Current Events > *Meanwhile, at DNC office headquarters - The Man's office*

(+) Yeah! (+)

"You're certain? I see...keep me posted"
*Phone sets down and clicks*
"Well, Alfred, you heard it. Joe Biden has been lost for 12 hours now, nobody can find him. Last we heard, he was at an Iowa parking lot and strolled away from his chaperone...we have a major problem here."
"You mean...?"
"Exactly. The people - the mindless rabble - of our party are demanding change. They feel 2016 was stolen due to our machinations...but I can't give them change. I make too much money from student loans. And I make too much money from credit card interest. And I make too much money from tearing up the environment and building my sprawl."
"So that means..."
"Yes. There will be no change. Let's see here..*looks at notes*...that gay white dude from Indiana. What was his name again? You know, the one who has just been kind of "there" since the beginning."
"Pete Buttigieg sir?"
"Yes. Roll this on CNN and all the other media outlets I own tomorrow morning, first thing: Buttigieg wins! Democratic primary within grasp"
"It shall be done, sir."

*end scene*

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sorry about your topic