Current Events > I think people are too hard on incels

(+) Yeah! (+)

EvenSpoonier posted...

Incels fantasize that they are helpless victims of bullying and mental illness, when the truth is that they're just creepy assholes that nobody wants to be around.

"They aren't ostracized!!! Now excuse me while I I describe them being literally ostracized in the very next thought lol"

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DarthAragorn posted...

You realize how fucking stupid it is to make a blanket statement like that right

Nope. Looks pretty accurate.

sevihaimerej posted...

EvenSpoonier posted...

Incels fantasize that they are helpless victims of bullying and mental illness, when the truth is that they're just creepy assholes that nobody wants to be around.

"They aren't ostracized!!! Now excuse me while I I describe them being literally ostracized in the very next thought lol"

Oh, they are ostracized. What they aren't is bullied. Actually, that isn't strictly true; most people who are fairly ostracized do also face a little bullying -a couple of people who go out of their way to torment them- and this is wrong. No one should be bullied, not even incels.

But overwhelmingly most of the "bullying" incels complain about -not just in aggregate, but even down to the individual level- is nothing more than people avoiding them. Not only aren't peoole going out of their way to torment them, but quite the opposite: people don't want to be around them, so they stay away. And that's totally fair. You are not entitled to popularity. You aren't entitled to any particular person wanting you around. You aren't even entitled to anyone wanting you around. This, you must earn. And incels do not.
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The Admiral posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

Anyone who self-identifies as an incel doesn't realize that is exactly why no one wants to be around their miserable selves. I don't think it's always completely their fault that they are who they are, but it is toxic and offputting nonetheless.

I havent heard literally a single person self-identify as an incel using definitions like the one in post 6.

Guys who cant get laid have been around forever. Dont know why so many of you are obsessed lately.

Where did I mention post #6? Again, I don't think it's always entirely their fault, but anyone who identifies with that sort of culture is toxic and that is the reason no one wants to be around them. They overvalue the importance of sex and made up the notion that they are celibate against their will because they haven't had sex for a time, or ever. Honestly, I think whatever you want to define as "incels" are just a byproduct of toxic masculinity. They seem to feel emasculated by not having sex like "Chads" and not finding much success with women. And that festers and becomes someone else's fault.

And I don't think I'm "you people" who are obsessed. I just post in some topics.
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amzpeng posted...

AnimeFan462 posted...

Forgettable posted...

Are you seriously sympathising with incels?

Its amusing that people actually hate on them in the first place.

I agree. It's not like they are a threat

yeah except for, you know, the shootings
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Collat posted...

DarthAragorn posted...

You realize how fucking stupid it is to make a blanket statement like that right

Nope. Looks pretty accurate.

Liar.

EvenSpoonier posted...

You are not entitled to popularity. You aren't entitled to any particular person wanting you around. You aren't even entitled to anyone wanting you around. This, you must earn.

Some people don't earn it. It's documented that better looking people are typically treated better.
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Delirious_Beard posted...

amzpeng posted...

AnimeFan462 posted...

Forgettable posted...

Are you seriously sympathising with incels?

Its amusing that people actually hate on them in the first place.

I agree. It's not like they are a threat

yeah except for, you know, the shootings

The shootings are wrong. I think they would be less likely to happen if people weren't mocked and bullied to the point where they try to prove how "tough" they are. We need basic compassion shown to those who have less than us in life.
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sevihaimerej posted...

EvenSpoonier posted...

Incels fantasize that they are helpless victims of bullying and mental illness, when the truth is that they're just creepy assholes that nobody wants to be around.

"They aren't ostracized!!! Now excuse me while I I describe them being literally ostracized in the very next thought lol"

If people are miserable to be around, then of course they will be ostracized.

You can't force other people to make every effort to become your friend or your love. Remember when people said the Parkland shooter was bullied and it turned out no one even really interacted with him because he creeped on girls and made dark comments?

That's an extreme example of someone no one wants to be around, but personalities just don't always mesh. You could have serious issues making any serious relationships, let alone sexual ones, if you hover around the wrong circles. Everyone should treat everyone with respect, but everyone isn't going to want to be around you on a friendly basis. Play ball in your league.
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CyricZ posted...

