Current Events > When you think about it, vampires kind of suck.

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Maze_
11/14/19 6:55:28 PM
#1:


Weak (Often fatally) to sunslight
Weak to pointed sticks
Weak to cross shapes
Weak to silver
Weak to water
Weak to fire
Weak to Garlic and wolfsbane
Need to drink human blood for sustenance.
Still need sleep.

Sure they never age and have magical powers but that's a pretty shitty series of weaknesses.

If vampires really existed they would be so easy for humans to wipe out, it would be like easier for us to wipe out Vampires than it would be to wipe out cats.

Whiskers the kitten may be tiny but he doesn't explode in sunlight.
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dj1200
11/14/19 6:59:34 PM
#2:


Expected rimshot.
Was disappointed

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#3
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Lordgold666
11/14/19 7:01:21 PM
#4:


They do. Blood
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DevsBro
11/14/19 7:18:48 PM
#5:


I mean, humans are weak to some of those things too.

And also many other things.

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MacadamianNut3
11/14/19 7:20:12 PM
#6:


Yeah in general

But then just think about Alucard in Hellsing and how OP he was even before the end of the last OVA

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AlisLandale
11/14/19 7:21:48 PM
#7:


Vampires dont suck.

They scrape. And lick.

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Gobstoppers12
11/14/19 7:24:07 PM
#8:


The thing is, all of their weaknesses are really specific and have to be used properly. They're also more about infiltration than fighting. In a battle in an open field, yeah, obviously they're not going to be the best choice if their enemies are seasoned vampire hunters.

But what makes a vampire scary is its ability to blend in and reproduce/spread its influence in secret. It's basically a human, and all it needs to do is get one bite.
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#9
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MacadamianNut3
11/14/19 7:27:07 PM
#10:


This reminds me that I just finished Grancrest and the main group was getting wrecked by the vampire until he absorbed the Holy Grail that was within one of them, which then instantly ended the fight

It was such anticlimactic bs

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AirFresh
11/14/19 7:28:15 PM
#11:


dj1200 posted...
Expected rimshot.
Was disappointed



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Maze_
11/14/19 7:29:25 PM
#12:


DevsBro posted...
I mean, humans are weak to some of those things too.

And also many other things.

Yeah but I can walk outside in the daylight and eat garlic off a cross, then take a bath.

So.... yeah Vampires suck
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mooreandrew58
11/14/19 7:31:12 PM
#13:


Not to mention not all fictional vampires have all those weaknesses.

You forgot the have to be invited into a home before they can enter though. By lost boys standards though if they are invited in a few of those weaknesses disappear.

Damn just realized that movie had plotholes iirc. Dude lost his weakness to garlic and holy water becausr he was invited, later other vampires come in univited but get wrecked by said weaknesses

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CADE FOSTER
11/14/19 7:32:24 PM
#14:


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boxington
11/14/19 7:35:34 PM
#15:


CADE FOSTER posted...
yeah but in Twilight you can be glittery
do Twilight vampires have any weaknesses?

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CADE FOSTER
11/14/19 7:36:11 PM
#16:


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Maze_
11/14/19 7:36:36 PM
#17:


mooreandrew58 posted...
.

You forgot the have to be invited into a home before they can enter though.

Crums I forgot about that one

Imagine being outside your nemesis' home and being like "Please let me in so I can kill you!" and then waiting for a few hours until the sun comes up and you have to run away
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mooreandrew58
11/14/19 7:39:12 PM
#18:


Maze_ posted...
mooreandrew58 posted...
.

You forgot the have to be invited into a home before they can enter though.

Crums I forgot about that one

Imagine being outside your nemesis' home and being like "Please let me in so I can kill you!" and then waiting for a few hours until the sun comes up and you have to run away


I loved one scene out of this really cheesy movie called lesbian vampire killers (not a porn actually) where girl explains that rule to him and he goes "oh well its not like im gonna say "come on in"" and at that point all thr vampires outside flood in on them lol
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The_Ivory_Man
11/14/19 7:46:44 PM
#19:


I don't think "dying when impaled the through heart" counts as a weakness or a sucky point.

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mooreandrew58
11/14/19 7:47:43 PM
#20:


The_Ivory_Man posted...
I don't think "dying when impaled the through heart" counts as a weakness or a sucky point.


Yeah true in a vampires case its technically a strength since it has to be wood. Apparently metal aint gonna cut it.
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Ic3Bullet
11/14/19 7:53:27 PM
#21:


Read The Witcher series. Sapkowski makes them interesting as hell, as one of the best characters in the series is a vampire.

in one chapter, the other characters have a conversation with him about but... if youre a vampire, then how come ______????? And he explains why those things are myths and couldnt be possible in a logical world. It was one of my favorite conversations in the whole 7-book series.
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Maze_
11/14/19 7:55:38 PM
#22:


Ic3Bullet posted...
Read The Witcher series. Sapkowski makes them interesting as hell, as one of the best characters in the series is a vampire.

I read The Last Wish

I liked the quest in Witcher 1 where

The Vampires opened a brothel and a dude wants to kill them.

And they're like "But we didn't do anything wrong!?"

and he's like "But you're vampires!"

And you have to pick a side and no matter which side you pick Geralt is like "Wait a minute... I just fucked that up."


