Current Events > What is the single most traumatising thing that ever happened to you?

(+) Yeah! (+)

And how long did it take you to get over it (assuming you have)?

Bullying at school? Being sexually assaulted? Really horrible job? Time in the armed forces? Death of a loved one?

For me, it was a job I used to work, where I was bullied a lot, harrassed, and had malicious rumours spread about me. It's been over 10 years, and I still find myself thinking about it EVERY day. It did have a latent effect, though, where I barely thought after it at all for a few years afterwards. Crazy how the human mind works (so to speak).

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My dad and I were on a weekend motorbike camping trip. It rained overnight, road was wet. I saw him fall off his bike and slide off the side of the road while riding at highway speed. Stopped, ran over to see him unconscious on the side of the road. Some other people stopped, called an ambulance. He survived, but with a few fractured ribs and shoulder.

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Car accident. I was driving. A car was facing oncoming traffic after spinning out on the freeway on a rainy day. I was the next car and my drivers side hit the front of their car.

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How long were you fucked up for after these things, Lvaneede, dj?

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Oh yeah, the other half of the question. Well, the immediate shock was not good. I didnt feel up to riding again that day. The tow truck driver and police suggested I put my bike on the truck too, so I didnt have to ride. I didnt have anywhere to go or stay though, so a nice young woman who had stopped to help (I think she was also a nurse) offered for me to go with her to a nearby town she was travelling to visit family. So, I did that, stayed with her and her grandmother overnight.
While this was happening, I didnt really know the status of my dad, so it was very unpleasant.
I think it was in the evening I got a call from him, he was at the hospital in a nearby town. I was relieved to hear he was doing ok.
The nest day, the young woman's father drove me over to the other town, where the hospital and my bike had been taken.
The memory of it was disturbing for a while and still is a bit if I think about it too much.

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One time I was with a lady, and air came out of me.

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Grew up with my mother and siblings getting regularly beat on.

I like to think I'm over it, but I'm pretty sure I've developed a mental habit which leads me to only care about surviving day to day.

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This topic

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DocileOrangeCup posted...

This topic

Worse than the average duckbear topic? Seriously? Wtf?

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Gf was murdered.
It took years to get over it.
6 years later and I still haven't seriously dated someone.
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Sunhawk posted...

Worse than the average duckbear topic? Seriously? Wtf?

Duckbear is a saint compared to you.
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I have 2, can't decide between them.

1st was a car account accident when I was 9. Happened on the 4th of July, a drunk driver fell asleep and swerved into our land going full speed(55 mph). We were also going full speed and right as we went over the hill they hit us head on. It demolished the front of our vehicle. I looked over to see my brother's head with half of it massively swollen, I literally thought his brain was falling out. As for myself I had been stopped from flying into the dash by the seat belt across my belly. But it impacted so hard that it severed my intestines and damaged my spine. Some people rushed over and got us all out, I watched as the helicopter took my brother, and the ambulances took my parents and guys from the other vehicle. Then I was approached by a cop fussing at me to go back to my parents, I told him they'd been taken to the hospital. He called them back and they picked me up too, but I had to climb in myself which wasn't easy. I had literally got left on the side of the road... Anyway, they didn't find my injuries for a week due to just being lazy and not looking, so I ended up with gangrene in my guts and nearly died. Had to have a bunch removed in an emergency surgery.

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2nd was when my dad tried to murder me. He's always been violent/abusive and I raised to feel worthless and that my parents would be happier if I were dead. He'd often tell me if I died, that he'd piss on my grave and dance back to his vehicle.

Anyway, I was in my room watching a movie. My mom came in to talk and decided to watch with me for a while. After about 20 minutes she went back to the living room where my dad was furious that she spent so much time with me instead of him. They got into a huge argument and he decided he was going to kill me so she wouldn't have that option.

