Current Events > Feeling down about old relationship shit. How's your night CE?

(+) Yeah! (+)

What are you currently watching/listening to/playing/reading? Anything interesting orbiting your night? No one online to talk to, let's rap about whatever.

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Today I went outside to check the mail and I got my unemployment information and a few other forms I was waiting on due to this shit. I took my stack of mail inside and sorted through the rest. My ex, also, got her unemployment information and some IRS forms she requested. I could see through the plastic on one of them that it was due to something requested/filled out on March 23rd. The unemployment form was through the state and the outside looked virtually identical to mine. So I can say for 1/2 of those envelopes, she went online and filled them out recently.

That is to say that she sat at her computer, filled out these forms, and had them mailed to this address. She moved out last March with her new boyfriend, and I haven't spoken to her since that February. (I spent Feb-March staying with my family until she left.)

She filled in this address over a year after she cheated on me and bailed. I Return To Sender'd all over both and put them in the street box. I simply don't understand, and seeing that reminder and her name fucking sucked.

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I got reminded of my abusive ex the other day and it made me really uncomfortable and I had a nightmare about her that night. I was trying to find something someone had said to me in an irc chat years ago, I have some logs from then and the first thing I saw in the logs was myself quoting a text she'd sent me about how I'd ruined her life and then another one 5 minutes later saying she wanted us to be happy together.

Anyway I've been playing Animal Crossing all day and I think I'll watch some movies soon, got three Lucio Fulci horrors I want to watch one after the other

I've been feeling a lot better about myself recently, but my hours at work have been cut so I'm back to spending all day online. So I see lots of posts/topics that remind me that I've never had a relationship and likely never will. It's getting me down again.

So instead I've just been burying myself in Animal Crossing.

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CalypsoDoom posted...

Yeah I'm still going through a divorce and i still get reminded of him and our relationship from time to time.

I wish I would've been enough, but I wasn't.

i've been listening to the ilys lately

We weren't married, but I feel you. We lived together for seven years then she got bored and started dating a guy 10 years younger. I got gaslit so hard too, and she dragged her feet for months before moving, leaving me to sleep on the couch at the time (I wasn't comfortable in "our" room) while she spent nights at his house. I never would have thought someone who was my world would be my most hated enemy for what she did. But luckily for me, those thoughts aren't toxic. I haven't heard, seen, or interacted with her or her friends in over a year and I intend to keep it that way.

Imagine writing this address down for those forms only a few weeks ago. Toxic.

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