Current Events > I often wonder how I came to have such fucked up views on sex and women

(+) Yeah! (+)

I need an introspective. I'll talk about it in therapy tonight for sure. With women it's just that I won't give movies or games a chance if they're starring women. Don't know why, brain just goes "nah you wouldnt like that"

And with sex, well that's a whole can of worms. I hate that shit. Hate when people make any kind of reference to it. Hate being made aware of the depraved stuff people get down to. Hate how much sex motivates like, everyone.

Yeah hopefully a productive session tonight. Gotta keep working on becoming normal
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Good.
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To be honest I'm kind of uncomfortable with some of the dirtier aspects of sex too. Kinda makes me glad my gf and I are both virgins so we can take it slow instead of going from 0 to 80 overnight.

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Listen, there is no such thing as "normal".

You don't need to like women. Respect them as people but if you are not inclined to liking movies, games or entertainment starring women, that doesn't make you a freak. Everyone has preferences.

Also, just throwing this out there (not making assumptions), if you are not attracted to women, you should come to terms with that.
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_Matchabuu_ posted...

Good.

The fuck?
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Wii_Shaker posted...

Listen, there is no such thing as "normal".

You don't need to like women. Respect them as people but if you are not inclined to liking movies, games or entertainment starring women, that doesn't make you a freak. Everyone has preferences.

Also, just throwing this out there (not making assumptions), if you are not attracted to women, you should come to terms with that.

no, like see i cant actually reason out why i dont want to give those movies/shows/whatever a chance. i cant even begin to articulate it. that's bad, i want to know why i feel that way and address it

King_Hutton posted...

_Matchabuu_ posted...

Good.

The fuck?

i assume she meant good that i'm gonna talk about it in therapy
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Archibleedies posted...

i assume she meant good that i'm gonna talk about it in therapy

Oh, yeah that would make sense.
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Do you watch a lot of porn? That's generally unhealthy as well.
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Also I dont know you TC, but Im proud of you for knowing your issues and working on them with professionals. Keep up the good work.
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pile_of_bones posted...

Do you watch a lot of porn? That's generally unhealthy as well.

i almost never watch porn. my sex drive is extremely low

JustMyOpinion posted...

Seems like there's a word to describe you and your warped view, but I'd probably get hit for flaming if I said it.

like misogynist, prude, judgmental prick, etc etc

One thing I'm really inconvenienced by is that if I'm with a group and people start talking about sex stuff, I gotta leave. I get super uncomfortable and in my own head like "why are they talking about this" and I just bail. Bailed on my best friend's bday at the time cuz everyone wanted to go to a strip club after the bar. I acted like I was going with everyone then I just went home and watched netflix instead. I'd like to just not care about this sort of thing. Like I said, it's an inconvenience when it's something everyone talks about and does
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King_Hutton posted...

Also I dont know you TC, but Im proud of you for knowing your issues and working on them with professionals. Keep up the good work.

well it's something i always say i wanna address but never bring up with my therapist. now that my general day-to-day anxiety is abating i can remember the things i wanted to bring up with him. i know he's gonna relate all this to my tornado of a relationship a few years ago, maybe that's why i dont bring it up
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Archibleedies posted...

King_Hutton posted...

Also I dont know you TC, but Im proud of you for knowing your issues and working on them with professionals. Keep up the good work.

well it's something i always say i wanna address but never bring up with my therapist. now that my general day-to-day anxiety is abating i can remember the things i wanted to bring up with him. i know he's gonna relate all this to my tornado of a relationship a few years ago, maybe that's why i dont bring it up

Yeah sometimes thats the worst part about the biggest issues. It can take a lot of painful emotional work to get through. And thats awesome that youre already getting through anxiety issues, Im sure it aint perfect yet but its great when you can actually feel the progress.
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the anxiety was always gonna be easy to get rid of since i knew the exact source. 8 years ago i was constantly super anxious but learned how not to be in my first couple years with my doc. it came back in force from my new job, so i knew once i stepped down from this new job the anxiety would go away. im still working it but management has agreed to let me return to my old desk

damn what do i tell this guy. "hey bob so i think i hate strong women, sex, and anyone who talks about sex. how fix"
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Archibleedies posted...

Hate being made aware of the depraved stuff people get down to.

Are you a virgin?
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No
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Archibleedies posted...

the anxiety was always gonna be easy to get rid of since i knew the exact source. 8 years ago i was constantly super anxious but learned how not to be in my first couple years with my doc. it came back in force from my new job, so i knew once i stepped down from this new job the anxiety would go away. im still working it but management has agreed to let me return to my old desk

damn what do i tell this guy. "hey bob so i think i hate strong women, sex, and anyone who talks about sex. how fix"

Oh shit I didnt notice your sig, glad everythings getting better regarding the job too.
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thx bro
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The fuck are people putting tc down for? He's being open about his problems, recognizes the negative effect they have on him, and is even open to seeking therapy.

God damn, we should all be so appropriate in handling ourselves. Godspeed, tc.
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Guide posted...

The fuck are people putting tc down for? He's being open about his problems, recognizes the negative effect they have on him, and is even open to seeking therapy.

