders.

That's completely fair! Although I think the style might be a bit more serious than Darksiders, that's just my perspective on the complete project speaking. How about this? Without Lovecraft as a prefix, how would you describe the OP and this genre?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/fj3ufq3pajk7wbq/LU_Anton_Journal_1.mp3?dl=0

Your feedback would be greatly appreciated, even if it's negative. I'm simply starved for it as a writer so niche in the field.

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CommunismFTW posted...

That's completely fair! Although I think the style might be a bit more serious than Darksiders, that's just my perspective on the complete project speaking. How about this? Without Lovecraft as a prefix, how would you describe the OP and this genre?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/fj3ufq3pajk7wbq/LU_Anton_Journal_1.mp3?dl=0

Your feedback would be greatly appreciated, even if it's negative. I'm simply starved for it as a writer so niche in the field.

Without using the word Lovecraft, I'd say this one definitely has a an occult noir vibe to it.

It has a striking similarity to the diary pages you find in Amnesia: the Dark Descent.

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The writing and the voice acting is okay. (I'd have said good but you asked for honesty)

But it doesn't sound like a Lovecraftian Elder God.

It sounds like a charater from a fantasy RPG. Like Mass Effect or Neverwinter Nights. Like an optional boss fight or a morally gray demon who you have to side with help you stop the ultimate bad guy.

Hell it even sounds like the Leviathan of Dis.

He sounds so emotional, waxes poetically, seems to be desperate to convince you and comes across as very human.

You'd think an ancient elder God from beyond human comprehension wouldn't talk like that, it wouldn't care about us. It's beyond us.

The dialogue should reflect that.

A thought exercise: How would your Elder God react if the guy refused to do what he asked and walked off. What would he say?

If the answer isn't "Not care" then it's not an Elder God.
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UnfairRepresent posted...

He sounds so emotional, waxes poetically, seems to be desperate to convince you and comes across as very human.

To be fair, you did hit the foundation of his greatest flaw. At least that shone through. The desperation, whether appreciated or groaned at, was at least intentionally done and I'm glad it was caught.

The rest of the feedback is a great help, thank you. Did you get to listen to the second piece? I'm not very curious what you'd think of that, should be a few posts above.

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Definitely got a "devil/demon in your ear" vibe from this. It kinda reminds me of some of the Daedra voices from the Elder Scrolls.

The quality of it and the performance are really nice though. If I heard this in a retail game I wouldn't question it at all.

Out of curiosity what game are you making this mod for?

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I'm not a Lovecraft expert or anything, but I feel like a Lovecraftian horror shouldn't talk