I went into the living room so he'd stop fussing at her, and when he saw me he grabbed his pistol and some bullets. Saying he was going to my head off. As he was trying to load it my mom rushed him to stop him. I knew she was in trouble, so I rushed him too. It ended in a huge brawl after he dropped the gun. He was trying to beat me to death. He eventually ended up on top of me strangling me, so I started punching him in the face. ...that's when mom grabbed my arms and held them down do couldn't. I was tired and hurt, and didn't want to fight her too. I don't remember how I broke free, but I did and called 911 real quick. I got tackled to the floor and he destroyed the phone before anyone answered. So I figured I was dead at that point and just accepted it. Thankfully the fear of the cops showing up put a stop to him. I just got cussed for being an awful person for calling them until they did eventually show up. They didn't even do anything though, I told them what happened and he lied. So despite me standing there all bloodied up and bruised, they just made me and my mom leave instead.

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I have 2,

First when I was 23 and there was this weird lump on my neck. Went to my family doctor and he thought it was just something temporary and said it would disappear after a few weeks. Luckily my parents decided to get a second opinion and the 2nd doctor had a biopsy and we found out I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Went through chemo and radiation therapy for the next 4+ months. Luckily have been cancer free ever since (knocks on wood).

Second was just this past August and now I'm 35. I was at work when it felt like I couldnt breath and some heavy pressure was around my chest area. Tried to tough it out but after 30 minutes or so I couldnt take it anymore and I asked my boss if I could have the day off cause I wasnt feeling well and drove to the ER. They did some blood tests and about an hour later the doctor came in and I'll never forget his words "Mr Rock88, you're currently suffering a heart attack and I need you to be as calm as possible. We're already prepping you for surgery and you'll be in the hospital over the next few days". Days actually turned into a week and a half because something happened during the procedure but luckily I'm alright now.

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Panic attacks and subsequent agoraphobia. About 5 years to get over the worst of it.

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yo that question is difficult

One of:

Hanging myself in a forest
Dislocating my left arm bombing a hill on a skateboard, and then giving myself a black eye in anger
Being chased down the street, pepper spraying myself and getting tased by police
Going through a phase of anger where i kept punching cement walls till my hand was swelling and purple
Getting sucker punched several times

God this shit makes me sound like i have mental issues

All were traumatic at the time and i'm still recovering from each one, not sure which is worse

Losing my best friend a few weeks ago, followed by fucking brain surgery about 16 years ago.

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Too many to choose.

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Home invasion.

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kylobrr posted...

yo that question is difficult

One of:

Hanging myself in a forest
Dislocating my left arm bombing a hill on a skateboard, and then giving myself a black eye in anger
Being chased down the street, pepper spraying myself and getting tased by police
Going through a phase of anger where i kept punching cement walls till my hand was swelling and purple
Getting sucker punched several times

God this shit makes me sound like i have mental issues

All were traumatic at the time and i'm still recovering from each one, not sure which is worse

Stop hitting yourself...

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Spinal tap when I was 5. Had meningitis. Didn't realize how bad it fucked me up until kind of recently. Hadn't thought about it in a long time and was asked to go through the experience step-by-step and recount as much as I could. Had a panic attack, so I guess I've never gotten over it.

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DocDelicious posted...

Spinal tap when I was 5. Had meningitis. Didn't realize how bad it fucked me up until kind of recently. Hadn't thought about it in a long time and was asked to go through the experience step-by-step and recount as much as I could. Had a panic attack, so I guess I've never gotten over it.

I've had fucking two of those. First one, I took with no problem. Second one, they had to give me a sedative.

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Being in an abusive relationship where I was seriously sexually assaulted, beaten, choked, had my home bugged and broken into, cheated on constantly and generally treated like shit after a couple of months where everything seemed perfect and I fell for her. It's hard to separate any of it into individual events, basically just her being in my life was the most traumatic thing to happen to me. I had about a year of counselling to try to deal with it.

Oh and she controlled me to the point where my desire to cross dress and be more feminine, more in a gender fluid way than anything , got turned into her convincing me I was transgender, me alienating my entire family, my daughter no longer living with me, going into hospital for suicidal urges and becoming a drug addict. I've just about recovered and I'm in a healthy relationship but little things freak me out and I get flashbacks. I used to love just putting a dress on and chilling out alone but now I think it would destroy me.

