Current Events > TSA asks if a woman is pregnant; she was just fat. Writes a whole article after.

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Then, as the woman stroked her hand against the waistband of my yoga pants and across my belly, she said, Is there another one in there?

Suddenly the noise and lights around us seemed to dim. I couldnt believe she just asked if I was pregnant. I laughed nervously, shocked.

Nope, just the rest of the first one, I said sarcastically.

Oh, I know, it took me forever to lose the baby weight, she replied.

What? Did I hear this correctly? Did a perfect stranger just assume that I was pregnant and then, when I said no, assume I was trying to lose the weight she felt that I carried?

What if I was pregnant, but wasnt ready to talk about it yet? What if I had just had a miscarriage and couldnt bring myself to speak about my swollen belly without crying? What if I had been trying to get pregnant for several years and my belly was puffy from month after month of infertility shots and drugs? What if my daughter was adopted and that baby weight was from a few extra desserts I had over the holiday weekend?

Its none of your business. Let me repeat that with more emphasis. ITS. NONE. OF. YOUR. BUSINESS.

What I would have liked to tell this TSA agent was: No, Im not pregnant, and no, Im not trying to lose weight right now.

When is it ever OK to ask a woman if shes pregnant? Let me answer that for you: NEVER. If a woman is pregnant and wants to discuss it with strangers, she will. That is her choice. Not yours.

And it just keeps going on and on and on...

Source:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/asking-a-woman-if-shes-pregnant_n_5d8a2793e4b0938b5934d04e
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This is fucking hilarious
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Very awkward aux pas on the TSA worker's part who was just trying to make casual conversation to get through the shit nightmare that is working for TSA. Still harmless and innocent though.

if you don't want people to assume you're pregnant, don't be fat \_()_/
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"I'm proud of everything I am, but don't you dare make any comment that can make me feel ashamed of myself."

I mean that question is pretty damn unprofessional and just kind of a social faux pas in general.
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Who cares lmao.
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While this is almost certainly about how she doesn't like being called fat, she does raise several good points in defense of pregnant people, or people with pregnancy complications. That all being said, I don't think it's awful that we have a cultural assumption of pregnancy being a happy thing.
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IdiotMachine posted...

What I would have liked to tell this TSA agent was: No, Im not pregnant, and no, Im not trying to lose weight right now.

This is the best part.
I LITERALLY WANTED TO JUST SAY I WAS FAT BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY I COULDN'T!
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Seems like an over reaction to a harmless social interaction that was unintentionally rude.

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She should just be thankful they didn't make her buy an extra seat like they did with Kevin Smith.
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chrono625 posted...

Seems like an over reaction to a harmless social interaction that was unintentionally rude.

I do agree with this though. My gf owns her fatness, I like that better.
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You can find some way to get upset about just about any question anyone might ask you. Guess we can't talk to people anymore without someone getting offended.

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At least she now knows what everyone is thinking or saying behind her back
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Yall dudes get all "wtf you can't say anything anymore!!!" about literally everything. This has been a bad and rude faux pas for years

Malfunction posted...

Yall dudes get all "wtf you can't say anything anymore!!!" about literally everything. This has been a bad and rude faux pas for years

Exactly.

This has been a thing for years.

Hardly worth getting up in arms and making an entire article about it.

This is, at best, worth a tweet or facebook post.
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I have a friend who was pregnant and when someone asked her how far along she was at Walmart she said "I'm just fat" and they freaked out and apologized and she said "oh don't worry I did this to myself"
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Malfunction posted...

Yall dudes get all "wtf you can't say anything anymore!!!" about literally everything. This has been a bad and rude faux pas for years

Yes but:
KillerSlaw posted...

Hardly worth getting up in arms and making an entire article about it.

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Malfunction posted...

Yall dudes get all "wtf you can't say anything anymore!!!" about literally everything. This has been a bad and rude faux pas for years

Yeah, but before people might have a laugh about it. Not a nuclear meltdown.
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IdiotMachine posted...

Malfunction posted...

Yall dudes get all "wtf you can't say anything anymore!!!" about literally everything. This has been a bad and rude faux pas for years

Yes but:
KillerSlaw posted...

Hardly worth getting up in arms and making an entire article about it.

There's people itt who think that any reaction or displeasure at all is bad though.

