Current Events > In dating terms, when should a transgender person reveal that

(+) Yeah! (+)

there is a dick below?

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Before they introduce themselves.

I have a dick and my name is Stacy.
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EffectAndCause posted...

Before they introduce themselves.

I have a dick and my name is Stacy.

I was going to say after their name but that works as well.

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what if there isn't a dick

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Online in pictures its hard to tell, in real life you should be able to pick up on your own whether or not someone is trans relatively quickly.

i don't believe there should be a standard time to reveal that, different people different conditions
however, i think some trans people should be more realistic about the issue of bringing it up when they're shooting for a long term relationship

"I shouldn't have to bring it up at all" is not demonstrably reliable...


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When the other guy is already balls deep in her
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Right after challenging one another to a sword fight ;)

https://youtu.be/wn3xluIRh1Y

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That should be the first thing you know about them

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viewmaster_pi posted...

That should be the first thing you know about them

"Hi I'm-"
"I just need to know if you have a dick, ma'am"

Then again pi still believed in the trans bathroom predator myth the last I checked, so I can't say I'm surprised.

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i dont feel it is necessary to introduce urself with it but i do think it would be important to bring it up early. not because of genitals or sex but more because its a big part of ones life and upbringing and probably shaped him/her/them as a person. please tell me if im wrong.

gunplagirl posted...

"Hi I'm-"
"I just need to know if you have a dick, ma'am"

Then again pi still believed in the trans bathroom predator myth the last I checked, so I can't say I'm surprised.

what would u say is a right moment gunpla?

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gunplagirl posted...

"Hi I'm-"
"I just need to know if you have a dick, ma'am"

Why drag it out? If I don't want to talk to girls with dicks, I think it's reasonable to know ahead of time to avoid the "oh, you have a dick? Yyyyyyeeeaaah, I'm not really about all that, sorry."

And no, I don't believe in the "bathroom predator" thing, don't hit me with some bullshit just because I prefer cis women.

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when it's apparent that you and the other person are dating, and that there are romantic feelings on either side. if you think it might get to a place where they'd be seeing/touch your junk (or vice versa), you tell them about your status (whether pre or post op, because it matters to some people either way)

viewmaster_pi posted...

Why drag it out? If I don't want to talk to girls with dicks, I think it's reasonable to know ahead of time to avoid the "oh, you have a dick? Yyyyyyeeeaaah, I'm not really about all that, sorry."

And no, I don't believe in the "bathroom predator" thing, don't hit me with some bullshit just because I prefer cis women.

Would it be fair for some guys to open up the conversation with "Hi, I'm a dick" just to ensure the other person knows not to waste time talking to them?

Fam_Fam posted...

when it's apparent that you and the other person are dating, and that there are romantic feelings on either side. if you think it might get to a place where they'd be seeing/touch your junk (or vice versa), you tell them about your status (whether pre or post op, because it matters to some people either way)

Why is it okay to hide that up until then? Why spur on possible attachment and romantic intent, just to spring that on someone at the last second and just hope they're cool with it? The earlier it's communicated, the better; if they're cool with it, great, if not, you've saved each other a sour moment down the line.

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pistachio12 posted...

Would it be fair for some guys to open up the conversation with "Hi, I'm a dick" just to ensure the other person knows not to waste time talking to them?

Being trans and being a dick aren't the same thing and shouldn't really be compared and weighed equally like that, don't you think? This is a weak, and frankly rude strawman just to try and call me a dick, I think. Not cool.

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Tbh it's no different than anything else. If you have a kid, I wanna know up front. If you're fucking around with your ex and don't want something serious, I wanna know. If you're polyamorous, a furry, christian, a harry potter fan, if you vape, drink white claw, these are things I don't want to be hit with late if I start thinking I want to be closer.

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The second anyone shows any interest in them.

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NeoBowser posted...

i dont feel it is necessary to introduce urself with it but i do think it would be important to bring it up early. not because of genitals or sex but more because its a big part of ones life and upbringing and probably shaped him/her/them as a person. please tell me if im wrong.

by that logic you should bring up childhood trauma to people you barely know

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viewmaster_pi posted...

Being trans and being a dick aren't the same thing and shouldn't really be compared and weighed equally like that, don't you think? This is a weak, and frankly rude strawman just to try and call me a dick, I think. Not cool.

For you, maybe they don't seem comparable. But I'm sure plenty of women and men would like to know if the person they're talking to is a dick upfront.

And if you read into that statement that you're the dick, that's on you.

NonDairyMiltank posted...

i don't believe there should be a standard time to reveal that, different people different conditions
however, i think some trans people should be more realistic about the issue of bringing it up when they're shooting for a long term relationship

"I shouldn't have to bring it up at all" is not demonstrably reliable...

