Current Events > i'm so tired of endless homework and graduate assistant crap

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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 10:10:18 AM
#1:


like i really wanna come home from work and play video games and watch TV not go "oh SHIT I told so and so I'd turn in my drafted policy and look into x y z issues before the end of the week" and "crap this quiz is due along with 5 discussion board posts"

I hope it's all worth it but man i'm goddamn exhausted. some of it feels good (like knowing I directly helped get a grant approved with my work that will benefit many people) but it's tiring. really hoping that my willingness to do GA work helps me a get teaching position when I graduate.
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Bestoffuture
09/12/19 10:11:38 AM
#2:


You should drop out

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konokonohamaru
09/12/19 10:13:10 AM
#4:


You gonna look for a tenure track position or just adjunct?
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teepan95
09/12/19 10:14:14 AM
#5:


I'm looking forward to teaching as a PhD candidate. I want a good mix of research and teaching as a post-doc

It's why I want to do a habilitation if possible
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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 10:16:57 AM
#6:


kewldude475 posted...
_Matchabuu_ posted...
like i really wanna come home from work and play video games and watch TV not go "oh SHIT I told so and so I'd turn in my drafted policy and look into x y z issues before the end of the week" and "crap this quiz is due along with 5 discussion board posts"

I hope it's all worth it but man i'm goddamn exhausted. some of it feels good (like knowing I directly helped get a grant approved with my work that will benefit many people) but it's tiring. really hoping that my willingness to do GA work helps me a get teaching position when I graduate.

Sounds inconvenient no doubt. But at least after you're done you don't have to go through it again, you did it and nobody can take that from you. Try looking at this school work as a video game, but in real life. Easier said than done though.


Well technically I do. Im enrolling in a DNP/PhD dual program after this. Only getting my Masters for now. But yeah Im just gonna have to push through and try to look at it like that. Its a good feeling to achieve goals and I really do want this. Just tired and beat the hell down. I appreciate it though, more than you know.

konokonohamaru posted...
You gonna look for a tenure track position or just adjunct?


Ill probably be stuck doing clinical rotations until I have my PhD. Which is okay but I always saw myself as a didactic prof... anyway definitely going for tenure track once its an option. University politics are terrifying though
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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 10:18:02 AM
#7:


teepan95 posted...
I'm looking forward to teaching as a PhD candidate. I want a good mix of research and teaching as a post-doc

It's why I want to do a habilitation if possible


Yeah I just wanna teach and research

Id give anything to find a purely research position as a RN (they exist but you usually need prior research experience OR extensive clinical experience)
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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 11:11:51 AM
#8:


Bestoffuture posted...
You should drop out


Meh, as depressed and worthless as I feel... honestly Ive thought about it.

Previously Id actually never been depressed to the point I wanted to give up on the only thing I really had going for me. Ive always at least been able to motivate myself to push through my work, despite being horribly depressed.

But Im getting worse, and its all slipping away from me at this point. Oh well.
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Foppe
09/12/19 11:15:03 AM
#9:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7YG0c5gNOA" data-time="

Think how much better it will feel once you are done.
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Duncanwii
09/12/19 11:15:43 AM
#10:


Joe why do you think it is ok for woman to talk about sex on here but not ok for men to the same thing? It comes off as a tad hypocritical.
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MacadamianNut3
09/12/19 11:17:29 AM
#11:


Tag
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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 11:20:44 AM
#12:


Foppe posted...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7YG0c5gNOA" data-time="

Think how much better it will feel once you are done.


Thanks. I really do know that this will be incredible once I graduate... being able to teach and all but its so hard because Im getting worse mentally and I dont know what to do. Im scared to try more medication because those often cause me to be so tired I sleep all day and have even less energy. I have so much work to do as it is without the addition struggle just to keep my eyes open. And the anxiety from the stress (which I partially bring on myself, yes) exhausts me even more. Its just hard.

Every time I think my depression has hit rock bottom I discover another depth to it. Somehow.
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konokonohamaru
09/12/19 11:37:09 AM
#13:


What's your field of study?
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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 11:43:48 AM
#14:


konokonohamaru posted...
What's your field of study?


