Current Events > She grabs your cup and starts drinking

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://i.imgur.com/WQUKDXy.jpg
---

I put my cigarette butts in that

---

Just so you know, that's full fat and not responsibly sourced.
---

I say "an indirect kiss!"

Just got over a cold, enjoy the backwash!
---

I spat in that.
---

I call the fucking police.
---

why is she sitting like that?

---

berlyman101 posted...

why is she sitting like that?

Because she's posing for a photo in search of attention and praise.
---

I tell her "it's good thing I like my coffee the same way I like my women: with my dick inside... I put my dick in my coffee... It burns good. Usually just like the women I spend my nights with. Don't judge me <_<"

What if she grabs my
---

Is this like the situation in the story that Arthur told Fernchurch?

Arthur Dents biscuits story

So let me give you the layout. Me sitting at the table, on my left, the newspaper, on my right, the cup of coffee, in the middle of the table, the packet of biscuits.
I see it perfectly.
What you dont see, said Arthur, because I havent mentioned him yet, is the guy sitting at the table already. He is sitting there opposite me.
Whats he like?
Perfectly ordinary. Briefcase. Business suit. He didnt look, said Arthur, as if he was about to do anything weird.
Ah. I know the type. What did he do?
He did this. He leaned across the table, picked up the packet of biscuits, tore it open, took one out, and
What?
Ate it.
What?
He ate it.
Fenchurch looked at him in astonishment. What on earth did you do?
Well, in the circumstances I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do. I was compelled, said Arthur, to ignore it.
What? Why?
Well, its not the sort of thing youre trained for, is it? I searched my soul, and discovered that there was nothing anywhere in my upbringing, experience, or even primal instincts to tell me how to react to someone who has quite simply, calmly, sitting right there in front of me, stolen one of my biscuits.
Well, you could Fenchurch thought about it.
I must say Im not sure what I would have done either. So what happened?
I stared furiously at the crossword, said Arthur, couldnt do a single clue, took a sip of coffee, it was too hot to drink, so there was nothing for it. I braced myself. I took a biscuit, trying very hard not to notice,
he added, that the packet was already mysteriously open .
But youre fighting back, taking a tough line.
After my fashion, yes. I ate the biscuit. I ate it very deliberately and visibly, so that he would have no doubt as to what it was I was doing. When I eat a biscuit, said Arthur,
it stays eaten.
So what did he do?
Took another one. Honestly, insisted Arthur, this is exactly what happened. He took another biscuit, he ate it. Clear as daylight. Certain as we are sitting on the ground.
Fenchurch stirred uncomfortably.
And the problem was, said Arthur, that having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject the second time around. What do you say? Excuse me I couldnt help noticing, er
Doesnt work. No, I ignored it with, if anything, even more vigor than previously.
My man
Stared at the crossword again, still couldnt budge a bit of it, so showing some of the spirit that Henry V did on St. Crispins Day . .
What?
I went into the breach again. I took, said Arthur, an-other biscuit. And for an instant our eyes met.
Like this?
Yes, well, no, not quite like that. But they met. Just for an instant. And we both looked away. But I am here to tell you, said Arthur,
that there was a little electricity in the air. There was a little tension building up over the table. At about this time.
I can imagine."
"We went through the whole packet like this. Him, me, him, me
The whole packet?
Well, it was only eight biscuits, but it seemed like a lifetime of biscuits we were getting through at this point. Gladiators could hardly have had a tougher time.
Gladiators, said Fenchurch,
would have had to do it in the sun. More physically gruelling.
There is that. So. When the empty packet was lying dead between us the man at last got up, having done his worst, and left. I heaved a sigh of relief, of course.
"As it happened, my train was announced a moment or two later, so I finished my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper
Yes?
Were my biscuits.

---

SSJGrimReaper posted...

What if she grabs my

your what
---

*grabs drink and pushes her into the mud*

Get your own.

---

Walk away before a catch a case. There is nothing sexist about stealing my shit.
---