Current Events > I'm debating dropping out of my buddy's wedding.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm not the best man, so it's not like my friend would be losing a key person, in fact I'm last in line. I get along fine with my friend's fiance and everyone else in the wedding party (that I know) but the bride's mom is just completely taking over. What really started it was when her mom vetoed our bachelor party. We weren't even doing anything crazy. Two of the groomsman are minors so in the afternoon we were going to a batting cage/putt putt golf course/go kart track, and then in the evening the guys who are over 21 were going to a local, hole in the wall bar. Her mom threw a hissy fit about the bar and then strongly suggested we go play laser tag, which none of us want to do. We still haven't found an option that pleases her. (I think most of us are going to the bar regardless)

Then momzilla got involved in how the men are dressing. We were originally going to be wear black pants and white shirts with blue vests. Now (after most of the groomsman have already bought the suits) she wants us to wear dark blue jeans, grey shirts, and brown vests.

Now today I found out she's pressuring her daughter into having the wedding party sign up for ball room dancing classes so we can do a dance at the reception. Even a lot of the bridesmaids don't want to do that, but I have a feeling tomorrow I'm going to get a text from the bride to be asking me to sign up. If she does, I'm really tempted to tell her to find someone else to fill my place.

She's always had a strained relationship with her mom, so my assumption is she's trying to please her but the mom needs to realize this day is about her daughter.
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Who the fuck doesn't want to play laser tag?
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I think priority one is getting your buddy to back out of this wedding, he doesn't want a mother in law like that.
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PatrickMahomes posted...

Who the fuck doesn't want to play laser tag?

We were all paintball kids (except the two minors) so laser tag is for wimps to us
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Is the mom paying for the whole wedding or something?
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I might be biased because I like ballroom dancing but I would just go for the lessons. Could end up liking it and it's a good skill to have.
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And this is why you don't get married

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PatrickMahomes posted...

Who the fuck doesn't want to play laser tag?

This. Hole in the wall bar for bachelor party is a shitty, lazy idea.

That said, the mother sounds like a lunatic. I wouldn't leave the bridal party over it though.
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r4X0r posted...

I think priority one is getting your buddy to back out of this wedding, he doesn't want a mother in law like that.

So much this

Who who... whoever heard of a bachelor party without booze, strippers and some fights ?
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PrettyBoyFloyd posted...

Who who... whoever heard of a bachelor party without booze, strippers and some fights ?

people from conservative families
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XxKrazyChaosxX posted...

Is the mom paying for the whole wedding or something?

LOL no. The groom's family is paying for everything but the reception reservation.

marthsheretoo posted...

I might be biased because I like ballroom dancing but I would just go for the lessons. Could end up liking it and it's a good skill to have.

To me it's more that the bride needs to take a stand against her mom. If the bride had come up with the idea, I'd accept it.
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LostForest posted...

This. Hole in the wall bar for bachelor party is a shitty, lazy idea.

None of us are crazy drinkers anymore (we're all approaching our 30s)

Ex-Kefiroth posted...

god I hate weddings.

I've been in three before and all three were a lot of fun.
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jackgunney posted...

To me it's more that the bride needs to take a stand against her mom. If the bride had come up with the idea, I'd accept it.

'at's fair.

I'm a month out from my own wedding rn and every time parents try to get too involved it pisses me off, so I definitely get where you're coming from.
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Priority one needs to be a chat with your buddy and ask exactly why the fuck they are letting anyone tell them how to get married.
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I'm super glad that our parents know they have virtually zero input on our wedding.

jackgunney posted...

PatrickMahomes posted...

Who the fuck doesn't want to play laser tag?

We were all paintball kids (except the two minors) so laser tag is for wimps to us

Our local laser tag has shock settings. 1 is like a phone vibrate, 5 is quite a jolt. I did that with a few guys for a bachelor party and you could hear the swearing get louder and slightly more pained as the hour flew by. Fun times.

jackgunney posted...

To me it's more that the bride needs to take a stand against her mom. If the bride had come up with the idea, I'd accept it.

Its a major red flag that she isnt. How old is she? She doesnt sound ready to be married tbh

PrettyBoyFloyd posted...

Who who... whoever heard of a bachelor party without booze, strippers and some fights ?

Mike Pence?

This is why my wife and I paid for everything (except the bar tab which my parents absolutely insisted on).

Whenever anyone tried to change anything or suggest something we didn't want, we told them to fuck off.
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jackgunney posted...

LostForest posted...

This. Hole in the wall bar for bachelor party is a shitty, lazy idea.

