Poll of the Day > If you're an average-looking guy is there even a point in joining Tinder now?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I know some people here will say it's easy and I'm just ugly but I've read some things that make it sound like it's pretty much a losing battle. Like how there is a shadow algorithm that buries you and almost nobody sees you if you have a high amount of likes given but small amount of likes received. I think this must be how some people here seem to do well enough with it, because they started using it like eight years ago before so many people were on there and they started freemiuming the hell out of it. It seems like a rich get richer game to me

Or maybe I'm just an angry incel or whatever
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Get built, have penis enhancement surgery, take nsfw phtotos.
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Sure. You might get lucky. Never too late to join unless they announced Tinder is shutting down

average looking guys are ugly as shit. just start grooming yourself basically at all and you'll be above average.
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Different strokes for different folks. You may seem average to yourself, but you might check all of someone's boxes and be a 10/10 to them.
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CTLM posted...

Sure. You might get lucky. Never too late to join unless they announced Tinder is shutting down

Lots of things "might" happen, this is meaningless advice

OniRonin posted...

average looking guys are ugly as shit. just start grooming yourself basically at all and you'll be above average.

I do groom myself

hypnox posted...

Different strokes for different folks. You may seem average to yourself, but you might check all of someone's boxes and be a 10/10 to them.

Even if that was true, modern dating apps aren't really designed for those people to easily find each other
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You lose nothing from trying even if it's a flop
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Have you even tried?
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Several times. I've tried the other big ones too but they're basically all the same thing. Well I don't know if they have similar algorithms behind the scenes or if they have a similar imbalance of matching for men vs. women, but they were still tons of swiping and little to no matching
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I have never used any online dating services but it really seems like theyre almost completely useless anyway unless youre a girl.

Yay for equality...
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Yeah just lie and say you make a ton of money
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Bio is way more important than the pictures.
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I mean, I wasn't trying to make this some "women have it easy in dating" thing cause they have to experience the same problem from the other side. At least for men, the scarcity of matching sort of acts as a natural filter and you can just swipe right and not actually read profiles unless you match. Since women match so often that doesn't really accomplish anything, they're basically either stuck reading every profile (which are probably really basic and samey), or just indiscriminately swiping left on people the way guys indiscriminately swipe right.

On the other hand, having too many choices sounds better than having no choices at all, but in the end it's probably a wash for who has a better time
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https://imgur.com/R3yX2As
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Reverse image search tells me that's a most likely faked picture from incels. Please don't post incel shit in my topic
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What do you have to lose by trying? But if you want a quality person you should probably avoid the superficial shit.

Save your energy for future conversations with real girls.

While I agree it's easier for girls, a male friend of mine, who's pretty avg physically imho, said guys like him dont get any chances outside the first hour of matches. If he matched and couldnt set a date asap then most likely he never will with that particular girl.

Looking at how he fared I'd say the odds are not too bad but just require lots of effort. Or maybe its a location thing. NYC has it easy.

joemodda posted...

https://imgur.com/R3yX2As

No way is that real.
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All I'm saying is that if you're average looking, the only kind of pictures that will save you are the ones of your bank account balance with two or three commas displayed
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Get a nice professional photo and don't be creepy, and you'll do all right. Even the professional photo is optional, really.
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Zareth posted...

joemodda posted...

https://imgur.com/R3yX2As

No way is that real.

Looks like something from an incel reddit
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Have a picture with a dog, or a cat, or any sort of animal, guaranteed likes.
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SonyMichel posted...

Looks like something from an incel reddit

It is
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dud posted...

Lots of things "might" happen, this is meaningless advice

You asked if you should join. I said yes. So it's not meaningless.

What might happen: you do nothing and be lonely and sad still
You join and nothing happens. You know toy tried so that will get rid of the what ifs
You meet someone and it doesn't go anywhere
You meet someone and have sex.
You meet someone and decide to get in a relationship.

Those are pretty much the major outcomes.

I use Hinge. I feel like it's a lot better than the other apps (the prompts really set it apart). It took about 5 months, but I think I found someone (we see each other a lot now and really, our relationship just needs to be verbally confirmed).
:B

It's mostly a numbers game. Most of the likes you send you will never hear from (a consequences of how dating apps are designed). Because women get A LOT of likes and the newest likes go to the top of the pile, your like will very easily get buried (some people try to metagame the system by sending likes at specific hours; I don't know if that really works).

When you do get a match, sometimes the other person isn't really putting in any effort, like they've been defeated by the dating game and are just going through the motions.

I have a pretty low number of likes for my time on it (20-ish), only had like 3 really good matches, and only went on dates with 2 matches.

But the numbers don't matter too much; you're really only looking for the one. It can be discouraging at times, but it's fine to take a break and then put your best effort in again when you're ready.
:D

I think my best advice would be to work on yourself. Do things so you have stories and experiences to share.
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I've already used it before, the reason I worded it about joining now was to emphasize how it's like this ever-growing feedback loop that increases the matching disparities over time.