Despite the "in" part standing for involuntary, people who identify as incels are choosing that path. Putting one's worth on one's sexual experience. Seeking to blame others for perceived failures. A community that refuses to allow its members to grow out of being in the community.

you are right
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you can technically be an incel while identifying as other things. People have this belief that if you identify as a virgin or incel it means you're bitter , have high standards, and blame others. How is it not somewhat the fault of others if someone grows up to be bitter? Being incel doesn't mean you hate women, want to shoot up schools, only want 10/10 virgins as a life partner.
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Beveren_Rabbit posted...

you can technically be an incel while identifying as other things. People have this belief that if you identify as a virgin or incel it means you're bitter , have high standards, and blame others. How is it not somewhat the fault of others if someone grows up to be bitter? Being incel doesn't mean you hate women, want to shoot up schools, only want 10/10 virgins as a life partner.

good post
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I wonder how inceldom would be seen if it were a female problem instead of a male one. I reckon the blame would still be allocated to the same persons
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Beveren_Rabbit posted...

you can technically be an incel while identifying as other things. People have this belief that if you identify as a virgin or incel it means you're bitter , have high standards, and blame others. How is it not somewhat the fault of others if someone grows up to be bitter? Being incel doesn't mean you hate women, want to shoot up schools, only want 10/10 virgins as a life partner.

Then why are they "involuntarily" celibate? Surely they can find a homely girl or pay the occasional whore if they get real desperate. And it really is someone's fault if they are bitter. Bitter isn't a mental illness. It's just dwelling on your failures so much that you assume everyone sucks and is against you
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hockeybub89 posted...

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

you can technically be an incel while identifying as other things. People have this belief that if you identify as a virgin or incel it means you're bitter , have high standards, and blame others. How is it not somewhat the fault of others if someone grows up to be bitter? Being incel doesn't mean you hate women, want to shoot up schools, only want 10/10 virgins as a life partner.

Then why are they "involuntarily" celibate? Surely they can find a homely girl or pay the occasional whore if they get real desperate. And it really is someone's fault if they are bitter. Bitter isn't a mental illness. It's just dwelling on your failures so much that you assume everyone sucks and is against you

that's not true
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Some people are born ugly and born into hostile environments where they don't learn how to socialize normially. Ugly people with attractive girlfriends? They may have been bullied in the past, but something happened in their life that gave them the confidence to do better. 30 year old incels? They tried doing better and failed miserably and had very little support.
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amzpeng posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

you can technically be an incel while identifying as other things. People have this belief that if you identify as a virgin or incel it means you're bitter , have high standards, and blame others. How is it not somewhat the fault of others if someone grows up to be bitter? Being incel doesn't mean you hate women, want to shoot up schools, only want 10/10 virgins as a life partner.

Then why are they "involuntarily" celibate? Surely they can find a homely girl or pay the occasional whore if they get real desperate. And it really is someone's fault if they are bitter. Bitter isn't a mental illness. It's just dwelling on your failures so much that you assume everyone sucks and is against you

that's not true

What is forcing them to be celibate? Describe it without even the implication of bitterness and victimhood
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hockeybub89 posted...

amzpeng posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

you can technically be an incel while identifying as other things. People have this belief that if you identify as a virgin or incel it means you're bitter , have high standards, and blame others. How is it not somewhat the fault of others if someone grows up to be bitter? Being incel doesn't mean you hate women, want to shoot up schools, only want 10/10 virgins as a life partner.

Then why are they "involuntarily" celibate? Surely they can find a homely girl or pay the occasional whore if they get real desperate. And it really is someone's fault if they are bitter. Bitter isn't a mental illness. It's just dwelling on your failures so much that you assume everyone sucks and is against you

that's not true

What is forcing them to be celibate? Describe it without even the implication of bitterness and victimhood

the fact that no girls want to have sex with them?

and no one should feel obligated to hire an escort to "Just get it done with already". Sex is so much more than just sex. It's about being a person good enough for sex. A person wanting to fuck you means you're good enough to have people be your friends , love you, and respect you. If you can have sex, it means you have people that get excited to be around you and people that miss you when you're gone.
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Beveren_Rabbit posted...

Some people are born ugly and born into hostile environments where they don't learn how to socialize normially. Ugly people with attractive girlfriends? They may have been bullied in the past, but something happened in their life that gave them the confidence to do better. 30 year old incels? They tried doing better and failed miserably and had very little support.

Why did we have to make up some term specifically focused on sex to describe people with poor social skills? The ones who don't have legitimate disabilities are just playing outside their rank and putting so much value into (lack of) fucking that it defines them.
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We're using the word 'incel' because it became the new slang term to describe social outcasts. Before it was neckbeards, "nice guys', fedoras, nerds, etc. To me, an incel is just someone who is involuntarily celibate. Someone who desires intimacy, but is failing to achieve it. They don't have to be mentally ill or incredibly socially inept or edgy.
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Beveren_Rabbit posted...

and no one should feel obligated to hire an escort to "Just get it done with already". Sex is so much more than just sex. It's about being a person good enough for sex. A person wanting to fuck you means you're good enough to have people be your friends , love you, and respect you. If you can have sex, it means you have people that get excited to be around you and people that miss you when you're gone.

