Current Events > Should women(trans) Let you know before hooking up?

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gmanthebest
08/25/19 11:59:58 AM
#454:


ChaoticKnuckles posted...
StealthRock posted...
DarkChozoGhost posted...
Yes, but attempting to use the "trans panic" defense in court for murder should be an automatic maximum sentence with no repeals.

So another kneejerk/overreactive response to an already existing kneejerk/overreactive response?


Well you cant beat the shit out of someone simply for being trans, yet it happens still. Thats a large part of the reason trans people are wary of telling someone they just met, they cant assume itll just be a simple Oh okay, not my thing, have a good night situation. If they tell a guy who approached them that dude might literally try to kill them because his pride is hurt or he feels uncomfortable that he couldnt immediately tell and actually tried to flirt.

They probably have a much lower chance of getting beaten if they reveal it at the start versus the guy finding out after sex that they were deceived.
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ChaoticKnuckles
08/25/19 12:03:02 PM
#455:


gmanthebest posted...
ChaoticKnuckles posted...
StealthRock posted...
DarkChozoGhost posted...
Yes, but attempting to use the "trans panic" defense in court for murder should be an automatic maximum sentence with no repeals.

So another kneejerk/overreactive response to an already existing kneejerk/overreactive response?


Well you cant beat the shit out of someone simply for being trans, yet it happens still. Thats a large part of the reason trans people are wary of telling someone they just met, they cant assume itll just be a simple Oh okay, not my thing, have a good night situation. If they tell a guy who approached them that dude might literally try to kill them because his pride is hurt or he feels uncomfortable that he couldnt immediately tell and actually tried to flirt.

They probably have a much lower chance of getting beaten if they reveal it at the start versus the guy finding out after sex that they were deceived.


Im not sure why people keep saying that to me as if Ive disagreed with that somewhere. My point is that I get why some are wary of revealing it at all. No one deserves to get killed over it, or beaten over it, and thats a real risk even if they reveal it right away.
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Nintendo415
08/25/19 12:03:39 PM
#456:


DarkChozoGhost posted...
Yes, but attempting to use the "trans panic" defense in court for murder should be an automatic maximum sentence with no repeals.


Couldnt agree more
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gmanthebest
08/25/19 12:11:49 PM
#457:


ChaoticKnuckles posted...
gmanthebest posted...
ChaoticKnuckles posted...
StealthRock posted...
DarkChozoGhost posted...
Yes, but attempting to use the "trans panic" defense in court for murder should be an automatic maximum sentence with no repeals.

So another kneejerk/overreactive response to an already existing kneejerk/overreactive response?


Well you cant beat the shit out of someone simply for being trans, yet it happens still. Thats a large part of the reason trans people are wary of telling someone they just met, they cant assume itll just be a simple Oh okay, not my thing, have a good night situation. If they tell a guy who approached them that dude might literally try to kill them because his pride is hurt or he feels uncomfortable that he couldnt immediately tell and actually tried to flirt.

They probably have a much lower chance of getting beaten if they reveal it at the start versus the guy finding out after sex that they were deceived.


Im not sure why people keep saying that to me as if Ive disagreed with that somewhere. My point is that I get why some are wary of revealing it at all. No one deserves to get killed over it, or beaten over it, and thats a real risk even if they reveal it right away.

Probably because it sounds like you're saying that they shouldn't reveal it at all.
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ChaoticKnuckles
08/25/19 12:15:58 PM
#458:


gmanthebest posted...
ChaoticKnuckles posted...
gmanthebest posted...
ChaoticKnuckles posted...
StealthRock posted...
DarkChozoGhost posted...
Yes, but attempting to use the "trans panic" defense in court for murder should be an automatic maximum sentence with no repeals.

So another kneejerk/overreactive response to an already existing kneejerk/overreactive response?


Well you cant beat the shit out of someone simply for being trans, yet it happens still. Thats a large part of the reason trans people are wary of telling someone they just met, they cant assume itll just be a simple Oh okay, not my thing, have a good night situation. If they tell a guy who approached them that dude might literally try to kill them because his pride is hurt or he feels uncomfortable that he couldnt immediately tell and actually tried to flirt.

They probably have a much lower chance of getting beaten if they reveal it at the start versus the guy finding out after sex that they were deceived.


Im not sure why people keep saying that to me as if Ive disagreed with that somewhere. My point is that I get why some are wary of revealing it at all. No one deserves to get killed over it, or beaten over it, and thats a real risk even if they reveal it right away.

Probably because it sounds like you're saying that they shouldn't reveal it at all.


Again, not sure where I said that anywhere. I simply understand why some dont. Like I said, in a perfect world, every trans person would make people aware of it, and non-trans people wouldnt physically attack them when they do so. But we dont live in a perfect world. As long as the threat of physical harm is real, I understand why some people just dont say anything about it.