None of us are crazy drinkers anymore (we're all approaching our 30s)

So then why the fuck are you going to a bar for his bachelor party lol. Like I said, it's such a lazy, impersonal idea.
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Actual wedding stuff I think is fine for her to be involved in (not in charge of, but her input is appropriate), but your buddy is going to have some serious issues if he's already letting his future MIL to dictate what kind of bachelor party he's allowed to have. This goes beyond some shitty bar. He needs someone to explain the far-reaching consequences of letting this woman walk all over him. It should be a matter of principle to him, and he needs to stand up to her.
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LostForest posted...

So then why the fuck are you going to a bar for his bachelor party lol

As crazy as it sounds, people can go to bars without getting absolutely plastered.

JustMyOpinion posted...

Wouldn't surprise me if she's been getting steamrolled by her mom her entire life

I'm sure she has. Like I said earlier her relationship with her mom is unstable so I think she's trying to please her mom by letter her have her way.

But, great news, I was told that the bride's grandma is flying in tomorrow (Thursday) and she is royally pissed at her own daughter for taking control. So hopefully grandma straightens this out, if she does I'll stay in the wedding.
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Zangulus posted...

text

That's terrible. I know the wedding day is supposed to be about the bride but I can't stand how some women try to take full advantage of it.
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jackgunney posted...

LostForest posted...

So then why the fuck are you going to a bar for his bachelor party lol

As crazy as it sounds, people can go to bars without getting absolutely plastered.

Okay but that didn't really answer my question. Again, why go to a bar if you're not going to do the one thing bars are good at? Like, that seems even lazier and impersonal than if you guys were just going to get shitfaced.

Like, I didn't have alcohol at my bachelor party a few weeks ago either, because of some health problems and medication I'm on for it. There weren't any bars involved.
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LostForest posted...

jackgunney posted...

LostForest posted...

So then why the fuck are you going to a bar for his bachelor party lol

As crazy as it sounds, people can go to bars without getting absolutely plastered.

Okay but that didn't really answer my question. Again, why go to a bar if you're not going to do the one thing bars are good at? Like, that seems even lazier and impersonal than if you guys were just going to get shitfaced.

Like, I didn't have alcohol at my bachelor party a few weeks ago either, because of some health problems and medication I'm on for it. There weren't any bars involved.

It's just a mellow time. A group of guys drinking beers and chewing the fat. It was either that or a bonfire (which I was in favor of) but the bar won out. The groom wanted to go to a bar and chill
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I'm not the best man, so it's not like my friend would be losing a key person, in fact I'm last in line. I get along fine with my friend's fiance and everyone else in the wedding party (that I know) but the bride's mom is just completely taking over. What really started it was when her mom vetoed our bachelor party. We weren't even doing anything crazy. Two of the groomsman are minors so in the afternoon we were going to a batting cage/putt putt golf course/go kart track, and then in the evening the guys who are over 21 were going to a local, hole in the wall bar. Her mom threw a hissy fit about the bar and then strongly suggested we go play laser tag, which none of us want to do. We still haven't found an option that pleases her. (I think most of us are going to the bar regardless)

Then momzilla got involved in how the men are dressing. We were originally going to be wear black pants and white shirts with blue vests. Now (after most of the groomsman have already bought the suits) she wants us to wear dark blue jeans, grey shirts, and brown vests.

Now today I found out she's pressuring her daughter into having the wedding party sign up for ball room dancing classes so we can do a dance at the reception. Even a lot of the bridesmaids don't want to do that, but I have a feeling tomorrow I'm going to get a text from the bride to be asking me to sign up. If she does, I'm really tempted to tell her to find someone else to fill my place.

She's always had a strained relationship with her mom, so my assumption is she's trying to please her but the mom needs to realize this day is about her daughter.

Well, damn. I'm getting married in a week and I thought I had it bad.
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lmao this bachelors party sounds incredibly lame to me. I wouldn't go.

Politics posted...

lmao this bachelors party sounds incredibly lame to me. I wouldn't go.

They're all my friends or people I get along with so while it's not the stereotypical bachelor party scene, I think it'll still be a good time.
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For my bachelor party, my friends invited me to a Japanese restaurant for happy hour sushi, drew up a Japanese wall scroll that showed a story about my dog getting kidnapped, and had a waitress bring it over to the table and read it to me, telling me it says "Meet me at the library".
It kicked off a 3 hour long journey where they had different friends waiting at places like the library, coffeehouse, gift store, etc and I had to visit each place to get clues on where to go next until I finally got to the docks in my town where they had my father waiting with my dog. We then went back to my parents house and are a shit ton of pizza.

Like, if a dive bar is your scene, that's cool, and you guys should do what you're into. But you gotta stop acting like the only options for a bachelor party is to get blackout drunk, strippers, or both lol. It's a celebration of your buddy, do what he would like. If all he'd really like to do is sit in a bar though, then I stand corrected lol.
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