Also people write articles about lived experiences all the time

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Malfunction posted...

There's people itt who think that any reaction or displeasure at all is bad though.

Also people write articles about lived experiences all the time

this is clearly an overreaction at least.

and also, thats what blogs are for. but it's huffpo, they need all the "news" they can get.

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voldothegr8 posted...

I will never get tired of this pic lol.
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Ultima Dragon posted...

Malfunction posted...

Yall dudes get all "wtf you can't say anything anymore!!!" about literally everything. This has been a bad and rude faux pas for years

Yeah, but before people might have a laugh about it. Not a nuclear meltdown.

True but the article is hardly harming anyone. If she tried to get the employee fired or something for this, that would be a true nuclear meltdown.
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What if I was pregnant, but wasnt ready to talk about it yet?

If youre pregnant and showing to the point that it is clearly visible, what in the world would make you not ready to talk about it? Youd be 4-5 months along presumably at the least. And Im assuming that this woman probably looked beyond that.

What if I had just had a miscarriage and couldnt bring myself to speak about my swollen belly without crying?

Shes really going to extremes here. Like What if someone asked how long I had been married because I was wearing a wedding ring, but my husband has just been murdered?

What if I had been trying to get pregnant for several years and my belly was puffy from month after month of infertility shots and drugs?

Again, shes going to some uncommon what-if scenarios to justify her feelings.

What if my daughter was adopted and that baby weight was from a few extra desserts I had over the holiday weekend?

Then youd be in the same situation as you currently find yourself in.

I mean, it sucks, and I feel bad for her that she was put in that weird situation, but it was an honest attempt at friendly banter from the TSA agent. Odds are that the woman has a large belly compared to the rest of her if this type of mistake is being made, but really, her options are 1) lose some weight, 2) wear clothes to conceal her belly better, or 3) just accept the fact that honest mistakes will happen, and thats all that this way.

I do fault the TSA agent for touching her belly, though. Dont go touching strangers, unsolicited.
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chrono625 posted...

Malfunction posted...

There's people itt who think that any reaction or displeasure at all is bad though.

Also people write articles about lived experiences all the time

this is clearly an overreaction at least.

and also, thats what blogs are for. but it's huffpo, they need all the "news" they can get.

Why, was it in the news section?
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Is there a picture of the fatty?

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I feel like a lot of people really struggle with the idea that media outlets publish things under Lifestyle etc headings.

The Popo posted...

I do fault the TSA agent for touching her belly, though. Dont go touching strangers, unsolicited.

I mean that's part of their job though lol. Like, they're literally paid to pat people down.
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Oatcakes posted...

Why, was it in the news section?

ignoring the quotation marks around the word news?

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The Popo posted...

I do fault the TSA agent for touching her belly, though. Dont go touching strangers, unsolicited.

TSA's unenviable job is to touch you where you could conceal something when you ping on the bodyscanner. For women, that's between the breasts, along the back of the braline where the clasps are, the whole length of both legs and the waistband. Bellies will be touched.

The pregnancy comments were rude, but TSA work is menial and wretched, so I forgive virtually any mindless banter on their part. I can't fathom what I'd talk about all day while groping strangers who hate me.
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So what point were you trying to make?

Most newspapers have an opinion/lifestyle section that can be treated as a one off blog post.
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Malfunction posted...

I feel like a lot of people really struggle with the idea that media outlets publish things under Lifestyle etc headings.

Why does that make this above criticism or ridicule?
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KillerSlaw posted...

Malfunction posted...

I feel like a lot of people really struggle with the idea that media outlets publish things under Lifestyle etc headings.

Why does that make this above criticism or ridicule?

How did you get that from what he said?
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It makes it above the particular criticism that is "ugh, can't believe they're publishing this as news!!!"

The Popo posted...

If youre pregnant and showing to the point that it is clearly visible, what in the world would make you not ready to talk about it? Youd be 4-5 months along presumably at the least. And Im assuming that this woman probably looked beyond that.

some women start bloating pretty early and can look pregnant-ish fairly early on, but that's beyond the point

The Popo posted...

