Current Events > Marriage proposal in front of family

(+) Yeah! (+)

If you had to choose one.

Other: Both

Bring both families together for an event. Then propose...


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Asuka Kazama posted...

Other: Both

Bring both families together for an event. Then propose...

Holiday proposal. This situation would be one family or the other.

Her family
I'm a fucking rockstar at family functions. The rest of her family has set the bar so low that I'm fucking godlike to them. Like having a job and not hitting her puts me heads and shoulders above the rest of her generations significant others. It's great!

I did it in private but if I had to choose, I want the side that will crowd surf me instead of just a handshake and a "Congratulations".
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Her boyfriend's family, they'll never see it coming.

I say neither. But Im proposing privately.
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With my ex it would have definitely been in front of her family. They wanted us to get married so bad, where as my family is very much against me ever getting married or having kids.

But truth be told, in general I feel it's kind of tacky move.
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I feel it's a shit move to propose in front of family because it pressures the other party to accept in an already tense situation. It also needlessly drags family members into an emotionally charged moment that could go very wrong.

This is especially bad and potentially embarrassing for both parties when the person proposed to DOES want to continue the relationship...they're just not ready for marriage yet. The witnesses get conflicting messages and make snap judgments about each party which could unintentionally sabotage both the relationship and the success of a future attempt.

This shit always plays out perfect in scripted romantic crap on Hallmark Channel, but it can get messy in real life fast.

I would know. I've watched these kinds of proposals go bad in front of packed rooms multiple times. Not enough people do it CAREFULLY. They just rush in like idiots expecting a glorious Disney moment. I've personally been proposed to twice with said tactic and I wasn't down for it either time because of the manipulative implications (intentional or not). And I felt like them not realizing that indicated they really didn't understand me as a partner. They neglected to pay attention to why that would be an immediate turn off for me. I can't marry someone like that...
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Theirs. I hate my family.
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Assume the couple has talked about the proposal and the proposee has expressed the desire of having family audience members.

Unless its already a given in front of no one is the only answer.

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sLaCkEr408___RJ posted...

Assume the couple has talked about the proposal and the proposee has expressed the desire of having family audience members.

In my opinion, that's fine then. You've both basically reached a consensus and just want to inform the families. It's a very typical thing for couples to do.

The times I had it dropped on me were both awkward surprises and my partners were just antsy to move things forward without checking how I felt first. They figured having witnesses we were close to would have made me more likely to say yes. Normally they would have been right. What they didn't account for is my trademark cynicism kicking in whenever I feel manipulated and taken advantage of, which immediately nixed any anxiety of saying "no" out of principle.

Honestly, if either of them had proposed with more tact and waited for us to feel closer, I would have likely said yes. They were both in just too much of a hurry considering either relationship had only been going for less than a year...
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proposing publicly is always a shitty thing to do
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Neither.
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If I'm the one proposing, I'd rather do it in front of my family. That way, if she rejects, I know I can find comfort and support.
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My bf's family is crazier than mine.
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Stuffed animals
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