I wouldn't put it like it's something where you have nothing to lose. If I use them for too long without taking a break I really start getting those thoughts that I must really be one of the ugliest and/or most boring people around. Tanking self-confidence isn't good, I'd rather save it for those real-world dating opportunities; however rare they may be, at least they're much more realistic and reasonable. Also the amount of time devoted to swiping/looking/updating your profile doesn't seem like much but it adds up quickly, especially if you expect to need to give it a lot of time before there are any results.
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SpeedDemon20 posted...

some people try to metagame the system

See guys, metagaming CAN get you laid.
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I have been trying Hinge the past few days, probably the last one before I give up on all of it for a while. Not that I feel like I should have to mass swipe but I'll use only like 10 likes for the day and then I'm out, wut? That doesn't get me anywhere. I'm not sure what value the questions gimmick adds either.

If I actually received any likes that would be nice cause the likes are done per picture/question instead of just on your whole profile. Then I'd just take what was well-received and apply those lessons to the other apps. Though I guess if I had stuff that was being well-received I wouldn't need the others anyway
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dud posted...

I do groom myself

If you say so bro
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dud posted...

I have been trying Hinge the past few days, probably the last one before I give up on all of it for a while. Not that I feel like I should have to mass swipe but I'll use only like 10 likes for the day and then I'm out, wut? That doesn't get me anywhere. I'm not sure what value the questions gimmick adds either.

If I actually received any likes that would be nice cause the likes are done per picture/question instead of just on your whole profile. Then I'd just take what was well-received and apply those lessons to the other apps. Though I guess if I had stuff that was being well-received I wouldn't need the others anyway

Be better looking ok?
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dud posted...

I have been trying Hinge the past few days, probably the last one before I give up on all of it for a while. Not that I feel like I should have to mass swipe but I'll use only like 10 likes for the day and then I'm out, wut? That doesn't get me anywhere. I'm not sure what value the questions gimmick adds either.

If I actually received any likes that would be nice cause the likes are done per picture/question instead of just on your whole profile. Then I'd just take what was well-received and apply those lessons to the other apps. Though I guess if I had stuff that was being well-received I wouldn't need the others anyway

You get a free trial of premium a little after you start, for about a month. Though it honestly made no difference for me. If you want to mass swipe, you can get premium. Personally, I think 10 swipes per day is fine. Be deliberate in your swiping. And use the dealbreakers. I really tightened the filter, so much so that 10 swipes per day became too much (and then I had to loosen the dealbreakers a bit). Also, some people say it's best to send out likes just before people go to sleep. Don't know if that actually helps.

The "gimmick" prompts actually help a lot. Put some thought into answering yours and avoid cliche responses (I'm overly competitive about everything, Where to find me at a party the food or by the dog, I won't shut up about The Office, etc.). Try to tie the prompts to a story or experience (preferably a funny one) that you can share, if asked. You'll probably never be sent a like, so your best bet is to send a comment with a like (and the prompts help a lot with that if you struggle to find things to say).

I think it took 3 months for me to finally get a date (and that didn't turn into anything afterwards). The important part is to be patient and not feel discouraged. It's not Uber; you can't expect a relationship to just be delivered to you. And don't let it be an all-consuming aspect of your life. Treat it more like a hobby or game. Do the 10 likes per day and then keep doing your regular life stuff. If you get a match, cool. If not, whatever. When you do get a match, put in your best effort (but be warned, some people do not know how to converse at all or are just lazy texters).
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Joining life?

Yes, just like men every woman has different taste. I seen beautiful women with some ugly ass men so if you are average you have a chance.
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If you're asking this question, then the problem probably isn't your looks.
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EvenSpoonier posted...

If you're asking this question, then the problem probably isn't your looks.

Thats kinda what I was thinking. Confidence matters a lot. I could never stand girls that just agreed with me to be liked or just wouldnt be themselves for fear of whatever. Its awkward and boring. Only insecure people want a kiss-ass on a date with them, to be blunt. And insecure people can be a hot mess.

Looks do matter to a degree though, especially on the internet, and I think enemy 2 (after lack of confidence) is that a lot of guys are oblivious as to what look suits them and they like ones that dont.

I didn't mean for this to come off like a "Women are shallow" topic, if it does. More just that the Tinder landscape encourages people to be shallow. But that's true of both men and women.
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dud posted...

I didn't mean for this to come off like a "Women are shallow" topic, if it does. More just that the Tinder landscape encourages people to be shallow. But that's true of both men and women.

Thing is, bro: if you dont really know someone, everybody is shallow. Which how shit like tinder works. Unless the persons bio is a masterpiece and hits the right chord with somebody, all they have to on is your picture. Its sort of the first line of attack for every profile, especially when its easier to lie in text than photo form (obvi fake pics exist, but good luck on that meetup).

Oh hey I actually got a like on Hinge. You can actually see people before you match? That's a big plus over the others, though I don't know whether that's a limited ability and then they start asking you to pay.

It's a pretty peculiar profile though so I think it's a bot or catfish
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