Im a currently in grad school for nursing education. After this I plan on going for my doctorate and PhD so I can be an advanced practice nurse alongside being a professor. The degree Im currently pursuing will allow me access to education in practice areas but unlikely at the didactic level.
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teepan95
09/12/19 11:45:26 AM
#15:


I can't wait to start uni again in October

I managed to get that TA job from last year again, and afterwards there's a good chance of me getting an RA job for at least a year or so
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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 11:53:21 AM
#16:


Glad youre enjoying your program!
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konokonohamaru
09/12/19 12:10:49 PM
#17:


Cool. Wish you success in your academic pursuit.

I work as a professor, I know how hard it can be
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brestugo
09/12/19 12:32:58 PM
#18:


Grad school sucks, especially if you don't have a union. It's purely exploitative. Many professors only really care that papers get graded and sections get taught. The grad student is sometimes just an underpaid cog.
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konokonohamaru
09/12/19 12:33:55 PM
#19:


brestugo posted...
Grad school sucks, especially if you don't have a union. It's purely exploitative. Many professors only really care that papers get graded and sections get taught. The grad student is sometimes just an underpaid cog.


This is truth. Oftentimes it's only the golden boy (i.e. professor's favorite student) that gets enough attention to actually succeed in a future academic career. Everyone else is just manual labor for the most part
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brestugo
09/12/19 12:37:52 PM
#20:


konokonohamaru posted...
brestugo posted...
Grad school sucks, especially if you don't have a union. It's purely exploitative. Many professors only really care that papers get graded and sections get taught. The grad student is sometimes just an underpaid cog.


This is truth. Oftentimes it's only the golden boy (i.e. professor's favorite student) that gets enough attention to actually succeed in a future academic career. Everyone else is just manual labor for the most part

It's really sad. I tell people who are interested to find out how many PhDs a professor has put out before making them an advisor. There are professors who seem to never put out a PhD - it's all about their own research. It can be quite a scam.
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Sexypwnstar
09/12/19 12:39:00 PM
#21:


Grad schools have unions for students?
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brestugo
09/12/19 12:40:25 PM
#22:


Sexypwnstar posted...
Grad schools have unions for students?

I would say the good ones do. Most public universities and a lot of private ones. It's a very exploitable situation.
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konokonohamaru
09/12/19 12:41:55 PM
#23:


It's not unlike the NCAA, imo. You have people with talents to be making a real salary, but for the chance to enter into a profession that's controlled by a small handful of people, they make you pay your dues by working for next to nothing.
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scar the 1
09/12/19 12:42:31 PM
#24:


teepan95 posted...
I'm looking forward to teaching as a PhD candidate. I want a good mix of research and teaching as a post-doc

It's why I want to do a habilitation if possible

I don't mind teaching, but honestly, having teaching hours sprinkled into your research feels pretty bad
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konokonohamaru
09/12/19 12:45:43 PM
#25:


scar the 1 posted...
teepan95 posted...
I'm looking forward to teaching as a PhD candidate. I want a good mix of research and teaching as a post-doc

It's why I want to do a habilitation if possible

I don't mind teaching, but honestly, having teaching hours sprinkled into your research feels pretty bad


Yeah, it's a hard balance to maintain. But I'm seeing the importance of professors being engaged in both teaching and research now. Because if you stop doing research, after about 10 years your teaching is going to be outdated
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scar the 1
09/12/19 1:18:09 PM
#26:


konokonohamaru posted...
scar the 1 posted...
teepan95 posted...
I'm looking forward to teaching as a PhD candidate. I want a good mix of research and teaching as a post-doc

It's why I want to do a habilitation if possible

I don't mind teaching, but honestly, having teaching hours sprinkled into your research feels pretty bad


Yeah, it's a hard balance to maintain. But I'm seeing the importance of professors being engaged in both teaching and research now. Because if you stop doing research, after about 10 years your teaching is going to be outdated

Depending on the topic, yeah. It's a tricky situation to solve, luckily some people enjoy teaching more than others
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teepan95
09/12/19 3:51:30 PM
#27:


scar the 1 posted...
konokonohamaru posted...
scar the 1 posted...
teepan95 posted...
I'm looking forward to teaching as a PhD candidate. I want a good mix of research and teaching as a post-doc

It's why I want to do a habilitation if possible

I don't mind teaching, but honestly, having teaching hours sprinkled into your research feels pretty bad


Yeah, it's a hard balance to maintain. But I'm seeing the importance of professors being engaged in both teaching and research now. Because if you stop doing research, after about 10 years your teaching is going to be outdated

