Current Events > So my obnoxious anger problems have definitely ruined my chances with a woman

(+) Yeah! (+)

Like now if Im mad at all she just stops talking to me because she doesnt like me when Im mad. Which of course makes everything worse because it means she ignores what Im mad about until Im extra angry.

How do I stop getting mad at people being fucking idiots? Theyre not trying to be malicious, I just fucking hate dealing with stupid people who cause problems by not listening or communicating with me. I had gotten so much better at this for a while and now I cant control it anymore.
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maybe stop dating stupid people

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SquantoZ posted...

maybe stop dating stupid people

She aint stupid in general, just drunken little issues that elevate more than they should
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try to let small stuff roll off you. practice on minor peeves and tell yourself: is this rewlly a big deal? also learn to recognize your own faults and practice being forgiving of other people's as well as your own
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pile_of_bones posted...

try to let small stuff roll off you. practice on minor peeves and tell yourself: is this rewlly a big deal? also learn to recognize your own faults and practice being forgiving of other people's as well as your own

Im really good at all of that up until the moment where Im not, you know what I mean? So much shit rolls off me and doesnt bother me until does way too much.

And this also isnt just like how Ive acted towards her, shes just seen the way Im mad at other people and that makes her shut down on me even if its not directed at her.
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my therapist always says my expectations are too high when i tell him im often angry. he likes to say "anger is when reality does not line up with your expectation"

sometimes repeating that to myself calms me a bit, sometimes it just makes me think "oh great i already expect the bare minimum, how much lower can i go"

so in short i really don't have anything to say other than i can relate and it's a sucky issue to have.
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King_Hutton posted...

She aint stupid in general, just drunken little issues that elevate more than they should

Stop drinking

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Archibleedies posted...

my therapist always says my expectations are too high when i tell him im often angry. he likes to say "anger is when reality does not line up with your expectation"

sometimes repeating that to myself calms me a bit, sometimes it just makes me think "oh great i already expect the bare minimum, how much lower can i go"

so in short i really don't have anything to say other than i can relate and it's a sucky issue to have.

Yeah I feel all of that. When my friends are too fucking stupid to do basic shit right (or just listen to me before fucking up) I sit there wondering how much I need to hold their hands for absolutely nonsense.

And its stupid because I have great friends who would literally hold my hand while I do something stupid if I needed them to.

Part of it is definitely the fact that Im willing to ask for their help but I feel like my help is almost always rejected. And then when that causes things to go poorly, Im ripshit.
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How do you feel about therapy?
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Guide posted...

How do you feel about therapy?

I second therapy. My anger was ruining my relationships that I already had. Therapy taught me techniques to let go of anger.
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I dont have the means to regularly visit a therapist
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King_Hutton posted...

I dont have the means to regularly visit a therapist

https://www.talkspace.com/online-therapy/

Basically you get someone to call whenever you can setup a time, and it's confidential and works on your basis and all that.

Not to beat you over the head with "YOU NEED THERAPY RARAR", it's just a useful option to have.
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Guide posted...

King_Hutton posted...

I dont have the means to regularly visit a therapist

https://www.talkspace.com/online-therapy/

Basically you get someone to call whenever you can setup a time, and it's confidential and works on your basis and all that.

Not to beat you over the head with "YOU NEED THERAPY RARAR", it's just a useful option to have.

Unless this is a free service, I dont have the means to do it regularly
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King_Hutton posted...

pile_of_bones posted...

try to let small stuff roll off you. practice on minor peeves and tell yourself: is this rewlly a big deal? also learn to recognize your own faults and practice being forgiving of other people's as well as your own

Im really good at all of that up until the moment where Im not, you know what I mean? So much shit rolls off me and doesnt bother me until does way too much.

And this also isnt just like how Ive acted towards her, shes just seen the way Im mad at other people and that makes her shut down on me even if its not directed at her.

are you holding stuff in you let slide as a reason to really blow up when something upsets you? also REALLY REALLY quit drinking. At first alcohol causes a calming effect with GABA, but the metabolites cause agitation while the calming effect wears off, which can lead to perceiving slights and hostility the more you drink and the longer you drink for
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I dont really hold in shit that I let slide, Im genuinely not angered by most of it. Its the way that my friends piss me off that is the real issue.

And yeah I definitely need to stop drinking but uhhh, no.
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King_Hutton posted...

I dont really hold in shit that I let slide, Im genuinely not angered by most of it. Its the way that my friends piss me off that is the real issue.

And yeah I definitely need to stop drinking but uhhh, no.

So now who isn't taking advice that could fix alot of their problems.
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Me. But Im not fucking over anyone else by doing it.
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King_Hutton posted...

How do I stop getting mad at people being fucking idiots? Theyre not trying to be malicious, I just fucking hate dealing with stupid people who cause problems by not listening or communicating with me. I had gotten so much better at this for a while and now I cant control it anymore.

understand that the communication issues might be going both ways in the form of your temper
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