I know how I would personally react. I would never physically attack someone for revealing that to me, but I also know that strangers dont know me. For all they know, they could tell me and I could follow them home and try to kill them. So while I would prefer that people be up front about it, I understand why sometimes theyre not.
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LadyVyxx
08/25/19 12:17:48 PM
#459:


MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side
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Shablagoo
08/25/19 12:23:16 PM
#460:


LadyVyxx posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side


Are you Gobs alt? Because most people dont seem to have so much trouble accepting the common definition of deception.
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LadyVyxx
08/25/19 12:30:57 PM
#461:


Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side


Are you Gobs alt? Because most people dont seem to have so much trouble accepting the common definition of deception.


Purposely withholding information?
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Shablagoo
08/25/19 12:39:58 PM
#462:


LadyVyxx posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side


Are you Gobs alt? Because most people dont seem to have so much trouble accepting the common definition of deception.


Purposely withholding information?


Sorry youre so, so, so late to the topic, Ill reiterate whats been said. Withholding being trans is no different from withholding your particular ancestry.
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DoubleDare
08/25/19 12:43:32 PM
#463:


If their post-op, perhaps they still should, but then again are we honest when women ask how many girl's we've been with?

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TheMikh
08/25/19 12:55:42 PM
#464:


I'm surprised this topic has grown so large.

There are really two options: telling him before they're alone, or telling him when they're alone and in an intimate space.

Given that (1) he's going to find out either way and (2) his reaction is safely assumed to be unpredictable, it is then most advantageous and most safe for her to tell him beforehand, in a public environment where they are not alone.

The alternative is to take a gamble on the possibility that he might grow to like her enough to look past that, but if it fails, it has at best been a waste of both parties' time.

LGBTQ activists often place emphasis on violence happening against transwomen, which can safely be assumed to be a worst case scenario. As much as such violence should be abhorred and can and will be prosecuted by law, it is in the interest of the transwoman to conduct herself in a manner that best ensures her own safety.
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Shablagoo
08/25/19 1:00:33 PM
#465:


TheMikh posted...
I'm surprised this topic has grown so large.

There are really two options: telling him before they're alone, or telling him when they're alone and in an intimate space.

Given that (1) he's going to find out either way and (2) his reaction is safely assumed to be unpredictable, it is then most advantageous and most safe for her to tell him beforehand, in a public environment where they are not alone.

The alternative is to take a gamble on the possibility that he might grow to like her enough to look past that, but if it fails, it has at best been a waste of both parties' time.

LGBTQ activists often place emphasis on violence happening against transwomen, which can safely be assumed to be a worst case scenario. As much as such violence should be abhorred and can and will be prosecuted by law, it is in the interest of the transwoman to conduct herself in a manner that best ensures her own safety.


The reason its gotten so large isnt that anyone is disputing that it is safer for a trans woman to tell prospective dates up front that shes trans. (In my experience, this is standard practice for many trans women anyway.)

The reason its gotten so large is that bigoted, transphobic users keep repeating the same tired and illogical, repeatedly-dismantled opinions. Thankfully, some of their worst comments have at least been modded and one Warn was handed out.
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#466
Post #466 was unavailable or deleted.
PIITB415
08/25/19 1:03:18 PM
#467:


TeaMilk posted...
StealthRock posted...
Yes. To do otherwise would be misleading and potential rape

Yikes

He's correct. It is rape
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Shablagoo
08/25/19 1:04:51 PM
#468:


PIITB415 posted...
TeaMilk posted...
StealthRock posted...
Yes. To do otherwise would be misleading and potential rape

Yikes

He's correct. It is rape


Can you cite a case where this was considered rape? No? Oh, ok.
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KarmaMuffin
08/25/19 1:08:51 PM
#469:


If she's post-op, then it does not matter. You're obviously attracted to her and you'll never know otherwise. There is no reason for her to disclose that she's trans outside of you having your own personal issues to get over. It's like when a kid who says they hate chicken turn around and say they love nuggets, until they find out they are made of chicken. Like, you obviously like chicken (attracted to her) before you found out they were made of chicken (she is trans), so get over it.

Pre-op? Nah, she should disclose it. You are setting yourself up for disappointment and risk getting in danger if someone finds a penis where they're expecting a vagina.
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Shablagoo
08/25/19 1:11:40 PM
#470:


KarmaMuffin posted...
If she's post-op, then it does not matter. You're obviously attracted to her and you'll never know otherwise. There is no reason for her to disclose that she's trans outside of you having your own personal issues to get over. It's like when a kid who says they hate chicken turn around and say they love nuggets, until they find out they are made of chicken. Like, you obviously like chicken (attracted to her) before you found out they were made of chicken (she is trans), so get over it.