Depending on the topic, yeah. It's a tricky situation to solve, luckily some people enjoy teaching more than others

I'm about to start my second semester as a TA. I love it so far
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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 5:39:26 PM
#28:


konokonohamaru posted...
scar the 1 posted...
teepan95 posted...
I'm looking forward to teaching as a PhD candidate. I want a good mix of research and teaching as a post-doc

It's why I want to do a habilitation if possible

I don't mind teaching, but honestly, having teaching hours sprinkled into your research feels pretty bad


Yeah, it's a hard balance to maintain. But I'm seeing the importance of professors being engaged in both teaching and research now. Because if you stop doing research, after about 10 years your teaching is going to be outdated


Yeah I agree with this.

I appreciate the motivation- I depression napped the afternoon away but Ill spend my evening catching up
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Vyrulisse
09/12/19 9:31:11 PM
#29:


A shame you aren't tired of talking shit about people with actual depression in Gwaak's Discord though, right? Grow a spine and some integrity.
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ssj3vegeta
09/12/19 9:33:58 PM
#30:


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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 9:55:31 PM
#31:


Vyrulisse posted...
A shame you aren't tired of talking shit about people with actual depression in Gwaak's Discord though, right? Grow a spine and some integrity.


Lol you have no room to talk and you have no idea whats going on in my life.
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Strapon
09/12/19 9:57:03 PM
#32:


Vyrulisse posted...
A shame you aren't tired of talking shit about people with actual depression in Gwaak's Discord though, right? Grow a spine and some integrity.


Omggg
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Vyrulisse
09/12/19 9:57:48 PM
#33:


_Matchabuu_ posted...
Vyrulisse posted...
A shame you aren't tired of talking shit about people with actual depression in Gwaak's Discord though, right? Grow a spine and some integrity.


Lol you have no room to talk and you have no idea whats going on in my life.

Oh shut up already.

I talk shit about people and they know it but I'll do it in the open too unlike you.

You talk about how such a victim you are but I've seen a steady stream of pieces of you talking non-stop shit about people and the one I'm referring to was too far. "I don't know what her damage is" indeed.

You are disingenuous with a perpetual victim complex. You are not a victim, you are a victimizer. You subject any who will listen to your non-stop stream of nonsense and when they finally, even politely, have had enough you cry foul and act like you are an innocent victim. Everyone sees through it and even the bootlickers you temporarily gather will once they see it too and have enough. Rinse, Repeat.

It's not misogyny, it's not sexism, it's not any other Freshman Feminist buzzword you can conjure up: It's you.
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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 10:02:30 PM
#34:


Its a public discord ... it was absolutely out in the open. Everyone calls me every name in the book, sends me links on how to kill myself, but of course its OK to try to push me over the edge because of your grudge against me. But one negative thing about her and all hell breaks loose. Lmao ok.
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Prismsblade
09/12/19 10:08:28 PM
#35:


It sucks schools uut so much damn efficiency on homework, in idk when but I stopped doing it almost entirely throughout middle and HS.
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Vyrulisse
09/12/19 10:08:57 PM
#36:


_Matchabuu_ posted...
Its a public discord ... it was absolutely out in the open. Everyone calls me every name in the book, sends me links on how to kill myself, but of course its OK to try to push me over the edge because of your grudge against me. But one negative thing about her and all hell breaks loose. Lmao ok.

No one sends you links on how to kill yourself lol what? If you're talking about Error's discord that you left in a huff because you were asked nicely to stop talking about offing yourself all the time they were sending Suicide Prevention Numbers to you because they were concerned.

Unless you got some weird DM's from some of the harsher trolls known around here then yeah that's pretty messed up if that happened.
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smoliske
09/12/19 10:10:12 PM
#37:


@Vyrulisse

you have no idea what her depression is truly like, what goes on in her life, etc

I live with her and spend time with her every day. you are full of shit and your shit stinks.

you have no place to cast shade like some edgy teenager.

why don't you work on yourself before you start playing internet black knight

you say she has a complex when you have some obsession. honestly, what purpose does it serve to do this? nobody is asking you to like her. I'm not, she certainly isn't. you gain nothing by coming in here and shitting everywhere. So stop parading around like you're accruing points in some contest about trying "wreck" to people online
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Strapon
09/12/19 10:12:07 PM
#38:


smoliske posted...
@Vyrulisse

you have no idea what her depression is truly like, what goes on in her life, etc

