Current Events > Dropped a stone cold fox because she didn't contribute a cent to either date.

(+) Yeah! (+)

This is fair enough right?

I went on this date with this American girl a few weeks back. Picture a busty redhead with bright blue come fuck me eyes. Jessica Rabbit vibes. No pics because you are CE and you cannot be trusted. Sorry.

Now I don't mind paying. Sometimes people are hard up, or you really wanted the date or whatever. I wouldn't go on a date if I couldn't afford it to begin with.

But after date one, we had maybe 4-5 rounds of cocktails and she didn't buy me so much as a single beer. Not even a token pretend movement towards her purse at any point. Just sat there quietly until I offered to get the next one. But she's hot right, and I've just met her, so we arranged another date later on.

Second date rolls around, we go out to a nice pizzeria. Again, not the slightest inclination to contribute at all.

I don't care how pretty you are, if this is the most polite you're ever going to be then it's not gonna work out.
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You are the man, for Christ's sake. You pay.
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I dunno you personally but if it bothered you that much then fair enough

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deupd_u posted...

You are the man, for Christ's sake. You pay.

You're telling me that if a woman didn't even make a gesture to try and contribute in any way it wouldn't bother you?

I mean there's three things I'll say about that

1) it's got nothing to do with the money. It's got everything to do with the lack of gesture, the feeling of being taken advantage of
2) it's 2019 deupd, women earn their own way
3) I did pay, and it was fine. I just don't want to see her again now.
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pinky0926 posted...

Picture a busty redhead with bright blue come fuck me eyes. Jessica Rabbit vibes.

I'd deal with it for this tbh
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Did you fuck?
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Yeah that's bs. But if she's American she's from a backwards ass culture where she's conditioned to think she shouldn't pay. So you might have to nudge her in the right direction
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If you want her to pay then tell her. You don't have to be afraid of talking.
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I agree with you TC but after 2 dates I wouldnt let it bother you too much. I went on 4 dates with this girl early last year (like $100 in drinks only kind of dates) and she didnt pay for anything, but she was hot so I let it slide.

However, I dated another girl for a couple months prior and she didnt pay a dime for any of our dates either. Thats when I made a big fuss about it. Needless to say, we broke up.

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This redhead...did she have naturally ginger hair, or was it just dyed red hair?

Natural redheads are awesome. Also...freckles?

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deupd_u posted...

You are the man, for Christ's sake. You pay.

This. I get annoyed when women "make the gesture" to try and pay. Like, we both know you're not paying, don't insult me by doing the purse shuffle pantomime.
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deupd_u posted...

You are the man, for Christ's sake. You pay.

If he's the man, he gets to decide when it's worth paying.
Clearly he decided she wasn't worth it...

That's what it's like to have self respect and standards.
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DocDelicious posted...

deupd_u posted...

You are the man, for Christ's sake. You pay.

This. I get annoyed when women "make the gesture" to try and pay. Like, we both know you're not paying, don't insult me by doing the purse shuffle pantomime.

Ok, I'll elaborate.

I'm deeply unattracted to women who can't carry their own way (or worse, can carry their way but don't want to), and are looking for a coinpurse or a daddy or some kind of all-round provider. I like self sufficient, independent women who don't need me to look after them. Being pretty is nice, but having a your own feet is hotter.

Now maybe if we had a family unit, and I had a job and she looked after the kids - of course I'm paying. But damn, buy me a fucking beer girl, you're a goddamn doctor.
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Hair, pinky, hair. It's a straightforward question.
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pinky0926 posted...

DocDelicious posted...

deupd_u posted...

You are the man, for Christ's sake. You pay.

This. I get annoyed when women "make the gesture" to try and pay. Like, we both know you're not paying, don't insult me by doing the purse shuffle pantomime.

Ok, I'll elaborate.

I'm deeply unattracted to women who can't carry their own way (or worse, can carry their way but don't want to), and are looking for a coinpurse or a daddy or some kind of all-round provider. I like self sufficient, independent women who don't need me to look after them. Being pretty is nice, but having a your own feet is hotter.

Now maybe if we had a family unit, and I had a job and she looked after the kids - of course I'm paying. But damn, buy me a fucking beer girl, you're a goddamn doctor.