Pre-op? Nah, she should disclose it. You are setting yourself up for disappointment and risk getting in danger if someone finds a penis where they're expecting a vagina.


Well-said. Illustrates perfectly how childish the transphobe attitudes ITT are (or were, now that the main perpetrator is on timeout) and why some of us in here are so frustrated with them.
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OctilIery
08/25/19 1:39:04 PM
#471:


PIITB415 posted...
TeaMilk posted...
StealthRock posted...
Yes. To do otherwise would be misleading and potential rape

Yikes

He's correct. It is rape

Objectively wrong.
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LadyVyxx
08/25/19 1:41:46 PM
#472:


Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side


Are you Gobs alt? Because most people dont seem to have so much trouble accepting the common definition of deception.


Purposely withholding information?


Sorry youre so, so, so late to the topic, Ill reiterate whats been said. Withholding being trans is no different from withholding your particular ancestry.


Says who
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OctilIery
08/25/19 1:44:43 PM
#473:


LadyVyxx posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side


Are you Gobs alt? Because most people dont seem to have so much trouble accepting the common definition of deception.


Purposely withholding information?


Sorry youre so, so, so late to the topic, Ill reiterate whats been said. Withholding being trans is no different from withholding your particular ancestry.


Says who

The law, morality, and simple logic.
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evil_zombie11
08/25/19 1:45:47 PM
#474:


This is literally a Nip/Tuck plot line lol
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LadyVyxx
08/25/19 1:46:48 PM
#475:


OctilIery posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side


Are you Gobs alt? Because most people dont seem to have so much trouble accepting the common definition of deception.


Purposely withholding information?


Sorry youre so, so, so late to the topic, Ill reiterate whats been said. Withholding being trans is no different from withholding your particular ancestry.


Says who

The law, morality, and simple logic.


Okay lets talk morality. Show me in the bible where it says something remotely close to your argument
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OctilIery
08/25/19 1:53:58 PM
#476:


LadyVyxx posted...
Okay lets talk morality. Show me in the bible where it says something remotely close to your argument

The Bible doesn't determine morality.

But if you want to go that route, the Bible is full of examples of loving your neighbor and not judging.
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Shablagoo
08/25/19 2:12:21 PM
#477:


evil_zombie11 posted...
This is literally a Nip/Tuck plot line lol


What happened in the episode?
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R_Jackal
08/25/19 2:31:59 PM
#478:


Post op? No. Pre op? Yeah, for their own safety it'd be best. Some people are crazy as shit when they hear that.
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LadyVyxx
08/25/19 2:34:03 PM
#479:


OctilIery posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
Okay lets talk morality. Show me in the bible where it says something remotely close to your argument

The Bible doesn't determine morality.

But if you want to go that route, the Bible is full of examples of loving your neighbor and not judging.


So what determines universal morality
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gmanthebest
08/25/19 3:06:47 PM
#480:


Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side


Are you Gobs alt? Because most people dont seem to have so much trouble accepting the common definition of deception.


Purposely withholding information?


Sorry youre so, so, so late to the topic, Ill reiterate whats been said. Withholding being trans is no different from withholding your particular ancestry.

Lmfao, no. One is about if you could be half Irish or something that's insignificant to the majority of the population. The other is about if you've had major surgery to change your sex organs, which is very significant to the majority of the population.
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OctilIery
08/25/19 3:16:24 PM
#481:


LadyVyxx posted...
OctilIery posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
Okay lets talk morality. Show me in the bible where it says something remotely close to your argument

The Bible doesn't determine morality.

But if you want to go that route, the Bible is full of examples of loving your neighbor and not judging.


So what determines universal morality

In a general sense? Nothing, it's vague and undefined. But in this case? Basic human fucking decency.
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MrPeppers
08/25/19 3:19:20 PM
#482:


I get being frustrated or feeling a little betrayed if you find out, but honestly the only situation where this disclosure wouldnt happen is for the few first dates or hookups, and if you took it that fast even in a dating scenario thats on you buddy and you dont have much of a moral high ground to stand on.
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StealthRock
08/25/19 3:39:53 PM
#483:


Shablagoo posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?

Yes bcuz udderwise im GAY!!!

-the literal bigoted stance of transphobes

I love your lack of respect for other mens sexulity
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RdVEHfJqAvUPIbk
08/25/19 3:40:22 PM
#484:


It's funny how the dude that got baited is warned but the dude baiting him and spamming was let off
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StealthRock
08/25/19 3:44:26 PM
#485:


Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side


Are you Gobs alt? Because most people dont seem to have so much trouble accepting the common definition of deception.