I live with her and spend time with her every day. you are full of shit and your shit stinks.

you have no place to cast shade like some edgy teenager.

why don't you work on yourself before you start playing internet black knight

you say she has a complex when you have some obsession. honestly, what purpose does it serve to do this? nobody is asking you to like her. I'm not, she certainly isn't. you gain nothing by coming in here and shitting everywhere. So stop parading around like you're accruing points in some contest about trying "wreck" to people online


smol ur not helping
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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 10:13:36 PM
#39:


Vyrulisse posted...
_Matchabuu_ posted...
Its a public discord ... it was absolutely out in the open. Everyone calls me every name in the book, sends me links on how to kill myself, but of course its OK to try to push me over the edge because of your grudge against me. But one negative thing about her and all hell breaks loose. Lmao ok.

No one sends you links on how to kill yourself lol what? If you're talking about Error's discord that you left in a huff because you were asked nicely to stop talking about offing yourself all the time they were sending Suicide Prevention Numbers to you because they were concerned.

Unless you got some weird DM's from some of the harsher trolls known around here then yeah that's pretty messed up if that happened.


9diGh4z

In the same discord youre referencing, nonetheless.
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smoliske
09/12/19 10:13:57 PM
#40:


says the alt with the username "strapon"
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Strapon
09/12/19 10:14:44 PM
#41:


smoliske posted...
says the alt with the username "strapon"


You and me could get along smol
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Vyrulisse
09/12/19 10:21:18 PM
#42:


smoliske posted...
@Vyrulisse

you have no idea what her depression is truly like, what goes on in her life, etc

I live with her and spend time with her every day. you are full of shit and your shit stinks.

you have no place to cast shade like some edgy teenager.

why don't you work on yourself before you start playing internet black knight

you say she has a complex when you have some obsession. honestly, what purpose does it serve to do this? nobody is asking you to like her. I'm not, she certainly isn't. you gain nothing by coming in here and shitting everywhere. So stop parading around like you're accruing points in some contest about trying "wreck" to people online

If she is all you claim she is then please inform me where it's okay for her to cast judgement on someone who actually suffers from similar things? If anything she should understand why it's wrong to act that way towards others.

Besides I know what I see, what she presents to everyone and even you cannot deny it's entirely too much and when she's called out on it she cries harassment and victimhood. It's ridiculous and no one's buying it.

I understand you may have some need to stand up for her but defending this constant pattern of behavior will help no one in the long term and you know it despite what you may say openly.
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_Matchabuu_
09/12/19 10:31:06 PM
#43:


Are we going to ignore that link? Lol. At least when Im wrong I own up to it.
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Vyrulisse
09/12/19 10:32:05 PM
#44:


Honestly Jo if you got actual help and truly got real treatment you could be so much better than all this. You have to know that. You're a fun person and I like to think beneath these demons you carry a good one I just hope that you can see that someday.

Maybe I'm overly harsh sometimes but I've said it numerous times before I don't hate you, neither do a lot of people that you may think hate you. Seeking solace in negative attention isn't the way to go about it. Care or not, I said my piece and am done here.

Good luck and I mean that truly.
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ssj3vegeta
09/12/19 10:36:57 PM
#45:


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Strapon
09/12/19 10:38:51 PM
#46:


ssj3vegeta posted...
Who is Cipher CX on CE???


bover_87
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#47
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Vegy
09/12/19 10:51:18 PM
#48:


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smoliske
09/12/19 10:51:31 PM
#49:


Conflict posted...
smoliske posted...
@Vyrulisse

you have no idea what her depression is truly like, what goes on in her life, etc

I live with her and spend time with her every day. you are full of shit and your shit stinks.

you have no place to cast shade like some edgy teenager.

why don't you work on yourself before you start playing internet black knight

you say she has a complex when you have some obsession. honestly, what purpose does it serve to do this? nobody is asking you to like her. I'm not, she certainly isn't. you gain nothing by coming in here and shitting everywhere. So stop parading around like you're accruing points in some contest about trying "wreck" to people online


I dunno seems to me like she was just defending a friend of hers who legitimately has her own demons. She's made suicide topics on CE before so I'd say empathy could go a long way


this isn't a contest of whose more depressed. and empathy goes all ways.
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