Yeah... Saying "just pay for it" is so stupid. One, it's illegal pretty much everywhere, so I doubt most people would even know how to do it without traveling a long ways. Two, the cost would be pretty prohibitive. Three, like you said, what satisfaction would it provide? Congratulations, you had enough money to pay a girl that would otherwise never fuck you to fuck you?

DarthAragorn posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

amzpeng posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

you can technically be an incel while identifying as other things. People have this belief that if you identify as a virgin or incel it means you're bitter , have high standards, and blame others. How is it not somewhat the fault of others if someone grows up to be bitter? Being incel doesn't mean you hate women, want to shoot up schools, only want 10/10 virgins as a life partner.

Then why are they "involuntarily" celibate? Surely they can find a homely girl or pay the occasional whore if they get real desperate. And it really is someone's fault if they are bitter. Bitter isn't a mental illness. It's just dwelling on your failures so much that you assume everyone sucks and is against you

that's not true

What is forcing them to be celibate? Describe it without even the implication of bitterness and victimhood

the fact that no girls want to have sex with them?

They asked every woman?
Beveren_Rabbit posted...

and no one should feel obligated to hire an escort to "Just get it done with already". Sex is so much more than just sex. It's about being a person good enough for sex. A person wanting to fuck you means you're good enough to have people be your friends , love you, and respect you. If you can have sex, it means you have people that get excited to be around you and people that miss you when you're gone.

This seems ass backwards. If you don't even have friends or anyone that cares about you, then how the heck would you expect to find the love of your life. "I'm a bitter person who has no friends. Why don't I have a girlfriend?"
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don't post in my topic @Conflict or brutai
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Dumb to call them monsters, but have vivid fantasies about torturing them. Sometimes the only difference between you and an incel is that you have sex. You justify your acts of violence and scorn because you think having sex makes you more normal.
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Think about how easily normal people get worked up over traffic or waiting a long line or losing at a videogame. Why is such a farfetched thought that someone who has no one friends is going to bitter?
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Beveren_Rabbit posted...

Dumb to call them monsters, but have vivid fantasies about torturing them. Sometimes the only difference between you and an incel is that you have sex. You justify your acts of violence and scorn because you think having sex makes you more normal.

dude that's fine I guess, but if you want to make a difference in your life and self get help dude
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Beveren_Rabbit posted...

We're using the word 'incel' because it became the new slang term to describe social outcasts. Before it was neckbeards, "nice guys', fedoras, nerds, etc. To me, an incel is just someone who is involuntarily celibate. Someone who desires intimacy, but is failing to achieve it. They don't have to be mentally ill or incredibly socially inept or edgy.

Celibate means not having sex. Involuntary means against your will and beyond your control. Escorts would produce a sexual encounter. Celibacy says nothing of the meaningfulness of sex, just the lack of any of it.

If someone is not mentally ill, not socially inept, not bitter, has full control of their bodily functions, and hasn't had meaningful sex in a while, then maybe they are just in a rut and haven't found the right person. If they aren't bitter, then they can't blame society or other people or whatever. It just is what it is.
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hockeybub89 posted...

If someone is not mentally ill, not socially inept, not bitter, has full control of their bodily functions, and hasn't had meaningful sex in a while, then maybe they are just in a rut and haven't found the right person. If they aren't bitter, then they can't blame society or other people or whatever. It just is what it is.

I am mentally ill and socially inept, but I am not bitter. but it's really hard because having sex chills you out and makes you feel at ease
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"just world"
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Beveren_Rabbit posted...

Think about how easily normal people get worked up over traffic or waiting a long line or losing at a videogame. Why is such a farfetched thought that someone who has no one friends is going to bitter?

If someone is bitter and has no friends, then a finding goddamn woman to fuck for the rest of their lives shouldn't even be on their radar. You can't just skip the mountain and wonder why you haven't reached the summit.
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I think what sexhavers don't get is part of the reason they are chill is because sex chills you out
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Wanting to fuck means wanting friends. Having sex is the ultimate goal. To be fuckable, you are likeable. You are wanted. Your friends sing a long and they love you.
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Beveren_Rabbit posted...

Wanting to fuck means wanting friends. Having sex is the ultimate goal. To be fuckable, you are likeable. You are wanted. Your friends sing a long and they love you.

people say "oh you're unpopular you're being entitled" and they act like being pushed to the side doesn't fuck with a person's psyche. People should endeavor to reach out to those that are lost
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amzpeng posted...