God damn, we should all be so appropriate in handling ourselves. Godspeed, tc.

it's fine. i'm a pretty hostile user these days so i dont expect many to extend any goodwill, plus the topic itself is about toxic thoughts i for sure have
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I dunno, the weird thing about sex with me is the memory the other persons having about the same event.

Maybe in your head youre doing great and to the other theyre just thinking "At least hes trying"

Its like telling the best joke ever, to you, but your audience hated it.
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How high are you
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JustMyOpinion posted...

Careful. That post is in the same vein as what got you warned.

I got warned for essentially calling a user mentally challenged. I don't see how the extremely common "how high are you" could be moddable
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JustMyOpinion posted...

Seems like there's a word to describe you and your warped view, but I'd probably get hit for flaming if I said it.

im still curious as to what you were gonna say. pm? i wont mark it regardless of what it says. and i wont take it as an insult
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They're obviously alluding to "incel"

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Theyre obviously alluding to boomer
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MutantJohn posted...

They're obviously alluding to "incel"

oh yeah that makes sense. it's pretty fitting aside from the literal meaning of incel. also i dont hate women or treat them differently irl but i just cant seem to give women in media a chance
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Why do you think you hate sex though?

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i do hate sex. these days i just think it's disgusting.
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Are you a virgin or asexual?
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I'm neither afaik
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Bump
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Like that gangbang topic got me thinking. Why should I care about a partners previous sex life if he or she was safe about it? But in my head I'm like nah, want no part of it. Currently spending my lunch hour giggling variations of "why am I such a prude"

Also I know I'm missing out on great movies, games, shows

Jessica Jones, new tomb raider games, horizon zero dawn

Damn I'm so in my head today
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Man now memories flooding back, I did have a minor promiscuity phase and thinking about it just makes me feel shame. Like damn bro just be normal
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Archibleedies posted...

Like that gangbang topic got me thinking. Why should I care about a partners previous sex life if he or she was safe about it? But in my head I'm like nah, want no part of it. Currently spending my lunch hour giggling variations of "why am I such a prude"

Also I know I'm missing out on great movies, games, shows

Jessica Jones, new tomb raider games, horizon zero dawn

Damn I'm so in my head today

Do you have an diagnosed thyroid problem?

I had a very serious relationship end recently because my gf had no libido due to her thyroid.

It also sounds like you may have low testosterone but that really wouldn't affect your affinity for females in movies.

It also sounds to me like you aren't being completely honest with your sexuality. Some people who are gay or bi but haven't come to terms with it reject female stimulation. Again, I don't want to assume but that's kind of the vibe I'm getting from this topic.
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Archibleedies posted...

Why should I care about a partners previous sex life if he or she was safe about it?

This is pretty classic sexual insecurity, and you're far from the only person who thinks things like that. Those thoughts do tend to go away (or at least lessen) with age.

But your issues towards women seem a lot more deep-seated. I'm not going to ask you to divulge anything, but the typical kinds of questions you'd get at in therapy would be if you were abused as a child, if you might have any issues with sexual/gender identity, or if you experienced/witnessed some traumatic event at a young age that warped you (which you may not even remember). Basically trying to get to the root cause of why you have these feelings so you can begin putting them into the proper context.
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I've slept with cis men, cis women, and trans women. I don't think I have any issues with my sexuality

Also I don't know about any thyroid issues. Wouldn't I have other symptoms? People have suggested low testosterone to me before also
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Respect to you for being conscious that you have issues, recognizing that they're something that's internal to you for whatever reason, and taking action to seek help and work on them, instead of simply telling yourself that the real problems are all around you.
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The Admiral posted...

This is pretty classic sexual insecurity, and you're far from the only person who thinks things like that. Those thoughts do tend to go away (or at least lessen) with age.

Well that was just what prompted the introspection. I have unhealthy views on not just promiscuity but sex overall. Like I said, these days I find it disgusting for some reason

The Admiral posted...

But your issues towards women seem a lot more deep-seated. I'm not going to ask you to divulge anything, but the typical kinds of questions you'd get at in therapy would be if you were abused as a child, if you might have any issues with sexual/gender identity, or if you experienced/witnessed some traumatic event at a young age that warped you (which you may not even remember). Basically trying to get to the root cause of why you have these feelings so you can begin putting them into the proper context.

I think you're onto something here
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Archibleedies posted...

I find it disgusting for some reason

maybe you're asexual?

i dont think im asexual. i experience arousal it's just rare
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Archibleedies posted...

i dont think im asexual. i experience arousal it's just rare

asexuality is a spectrum.

Some are disgusted by all sex or sexual ideas.
Some feel arousal and even deed. Some even deed A LOT, the just don't feel attraction to others.
Some feel arousal, deed, and feel attraction to others, but get grossed out at the thought of being close to the smellier parts (genitals, butt) or french kissing.

Hey it's TC who got warned

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Seconding the asexual suggestion. You can find people attractive and even like certain sexual acts, but not understanding what people see in intercourse is a common sign of being ace.
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The fact that you're trying to better yourself and not using it for fuel to shitpost on the internet puts you quite a ways above a lot of people these days. Good work

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Props for taking the steps to better yourself. You're stronger than a lot of the, most likely mentally ill, trolls here.
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Thanks dudes. But is asexuality something that happens to a person? I thought you're born that way, or it starts extremely young. A couple years ago I slept around and at the time I'm pretty sure I enjoyed it
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