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Getting the phone call that my best friend had commit suicide. He was 23.
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DocDelicious posted...

so I guess I've never gotten over it.

i don't think anyone could ever get over it. long ass needle was bad enough but where it goes is the worse part.

cant think of traumatizing event maybe that seizure incident a few years ago. woke up in the back of an ambulance never could find the cause of that. ended up with a busted back for a month.
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kingdrake2 posted...

i don't think anyone could ever get over it. long ass needle was bad enough but where it goes is the worse part.

Yeah, watch someone go through that in movies or on TV freaks me out way more that anything I see in horror movies/shows.

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A friend got raped while I was IMing them. Much too far to get there myself, all I could do was call the cops. Even the slight perception of helplessness nowadays will fuck with me.

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Evening_Dragon posted...

A friend got raped while I was IMing them. Much too far to get there myself, all I could do was call the cops. Even the slight perception of helplessness nowadays will fuck with me.

Was it in video chat or what? If I'm chatting with a friend and I see that, I'm calling the cops immidiately.

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Losing my brother to suicide

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- Getting shot in my arm after blocking my face and chest after an attempted robbery. I was still in highschool when it happened. They didn't take shit and he panicked after he shot.

- Getting stabbed in my upper right leg during my late childhood by some punk ass wannabe gangbanger from a nearby middle school at the time.

- But losing my grandfather hurt me the most. The first time I've experience the loss of a very close and loved relative.

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The-Apostle posted...

Was it in video chat or what? If I'm chatting with a friend and I see that, I'm calling the cops immidiately.

Nah, it text, but I figured it out.

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Evening_Dragon posted...

Nah, it text, but I figured it out.

You seem like a good friend, and smart too.

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Moddable

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I got choked out by a dude I guess my mom was seeing when I was in like 3rd grade. I was gonna go brush my teeth and he called me over to pray. I didn't think anything bad of it, but my mom tried to tell me to just go into the bathroom. I didn't listen. He put me and my mom in a head lock and I almost lost consciousness. Mom got him off of us and I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I remember just cowering behind the door hearing them fight all over the house.

rolled an ATV

dislocated right shoulder, fractured both collarbones, fractured multiple vertebrae in my neck, took a heavy blow to the head.

after that is when my life kinda started going downhill

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Finding my mother dead in the same place I saw her hours before.

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The-Apostle posted...

You seem like a good friend, and smart too.

I'll make sure to offset this view by being even more of a jerk here.

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TerrifyingRei posted...

rolled an ATV

dislocated right shoulder, fractured both collarbones, fractured multiple vertebrae in my neck, took a heavy blow to the head.

after that is when my life kinda started going downhill

I once flipped an ATV. I got stuck in a patch of sand, and when I tried to get out of it, it rolled on top of me. I was thankfully unhurt. I was scared af though...

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It's hard to pinpoint the most traumatizing because it's all really connected. When I was almost five, my dad molested me at least three times, the last of which was right before he molested my 3 year old sister in front of me. My mom suspected something was weird with me and asked different questions (having been molested as a child herself, she knew the process) and I eventually told her what happened.

My dad was arrested but he made bail, I guess, and broke into my mom's house multiple times to leave me toys and snacks. I caught him the last time and we ate snacks while I played with the TMNT toy he brought me. My mom found us and freaked the fuck out, which made me freak the fuck out because I didn't understand anything that had happened. I knew that I didn't like what he did to me or to my sister, but I didn't understand why it was bad and why he couldn't be around anymore. As far as I knew at the time, it was no different than him telling me to turn off the TV or to go to bed. I saw the cops haul him off that time and tried to defend him.

My mom had to make sure I understood he was a bad man and I wasn't supposed to be around him. That time it finally got through to me and that was arguably more difficult than everything that had happened up to that point. That's when it became as possibly apparent to a kindergartener that they had effectively lost a parent.