Purposely withholding information?


Sorry youre so, so, so late to the topic, Ill reiterate whats been said. Withholding being trans is no different from withholding your particular ancestry.

I used to have a penis is the same as , im part of some ethinic group.... right....
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FursonaNonGrata
08/25/19 4:00:06 PM
#486:


StealthRock posted...
Shablagoo posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?

Yes bcuz udderwise im GAY!!!

-the literal bigoted stance of transphobes

I love your lack of respect for other mens sexulity


Most men disrespect their sexuality enough as is. Just read this topic. If youre attracted to someone to the point you want to have a sexual experience with them only to do a complete 180 once you find out what parts they have, youre not mature enough to be hooking up with people.
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StealthRock
08/25/19 4:03:04 PM
#487:


FursonaNonGrata posted...
StealthRock posted...
Shablagoo posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?

Yes bcuz udderwise im GAY!!!

-the literal bigoted stance of transphobes

I love your lack of respect for other mens sexulity


Most men disrespect their sexuality enough as is. Just read this topic. If youre attracted to someone to the point you want to have a sexual experience with them only to do a complete 180 once you find out what parts they have, youre not mature enough to be hooking up with people.

Right..... so its up to you to help men be more mature

Being turned off when finding out all the info is childish. I see your logic now
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Shablagoo
08/25/19 4:08:16 PM
#488:


gmanthebest posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side


Are you Gobs alt? Because most people dont seem to have so much trouble accepting the common definition of deception.


Purposely withholding information?


Sorry youre so, so, so late to the topic, Ill reiterate whats been said. Withholding being trans is no different from withholding your particular ancestry.

Lmfao, no. One is about if you could be half Irish or something that's insignificant to the majority of the population. The other is about if you've had major surgery to change your sex organs, which is very significant to the majority of the population.


Yes, it is very significant to bigots. Ive already explained how this is the same logic used by neonazis who would be disgusted if they found out they had sex with a Jewish person.
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pls
08/25/19 4:31:32 PM
#489:


Yes
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StealthRock
08/25/19 4:38:50 PM
#490:


Shablagoo posted...
gmanthebest posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side


Are you Gobs alt? Because most people dont seem to have so much trouble accepting the common definition of deception.


Purposely withholding information?


Sorry youre so, so, so late to the topic, Ill reiterate whats been said. Withholding being trans is no different from withholding your particular ancestry.

Lmfao, no. One is about if you could be half Irish or something that's insignificant to the majority of the population. The other is about if you've had major surgery to change your sex organs, which is very significant to the majority of the population.


Yes, it is very significant to bigots. Ive already explained how this is the same logic used by neonazis who would be disgusted if they found out they had sex with a Jewish person.

We arent talking about bigots. We are talking about straight men. Unless not liking transwomen makes you a bigot,
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OctilIery
08/25/19 4:39:51 PM
#491:


RdVEHfJqAvUPIbk posted...
It's funny how the dude that got baited is warned but the dude baiting him and spamming was let off

Because I never broke the rules or said anything offensive. Funny how that works.
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OctilIery
08/25/19 4:40:47 PM
#492:


pls posted...
Yes

Objectively wrong.
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EbonTitanium
08/25/19 4:42:10 PM
#493:


What happen to this topic?
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OctilIery
08/25/19 4:42:49 PM
#494:


EbonTitanium posted...
What happen to this topic?

Bigots were objectively wrong
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Esrac
08/25/19 4:43:52 PM
#495:


Shablagoo posted...
gmanthebest posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
Shablagoo posted...
LadyVyxx posted...
MrPeppers posted...
Can you really be that mad if you were just in it for a hookup to begin with though?


That's what like 50% of people are trying to do it doesnt mean deception is okay though on either side


Are you Gobs alt? Because most people dont seem to have so much trouble accepting the common definition of deception.


Purposely withholding information?


Sorry youre so, so, so late to the topic, Ill reiterate whats been said. Withholding being trans is no different from withholding your particular ancestry.

Lmfao, no. One is about if you could be half Irish or something that's insignificant to the majority of the population. The other is about if you've had major surgery to change your sex organs, which is very significant to the majority of the population.


Yes, it is very significant to bigots. Ive already explained how this is the same logic used by neonazis who would be disgusted if they found out they had sex with a Jewish person.


The only thing you're convincing me of is maybe the bigots have a good point.
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solosnake
08/25/19 4:44:53 PM
#496:


Should be considered rape if it wasnt disclosed
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#497
Post #497 was unavailable or deleted.
#498
Post #498 was unavailable or deleted.
KID VID
08/25/19 4:46:57 PM
#500:


Close this topic, please.
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