Shes really going to extremes here. Like What if someone asked how long I had been married because I was wearing a wedding ring, but my husband has just been murdered?

this isn't an extreme statement, i think like 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriages

i love laughing at dumb shit on the internet but honestly i feel for the woman here. after childbirth a lot of women struggle with their weight and it's got to suck to have someone verbalize something like this because it basically validates the paranoid thought that everyone sees you as looking pregnant but is just not saying anything. plus we all know in society that women tend to have their self-worth lumped in with their physical appearance

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I'm all for not allowing your obesity to bring your confidence and self esteem down. I think people should not be fat shamed. You're not their fucking parent, so don't patronize. I think people that fat shame just have their own insecurities and its their way of bullying and projecting.

Having said that, I also believe that people should have a high threshold for being content with themselves. Like I think people should constantly be working to improve themselves...so always make an effort to eat better, exercise, lose weight, and live a healthy lifestyle overall. I also think people should be working to get better at their job, get better at being a parent, get better at their relationship. That logic should apply to all aspects of life.

Malfunction posted...

It makes it above the particular criticism that is "ugh, can't believe they're publishing this as news!!!"

So the rest of us that are mocking the fact it was published at all/that much effort was put into this are fine as long as we continue to not use the words news?
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Why are people so reactionary to everything even to the most innocuous things? I remember my son when he was a lot younger, around 7-8 years old, he had really long blonde curly hair. I was walking him to the restroom and a female worker was coming out of the ladies' restroom and saw my son from the back and said "does she knows she's going into the boy's room?" I said "that's my son, he just has long hair." That was it. It wasn't like the gal was being intentionally malicious. And some the people in this thread are always screaming about context are completely ignoring that in regards to the TSA worker.

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KillerSlaw posted...

Malfunction posted...

It makes it above the particular criticism that is "ugh, can't believe they're publishing this as news!!!"

So the rest of us that are mocking the fact it was published at all/that much effort was put into this are fine as long as we continue to not use the words news?

Yes...
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thanosibe posted...

Why are people so reactionary to everything even to the most innocuous things? I remember my son when he was a lot younger, around 7-8 years old, he had really long blonde curly hair. I was walking him to the restroom and a female worker was coming out of the ladies' restroom and saw my son from the back and said "does she knows she's going into the boy's room?" I said "that's my son, he just has long hair." That was it. It wasn't like the gal was being intentionally malicious. And some the people in this thread are always screaming about context are completely ignoring that in regards to the TSA worker.

Exactly. My daughter has short hair atm and people mistake her for a boy all the time. I don't flip out about "misgendering" my child. Because certain outfits she wears you could mistake her for a boy. It's a completely innocent and harmless interaction.

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thanosibe posted...

Why are people so reactionary to everything even to the most innocuous things?

Because otherwise you wouldn't read the article
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eston posted...

Because otherwise you wouldn't read the article

Tbh I didn't. I just read the OP. But yeah I reacted to a reaction so I am just as bad? And I am not trying to be snarky, just trying to make sure I know what you are saying.

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thanosibe posted...

But yeah I reacted to a reaction so I am just as bad?

No, a few sentences reacting to the article on a dying video game message board is an appropriate reaction.

To be just as bad, you'd have to write an article about the article. To be even worse, you'd have to film a youtube video about the article.
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thanosibe posted...

eston posted...

Because otherwise you wouldn't read the article

Tbh I didn't. I just read the OP. But yeah I reacted to a reaction so I am just as bad? And I am not trying to be snarky, just trying to make sure I know what you are saying.

What I'm saying is, if it were a situation like with your son, where it was no big deal and everyone just moved on with their lives, it wouldn't be worth writing an article about. Her tone is meant to grab attention, that's why this sort of thing is so common on the internet
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The Popo posted...

I do fault the TSA agent for touching her belly, though. Dont go touching strangers, unsolicited.

It's their job to pat people down if they choose not to use the body scanner, or if the body scanner finds something.
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KillerSlaw posted...

No, a few sentences reacting to the article on a dying video game message board is an appropriate reaction.

To be just as bad, you'd have to write an article about the article. To be even worse, you'd have to film a youtube video about the article.

That sounds like way too much effort. Even when I am killing time at work lol

eston posted...

What I'm saying is, if it were a situation like with your son, where it was no big deal and everyone just moved on with their lives, it wouldn't be worth writing an article about. Her tone is meant to grab attention, that's why this sort of thing is so common on the internet

Oh ok. I get you now. Yeah I agree she's definitely trying to grab attention.

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