That was kind of a fun concept
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EverDownward
11/14/19 7:59:13 PM
#23:


It's why I like vampire games so much. The ones that really emphasize the lore and specificities behind vampires are the ones that really nail it, though. The ones that integrate it into gameplay, like Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines, or Vampyr.
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Ic3Bullet
11/14/19 8:00:25 PM
#24:


funny, I dont remember that, and I read The Last Wish twice.

the part Im talking about is in Book 5, I believe (I edited my above post and added more).
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rodu_jr
11/14/19 8:02:42 PM
#25:


Not all vampires are weak to the listed things
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Maze_
11/14/19 8:04:21 PM
#26:


EverDownward posted...
It's why I like vampire games so much. The ones that really emphasize the lore and specificities behind vampires are the ones that really nail it, though. The ones that integrate it into gameplay, like Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines, or Vampyr.

Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines was great but Vampyr was awful IMO

Bumming round the streets giving people asprin and generic combat against fodder for hours was just boring as hell.

Plus the dialogue and characters were so stiff and awkward. I couldn't finish it
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EverDownward
11/14/19 8:06:33 PM
#27:


Maze_ posted...
EverDownward posted...
It's why I like vampire games so much. The ones that really emphasize the lore and specificities behind vampires are the ones that really nail it, though. The ones that integrate it into gameplay, like Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines, or Vampyr.

Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines was great but Vampyr was awful IMO

Bumming round the streets giving people asprin and generic combat against fodder for hours was just boring as hell.

Plus the dialogue and characters were so stiff and awkward. I couldn't finish it

*shrug* I enjoyed that every NPC had some sort of backstory and you had to piece together who is worth killing and leaving alive. Some peeps offer a fuckton of experience, and may be pieces of shit - but killing them might destroy the community they basically prop up.

Sure, the combat was as basic as it could be but the powers were pretty fun both in combat and outside.
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Maze_
11/14/19 8:08:13 PM
#28:


Maybe it got harder later but I never killed a single NPC and the combat was easy as hell, just boring.

I never got the incentive to get that experience, it didn't seem to do anything.

If it could like, make you able to sneak past fights I'd see the dilemma
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Maze_
11/15/19 4:28:10 AM
#29:


Ic3Bullet posted...
funny, I dont remember that, and I read The Last Wish twice.

the part Im talking about is in Book 5, I believe (I edited my above post and added more).

It was in the witcher game as a quest. Not the last wish that was my poor wording

vampires open a brothel In the city And a pious guy wants to kill them.

If you kill them Geralt is like "fuck I just killed a bunch of girls who didnt do anything wrong.."

and if you kill the man he is like "fuck I just murdered a man to save a bunch of vampires, the fuck kind of Witcher am I?"


I only read the Last Witch :(
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Ilishe
11/15/19 4:42:46 AM
#30:


The whole point of the Masquerade is obfuscation the existence of the supernatural from humanity just because humanity would eradicate the supernatural in a very, very short war.

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Ilishe
11/15/19 4:46:43 AM
#31:


rodu_jr posted...
Not all vampires are weak to the listed things


Yeah some of them sparkle in the sunlight instead and don't need human blood at all and can only be killed by ripping their head off or something.

Is that the kind of vampire you want, really?

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Maze_
11/15/19 4:50:34 AM
#32:


Ilishe posted...
The whole point of the Masquerade is obfuscation the existence of the supernatural from humanity just because humanity would eradicate the supernatural in a very, very short war.

Yeah it's a great game.

Although it's hard as hell to mod

Some of the amazing mods people made dont work on the patched versions and the GOG version downloads as like patch 10 by default

I miss being able to sire people and forming a mob
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When the going gets tough, the tough go have a little cry in the corner.
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pres_madagascar
11/15/19 5:30:35 AM
#33:


Crrryyyyyy little sister!
(thou shalt not fall)

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mooreandrew58
11/15/19 7:30:38 PM
#34:


Ilishe posted...
rodu_jr posted...
Not all vampires are weak to the listed things


Yeah some of them sparkle in the sunlight instead and don't need human blood at all and can only be killed by ripping their head off or something.

Is that the kind of vampire you want, really?


Elder Scrolls vampires have very few of the listed weaknesses. Sun is the only one i can think of off the top of my head and in oblivion and Skyrim the weakness to sun isnt even that bad.
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Laserion
11/15/19 7:45:46 PM
#35:


Maze_ posted...
Weak to pointed sticks
to the heart.
Isn't everyone?

Weak to water
Holy water only? Or is this related to the Headless Horseman not being able to cross streams of water?

Weak to fire
Isn't everyone?

Still need sleep.
This may be true, or they are just stuck hiding from the fatal sun in a dark place and just lie there awake with their eyes closed.
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Maze_
11/16/19 7:47:31 AM
#36:


mooreandrew58 posted...
Ilishe posted...
rodu_jr posted...
Not all vampires are weak to the listed things


Yeah some of them sparkle in the sunlight instead and don't need human blood at all and can only be killed by ripping their head off or something.

Is that the kind of vampire you want, really?


Elder Scrolls vampires have very few of the listed weaknesses. Sun is the only one i can think of off the top of my head and in oblivion and Skyrim the weakness to sun isnt even that bad.

Nah they are pretty weak they just cant translate that into gameplay

Serena's mum is pissing herself in fear that Serana's dad will expose them and then they all die even if there was no Sun whatsoever

They can also be killed just as easily as humans. They just get some magic powers
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