Id say probably best before any intimate act is done. Partially for their own safety as unfortunately some people might get violent.

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pistachio12 posted...

For you, maybe they don't seem comparable. But I'm sure plenty of women and men would like to know if the person they're talking to is a dick upfront.

And if you read into that statement that you're the dick, that's on you.

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As soon as there is any talk of dating the transgendered person should make the other person aware.

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Choco posted...

by that logic you should bring up childhood trauma to people you barely know

only when ur talking to someone interested in u. it also really depends on what kind of trauma it is, i think. but sooner than later it will get on the table anyways.

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QuantumTheory posted...

As soon as there is any talk of dating the transgendered person should make the other person aware.

i agree its wise to make the other person aware

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Whenever they are ready, which is likely some time before sex.

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When should a person reveal they're infertile?

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"Being LGBT is not a personality. Stop parading it around to everyone"

"If you even catch a whiff of someone being attracted to you, then you better announce what you are before anything else"

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From the jump.

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The instant you know that the other person wants a sexual relationship with the opposite sex. You could tell them if you're pre-op or post-op and ask if it would be all right to continue the relationship on a non-sexual level.

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monkeysRfunny posted...

The instant you know that the other person wants a sexual relationship with the opposite sex. You could tell them if you're pre-op or post-op and ask if it would be all right to continue the relationship on a non-sexual level.

I don't care if they are preop or post op, they need to be up front from the jump.

Not everyone once sexual relations with someone born the same sex that they were.

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Realistically before a date even happens, but the latest it should happen is before any intimacy begins. Surgery is only going to get better and better sobeing able to tell will eventually start to become a thing of the past for many.

nemu posted...

Realistically before a date even happens, but the latest it should happen is before any intimacy begins. Surgery is only going to get better and better sobeing able to tell will eventually start to become a thing of the past for many.

If you "can't tell", then why does it matter?

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After the first dick down

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Anteaterking posted...

If you "can't tell", then why does it matter?

Yeah at that point it would be like being bothered that someone's face used to be deformed.

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hockeybub89 posted...

Yeah at that point it would be like being bothered that someone's face used to be deformed.

jesus christ you guys are ignorant. if a guy isn't comfortable dating someone who was born with male genitalia, that's that, that's it, fini, that's all she wrote, elvis has left the building, you don't require an explanation

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hockeybub89 posted...

Yeah at that point it would be like being bothered that someone's face used to be deformed.

i "can't tell" if a chick was previously implicated in her boyfriend's murder either man

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The Trent posted...

i "can't tell" if a chick was previously implicated in her boyfriend's murder either man

Someone being trans doesn't seem comparable to them being a murderer, imo.
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viewmaster_pi posted...

jesus christ you guys are ignorant. if a guy isn't comfortable dating someone who was born with male genitalia, that's that, that's it, fini, that's all she wrote, elvis has left the building, you don't require an explanation

So that's yes the facial deformity would bother you? Can't change genes no matter what work you got baybee

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Antifar posted...

Someone being trans doesn't seem comparable to them being a murderer, imo.

not apples to apples
but i can easily sort both characteristics into a bucket of "things i feel like i should know about you because they matter"

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i do it as soon as i can. if someone shows interest in me, i will bring it up first chance i get

and it does matter, if someone isn't comfortable with that i'm not going to expect them to be or be mad at them for that, that's ridiculous tbh

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Itennu posted...

i do it as soon as i can. if someone shows interest in me, i will bring it up first chance i get

and it does matter, if someone isn't comfortable with that i'm not going to expect them to be or be mad at them for that, that's ridiculous tbh

how fucking god damn reasonable of you
get out.

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The Trent posted...

i "can't tell" if a chick was previously implicated in her boyfriend's murder either man

Maybe people that want a life story before conversing with a potential partner should be the one to ask the questions rather than expect answers?

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hockeybub89 posted...

Maybe people that want a life story before conversing with a potential partner should be the one to ask the questions rather than expect answers?

but then you'd reframe and say that they shouldn't ever ask because that's bigoted and they should not care

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ASAP. This is how people die

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viewmaster_pi posted...

jesus christ you guys are ignorant. if a guy isn't comfortable dating someone who was born with male genitalia, that's that, that's it, fini, that's all she wrote, elvis has left the building, you don't require an explanation

That's fine, but at some point that impetus falls on the guy to get that information if it's that important to them.

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viewmaster_pi posted...

Oh good counter point.

Unsugarized_Foo posted...

ASAP. This is how people die

This is the same argument people use when explaining why you shouldn't honk your horn. Fear of death is bad way for society to communicate.

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