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

Wanting to fuck means wanting friends. Having sex is the ultimate goal. To be fuckable, you are likeable. You are wanted. Your friends sing a long and they love you.

people say "oh you're unpopular you're being entitled" and they act like being pushed to the side doesn't fuck with a person's psyche. People should endeavor to reach out to those that are lost

why would you ever do that when you can shit on them on the internet

Honestly most people don't care. I only see people talking about incels on these forums. They are a very silent minority of people who don't have any solid representation.

fWii_Shaker posted...

Honestly most people don't care. I only see people talking about incels on these forums. They are a very silent minority of people who don't have any solid representation.

false. people in general low key shit on incels
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Beveren_Rabbit posted...

Wanting to fuck means wanting friends. Having sex is the ultimate goal. To be fuckable, you are likeable. You are wanted. Your friends sing a long and they love you.

Yeah I've never heard anyone who has sex and is past college talk about it like this. I'm sure they love it, but it is not the meaning of life incels make it out to be. Really I don't see how it makes any sense to put something you've never had on a pedestal. If you can find the right person, good on you, but it doesn't have to define your life. It's okay to be single. It's okay to not have sex.

It's like some people got really messed up by being mocked in high school for "still" being virgins. More proof that bullying and toxic masculinity ruin our entire perception
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hockeybub89 posted...

It's okay to be single. It's okay to not have sex.

Is this coming from someone who has always been single and hasn't had sex, though? Because if not, it's pretty meaningless. It's easy to say that when it's not something you deal with
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most incels have no desire to hurt others
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amzpeng posted...

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

Wanting to fuck means wanting friends. Having sex is the ultimate goal. To be fuckable, you are likeable. You are wanted. Your friends sing a long and they love you.

people say "oh you're unpopular you're being entitled" and they act like being pushed to the side doesn't fuck with a person's psyche. People should endeavor to reach out to those that are lost

That's what social workers and the like do. The average person is not going to make it their goal to turn someone they find offputting into their friend. It really doesn't even make sense. What if they made that effort and the friendship is an absolute dead end? Is that "lost" person going to react well to the failure? Should the friendship be kept up as a social service rather than a legitimate connection? Relationships of any level of intimacy can't be forced or held together by necessity.
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hockeybub89 posted...

amzpeng posted...

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

Wanting to fuck means wanting friends. Having sex is the ultimate goal. To be fuckable, you are likeable. You are wanted. Your friends sing a long and they love you.

people say "oh you're unpopular you're being entitled" and they act like being pushed to the side doesn't fuck with a person's psyche. People should endeavor to reach out to those that are lost

That's what social workers and the like do. The average person is not going to make it their goal to turn someone they find offputting into their friend. It really doesn't even make sense. What if they made that effort and the friendship is an absolute dead end? Is that "lost" person going to react well to the failure? Should the friendship be kept up as a social service rather than a legitimate connection?

yet the attitude that hurting their fellow man is distasteful and wrong
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amzpeng posted...

most incels have no desire to hurt others

From what I've seen, the term is now interchangeable with "school shooter" so this message will be confusing for some
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You'll find the most inclusive and accepting among us the most hostile and dismissive of incels. They've determined them a problem for society, and for them, the best way to deal those problems is to remove them from society.

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Giblet_Enjoyer posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

It's okay to be single. It's okay to not have sex.

Is this coming from someone who has always been single and hasn't had sex, though? Because if not, it's pretty meaningless. It's easy to say that when it's not something you deal with

I am a hardcore virgin
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Giblet_Enjoyer posted...

amzpeng posted...

most incels have no desire to hurt others

From what I've seen, the term is now interchangeable with "school shooter" so this message will be confusing for some

I have no desire to hurt others
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hockeybub89 posted...

Giblet_Enjoyer posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

It's okay to be single. It's okay to not have sex.

Is this coming from someone who has always been single and hasn't had sex, though? Because if not, it's pretty meaningless. It's easy to say that when it's not something you deal with

I am a hardcore virgin

then you'd think you would be less dismissive of others but apparently not.

hockeybub89 posted...

I am a hardcore virgin

Okay, well that just won't do for some (probably most) people. People need intimacy for their mental well-being, or at least the feeling that it's available to them if they want it.
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whose alt is tc again
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Giblet_Enjoyer posted...

amzpeng posted...

most incels have no desire to hurt others

From what I've seen, the term is now interchangeable with "school shooter" so this message will be confusing for some

that is ignorance
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Beveren_Rabbit posted...

Someone who desires intimacy, but is failing to achieve it. They don't have to be mentally ill or incredibly socially inept or edgy.

Yes, they do. Normal people can get laid.
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