The trial came and I had to get on the stand and testify against him. I saw him before the trial and he waved at me and called me by my nickname. My uncle and cousins came to support him and told me that he wanted to take my whole family on vacation for my birthday. Before I went out, I was in a room that I'm figuring was the judge's chamber and who I'm guessing was the prosecutor was going over things with me. She wanted me to just get up there and say everything that happened. She kept telling me it was very important that I say everything that happened and everything that I saw.

I went out there and... I froze. I don't remember if he or his family members got to me or what but I do remember standing up there for what felt like an eternity, not saying anything. My mom screamed for me to say something and the judge told her to be quiet. I was eventually led away by the bailiff and the prosecutor, back into that room. He was let go and nothing ever happened to him for it.

We eventually moved a few cities over and my dad moved to Louisiana. He would send me birthday cards and letters, then after a while moved back to Texas. He would occasionally show up offering my mom empty financial promises. Sometimes he delivered but mostly it was just his way to interject himself into our lives by taking advantage of our poor financial situation.

When I was about 10, my mom started dating a new guy and she caught my dad peeping on them and got him arrested again. I didn't see him again until 2004 when he showed up for a child support/custody related hearing and basically said he didn't want anything to do with me or my sister. I haven't seen him since then.

Experiencing the actual events was tough but these kinds of things are the gift that keeps giving. I never got any kind of therapy for that (or some of the other less severe but still awful things that happened to me) and eventually just kind of repressed it all. I didn't want to think about any of it and it wasn't often that anyone spoke of it.

As I went through an angsty teen phase at 15-16, I began to question my memory and what all had really happened. My dad maintained his innocence from the very beginning and insisted that my mother made everything up. My mom was very tough on me as a teenager because of my older brother's behavioral and mental health problems turning her into a paranoid dictator of a parent. In an attempt to rebel, I told her that I thought maybe she did make everything up and poison me against him. I told her that I didn't even remember ever saying anything bad about him and for all I knew, she coached me and that I didn't say anything on the stand because I knew it was all a lie.

She came into my room one night and threw a box with some audio cassettes in it on my bed. I listened to them and it was about 6 hours of her talking to me, asking me questions about what had happened and me answering. No coaching, no leading. Just her asking me simple questions and me answering, going on and on and on like only a kid can. That was re-traumatizing in a huge way and it made me feel awful for being such a cretin to her after all she had done for me. It also made me angry because it wasn't admissible in court, for whatever reason.

About 8 years ago, I found out my dad had basically kidnapped me when I was one and took me to Mexico to spend a week with his family. My mom didn't want him to take me and tried to stop him but didn't call the cops or anything because she was pregnant with my little sister and didn't want to get him in trouble. He didn't call or write her the whole time we were gone and she just let it go for the sake of her own sanity and health. That fucked me up pretty good because I have literally no idea what happened to me. It's one thing to go through life trusting that your pre-memory years were good even though you can't really verify that, but to find out you were un-monitored with someone who would later molest you is some fucked up shit. That's when I started drinking very hard.

When I first started screwing around with other guys about six years ago, I was majorly repressed because I kept thinking that my desire to have sex with men was either a result of my dad molesting me or trauma reenactment, both of which really fucked with my head. The first time I was I relaxed enough to actually engage and participate instead of just receiving hand or mouth favors, I, for the first time, made a partner ejaculate and immediately had a flashback to the most distinct instance of my dad molesting me and freaked out, went on a bender, and did some crazy shit.

Most recently, I found out that my family didn't just "move" after everything that happened when I was a kid. My mom had a mental breakdown and shut down for months. She let her house foreclose (which was a huge deal because it laid the foundation for a lot of financial issues that were the basis for several other problems that would later arise) and my oldest sister and aunt had basically taken over all of her duties. I never noticed this because my little sister and I were basically the only people she didn't shut down with. I remember the summer before 1st grade, we basically just stayed in her bedroom watching movies and eating snacks.

That time period, when my mother was showering me in attention, was when my oldest brother started having major problems with his mental health, drugs, and crime. He's spent half his life in mental ho

almost drowned

Nothing really that bad. I was really close to a grandmother who died about 5 years ago. A particular breakup comes to mind as well

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