I see that as something entirely separate from paying for dates. Our viewpoints are almost perfectly opposite of one another though so, take that how you will.

If we go out on a date, I'm paying no matter what.
If we are raising a family together, everything is split 50/50.
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Did you ask her out, or vice versa? Who bought up the second date?


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deupd_u posted...

You are the man, for Christ's sake. You pay.

Not his girlfriend. Why should he pay for a casual date? Where are your balls at?

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Bummer man.

*continues swiping on Bumble*
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENfpFROyeYs" data-time="

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AbysmalTrinity posted...

Not his girlfriend. Why should he pay for a casual date? Where are your balls at?

If he asked her out, he pays. If she asked him out, she pays.

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AbysmalTrinity posted...

Not his girlfriend. Why should he pay for a casual date? Where are your balls at?

Not in her mouth obviously

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DocDelicious posted...


I think we are quite different, is all. Fair enough.

vigorm0rtis posted...

Did you ask her out, or vice versa? Who bought up the second date?

I see what you're getting at, but believe it or not she insisted on both dates more than I did. And on both occasions I settled on venues that were humble but nice. Places any person in their late 20s-30s with a job should be able to afford.
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vigorm0rtis posted...

If he asked her out, he pays. If she asked him out, she pays.

I'm not paying for a girl that I don't know if I'll see again. You only pay if you establish something like sex or made out.

That's some beta male shit

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Why can't you answer if you had sex? This matters for my analysis
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Dat_Cracka_Jax posted...

Why can't you answer if you had sex? This matters for my analysis

hands where I can see them, mister

AbysmalTrinity posted...

I'm not paying for a girl that I don't know if I'll see again. You only pay if you establish something like sex or made out.

That's some beta male shit

Lmao. Youd rather give her money for sex or making out than paying for a date which could lead to said favors?

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pinky0926 posted...

I see what you're getting at, but believe it or not she insisted on both dates more than I did. And on both occasions I settled on venues that were humble but nice. Places any person in their late 20s-30s with a job should be able to afford.

Fair enough, then.

AbysmalTrinity posted...

I'm not paying for a girl that I don't know if I'll see again. You only pay if you establish something like sex or made out.

That's some beta male shit

Tell me more, dude who works part-time at Taco Bell.

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WashYourHands posted...

Lmao. Youd rather give her money for sex or making out than paying for a date which could lead to said favors?

Or you could be a beta male and waste your money and time thinking you'll end up with a woman who has no interest in but using you

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Dat_Cracka_Jax posted...

Why can't you answer if you had sex? This matters for my analysis

Oh sorry, I didn't see your question.

Actually, this brings up another thing. No, we haven't had sex. Is this another American thing? The idea that you need to have exactly 3 dates before sex is on the cards, or something.

We made out and got a bit handsy. Some nudes were exchanged. That's it.
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vigorm0rtis posted...

Fair enough, then.

Tell me more, dude who works part-time at Taco Bell.

Excuse you? I have a full time job teaching and do video editing on the side for Google in New York.
Go back to high school with your high school insults.

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pinky0926 posted...

Dat_Cracka_Jax posted...

Why can't you answer if you had sex? This matters for my analysis

Oh sorry, I didn't see your question.

Actually, this brings up another thing. No, we haven't had sex. Is this another American thing? The idea that you need to have exactly 3 dates before sex is on the cards, or something.

We made out and got a bit handsy. Some nudes were exchanged. That's it.

I've heard of the 3 date rule but don't know how prevalent it actually is. Seems like she may be there with another date though. I'd probably go for one more date to see if sex is on the table. If not then I'd be done. Though that'd essentially just be paying for sex, but that could be overlooked depending on how she looked/fucked
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AbysmalTrinity posted...

Excuse you? I have a full time job teaching and do video editing on the side for Google in New York.
Go back to high school with your high school insults.

Sure you do.

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Dat_Cracka_Jax posted...

I've heard of the 3 date rule but don't know how prevalent it actually is. Seems like she may be there with another date though. I'd probably go for one more date to see if sex is on the table. If not then I'd be done. Though that'd essentially just be paying for sex, but that could be overlooked depending on how she looked/fucked

I feel very up in the air about that.

On one hand, she is undeniably hot, and I do want to see her naked.

On the other hand, now that I don't see this working out I don't like how it makes me feel to keep pursuing her for sex. I'm trying to get over my fuckboy years.
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AbysmalTrinity posted...

Or you could be a beta male and waste your money and time thinking you'll end up with a woman who has no interest in but using you

Ive been married for 19 years with 6 kids. Ive played the dating game and found a gem. You wont be so lucky with that attitude. All women arent gold diggers.


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Don't ditch her but wait for her to make the next move. She might just prefer agency on how she spends her money on you which would be fair enough.

vigorm0rtis posted...

Sure you do.

Yup. You're definitely probably like a teenager. I've been posting here before you probably old enough to tie your shoes.

Anyway TC want do you really want from this woman

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WashYourHands posted...

Ive been married for 19 years with 6 kids. Ive played the dating game and found a gem. You wont be so lucky with that attitude. All women arent gold diggers.

Almost all woman in NYC will sleep with you on the first date. The dating game has evolved. It isn't the same when you were single.

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AbysmalTrinity posted...

Yup. You're definitely probably like a teenager. I've been posting here before you probably old enough to tie your shoes.

Didn't do the rudimentary homework to see my account's older than yours, eh? Yeah, you're a teacher alright.

BTW, on your way to work?

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Unbridled female entitlement is a turn off and a deal breaker for me. I'd pay for dates because I thought it would help me get laid (it didn't) but there are plenty of cool girls out there. I've never paid for my current gfs meal unless it was her birthday or special occasion. Get the memo out to the young thirsty dudes, you're being used.

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Kolibri X posted...

Unbridled female entitlement is a turn off and a deal breaker for me. I'd pay for dates because I thought it would help me get laid (it didn't) but there are plenty of cool girls out there. I've never paid for my current gfs meal unless it was her birthday or special occasion. Get the memo out to the young thirsty dudes, you're being used.

That's what I'm trying to explain.

You can't expect anything when you're doing too much. The dating game changed. Woman are smashing like six dudes. Every guy needs to built a rotation of woman.

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deupd_u posted...

You are the man, for Christ's sake. You pay.

Fuck that old fashioned mentality. If you are in a relationship with someone, specifically a female, do you pay all the time? Does your girlfriend, partner, etc. not pay for anything? If so you're either lying, or a fool for being easy to exploit. You're only encouraging inequality and her financial dependance on you by doing so as well.
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Number090684 posted...

Fuck that old fashioned mentality. If you are in a relationship with someone, specifically a female, do you pay all the time? Does your girlfriend, partner, etc. not pay for anything? If so you're either lying, or a fool for being easy to exploit. You're only encouraging inequality and her financial dependance on you by doing so as well.

Thank you for having the common sense

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AbysmalTrinity posted...

Number090684 posted...

Fuck that old fashioned mentality. If you are in a relationship with someone, specifically a female, do you pay all the time? Does your girlfriend, partner, etc. not pay for anything? If so you're either lying, or a fool for being easy to exploit. You're only encouraging inequality and her financial dependance on you by doing so as well.

Thank you for having the common sense

No problem. Given today's society the average woman can easy make as much money, if not even more than the average male depending on their profession and what they are willing to do for a career. There's nothing wrong with treating a female every now and then, but if they don't reciprocate financially nearly as often as they expect you to, they are probably looking to exploit you and aren't worth spending your money or time with.
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If she treats me like a wallet then I'll just treat her like a vagina.

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did you fuck her after the first date
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circling back here
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You could have said something instead of dropping her. A lot of dudes just flat out pay for everything. This isnt an indication that she cant pay her own way either.
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pinky0926 posted...

Is this another American thing? The idea that you need to have exactly 3 dates before sex is on the cards, or something.

no
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You guys never told a girl ahead time that she's paying? Yes or no, tells you if she's worth keeping or not.
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Good on you for sticking to your guns on the matter. Sometimes it's understandable (like if she was a poor college student or something). If she's working and living life like everyone else, seems to me that it's common decency to at least offer to pay for.. I don't know, something. Anything.

The arrangement I have with my girl is pretty great. We basically don't keep track of who pays for who, but we each pay our share. Like if we go to a movie, maybe she grabs tickets, I grab snacks. I pay for dinner tonight, she pays for dinner the next time, etc. I think that's how it should be.
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